[DRAFT] Biography of Leader (working title)

[Caracasus]

Working title, working issue. Premise is that Leader has been finally cornered into getting down and making a start on their official biography. A tad jokier than some premises, but I think it could be fun to flesh out your leader's past. I'm thinking quite a few options, but with a lot of them having certain checks on them. It's going to be odd having the leader voiced in part... but when raised with the writer's block this wasn't pulled up as a problem. We shall see - still unsure on this one.

Draft three

Issue: After desperately scouring every newspaper, website and even after dragging in a few of the country's more outspoken political activists you've come to a depressing conclusion. There are no global, national or even made up catastrophes or dilemmas that you could possibly use as an excuse. Having dragged in various officials and pundits to better share the misery, it is time to face the music @@LEADER@@. Your official biographer awaits...

valid if: National leader, answered more than 100 issues, not a monarchy/hereditary rule.

Option one: "What to include? What about the fact that you've placed your very life on the line to defend them!" Bellows General @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Focus on your illustrious service in the armed forces shedding blood to protect our nation! I can see it now... @@LEADER@@'s Art of War."
[effect] movie adaptations of @@LEADER@@'s biography come with graphic violence warnings
valid if: High military spending


Option two: 'How about focusing on what makes our nation great?" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@ - C.E.O of a @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ corporation. ''business after business built from nothing more than a modest inheritance, a can-do attitude and cut-throat competition. We'll call it The Art of the Sale.
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography is required reading on many economics syllabuses
Valid if: Private industry.


Option three: "Comrade," states a party deputy, "You've practically written the book on overthrowing capitalism and establishing a model socialist state. Why not make it official? @@LEADER@@'s Little Red Book.
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s sixteen hundred page biography is beloved by revolutionaries and insomniacs the world over
Valid if: No private industry


Option four: "Don't forget what put you in office in the first place!" yells out community activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The No Blood for Diamonds protest? Save the Wetlands march? We Shall Overcome. How's that for a title?"
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography contains the most searing criticisms of @@LEADER@@'s record published.
Valid if: High political freedoms and low political apathy.


Option five: Your press officer frowns and calls up a chart. "You're not polling quite as highly in the YFTPLI bracket as we'd really like so... I'd say focus on a feel-good story from your childhood that shows your support for the traditional and non-traditional family unit alike. @@LEADER@@, My Story.
[effect] focus groups and think tanks alike applaud @@LEADER@@'s biography


Option six: "Isn't it a bit weird to write a biography about someone who isn't dead yet?" Motions an adviser. ''After all you could make a complete and utter mess of the @@REGION@@ Trade Pact next year. Why don't you promise to keep a diary and we'll let them publish it after your death."
[effect] bookshops and publishers await @@LEADER@@'s death with baited breath


Option seven:''Well child'' muses High Priest @@RANDOMNAME@@ of @@RELIGION@@. "Whereas leaders before have trifled themselves with mere material concerns of the populous, you have saved their very souls. Write about that, and we'll be sure to make it official @@RELIGION@@ Canon"
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography is quite literally the nation's bible
valid if: High religiousity and national religion.


Option eight: "How about we call it @@LEADER@@ - My Struggle?" suggests author Josie Goballs, saluting you. "It'd be about how you realised that immigrants are ruining the country, and what you're going to do about it! Your final solution, if you will."
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography has human rights watchdogs on high alert
valid if: High charmlessness, high authoritarianism, very low inclusivity


Option nine: "Why are we taking this seriously?" sneers satirist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look at our dear leader's record - remember that time someone took a photo of you picking your nose? And that mess with the hotels... seriously, you couldn't make this stuff up! Why not focus on the cock-ups and comedy? At least it'll give everyone a laugh."
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography is currently being turned into a sitcom


Option ten: "Why don't you let me write it?" Asks your most obsequious butler @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Bowell. "After all, I've served you loyally and faithfully for decades. Let me write it and I'll be sure to tell your dear subjects what a wonderful monarch you are! @@LEADER@@, A Noble Duty!"
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography contains a detailed list of breakfasts and bowel movements

Draft two

Issue: After desperately scouring every newspaper, website and even after dragging in a few of the country's more outspoken political activists you've come to a depressing conclusion. There are no global, national or even made up catastrophes or dilemmas that you could possibly use as an excuse. Having dragged in various officials and pundits to better share the misery, it is time to face the music @@LEADER@@. Your official biographer awaits...
valid if: National leader, answered more than 100 issues, not a monarchy/hereditary rule.

