[DRAFT] Murderous Dog Rampage!! Help!!

[Dytarma]

[Title] Murderous Dog Rampage!! Help!!

[Desc] After a recent video had been previously released on Whotube, a popular video sharing website, showed a large hound with no leash attacking and mauling to death a much smaller pup, with the smaller animal being on its leash with two grandparents. The incident caused a lot of people to be outraged towards the owner of the big hound, and both the small and large dog owners have come to you to discuss the problem, not just for them, but also for others who have the same problem.

[Option] “M-my baby!” Sobs @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, as @@SHE@@ is grabbing a tissue. “I was just walking my dog, and then out of nowhere, I see this, monstrous, horrible thing that I’m ashamed to call a man's best friend. It mauled my little puppy to the point where I hardly recognized it, and I had to carry it all the way to the vet, and it was already too late. It’s just.. just..” She continues to cry as her husband steps in. “We need to get rid of those hideous monsters; Who knows, they might attack us humans next. How you get rid of them, I don't care about that.”

[Effect] large dogs often get forcefully injected with very lethal poison.

[Option] “Now hold on here, it’s not the hound’s fault he mauled that other dog.” Say the large dog’s owner, @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ is feeding @@HIS@@ canine dog-flavored food. “It’s mine. I should’ve been more responsible and had tied up my dog to a fence post or something, but instead, I decided to leave him untied, and he then went off to kill that pup! Please, make sure people like me can’t own pets of any sort, for other dogs’ protection! And let's be honest, it's their fault for having their puppy be so small.”

[Effect] people wanting to own a pet are rejected due to low GPA.

[Option] “Maybe that hound was up to no good.” Exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a canine psychiatrist who brought you a picture of a small pup to keep on your desk. “I’ve had people whose dogs go up and strip off the living meat and bones of other animals. What’s even weirder is that the people are great pet owners! Maybe instead of having the people be tested on, we should have the dogs be tested by height and weight, and maybe even by having pictures of other animals surround them 24/7. We could also train them during the testing”

[Effect] dogs who fail the test and training often get shot to death or deported.

[The Atlae Isles]

[Title] Murderous Dog Rampage!! Help!!

[Description] After a recent video had been previously released on Whotube, a popular video sharing website, showed a large dog with no leash attacking and mauling to death a much smaller dog, with the smaller dog being on its leash with two grandparents. The incident caused a lot of people to be outraged towards the owner of the large dog, and both the small and large dog owners have come to you to discuss the problem, not just for them, but also for others just like their problem.

Right. This thing.

[Option] “M-my baby dog!” Sobs @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, as @@HE@@ is grabbings a tissue. “I was walking my dog, and then out of nowhere, I see this, monstrous thing that I’m ashamed to call a dog. It mauled my little puppy to the point where I hardly recognized it, and I had to carry it all the way to the vet, and it was already too late. It’s just.. just..” She continues to cry as her husband steps in. “We need to get rid of the monsters; I don’t care what you do with them.”

[Effect] large dogs are being shot to death en masse to protect small dogs.

Maybe all dogs who pass over a height/weight test are shot.

[Option] “Now hold on here, it’s not the dog’s fault he mauled that other dog.” Say the large dog’s owner, @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ is feeding @@HIS@@ dog dog-flavored food. “It’s mine. I should’ve been more responsible and had tied up my dog to a fence post or something, but instead, I decided to leave him untied, and he then went off to kill that pup! Please, make sure people like me can’t own pets of any sort, for other dogs’ protection!”

[Effect] dog owners are forced to take tests based on things relating to being humane.

The outcome doesn't really fit the option there. And I wouldn't assume that being guilty (in the wrong way, perhaps) would be the course of action there. Maybe "it's their fault for having the dog be so small"

[Option] “Maybe that dog was up to no good.” Exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a dog physiatristpsychiatrist who brought you a picture of a dog. “I’ve had people who'rewhose dogs go up and strip off the living meat and bones of other animals. What’s even weirder is that they are great pet owners! Maybe instead of having the people be tested on, we should have the dogs be tested on by having pictures of other animals surround them.”

[Effect] dogs who didn’t pass the test are sent out to be with wolfswolves.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Grab a thesaurus, and find some synonyms for dog.

[Dytarma]

Alright, I lessened the use of the word "dog", and made some other changes The Atlae Islands suggested. Do you guys have anything for Effect 2?

[Socio Polor]

Alright, I lessened the use of the word "dog", and made some other changes The Atlae Islands suggested. Do you guys have anything for Effect 2?

People wanting to own a pet are rejected due to low GPA.

An effect like that is both unexpected and exaggerated which is perfect

[Dytarma]

Alright, I am done with Effect 2. Anything else that needs editing?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Definitely. Let it sit for a bit, and I'll give it a full check through some time in the next week.

[Dytarma]

Alright, I can wait until then.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

[Title] Murderous Dog Rampage!! Help!!

Lots of workable titles you could use instead here:

Dog Eat Dog World
Dogged By Violence
Bite Worse Than Bark

[Description] After a recent video had been previously released on Whotube, a popular video sharing website, showed a large hound with no leash attacking and mauling to death a much smaller pup, with the smaller animal being on its leash with two grandparents. The incident caused a lot of people to be outraged towards the owner of the big hound, and both the small and large dog owners have come to you to discuss the problem, not just for them, but also for others who have the same problem.

Don't forget to get the coding right, yah? [desc] is what you want here.

I think the premise needs tightening a little, perhaps shortening by about 1 line to be more concise in its information.

