by Thyerata » Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:15 pm
by New Axiom » Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:20 pm
Zakuvia wrote:If you aren't imagining a chain gang of adorable old retirees building a wall with Fixodent and using their Hoverounds as tow trucks then you're not the NS I remember.
by Thyerata » Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:27 pm
New Axiom wrote:Sounds neat, but you still need to put in the effect it will have on your nation, for example, option 1:
Airliners in @@NATION@@ are constantly over the weight limit.
Effect:
Tourism drops
Or something like that.
by USS Monitor » Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:36 pm
by Thyerata » Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:00 pm
USS Monitor wrote:The text of the effect line (e.g. "Planes are full of passengers sitting on each others' knees, or in the toilets.") should be a separate line from the stat effects (e.g. tourism drops).
You're not the only person to try writing an issue based on that United Airlines incident, but I don't think we've published one yet, and your writing is OK, so go ahead with this anyway.
Option 2 should be more specific about what happens when people are kicked off. Are you saying they can be kicked off without compensation? You should clarify so it's more obvious how this option differs from option 3.
by Australian rePublic » Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:17 pm
by Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Apr 21, 2017 2:39 am
by Thyerata » Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:02 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Don't know what it is about this topic, but the last few weeks have seen no less than five separate drafts based on the same news story, each clearly with no plagiarism from the others, and massively varying in quality.
I've deleted four of them and kept the best one in the Pool.
Nothing to stop you submitting another issue on this topic, and it could displace the existing one, but just to let you know that you'd be in direct competition with it.
On the upside, I think you're the only one to have used Got Issues for drafting, which will definitely help you gain the edge. Also, your draft is already as good as the one in the pool. Make it slightly funnier and sharper, and it'll definitely be the one we choose.
[opt] "Why do we even have airplanes in the first place?" asks @@NAME@@, waving a "Plane Stupid" banner. "Airplanes are noisy, and sometimes they break down or the flights are cancelled for any old reason. I say we should get rid of airplanes and invest in public transport...or domestic @@ANIMAL@@s and teach people to ride them
[effect] People can be seen riding around on @@ANIMAL@@s
Aviation industry is abolished
by USS Monitor » Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:21 am
by Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:22 am
by Thyerata » Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:34 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Wrong approach, I think. It's fine (but not required) to have an airplane banning options, but what I meant was taking your existing three options (which are solid, well written and informationally complete) and making them funnier.
Your first effect line is a good example of this, as you've conjured an amusing mental image of passengers on each other's laps. The other effect lines should be as good as that one.
Maybe in the options themselves, you could try to make the speakers more characterful, having them act or appear in an apposite or ironic way, or making their speech more over the top and individualised. Or, just go for more funny mental images.
For example in one, you could have the speaker demanding to see you even though he was told you didn't have an appointment slot free. In option 2, the chief operations officer could be doing something suitably greedy, like helping himself to a complementary coffee AND a complementary tea, just in case.
Doesn't have to be those exact things, just add some more whimsy here and there.
About macros: @@NAME@@ means the name of the country. @@RANDOMNAME@@ is a random name for a person
by Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Apr 21, 2017 4:13 am
by Thyerata » Fri Apr 21, 2017 4:22 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:You're not to know this, but people barging into @@LEADER@@'s office is such a done thing that the editing team consider it a #1 awful cliche, up there with slamming fists on desks and saying to think of the children. Is there another approach you can use?
[opt] "But we do plan!" sputters @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chief Operations Officer of the involved airline, who strides into your office, completely disregarding the fact that you can only be seen by appointment, and there were no appointments today . "It's just that this time, we suddenly had an influx of passengers, which isn't normal, because studies show that some people will book a flight, but won't turn up. I say that we should be allowed to throw passengers off the plane if we have to. Oh, and it's their fault for trying to get on a full plane, so they should have to live with it. Security seem to agree with him, as they literally throw him into the street
by Candlewhisper Archive » Sat Apr 22, 2017 12:46 am
by Australian rePublic » Sat Apr 22, 2017 12:49 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:You're not to know this, but people barging into @@LEADER@@'s office is such a done thing that the editing team consider it a #1 awful cliche, up there with slamming fists on desks and saying to think of the children. Is there another approach you can use?
by Candlewhisper Archive » Sat Apr 22, 2017 1:07 am
Australian Republic wrote:Anyway back to the issue. The title made me think this was about cross dressing. I like how it through off my expectations. Brilliant!
by Thyerata » Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:02 pm
by Thyerata » Tue Aug 08, 2017 6:15 am
by Bears Armed Mission » Tue Aug 08, 2017 6:31 am
Thyerata wrote:After a couple of months, this has been accepted! It's currently undergoing some editing, but should go live soon
by Jutsa » Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:17 am
by Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:59 am
Thyerata wrote:After a couple of months, this has been accepted! It's currently undergoing some editing, but should go live soon
by Australian rePublic » Wed Aug 09, 2017 11:29 pm
by Trotterdam » Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:23 am
by Thyerata » Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:05 am
Trotterdam wrote:I think this issue is in the game for real now. I've already seen two effect lines, although they're different from the ones in the draft.
by Ransium » Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:08 am
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