Option one: 'It's time to remind the people of our fine nation about how you've placed your very life on the line to defend them!'' Bellows General @@RANDOMNAME@@. ''Focus on your illustrious service in the armed forces shedding blood to protect our nation! I can see it now... @@LEADER@@'s Art of War."
[effect] movie adaptations of @@LEADER@@'s biography come with graphic violence warnings
valid if: High military spending

Option two: 'How about focusing on what makes our nation great?" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@ - C.E.O of a @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ corporation. ''business after business built from nothing more than a modest inheritance, a can-do attitude and cut-throat competition. We'll call it The Art of the Sale.
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography is required reading on many economics syllabuses
Valid if: Private industry.


Option three: ''Well comrade,'' states a party deputy. ''Surely you should be focusing on the defining moments of your premiership? The split between the Agrarian Revolutionary Syndicalist Movement and the Revolutionary Agrarian Syndicalist movement for starters... oh, and overthrowing capitalism. We'll call it @@LEADER@@, A Revolutionary Life.''
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s sixteen hundred page biography is beloved by revolutionaries and insomniacs the world over
Valid if: No private industry


Option four: ''Don't forget what put you in office in the first place!'' yells out community activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. ''The No Blood for Diamonds protest? Save the Wetlands march? Focus on how you've tried to change our nation and the world for the better through campaigning.''
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography contains the most searing criticisms of @@LEADER@@'s record published.
Valid if: High political freedoms and low political apathy.


Option five: Your press officer frowns and calls up a chart. ''You're not polling quite as highly in the YFTPLI bracket as we'd really like so... I'd say focus on a feel-good story from your childhood. Try to appeal to the average man or woman on the street - whilst of course making sure that you still come across as a strong and stable leader.''
[effect] focus groups and think tanks alike applaud @@LEADER@@'s biography

Option six: ''Isn't it a bit weird to write a biography about someone who isn't dead yet?'' Motions an adviser. ''I mean, we don't know what you're going to do in the next five years or so... you could make a complete and utter balls-up of the Pan-@@REGION@@ Trade Pact for all we know. I say you should promise to keep a diary from now on and we'll let them publish it after your death.''
[effect] bookshops and publishers await @@LEADER@@'s death with baited breath

Option seven:''Well child'' muses High Priest @@RANDOMNAME@@ of @@RELIGION@@, fiddling with his ceremonial robes. ''Whereas leaders before have trifled themselves with mere material concerns of the populous, you have spoken to their immortal souls. How many have you saved from eternal damnation? Take this opportunity to spread the good word of @@RELIGION@@ further.''
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography is often filed under religious texts in bookshops
valid if: High religiousity and national religion.

Option eight: "We'd call it '@@LEADER@@ - My Struggle'," suggests author Josie Goballs, saluting you. "It'd be about how you realised that immigrants are ruining the country, and what you're going to do about it! Your final solution, if you will."
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography has human rights watchdogs on high alert
valid if: High charmlessness, high authoritarianism, very low inclusivity

Option nine: ''By Violet, you lot are a miserable, somber bunch aren't you?'' questions satirist @@RANDOMNAME@@. ''Look at our dear leader's record - remember that time someone took a photo of you picking your nose? And that mess with the hotels... seriously, you couldn't make this stuff up! Why not focus on the cock-ups and comedy? At least it'll give everyone a laugh.''
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography comes with its own laughter track

Draft one:

Issue: After desperately scouring every newspaper, website and even after dragging in a few of the country's more outspoken political activists you've come to a depressing conclusion. There are no global, national or even made up catastrophes or dilemmas that you could possibly use as an excuse. Time to face the music @@LEADER@@. Your official biographer awaits...
valid if: National leader, answered more than 100 issues, not a monarchy/hereditary rule.

Option one: "Well I guess I first thought about political office when I was on deployment," you muse, adjusting the medals on your jacket to better carry the weight. "Our armed forces are the shield that protects our people from all aggressors. Aggressors who, under my leadership, we've managed to largely carpet bomb back into the stone age. Who better to lead a country than someone who has not only sworn to protect it, but has also shed blood to do so?"
[effect] movie adaptations of @@LEADER@@'s biography come with graphic violence warnings
valid if: High military spending

Option two: "Where it all started?" you pause, gazing out across the sprawling, skyscraper dominated skyline. "You see those towers? I built that one, and that one... I guess you could say it all began when I turned my natural competitive talents and modest inheritance into the largest @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ firm in @@NATION@@! Pulled myself up by my bootstraps! Y'see where I come from, the business world, you don't get handouts for incompetence and trying hard. You get results or you get fired, something I've tried to bring into our government with my sweeping efficiency reforms."
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography is required reading on many economics syllabuses
Valid if: Private industry.


