[Draft] Piracy On The High Trees

[Ransium]

[title] Piracy On The High Trees

[desc] Both a popular ornamental and a prized source of lumber, the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ cherry tree, has spiked in value due to @@NAME@@"s recent bespoke furniture craze. Coincidentally, there has also been a spike in bandit lumberjacks surreptitiously stealing shade trees from residences in the middle of the night.

[validity] nation must recognize private property

[option] "The streets are filled with chainsaws right now and it's frankly disgusting," growls gruff detective @@randomname@@, while photographing a branch from a fresh crime scene. "The other day I saw a bunch of chaps-wearing gangbangers walking to the park, each one chainsaw in hand, and I couldn't do anything. Create a chainsaw registry, linking each saw owner to a chainsaw's unique wear patterns, and I promise you we'll have this crime wave licked faster than you can say timber."
[effect]CSI Timber is this year's hit new crime show

[option] "Willful waste, makes woeful want," chides noted carpenter @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We already have plenty of perfectly good furniture in @@NAME@@, we just need to revitalize the art of furniture restoration. The government should sponsor furniture restoration classes and subsidize the sale of refurbished furniture. It'll reduce the demand for timber, which will both decrease theft and use fewer resources. Oh, and one more little thing, how about you ban the manufacture of new furniture, too."
[effect]furniture is never on its last leg just in need of replacement legs

[option_valid_if] nation is capitalist
[option]"The problem, I'm afraid, is capitalism" declares @@randomname@@, a noted socialist thinker. "If we just nationalized the ownership of all trees there'd be no question as to which trees were harvested legally since only the government could harvest trees. Furthermore, we'd be assured that all the forestry in @@NAME@@ is sustainable because we'd be the ones doing it. Who else can @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ possibly trust to handle these important matters besides the government?"
[effect]if a tree falls in the forest @@leader@@ is personally notified

[option_valid_if] nation is not capitalist
[option]"The problem, I'm afraid, is a lack of capitalism" declares @@randomname@@, a noted capitalist thinker. "Government control of the timber market has left there to be too much pent-up demand. If we privatized the timber industry the invisible hand would find the proper price, which would dry up the black market that is driving this theft. Actually the same could be said for most of @@NAME@@'s industries."
[effect] newly-privatized lumberjacks are clearcutting the forest to meet demand

[option]"Wha' be th' problem?" ask notorious logger, Captain Black Chainsaw, who, after losing a hand in a rumored chainsaw duel, had it replaced with a handsaw. "We... er... Th' pirate loggers are jus' usin' a valuable resource that those homeowners were wastin' as shade trees. Once trees get t' a merchantable size, anyone best be able t' log them no matter whose land they be on. 'N if anyone disagrees I'll send them t' Davy Jones' locker!"
[effect]the trees that line @@NAME@@'s capital building are being harvested for timber

[Trotterdam]

bespoke

Well, I learned a new word today.

[validity] nation must recognize private property

[option_valid_if] nation is communist

[option_valid_if] nation is capitalist

Hmm?

I guess private enterprise and private property are different things, but does NationStates actually have the finesse to recognize the difference?

I don't recall any issues that allow you to completely abolish private property separately from getting rid of private industry (there's that issue about eminent domain, but the implication is that even with eminent domain you're still allowing people to have property until you feel like nabbing it).

Side note, is [option_valid_if] the official format we should be using in issue submissions now?

"Not only are they abating the law breaking lumberjacks, but worse they must be running a capitalist black market side-business."

You mean abetting, not abating.

"Law-breaking" should be hyphenated, while "side business" should not.

"We need to run a sting operation to root out who's doing this and then hang everyone involved as a warning to others that might also slip into these evil and materialistic ways."

I don't see how this is different from the previous option, aside from the harsher punishment. Both are "give more money to law enforcement so they can track down the perpetrators".

precarious eight-year-old Kevin McCulkin

Although "precarious" is a word that might reasonably decribe this situation, I think you mean "precocious".

who's parents seems to have left him home alone.

Should be "whose".

