[Draft] The Fastest Milkman in @@NATIONNAME@@

[Australian rePublic]

[quote="Candlewhisper Archive";p="31351446]. The core premise here - that of job creation for the hell of it - basically isn't a reason to over-ride the free market in any way, as if you're going to create government-funded jobs for the sake of unemployment, wouldn't you create jobs that benefit society? (cleaning, nursing, teaching assistants, childcare, whatever).

Rather what you need here is:

Premise: A reason why milk delivery is being discussed as desirable. Not "unemployment", as that's a dumb reason to bring back milk floats. Rather, as its economically irrational concept, go with something irrational and emotive. [/quote]
Oh, I don't know. Governments tend to be known for their hare-brain schemes

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Oh, I don't know. Governments tend to be known for their hare-brain schemes

Correction: Governments are known for hare-brained schemes that are inappropriate reactions to something that they've misunderstood or misread.

For example. Trump didn't just go "I like walls because I like bricks. Let's build a wall." He went "I saw on Fox News that Mexican immigrants are a problem... let's build a wall!"

The chain of logic doesn't have to be sound or rational, but the line of the narrative has to be continuous and believable.

[Tzarsgrad]

Tell me what you think of this. I strayed away from some of your suggestions because I really like some of my original elements, but I can certainly edit out what flat out does not work.

Title: The Fastest Milkman in @@NATIONNAME@@

Validity: Nation has a sizeable dairy/soda bottling industry, moderate amount of culture, and decent tech level

Description: With the recent surge in popularity from the breakout sitcom "The Fastest Milkman in @@NATIONNAME@@ on digital streaming service Webflix, many citizens of @@NATIONNAME@@ are calling for a return to the old days like those from the program, where milk and other such goods were delivered by a neighborhood milkman in their trusty milk floats.

Option 1: "This is gonna be great!" exclaims twenty-five year old superfan @@NAME@@, dressed in a perfect replica uniform of main character Hernie @@LASTNAME@@ of the show. "This is gonna bring people back to an era when they could leave their doors unlocked, and people really talked to each other in their communities. Just think: milk, eggs, cream, cheese, butter, yogurt or even soft drinks could be brought right to their door! Plus, with all of these recyclable glass bottles and battery powered floats, there's got to be some advantage compared to wasteful plastic and smelly trucks. Just some subsidization from the government for companies to make this a reality, and we're set!"

Fallout: An increasing number of children in @@NATIONNAME@@ have different eye and hair color than their fathers.
Variables: Increased health, increased taxes, increased niceness, increased culture, slightly increased primitivism, and decreased dairy or soda bottling industries

Option 2: "Do I even need to say how ridiculous that sounds?" says CEO @@NAME@@ of Orden Dairy Milk, Creams, Dips, Cottage Cheese and Other Grocery Goods. "Not even taking into account how the milk could spoil on people's doorsteps, we don't live in those days any more, regardless of how nostalgic we feel. The reality is is that we live in a modern world with a modern economy. People can come to a grocery store if they need milk. Speaking of which, we might have just the thing to help out with that pesky shelf life problem. Tell me, @@LEADER@@, what do you know about synthetic proteins?"

Fallout: Mothers complain that their children have begun growing extra limbs after consuming newer varieties of milk.
Variables: Increased scientific advancement, increased dairy and soda bottling industries, decreased health

Option 3: “Yes, well,” interrupts your Minister of Secretary for Health and Human Services @@NAME@@ as they finish off a bottle of heavy cream and wipe their mouth. “That’s all very well and good, but back to the original idea; why stop at subsidies? Couldn’t this alienate the poor, just as privatized garbage collectors or electricity? I say we nationalize these dairy delivery services and go even further in this direction. Tax the big businesses for their wasteful plastics! Surely this is the way to ensure that every child gets the calcium that they need.” They open up another bottle after they finish speaking.

Fallout: Citizens remark that the eggs for their birthday cakes often arrive weeks after the big day.
Variables: Magnified version of option one, increased government size, increased public sector

Option 4: “Bah, all of this nonsense about milk has curdled my stomach,” says angry elderly man and famed dairyphobe @@NAME@@. “I say we put warnings on the stuff like a bottle of booze or carton of cigarettes just to people know how dangerous the stuff really is. Maybe then they’ll come to their senses and abandon the devil’s springwater.”

Fallout: Students often engage at underground “milk parties” at their parents’ disapproval.
Variables: Decrease in dairy and soda bottling, decrease in happiness, increase in rudeness

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Looks excellent. The only thing I'd suggest now is more brevity: take a look at each option and effect, and see if you can retain the same information and humour with 30% fewer words.

Achieve that, and you're on a winner.

[Tzarsgrad]

Looks excellent. The only thing I'd suggest now is more brevity: take a look at each option and effect, and see if you can retain the same information and humour with 30% fewer words.

Achieve that, and you're on a winner.

Resubmitted, with some fat trimmed off for good measure, as you suggested.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Much better. Good writing there.

[Tzarsgrad]

Much better. Good writing there.

Thank you very much. And thank you for the help with the writing also, I've been playing this game for a while now and even though I've written one, writing an issue for it has always seemed so special to me.

[Tinhampton]

This issue has been accepted as Issue #714 "Milky Ways". Congratulations, Tzarsgrad!

[Australian rePublic]

Is the effect for option because they're having an affair with the milkman? Because, that's too vague

[Bears Armed]

Is the effect for option because they're having an affair with the milkman? Because, that's too vague

In RL there was an an old joke, or even allegation, about such affairs.