[DRAFT] A Heart of Gold Transistors

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

Ex.
Following a new legislation in Noah's Second Country, upgrading is compulsory, resistance is futile.
Nobody knows what that means. At all.

It's a reference to the Borg, lots of people know what it means.

[Libertarian Firepower]

Ex.
Following a new legislation in Noah's Second Country, upgrading is compulsory, resistance is futile.
Nobody knows what that means. At all.

It's a reference to the Borg, lots of people know what it means.

Stuck in the middle of someone's nation description with no context, it could be confusing. The Borg reference is decent idea, but you still need to be mindful of clarity.

2nd draft is better than the 1st, but could still use more polishing...

Effect line on option 5 is long and clunky.

I'm not sure if option 6 is really needs to be there, since it's very similar to option 1 in its effect.

In option 1, "similar to the character 'AndroCop'," feels like it's just tacked onto the end of the sentence in an awkward way. It's not that the reference is bad. It just doesn't flow well. Either integrate it into the writing more smoothly or take it out.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

It's a reference to the Borg, lots of people know what it means.

Stuck in the middle of someone's nation description with no context, it could be confusing. The Borg reference is decent idea, but you still need to be mindful of clarity.

2nd draft is better than the 1st, but could still use more polishing...

Effect line on option 5 is long and clunky.

I'm not sure if option 6 is really needs to be there, since it's very similar to option 1 in its effect.

In option 1, "similar to the character 'AndroCop'," feels like it's just tacked onto the end of the sentence in an awkward way. It's not that the reference is bad. It just doesn't flow well. Either integrate it into the writing more smoothly or take it out.

Option 1 and 6 are politically the opposite, and will have corresponding effects that I have yet to add in.
Option 6 is an Authoritarian Socialist Nationalisation, while option 1 is Laissez Faire Capitalism.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

It's a reference to the Borg, lots of people know what it means.

Stuck in the middle of someone's nation description with no context, it could be confusing. The Borg reference is decent idea, but you still need to be mindful of clarity.

2nd draft is better than the 1st, but could still use more polishing...

Effect line on option 5 is long and clunky.

I'm not sure if option 6 is really needs to be there, since it's very similar to option 1 in its effect.

In option 1, "similar to the character 'AndroCop'," feels like it's just tacked onto the end of the sentence in an awkward way. It's not that the reference is bad. It just doesn't flow well. Either integrate it into the writing more smoothly or take it out.

I think I've made the Option 5 Effect and the RoboCop reference less clunky.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Let's get back to the premise:

Cybes Industries CEO Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0". A robotic body that the brain is transplanted into that will replace the human body.
However, it was accomplished through experimentation on the homeless.

First thing to note is that you can't have line breaks in a premise description, sadly.

Second thing is that this is still really odd. What you've got still is a massive and life-changing technology, and then the issue focuses on a minor detail.

It's akin to saying "World War 3 has begun and nuclear winter has enveloped the world. Pensioners are complaining that their heating bills are rising."

Or maybe "Theologians have used mathematics to unquestionably prove the existence of God. However, to do so, they used computers stolen from your military labs."

Do you get what I'm saying here? If you want to flip the internal reality of the game, then make the issue just about the new technology that is doing this. The Issue is that a technology has become available to put brains into robots. That's the issue, that's the premise. Start from there, and then pitch that at a level that respects the base reality of NS, but has this as one of the edge-cases.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

Let's get back to the premise:

Cybes Industries CEO Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0". A robotic body that the brain is transplanted into that will replace the human body.
However, it was accomplished through experimentation on the homeless.

First thing to note is that you can't have line breaks in a premise description, sadly.

Second thing is that this is still really odd. What you've got still is a massive and life-changing technology, and then the issue focuses on a minor detail.

It's akin to saying "World War 3 has begun and nuclear winter has enveloped the world. Pensioners are complaining that their heating bills are rising."

Or maybe "Theologians have used mathematics to unquestionably prove the existence of God. However, to do so, they used computers stolen from your military labs."