[option]"This wouldn't happen if we just nationalized the ownership of all trees," declares @@randomname@@, a noted socialist thinker. "There'd be no question as to which trees were harvested legally, since only the government could harvest trees. Furthermore, we'd be assured that all the forestry in @@NAME@@ is sustainable, because we'd be the ones doing it. Who else can @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ possibly trust to handle these important matters besides the government?"

So, the option that only appears for capitalists says that you should switch to communism.

The option that only appears for communists says that you should keep communism.

I don't think this is balanced. Especially when their texts are completely different rather than being variants of the same option.

"Once trees get t' a merchantable size, anyone best be able t' log them no matter who's land they be on."

And another one that should be "whose", though I guess this speaker just likes using apostrophes.

"'N if anyone disagrees I'll send them t' davy jones locker!"

I think that's supposed to be "Davy Jones' locker", since it's supposed to sound like a real name.

Though it's typically used as an idiom for the bottom of the sea, which is an appropiate invocation for a real pirate, but of somewhat dubious relevance to lumberjacking.

[Drasnia]

Side note, is [option_valid_if] the official format we should be using in issue submissions now?

As someone who's seen the editor syntax, it's not. Really, it would be nice if we used the same format as they. I don't even know why we have to use different macros and such.

[Ransium]

Hmm?

I guess private enterprise and private property are different things, but does NationStates actually have the finesse to recognize the difference?

I don't recall any issues that allow you to completely abolish private property separately from getting rid of private industry (there's that issue about eminent domain, but the implication is that even with eminent domain you're still allowing people to have property until you feel like nabbing it).

Side note, is [option_valid_if] the official format we should be using in issue submissions now?

I don't really think I can answer most of those questions. I have some way of implementing the validity in mind. If future issues wanted to use a similar validity they could, but I'm sure a ton of issue in the cannon now reference private property without making that assumption.

It's really hard for me to go back and forth between editor macros and what you guys use. Don't take formatting notes from me.

I don't see how this is different from the previous option, aside from the harsher punishment. Both are "give more money to law enforcement so they can track down the perpetrators".

So, the option that only appears for capitalists says that you should switch to communism.

The option that only appears for communists says that you should keep communism.

I don't think this is balanced. Especially when their texts are completely different rather than being variants of the same option.

I think these are valid criticisms. I was more drawn to this issue by the dilemma rather than the clever solutions I had for it. I'll think more about those options.

Although "precarious" is a word that might reasonably decribe this situation, I think you mean "precocious".

Ha, funny typo.

I think that's supposed to be "Davy Jones' locker", since it's supposed to sound like a real name.

Though it's typically used as an idiom for the bottom of the sea, which is an appropiate invocation for a real pirate, but of somewhat dubious relevance to lumberjacking.

Yeah, he's a silly character, and I threw that Davy Jones bit in last minute. I guess I'll keep it for now, but I'd definitely be open to other suggestions.

[Trotterdam]

I think these are valid criticisms. I was more drawn to this issue by the dilemma rather than the clever solutions I had for it. I'll think more about those options.

That would explain it. I did feel something was off about the option spread overall, but I didn't want to say it because I didn't have any better suggestions.

I think the real problem is that the options are simple "crack down on crime, allow self-defense, let it be" variations that have nothing to do with trees. You could make the issue about any crime whatsoever and nearly the same option spread would still apply.

For that matter, we almost certainly already have similar issues about other crimes.

[Ransium]

I think these are valid criticisms. I was more drawn to this issue by the dilemma rather than the clever solutions I had for it. I'll think more about those options.

That would explain it. I did feel something was off about the option spread overall, but I didn't want to say it because I didn't have any better suggestions.

I think the real problem is that the options are simple "crack down on crime, allow self-defense, let it be" variations that have nothing to do with trees. You could make the issue about any crime whatsoever and nearly the same option spread would still apply.

For that matter, we almost certainly already have similar issues about other crimes.

Well if anyone can make this about the actual damn trees it should be me, right? I have some ideas, but I need to think about it more.

