Seriously, this is probably the last issue I'll write for a while as I intend to focus on editing pretty heavily for the next few months.
Alt Title: A Contested Result (my original concept title, but it seemed a bit of a troll at the moment)
[title]@@NAME@@ Falls Flat In Singing Contest
[desc]Last night, in the finals of popular reality TV contest, @@REGION@@vision, the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ representative lost, despite giving what almost all critics in @@NAME@@ have declared to be a superior performance. The enraged masses have inexplicably decided that the best course of action is to storm your office to complain.
[validity] all
[option}"It was rigged!" screams the real housewife of @@CAPITAL@@, @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME@@ Karsprintian, who is so angered that she is speaking at a pace you're having trouble keeping up with. "Half the judges looked to be Maxtopian to me, and you know what those people think of us and our culture. The contest must be rerun, this time with unbiased judges from outside of @@REGION@@. If the rest of @@REGION@@ doesn't agree, threaten trade sanctions, heck, maybe even outright war. @@NAME@@'s pride depends on this!"
[effect]the results of reality TV shows have launched international incidents
[option]"Clearly the rest of @@REGION@@ are just uncultured idiots!" yells @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who was recently voted @@NAME@@'s most-eligible bachelor. "If they can't appreciate us, who needs them? The government should sponsor its own patriotic song contest! Call it @@DEONYMNADJECTIVE@@ Idol, and only let the citizens of @@NAME@@ compete. The government could make a tidy profit off of ad revenue, and a(n) @@DENONYM@@ is guaranteed to be the winner."
[effect]the government raises money through state-sponsored trashy TV
[option]"The only thing that's clear to me is that the masses can't handle so much TV." declares your big brother. "I think they need to spend more time in the real world. I say we mandate all TV's in @@NAME@@ have cameras installed in them, and have the TV's shut off if anyone watches it for more than an hour a day. Say, we could even use the cameras to make sure everyone's following other laws the rest of the time, too."
[effect]in @@NAME@@ you don't watch Big Brother big brother watches you
[option]"If you ask me, these low-brow shows are making your average @@DENONYM@@ no smarter than a 5th grader." posits your apprentice, after finally clearing the rabble from your office. "If the only shows on TV were serious, like 60 Clock-ticks, or informative, like Will Zeke the Science Geek, then TV could actually help create a smarter, more refined populace. And you can bet that would put an end to mobs provoked by TV putting you in jeopardy.
[effect]pirating Maxtopian cable is popular due to the dullness of local TV