Do you get what I'm saying here? If you want to flip the internal reality of the game, then make the issue just about the new technology that is doing this. The Issue is that a technology has become available to put brains into robots. That's the issue, that's the premise. Start from there, and then pitch that at a level that respects the base reality of NS, but has this as one of the edge-cases.

Noted.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

Going to get back to this soon

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

Hearts of Gold Transistors

Cybes Industries CEO Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0". A fully functional robotic body that the brain and other vital organs are transplanted into, like a walking life support machine operated with the mind.
It is claimed to replace the "so last century" human body.

[valid if]Nation is "out there" (https://www.nationstates.net/images/banners/x1.jpg)

1. [option]@@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@ crashes through your wall and proclaims "I rather like my new body, I feel like AndroCop!" in a voice that sounds rather like NanoSoft Sam.
   "If it isn't hurting you, why should you put your big nose into it?"
   [Effect]Doctors are being retrained as mechanics.
   [Stats]+ Life Span, Health, Intelligence, Scientific Advancement, Industry: Information technology, Economic Output
   - Death Rate, Culture, Primitivism, Employment
   
   
2. [Option]"This looks, very interesting..." muses General @@RANDOMNAME@@ as he strolls around the room "Perhaps if we made a few... expensive alterations to this, we could turn every one of our Soldiers into Walking Tanks! Or rather... Flying Tanks!" as he steals a look at a jetpack that somehow happens to be in the office".
   [Effects]With these upgrades the others never stood a chance - every soldier is now a weapon to surpass iron gear.
   [Stats]+ Taxation, Government size, Business Subsidization, Intelligence, Weaponization, Defense Forces, Industry: Arms Manufacturing, Scientific Advancement, Intelligence
   - Freedom From Taxation, Niceness
   
   
3. [option]Your teenage nephew @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ rushes to your side and pulls out the Communist Manifesto, accidentally slapping your face. "Uncle! If we let these corporates sell these, who knows what they will do to us when they are maintaining us! We MUST nationalise these upgrades and create a future not just for the bourgeoisie but one for all that will create equality and equity!"
   [Effects]Upgrading is compulsory - resistance is futile.
   [Stats]+ Welfare, Government size, Taxation, Scientific Advancement, Public Healthcare, Lifespan, Health, Intelligence, Authoritarianism, Compassion, Industry: Information technology, Inclusiveness, Average Income of Poor
   - Freedom From Taxation, Wealth Gaps, Average Income of Rich, Wealth Gaps
   
   
4. [option]"Woah, woah, can't we just have everything in moderation?" Chirps liberal philosopher @@NAME@@ Harris, on the popular social media site Chirpper. "We could just partially improve ourselves with cybernetic enhancements, instead of fully upgrading ourselves. Plus it must be a pretty brutal experience to be put into those metal coffins...I mean machines."
   [Effects]Cybernetic enhancements has become a new trend among the younger generations.
   [Stats]+ Safety, Youth Rebelliousness, Human Development Index, Intellegence, Niceness, Pacifism, Culture
   - Rudeness, Averageness

[Zaluzianskya]

"Uncle! If we let these corporates sell these...

I'd just like to point out that my nation's leader is female.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

"Uncle! If we let these corporates sell these...

I'd just like to point out that my nation's leader is female.

Thanks, haven't thought about that, just took out the word uncle and it should be fine now.

[Jutsa]

Hello, CaSM! Short time no see.

I'm going to punch in a few of my opinions for this issue, and hopefully they won't mess anything up.

Cybes Industries CEO Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0". A fully functional robotic body that the brain and other vital organs are transplanted into, like a walking life support machine operated with the mind.
It is claimed to replace the "so last century" human body.

I personally think this'd go along a little bit better if it were phrased,

Cybes Industries CEO, Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0," a fully functional, robotic body that the brain and other vital organs are transplanted into, like a walking life support machine operated with the mind. It is claimed to replace the "so last century" human body, with advocates and protesters barging into your office from all sides.

Note, uh, that's just my phrase, you can take it from there as you wish, though, and even just not edit it at all if it suits you rather.

Finally, another validity should take into account the fact that this was created by a CEO to begin with - that wouldn't work in an already
communist nation, whilst if it were changed to something along the lines of "scientists have come up with a new robotic body",
it'd not need a left/right-wing restriction.