[Australian rePublic]

I see that the options for both capitalist and communist nations are anti-capitalism. Well, okay then

[Trotterdam]

One thing I'd wondered: Why is this wood so rare that people are having to resort to chopping down ornamental trees to obtain it? Are no proper logging operations planting this kind of tree?

If there were enough wood on the market then I doubt stealing a tree here or there would be worthwhile. Conversely, you could also just ban this type of wood and require all furniture to be make of trees that are common enough you won't miss a few.

[Ransium]

Finally got around to re-jiggering the options to make them more tree-oriented. Let me know what you guys think of the new option spread.

[Trotterdam]

a bunch of chap wearing gang bangers

Okay, first I interprested this as "chap" being a slang term for "man" (but you have a bunch of them, so it should be plural), and "gangbanger" being some weird type of clothing, in which case it should be "a bunch of chaps wearing gangbangers".

On checking a dictionary, however, you're actually using "chaps" as a type of clothing (which apparently doesn't even exist in the singular), and "gangbanger" as a type of person, in which case it should be "a bunch of chaps-wearing gangbangers".

Punctuation. It's important.

"Create a chainsaw registry, linking each saw owner to a chainsaws unique wear patterns and I promise you we'll have this crime wave licked faster than you can say timber."

"Chainsaw's", and you need a comma before "and". (This isn't a serial comma, but you still need it.) Probably also a good idea to put quotes around 'timber'.

My immediate thought is what about old-fashioned handsaws? Or axes? Chainsaws make lumberjacking easier, which I suppose is useful if you want to hurry up and abscond with the tree before the rightful owners notice you in their yard (then again, most chainsaws aren't exactly quiet), but people were using lots of wood before we had 'em.

[option]"Willful waste, makes woeful want," chides noted carpenter @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We already have plenty of pefectly good furniture in @@NAME@@, we just need to revitlize the art of furniture restoration."

Yes! An option that has a logical reason for mentioning and affecting an obscure industry! We need more of that.

Unfortunately, I'll have to interrupt the good cheer with "revitalize".

"The goverment should sponsor furniture restoration classes and susdise the sale of refurbished furniture. It'll reduce the demand for timber, which will both decrease theft and use less resources."
[effect]furniture is never on it's last leg just in need of replacment legs

Also, "subsidize" and "its".

Normal writing guidelines would recommend a comma between "leg" and "just", but I know you're omitting that because of the special needs of NS effect lines.

"Government control of timber market has left there to be too much pent up demand."

I think that should be "the timber market", and I'm sure that should be "pent-up".

"If we nationalized the timber industry the invisible hand would find the proper price, and supply and demand levels and put a stop to this theft."

I'm not even sure what you're trying to say here. Are supply and demand levels part of the things being found, or part of the things helping you find it? Either way, you need to at least reshuffle your commas.

[effect] newly privatized lumberjacks are clearcutting the forest to meet demand

While I'm dumping a load of hyphens on you anyway, make that "newly-privatized".

Finally got around to re-jiggering the options to make them more tree-oriented. Let me know what you guys think of the new option spread.

Much better!

[Ransium]

Fixed those and a few other typos as my spell checker seemed to have turned itself off or something.

Probably also a good idea to put quotes around 'timber'.

I didn't like how that looked with the quotation ending on timber as well.

My immediate thought is what about old-fashioned handsaws? Or axes? Chainsaws make lumberjacking easier, which I suppose is useful if you want to hurry up and abscond with the tree before the rightful owners notice you in their yard (then again, most chainsaws aren't exactly quiet), but people were using lots of wood before we had 'em.

Are you saying we shouldn't have a gun registry because people will just start using knives? Your welcome to America anytime!

[Trotterdam]

Are you saying we shouldn't have a gun registry because people will just start using knives? You're welcome to America anytime!

Haha, fair enough.

---

Still, while I like the furniture restoration option, I'm worried it might be a little too good. The other options are switching to capitalism/communism (the arguments are reasonable, but players will only rarely make such a major switch, most of them will already have decided where they stand on that), legalizing theft, or mandatory registration of chainsaws. The last of these is the most reasonable after the furniture restoration option, but it still has the ring of an "NS crazy" option.