[Option] “M-my baby puppy!” Sobs @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, as @@HE@@ is grabbing a tissue. “I was just walking my dog, and then out of nowhere, I see this, monstrous thing that I’m ashamed to call a man's best friend. It mauled my little puppy to the point where I hardly recognized it, and I had to carry it all the way to the vet, and it was already too late. It’s just.. just..” She continues to cry as her husband steps in. “We need to get rid of those hideous monsters; I don’t care what you do with them.”

There's not much information here. I suggest thinning down the fluff and repetition, and sneaking in some arguments as to why the bigger dogs need to be put down / regulated. Maybe something about "dangerous breeds that were historically bred for fighting and hunting" and "not appropriate as pets in an urban environment" and "I suspect they were being bred for illegal fighting pits". Basically do some research on why people are against big / dangerous dogs, and parrot back their chosen arguments/prejudices.

[Effect] dogs who fail the height and weight test often get shot to death or deported.

Not very interesting. That's just a statement of the decision. Give us a consequence instead, using imagination to go one step further. A load of dogs are being put down. What funny thing could result from this? Kebab vans get a glut of meat? Some sort of more than one way to skin a dog joke? They're probably a bit tasteless, but you get the idea: don't describe the decision, describe a consequence.

[Option] “Now hold on here, it’s not the hound’s fault he mauled that other dog.” Say the large dog’s owner, @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ is feeding @@HIS@@ canine dog-flavored food. “It’s mine. I should’ve been more responsible and had tied up my dog to a fence post or something, but instead, I decided to leave him untied, and he then went off to kill that pup! Please, make sure people like me can’t own pets of any sort, for other dogs’ protection! And let's be honest, it's their fault for having their puppy be so small.”

This option completely doesn't work. Who can believe that an owner of a big dog would call for his own right to owb a dog to be curtailed? Have the person aiming the blame be a breeder of big dogs who is treating them like babies. For example 'says pitbull terrier breeder @@randomname@@ as @@HE@@ shows @@HIS@@ toddler the best way to clean @@HIS@@ dog's teeth.'

[Effect] people wanting to own a pet are rejected due to low GPA.

GPA is very much an Americanism. While the concept exists in other countries, its not really a recognisable abbreviation.

[Option] “Maybe that hound was up to no good.” Exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a canine psychiatrist who brought you a picture of a small pup to keep on your desk. “I’ve had people whose dogs go up and strip off the living meat and bones of other animals. What’s even weirder is that the people are great pet owners! Maybe instead of having the people be tested on, we should have the dogs be tested by height and weight, and maybe even by having pictures of other animals surround them 24/7.”

This option is all over the place. What exactly is it proposing? Lose it altogether, and replace it with something more coherent.

[Effect] dogs who didn’t pass the test are sent out to be with wolves.

What test? The test you just mentioned? Because someone visiting a nation's front page hasn't seen this test mentioned.

For example, note my nation's front page says:

Scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished, the government snoops on private internet connections, vitriolic divorce proceedings have become prime-time television, and traffic jams are a common sight due to construction work from a massive overhaul of the nation's freeways. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Three-Toed Indecent Dolphin Mutant Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Note how recent effect lines are used to build this paragraph, and how none of them need you to know what issue they came from to make sense.

Anyroads, I think this draft is some way off being ready. I suggest step back and do some research. Go to the websites of people who are for and against breeds of dogs generally regarded as dangerous, and gather up their arguments. Use those to provide verisimilitude to the pro- and anti- options for 1 and 2, then use option 3 for a humorously crazy third way approach.

[Australian rePublic]

Great idea for an issue!

Your first option has a @@HE@@ macro, when it should just be "she"
Also, your description should specify that the video in question happened in @@NAME@@. If happened overseas, there's nothing much you could do

Grab a thesaurus, and find some synonyms for dog.

You should (strategically) use the word bitch

[Dytarma]

Alright, I was just confused whether it was always @@HE@@ or not. And sure, I could use bitch, the right way of course.

[Indastion]

we could trank them take them to animal control and then give them a better home in the future after some big dog training

[Dytarma]

we could trank them take them to animal control and then give them a better home in the future after some big dog training

The "dog training" would most likely be the "dog testing". Instead of adding an option 4, I will change testing to training. Add testing with training.

[Australian rePublic]

Someone should say, "first the dog's attacking other dogs, next it will attack humans"

[Dytarma]

That option sounds like it would be a bit similar to issue 113

[Australian rePublic]

That option sounds like it would be a bit similar to issue 113

It shouldn't be an option. It should be written into the first option

[Dytarma]

Ah, I see now. I'll try working into it later.

[Dytarma]

Ah, I see now. I'll try working into it later.

Alright, I edited option 1.

[Australian rePublic]

1. Effect for option 1- how about they're forcfully given lethal injections
2. Option 2- Nobody would ever own up to a problem like that
3. Effect for option 2- Not eferyone knows what a GPA isnot every country uses GPAs

[Dytarma]

1. Effect for option 1- how about they're forcfully given lethal injections
2. Option 2- Nobody would ever own up to a problem like that
3. Effect for option 2- Not eferyone knows what a GPA isnot every country uses GPAs

1. Yeah, I guess it's more humane.

2. What changes would I need to make?

3. I'll just go with those who passed classes in college relating to animals. Does that sound good?

[Golf Ball Liberty]

[desc] not [description]

[Dytarma]

[desc] not [description]

They're the same thing.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

No, he's right. The correct format is

[title]

[desc]
[validity]

[option]
[effect]
[stats]

Though unless you're using the advanced form, it doesn't matter.

[Dytarma]

No, he's right. The correct format is

[title]

[desc]
[validity]

[option]
[effect]
[stats]

Though unless you're using the advanced form, it doesn't matter.

I usually use the basic one, but I'll change it.

[Goofy Dog Nation]

Hello. I am dog