Now, onto the options!

Option 1:

[option]@@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@[/option]
Idk, I feel like it might as well be @@RANDOMNAME@@, but that's up to you.

crashes through your wall and proclaims

I love this - just could use a comma after "proclaims".

"I rather like my new body, I feel like AndroCop!" in a voice that sounds rather like NanoSoft Sam.[/quote]
I don't quite get the references. I'm sure you could keep them, but idk how it'd work for the majority of folks, just as a heads up.

"If it isn't hurting you, why should you put your big nose into it?"

On one hand, good point, but on the other hand,
perhaps you should give a more compelling argument, such as explaining that you can do stuff normal humans can't,
and that you don't have to worry about physical injury anymore.
Also, I don't think any issues use the enter key to separate sentences within options or the description.

Uh, finally, it might be better if it were the CEO who crashed through your wall, and asked for subsidization?
It'd not be necessary, but it might add a bit more action to the option.

[Stats]+

Uh, probably best to leave stats out of options - same with the others.

Option 2:

"This looks, very interesting..." muses General @@RANDOMNAME@@ as he strolls around the room

"This looks... very interesting," might be better. Also, a comma after "room".

Soldiers into Walking Tanks! Or rather... Flying Tanks!"

I think "Or" is the only word that needs capitalization, here.

as he steals a look at a jetpack that somehow happens to be in the office".

No quotation marks after "office". Also, "as he steals" would probably be better as "he then steals",
and "happens" might be better as "happened", although I'm not as sure about that.

With these upgrades the others never stood a chance - every soldier is now a weapon to surpass iron gear.

Again, don't get the reference. It's a little odd, but I found out today that far stranger effect lines exist.
Also, no period.

Option 3:

Your teenage nephew @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ rushes to your side

A comma after "nephew" and "@@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ - also, probably should be @@RANDOMFIRSTMALENAME@@ in this case.

and pulls out the Communist Manifesto, accidentally slapping your face.

Thumbs up to slapping the leader in the face. As for the "communist manifesto", what exactly is it? Is it a movie, a book...
a hand-guide? It's not important information, but it might not hurt to say what it is.

corporates [...] nationalise [...] bourgeoisie

a) corporations or corporate businessmen might be better, although it might work as-is.
b) nationalize*
c) til a new word!

If we let these corporates sell these, who knows what they will do to us when they are maintaining us! We MUST nationalise these upgrades and create a future not just for the bourgeoisie but one for all that will create equality and equity!"

[Effects]Upgrading is compulsory - resistance is futile.

Alright, a few problems with this - I do apologize already for this, but...

well, the logic in this seems a little... all-over? First he says it's about what the corporations would do to people
(which is understandable, although the libertarians might think the same of the government), then it's for giving bodies to everyone?
If it's just about making sure they're not controlled, though, then perhaps the middle class
(I googled bourgeoisie, it's middle-class I guess) should be upper class,

and then finally, the effect line states that it's compulsory - which, is not stated in the option and, if anything, sort-of
goes against the idea of protecting people from corporations? If you could explain to me how all three of these link
up, then sure thing. Otherwise, you may want to try and find a way to give the reasons more fluently, or try to work around
just one of the ideas.

And, option 4!

"Woah, woah, can't we just have everything in moderation?"

Moderation? It's probably fine, but could you perhaps elaborate on this for me?

Chirps liberal philosopher @@NAME@@ Harris, on the popular social media site Chirpper.

"Chirps" should probably be lowercase. Also, should @@NAME@@ be @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@, or is he/she named after your nation?
Also, should it be "Chirper", or should it be "Chirpper"? Just for clarification, doesn't matter.
Finally, a comma after "site" might be for the best.

instead of fully upgrading ourselves.

Maybe, instead, it ought to be "changing" instead of "upgrading".

Plus it must be a pretty brutal experience to be put into those metal coffins...I mean machines."

Comma after "Plus"(I think), and also you could change "..." to " - " - although, I'm not sure that'd be necessary.

Cybernetic enhancements has become a new trend among the younger generations.

enhancements have*, generation*?, and no period - after any effect lines.