[Ransium]

Fair enough, made 2 less desirable.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

[title] Piracy On The High Trees

[desc] Both a popular ornamental and a prized source of lumber, the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ cherry tree, has spiked in value due to @@NAME@@"s recent bespoke furniture craze. Coincidentally, there has also been a spike in bandit lumberjacks surreptitiously stealing shade trees from residences in the middle of the night.

[validity] nation must recognize private property

[option] "The streets are filled with chainsaws right now and it's frankly disgusting," growls gruff detective @@randomname@@, while photographing a branch from a fresh crime scene. "The other day I saw a bunch of chaps-wearing gangbangers walking to the park, each one chainsaw in hand, and I couldn't do anything. Create a chainsaw registry, linking each saw owner to a chainsaw's unique wear patterns, and I promise you we'll have this crime wave licked faster than you can say timber."
[effect]CSI Timber is this year's hit new crime show

[option] "Willful waste, makes woeful want," chides noted carpenter @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We already have plenty of perfectly good furniture in @@NAME@@, we just need to revitalize the art of furniture restoration. The government should sponsor furniture restoration classes and subsidize the sale of refurbished furniture. It'll reduce the demand for timber, which will both decrease theft and use fewer resources. Oh, and one more little thing, how about you ban the manufacture of new furniture, too."
[effect]furniture is never on its last leg just in need of replacement legs

[option_valid_if] nation is capitalist
[option]"The problem, I'm afraid, is capitalism" declares @@randomname@@, a noted socialist thinker. "If we just nationalized the ownership of all trees there'd be no question as to which trees were harvested legally since only the government could harvest trees. Furthermore, we'd be assured that all the forestry in @@NAME@@ is sustainable because we'd be the ones doing it. Who else can @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ possibly trust to handle these important matters besides the government?"
[effect]if a tree falls in the forest @@leader@@ is personally notified

[option_valid_if] nation is not capitalist
[option]"The problem, I'm afraid, is a lack of capitalism" declares @@randomname@@, a noted capitalist thinker. "Government control of the timber market has left there to be too much pent-up demand. If we nationalized the timber industry the invisible hand would find the proper price, which would dry up the black market that is driving this theft. Actually the same could be said for most of @@NAME@@'s industries."
[effect] newly-privatized lumberjacks are clearcutting the forest to meet demand

[option]"Wha' be th' problem?" ask notorious logger, Captain Black Chainsaw, who, after losing a hand in a rumored chainsaw duel, had it replaced with a handsaw. "We... er... Th' pirate loggers are jus' usin' a valuable resource that those homeowners were wastin' as shade trees. Once trees get t' a merchantable size, anyone best be able t' log them no matter whose land they be on. 'N if anyone disagrees I'll send them t' Davy Jones' locker!"
[effect]the trees that line @@NAME@@'s capital building are being harvested for timber

Nice issue I am sorry that I didn't have the opportunity to comment on this before. Here are some of my suggestions which you may or may not act upon

1. In option 2, would it be possible for the person to suggest that wooden furniture be banned altogether and replaced with plastic? One could give several arguments for that, like plastice being cheaper, safer for children (no splinters, no heavy parts), and it seems like the option could then be presented as a pro-environment option (save the trees!) that is actually insidiously anti-environment (boost plastic production!).

2. In option 4, you wrote "if we nationalized the timber industry..." According to the context, it should be "if we privatized..."

3. Would it be a lame joke if you named the guy in Option 5 "Edward Chainsawhands"?

[Ransium]

1. In option 2, would it be possible for the person to suggest that wooden furniture be banned altogether and replaced with plastic? One could give several arguments for that, like plastice being cheaper, safer for children (no splinters, no heavy parts), and it seems like the option could then be presented as a pro-environment option (save the trees!) that is actually insidiously anti-environment (boost plastic production!).

I rather like the call out to our rather specific furniture restoration industry category.

2. In option 4, you wrote, "if we nationalized the timber industry..." According to the context, it should be "if we privatized..."

Good eye.

3. Would it be a lame joke if you named the guy in Option 5 "Edward Chainsawhands"?

Since he's a pirate, I don't think that reference works.