Issue: Recently while digging a fire pit during a camping trip to the far jungle regions of @@NAME@@, a group of college students stumbled across a mass grave site determined to originate from several millennia ago. Various different groups now debate as to the proper treatment of the remains, and are coming to you to stake their claim.
Choice: “These bones belonged to my ancestors! Or…at least we called dibs first!” Shouts local Native @@DEMONYM@@ Representative, @@RANDOMNAME@@, close enough that you can feel the spittle flying from @@HIS@@ lips. “We deserve, no we have the RIGHT to take these remains back to our home in order to bury them where we are pretty sure they probably would have wanted…we think. You owe it to us!”
Result: Calling dibs is now an unalienable right.
Effects: Civil rights increases, eco-friendliness increases a little bit, intelligence decreases, religiousness increases.
Choice: “You can’t seriously consider giving up such valuable information, can you?” glares @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@’s top paleoanthropologist. “The information from these remains is invaluable, we already know little enough about how we got here as it is! Plus, in a nation of @@POPULATION@@, we can’t even be sure that these remains actually are Native @@DEMONYM@@! Let us put these bones to the test so to speak, and place our national knowledge first. Sure the bones will be destroyed in the process, but that’s a small sacrifice for learning about our origins.”
Result: Graveyards nationwide are bulldozed and dug up in the name of scientific progress.
Effects: Intelligence increases, education increases a little bit, civil rights decrease, environmental beauty decreases a little bit.
Choice: “Bury them!? DESTROY THEM!? You can’t let these travesties occur!” Yelps @@RANDOMNAME@@, a local museum curator. “These bones are in pristine condition and deserve to be seen by the public! Imagine the revenue and tourism that would be brought in if you allowed me to display these bones, bared for all to see! Who cares if it upsets some know-it-alls or sensitive whiny descendants? This is preservation! This is money!”
Result: Funeral homes now exclusively sell glass coffins for the purpose of direct shipment to corporate owned museums.
Effects: Tourism increases, revenue increases, average income increases, private industry increases, economy increases, charmlessness increases, corruption increases
Choice: “Hey, what’s the big idea trying to pick and choose who gets what?” states dedicated graduate student @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ barges in, followed closely by @@HIS@@ peers. “We found those bones, so we should get to take them for ourselves! Finders keepers, isn’t that what we all learned in Kindergarten? What we do with them should be irrelevant, not to mention they’d make for a pretty nice personal collection. Plus, I really need to pass my thesis due next week, I’m running out of time and this would make for a fantastic subject!”
Result: Having skeletons in one’s closet is no longer just a macabre idiom.
Effects: Education increases, corruption increases, crime increases.