Uh, I'd like to be finished here, but I have two final recommendations.
1) Perhaps there should be an option that is entirely against the idea of changing body parts? I mean, just because a nation is advanced
doesn't mean it'd want to become robotic organisms(especially if a: the nation's run by robots and b: chromosome editing becomes
a thing, which has already begun for certain things irl), and
2) Maybe the options should be reordered, so instead of the order:
promote, military, de-privatize, compromise
to:
promote, de-privatize, compromise,( ban,) military.

So... to summarize?
This issue's a good idea, but the writing could use a bit of work. Namely,
1) It should flow a little better,
2) It should be a little bit more consistent,
3) It could go into more detail about the options available,
4) It has a few grammar mistakes,
5) It could use another option, and
6) It could do without the stats.

I do apologize for this, as it's been roughly half a year, has a good amount of humor,
and poses a rather good question, but I'm afraid that one of three things are in order:
1) Fixing up this draft quite a lot,
2) Make a new draft, or
3) Listen to nothing I've proposed, submit, and hope for the best.
Edit: Or, 4) Have someone else work in the concept.

Any way you choose, I do wish you good luck with this issue. Take care.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

Hello, CaSM! Short time no see.

I'm going to punch in a few of my opinions for this issue, and hopefully they won't mess anything up.

Cybes Industries lead scientist Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0". A fully functional robotic body that the brain and other vital organs are transplanted into, like a walking life support machine operated with the mind.
It is claimed to replace the "so last century" human body.

I personally think this'd go along a little bit better if it were phrased,

Cybes Industries CEO, Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0," a fully functional, robotic body that the brain and other vital organs are transplanted into, like a walking life support machine operated with the mind. It is claimed to replace the "so last century" human body, with advocates and protesters barging into your office from all sides.

Note, uh, that's just my phrase, you can take it from there as you wish, though, and even just not edit it at all if it suits you rather.

Finally, another validity should take into account the fact that this was created by a CEO to begin with - that wouldn't work in an already
communist nation, whilst if it were changed to something along the lines of "scientists have come up with a new robotic body",
it'd not need a left/right-wing restriction.

Now, onto the options!

Option 1:

[option]@@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@[/option]
Idk, I feel like it might as well be @@RANDOMNAME@@, but that's up to you.

crashes through your wall and proclaims

I love this - just could use a comma after "proclaims".

"I rather like my new body, I feel like AndroCop!" in a voice that sounds rather like NanoSoft Sam.

I don't quite get the references. I'm sure you could keep them, but idk how it'd work for the majority of folks, just as a heads up.

"If it isn't hurting you, why should you put your big nose into it?"

On one hand, good point, but on the other hand,
perhaps you should give a more compelling argument, such as explaining that you can do stuff normal humans can't,
and that you don't have to worry about physical injury anymore.
Also, I don't think any issues use the enter key to separate sentences within options or the description.

Uh, finally, it might be better if it were the CEO who crashed through your wall, and asked for subsidization?
It'd not be necessary, but it might add a bit more action to the option.

[Stats]+

Uh, probably best to leave stats out of options - same with the others.

Option 2:

"This looks, very interesting..." muses General @@RANDOMNAME@@ as he strolls around the room

"This looks... very interesting," might be better. Also, a comma after "room".

Soldiers into Walking Tanks! Or rather... Flying Tanks!"

I think "Or" is the only word that needs capitalization, here.

as he steals a look at a jetpack that somehow happens to be in the office".

No quotation marks after "office". Also, "as he steals" would probably be better as "he then steals",
and "happens" might be better as "happened", although I'm not as sure about that.

With these upgrades the others never stood a chance - every soldier is now a weapon to surpass iron gear.

Again, don't get the reference. It's a little odd, but I found out today that far stranger effect lines exist.
Also, no period.

Option 3:

Your teenage nephew @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ rushes to your side

A comma after "nephew" and "@@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ - also, probably should be @@RANDOMFIRSTMALENAME@@ in this case.

and pulls out the Communist Manifesto, accidentally slapping your face.