Option three: "Welcome comrade!" you beckon, clearing a pile of thick paperback revolutionary manifestos from your desk. "How I came to represent the proletariat of our nation? Well, shortly after I left school I split from the Radical People's Popular Agrarian Internationalist Movement at the now famous Fifth International Proletarian Congress and formed my own party - as I'm sure you'll remember. After many years fighting off revisionists and dissenters within my own party we finally got round to getting rid of Capitalism and the rest? Well..."
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s sixteen hundred page biography is beloved by revolutionaries and insomniacs the world over
Valid if: No private industry


Option four: "Well I knew that I was destined for politics when I organised my first sit-in protest at school over the removal of pizza from the cafeteria menu," you state, putting the finishing touches to a large placard. "I've involved myself in local, grassroots movements throughout. Save the Wetlands... No War for Diamonds... I've lost count of the amount of marches I've been on. I must say, it's a bit odd now being on the other side of the fence, so to speak but I still find time to attend the occasional sit-in. Even if I'm technically protesting against... well, myself."
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography contains the most searing criticisms of @@LEADER@@'s record published.
Valid if: Democracy/political freedoms.


Option five: As your press officer ushers in the writer, you turn and give them a smile that reflects compassion with an element of security and stability with the over 45's and under 27's. "Well," you begin. "According to the focus groups, I'm not polling quite as highly in the YFTPLI - er, Young First Time Parents Lower Income bracket as the press office would like so... I'd say it began with my parents really. They married young, and even though they worked hard, times were tough. Still, they managed to raise me with a strong ethical compass that truly reflects the unique and treasured traditions of @@NAME@@, whilst of course still managing to be accepting and inclusive of new and different cultures. I'm sorry, what was the question again?"
[effect] focus groups and think tanks alike applaud @@LEADER@@'s biography

Option six: "Umm..." you stutter, desperately wracking your brains for a way out. "Wouldn't it be a bit weird to write a biography for me while I'm still alive? For all you know, my best work could be yet to come! I've got some really amazing plans for our nation, and it'd be a shame for you to have to come along and re-write my biography in a year or so, wouldn't it? I tell you what, I'll start keeping a diary from today onward, and after my death you can publish it. How about that?" you state, carefully crossing your fingers behind your back.
[effect] bookshops and publishers await @@LEADER@@'s death with baited breath

Option seven: "Well my child" you muse, patiently whilst placing a bookmark in a holy text. "It was not so much that I chose to lead our nation, it was more of a holy calling. An epiphany. Before my rule, @@RELIGION@@ was in a sorry state in our country. Our people had turned from the light to a path of darkness and sin. We still have far to go before those worldly temptations that would woo us from the path of righteousness are removed at last from our fine nation, but rejoice! I have great plans for the future of our country"
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography is often filed under religious texts in bookshops
valid if: High religiousity and national religion.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Interesting premise...

I am wondering what will happen to the effect lines, and more importantly, to the stats.

Also there must definitely be a crazy option where one of his/her advisors reminds @@LEADER@@ that a biography can never ever be complete unless the person in question is dead, because they keep living and making momentous decisions that deserve to be mentioned in a biography. Based on this reasoning, the speaker could suggest that @@LEADER@@ dictates his diary to a writer every day, and the compilation of these diary entries will supposedly be published as a biography posthumously.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

(Capitalist option)

(Communist option)

(Green option)

(Please everyone/spin doctor option)

Yeah, this issue looks good to go, submit it when your'e ready.

[Caracasus]

(Capitalist option)

(Communist option)

(Green option)

(Please everyone/spin doctor option)

Yeah, this issue looks good to go, submit it when your'e ready.

Ha ha! Yeah, submitted just now. Joking of course - I left the options deliberately blank as I didn't want to put a tonne of work into something that wouldn't fly. I think it might now...

Interesting premise...

I am wondering what will happen to the effect lines, and more importantly, to the stats.

Also there must definitely be a crazy option where one of his/her advisors reminds @@LEADER@@ that a biography can never ever be complete unless the person in question is dead, because they keep living and making momentous decisions that deserve to be mentioned in a biography. Based on this reasoning, the speaker could suggest that @@LEADER@@ dictates his diary to a writer every day, and the compilation of these diary entries will supposedly be published as a biography posthumously.

Nice! Added as a "get out" clause that's a bit funner than just "dismiss". I'm thinking that the stats would be negligible for this - it is after all only a biography.

EDIT: I know that 8 options is a very high number, but bear in mind that many require special circumstances in your nation. As I reckon it, a democratic, militaristic and highly religious capitalist nation might get 7 options. Most nations, I would imagine would get 3-4.

The minimum would be 3 options as options 5 and 6 are open to all and every nation would get either the capitalist or communist option. I've also left all but one of them deliberately vague as to whether you're running a democracy or dictatorship, bar the option 4 of course where you're a grassroots protester/campaigner.