Thumbs up to slapping the leader in the face. As for the "communist manifesto", what exactly is it? Is it a movie, a book...
a hand-guide? It's not important information, but it might not hurt to say what it is.

corporates [...] nationalise [...] bourgeoisie

a) corporations or corporate businessmen might be better, although it might work as-is.
b) nationalize*
c) til a new word!

If we let these corporates sell these, who knows what they will do to us when they are maintaining us! We MUST nationalise these upgrades and create a future not just for the bourgeoisie but one for all that will create equality and equity!"

[Effects]Upgrading is compulsory - resistance is futile.

Alright, a few problems with this - I do apologize already for this, but...

well, the logic in this seems a little... all-over? First he says it's about what the corporations would do to people
(which is understandable, although the libertarians might think the same of the government), then it's for giving bodies to everyone?
If it's just about making sure they're not controlled, though, then perhaps the middle class
(I googled bourgeoisie, it's middle-class I guess) should be upper class,

and then finally, the effect line states that it's compulsory - which, is not stated in the option and, if anything, sort-of
goes against the idea of protecting people from corporations? If you could explain to me how all three of these link
up, then sure thing. Otherwise, you may want to try and find a way to give the reasons more fluently, or try to work around
just one of the ideas.

And, option 4!

"Woah, woah, can't we just have everything in moderation?"

Moderation? It's probably fine, but could you perhaps elaborate on this for me?

Chirps liberal philosopher @@NAME@@ Harris, on the popular social media site Chirpper.

"Chirps" should probably be lowercase. Also, should @@NAME@@ be @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@, or is he/she named after your nation?
Also, should it be "Chirper", or should it be "Chirpper"? Just for clarification, doesn't matter.
Finally, a comma after "site" might be for the best.

instead of fully upgrading ourselves.

Maybe, instead, it ought to be "changing" instead of "upgrading".

Plus it must be a pretty brutal experience to be put into those metal coffins...I mean machines."

Comma after "Plus"(I think), and also you could change "..." to " - " - although, I'm not sure that'd be necessary.

Cybernetic enhancements has become a new trend among the younger generations.

enhancements have*, generation*?, and no period - after any effect lines.

Uh, I'd like to be finished here, but I have two final recommendations.
1) Perhaps there should be an option that is entirely against the idea of changing body parts? I mean, just because a nation is advanced
doesn't mean it'd want to become robotic organisms(especially if a: the nation's run by robots and b: chromosome editing becomes
a thing, which has already begun for certain things irl), and
2) Maybe the options should be reordered, so instead of the order:
promote, military, de-privatize, compromise
to:
promote, de-privatize, compromise,( ban,) military.

So... to summarize?
This issue's a good idea, but the writing could use a bit of work. Namely,
1) It should flow a little better,
2) It should be a little bit more consistent,
3) It could go into more detail about the options available,
4) It has a few grammar mistakes,
5) It could use another option, and
6) It could do without the stats.

I do apologize for this, as it's been roughly half a year, has a good amount of humor,
and poses a rather good question, but I'm afraid that one of three things are in order:
1) Fixing up this draft quite a lot,
2) Make a new draft, or
3) Listen to nothing I've proposed, submit, and hope for the best.
Edit: Or, 4) Have someone else work in the concept.

Any way you choose, I do wish you good luck with this issue. Take care. [/quote]

It's taken quite a while to come back to this, but I've done the edits, although I don't know if the flow is better, funnily enough, I previously deleted that violetist option that was in versions 1 and two because it had too many options.

Hearts of Gold Transistors

Cybes Industries lead scientist, Jon Numic, has announced "Human 2.0," a fully functional, robotic body that the brain and other vital organs like the stomach are transplanted into, like a walking life support machine operated with the mind. It is claimed to replace the "so last century" human body, with advocates and protesters barging into your office from all sides.

[valid if]Nation is "out there"

1. [option] @@RANDOMNAME@@, a previous paraplegic crashes through your wall and proclaims, "I rather like my new body, I feel like AndroCop!" in a voice that sounds rather like NanoSoft Sam.
   Making full use of their new found use of limbs they say "If it isn't hurting you, why should you put your big nose into it?" before smashing your table with an overly expressive thump.
   [Effect]Doctors are being retrained as mechanics
   
   
   
2. [option]Your teenage nephew @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ rushes to your side and whips out his tattered copy of the Communist Manifesto, accidentally slapping you in the face. "If we let these scientists sell these, who knows what they will do to us when they are maintaining us! We MUST nationalize these upgrades! For the people! And redistribute them to all to create a future not just for the upper class, but one for all that will create equality and equity!"
   [Effects]Upgrading is compulsory - resistance is futile.
   
   
   
3. [Option]"This is Heresy!" Booms the High Priest of Violetism, @@RANDOMNAME@@, waving a passage of the holy text in the air as you spin round trying to keep track of everyone in your office. "If we become immortal, how will we meet with our creator? Death should not be feared, stop playing God and ban all this monstrous machinery, we should not tamper with our God given form, along with that, we should ban all technological terrors, less this comes to haunt us again."
   [Effects]@@NAME@@ has regressed several hundred years in technology, and any mention of automata results in stoning
   
   
   
4. [option]Just as you sit down you see a twit from the liberal philosopher @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Harris, on the popular social media site "Twitcher" pop up on your screen. "Woah, woah, can't we just have everything in moderation?"
   "We could just partially improve ourselves with slight cybernetic enhancements, instead of changing ourselves like that. We'd be nothing more than ghosts in a shell otherwise. Plus it must be a pretty brutal experience to be put into those metal coffins... I mean machines."
   [Effects]Minor cybernetic enhancements have become a new trend amongst the younger generation
   
   
   
5. [Option]"This looks, very interesting..." muses General @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@ as he strolls in from the far end of the room, "Perhaps if we made a few... expensive alterations to this, we could turn every one of our Soldiers into walking tanks! Or rather...flying tanks!" as he then steals a look at a jetpack that somehow happened to be hung up in the office.
   [Effects]With these upgrades the others never stood a chance - every soldier is now a weapon to surpass iron gear

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I realise this is a one year labour of love, but I have to say I still really am not feeling this issue premise. It feels too wacky and too futuristic. Some others may feel differently, but from my point of view, this is not an issue I would like to see in the game.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

I realise this is a one year labour of love, but I have to say I still really am not feeling this issue premise. It feels too wacky and too futuristic. Some others may feel differently, but from my point of view, this is not an issue I would like to see in the game.

Well, that is what I thought the valid if "out there" meant?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

You've misunderstood.

That banner is just used to indicate nations who have achieved a certain level of advancement, not to indicate a category of nations who can have scifi issues.

Some level of science fiction is established in the game, with different editors having different comfort zones for each of them. As far as I'm concerned brains in robot bodies just aren't right for this game's meta-fiction. They would change the nature of the game too much, for example making Life Expectancy more or less a redundant stat, and altering all future narratives in dramatic ways.

Sorry, this idea does not fit, and will never make it into the game. I tell you this purely as a courtesy, to save your future efforts on this story, not to debate the merits of the idea of including it.

It will not make the game.

[Cyborgs and Sentient Machines]

You've misunderstood.

That banner is just used to indicate nations who have achieved a certain level of advancement, not to indicate a category of nations who can have scifi issues.

Some level of science fiction is established in the game, with different editors having different comfort zones for each of them. As far as I'm concerned brains in robot bodies just aren't right for this game's meta-fiction. They would change the nature of the game too much, for example making Life Expectancy more or less a redundant stat, and altering all future narratives in dramatic ways.

Sorry, this idea does not fit, and will never make it into the game. I tell you this purely as a courtesy, to save your future efforts on this story, not to debate the merits of the idea of including it.

It will not make the game.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind if I ever decide to submit it, if it gets rejected, it gets rejected.

[Jutsa]

I kinda like it, though - it'd sorta be a nice consequence of the "Carbon Copied" issue.

Plus, you never know - in a few decades, this technology might be a reality. Or not. Probably not, but there's still a chance, right?
And if that happens, then this issue would be relevant.

Glad to see you again - I was worried I had, like, scared you away from issue writing with my oversized wall of text.
I really hope you work on another draft - I'd be delighted to investigate it.