[Australian rePublic]

Interesting premise, but this wouldn't work in a monarchy.

Also, how would this be possible? Isn't an issue supposed to be from the perspective of different speakers? As opposed to the various alternative narratives? I mean, only one could be correct

[Caracasus]

Interesting premise, but this wouldn't work in a monarchy.

Also, how would this be possible? Isn't an issue supposed to be from the perspective of different speakers? As opposed to the various alternative narratives? I mean, only one could be correct

Quite right about the monarchy thing - is there a tracker for that?

Hmm - well the idea is that you're responsible for picking your leader's voice. It's something I've been toying with for a while - the perspective is you - your choice. I'm basically playing silly buggers with convention Aussie. It might work, it might not. We'll see

[Australian rePublic]

Interesting premise, but this wouldn't work in a monarchy.

Also, how would this be possible? Isn't an issue supposed to be from the perspective of different speakers? As opposed to the various alternative narratives? I mean, only one could be correct

Quite right about the monarchy thing - is there a tracker for that?

Maybe someone who goes through the backdoor may know

Hmm - well the idea is that you're responsible for picking your leader's voice. It's something I've been toying with for a while - the perspective is you - your choice. I'm basically playing silly buggers with convention Aussie. It might work, it might not. We'll see

Very interesting perspecitve indeed

[Caracasus]

I hope so... I want to get this right. One of the things about playing silly buggers with convention is that you have to be able to produce something decent from it.

[Caracasus]

Bump. Thoughts?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I like the idea of an issue about Leader's Biography.

I strongly dislike the structure you've gone for here. While I very much appreciate experimentation with narratives, you're literally putting words into Leader's mouth with this issue, and that completely clashes with player autonomy.

My own approach to this topic would probably be something more like:

setup: Official biography being proposed, and a selection of authors want to work with you.
options:
9-10 options, some with validity criteria.
Each option has a proposed book title spoofing a real poltiical book of note, then an appropriately named author, is 1 to 2 lines, and is clear from the title and the text what the leanings of the biography would be.

For example:

[option]"We'd call it '@@LEADER@@ - My Struggle'," suggests author Josie Goballs, saluting you. "It'd be about how you realised that immigrants are ruining the country, and what you're going to do about it! Your final solution, if you will."

Completely different approach, of course. I'm just observing that this would be how I would approach an issue about Leader's biography.

[Caracasus]

Yup - agreed Candlewhisper...

Okay, put the bare bones together now. 9 options, which of course not everyone will get... Any more areas/ideas?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

A good start. List issues generally should aim for really short options - 2 lines ideally, just over 2 lines if you can't quite get everything in.

[Tinhampton]

[effect] @@LEADER@@'s biography

Yep, definitely a complete and good-to-go issue effect there /sarcasm

[Caracasus]

Ha ha! Yes, I finished that sentence in my head. Have yet to finish it on paper....

Trust me, in my head it's the best effect line EVER.

[Caracasus]

Right. A few more to trim down. Suggestions?

[Caracasus]

OK. Finally got them ALL down to under 2 lines. Changed some effects around etc. What do folks think? My eyes are tired so I'll give it a once over later but if anyone spots anything glaringly out of place...

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Well, I generally don't comment editor's issues in GI anymore, and now you've become staff will leave it to you and the player community.

Submit it and put it in the staff folder when you think it's finished basically, and if/when anyone edits it, we can demolish it at that time.

Also, be prepared for Aussie Republic to wish you luck, even though you're now guaranteed non-deletion.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Well, I generally don't comment editor's issues in GI anymore, and now you've become staff will leave it to you and the player community.

Submit it and put it in the staff folder when you think it's finished basically, and if/when anyone edits it, we can demolish it at that time.

Also, be prepared for Aussie Republic to wish you luck, even though you're now guaranteed non-deletion.

I am guessing the luck-wishing part would come only after Caracasus officially declares that he has submitted the issue.

[The Atlae Isles]

I'm a bit disappointed that it's not valid for monarchies, especially since I won't get the issue.

Why don't you add an issue about a posh, royal monarchy book that's only loved by children?

[Caracasus]

I'm a bit disappointed that it's not valid for monarchies, especially since I won't get the issue.

Why don't you add an issue about a posh, royal monarchy book that's only loved by children?

Yes! It can be done now and there is a princess Diana joke in there...

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I'm liking how this has turned out.

I think while 10 options is totally okay, there should be liberal use of option validities, with an intention of having most nations have 5 or so options, no nation have more than 7 options, and no nation less than 3 options. Will leave you to figure out the math of that.

(Yeah, couldn't resist commenting)