[ACCEPTED] Mathematical Morons (CLOSED)

[Yatzatz]

I can't actually submit an issue yet (my population is to low) but I wanted to try my hand at issue making. So, here's a suggestion. It's my first one, so feel free to criticize.

DESCRIPTION: After a poll shows that 67% of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ said that the multiplication table was "where numbers eat," people have raised concern over the math abilities of the nation.

OPTIONS:
1. "This is a disgrace!" shouts Minister of Education @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you the poll. "If things continue like this, we'll be a nation of blathering morons in no time! Institute stricter standards of education!"
Effect: 6-year-olds are required to memorize pi to 25 decimal places.

2. "Yes, it's very sad, but the kids aren't the problem," says @RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the head of The Organization for Blaming Non-Obvious People. "Have you ever been to a math class? Memorize, memorize, memorize. Do the same thing three hundred times. Blah, blah, blah. With the teachers this nation has, it's no wonder kids can't do math! Require teachers to involve the kids!
Effect: To become a kindergarten teacher you must have 30 years of Teacher's College and have passed a 200-page test on stimulation.

3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," opines @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Sure, the state of our kids is sad, but think of the pluses! If 500 people give you 2 @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ each, you can spend 2 million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ and claim it's justified! And everyone will believe you!" He pauses, and then says "Um, 2 million is more than 500 times 2, right?"
Effect: The government normally makes absurd claims which are believed by everyone.

4. "So what?" asks disgruntled teen @@RANDOMNAME@@. "So we don't all know habucination. When does this ever make a difference?"
Effect: Cars fall down as workers believe that 2 wheels on each side makes 3 wheels total.

What do you think?

DESCRIPTION: After a poll shows that 67% of @@DEMONYM@@ believe that the multiplication table is "where numbers eat," people have brought up the issue of declining math skills.
OPTIONS:
1. "This is a disaster!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Education. "Clearly we must institute higher standards of education! What else can solve this!"
EFFECT: Kindergartners must memorize 25 digits of pi.
STATS: +intel, +authoritarianism,+public edu, -cheerfulness

2. "You know, this isn't the student's fault," opines @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the head of the Organization for Blaming Non-Obvious People. "The problem isn't the students, it's the teachers. Have you ever been to a math class? Memorize this. Memorize that. Do this three hundred times. Blah, blah, blah. It's no wonder kids can't do math! Make teachers stimulate the kids!"
EFFECT: You must have years and years of Teacher's College to become a kindergarten teacher.
STATS: +intel, +cheerfulness, +public edu, -authoritarianism, -ignorance

3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," states @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Sure it's sad, but let's make something out of it! Say fifty people give you twenty @@CURRENCY@@ each. You can spend ten million @@CURRENCY@@ and claim it's justified!" He pauses, and then says "Um, ten million is more than fifty times twenty, right?"
EFFECT: If you give the government a @@CURRENCY@@, it spends fifty.
STATS: +authoritarianism, +ignorance, +taxation, -public edu, -intel

4. "So what?" says disgruntled teenager @@RANDOMNAME@@. "So not all of us know how to take some things, and do this thing to them, and then look at a thing, and fifty more things. Who CARES?"
EFFECT: Other countries wonder how many @@DEMONYM@@ it takes to literally screw in a light bulb.
STATS: +ignorance, +cheerfulness, -public edu, -intel

EDIT: It's been submitted! Here's the submitted version:

After a poll shows that 67% of @@DEMONYM@@ believe that the multiplication table is "where numbers eat," people have brought up the issue of declining math skills.
Validity: Nations with low intel and/or low public edu
[option]"This is a disaster!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Education, slaping the poll on your desk. "Clearly we must institute higher standards of education! What else can solve this!"
[effect]: Kindergartners must memorize 25 digits of pi.
[stats]: +intel, +authoritarianism,+public edu, -cheerfulness, and more


[option]"You know, this isn't the student's fault," opines @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the head of the Organization for Blaming Non-Obvious People. "The problem isn't the students, it's the teachers. Have you ever been to a math class? Memorize this. Memorize that. Do this three hundred times. Blah, blah, blah. It's no wonder kids can't do math! Make teachers stimulate the kids!"
[effect]: You must have years and years of Teacher's College to become a kindergarten teacher.
[stats]: +intel, +cheerfulness, +public edu, -authoritarianism, -ignorance, and more


[option]"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," states @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Sure it's sad, but let's make something out of it! Say fifty people give you twenty @@CURRENCY@@ each. You can spend ten million @@CURRENCY@@ and claim it's justified!" He pauses, and then says "Um, ten million is more than fifty times twenty, right?"
[effect]: If you give the government a @@CURRENCY@@, it spends fifty.
[stats]: +authoritarianism, +ignorance, +taxation, -public edu, -intel, and more


[option]"So what?" says disgruntled teenager @@RANDOMNAME@@. "So not all of us know how to take some things, and do this thing to them, and then look at a thing, and fifty more things. Who CARES?"
[effect]: Other countries wonder how many @@DEMONYM@@ it takes to literally screw in a light bulb.
[stats]: +ignorance, +cheerfulness, -public edu, -intel, and more

EDIT: It's been accepted!!!!!!!!

[Hansdeltania]

You forgot the ending quotation at the end of option 2. Tags are also incorrect and there aren't any stats, but we'll get to that later. Overall, I'd say that that is a damn good issue, especially that you're a first-timer.

[The Anti-Social Socialists]

Heh. Love the description!

Just a suggestion, perhaps making this issue valid for low-intelligence nations and/or nations with little public education would be good.

Also, remember that your effect lines will come up as 'Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, [effect]. It's probably best to keep them reasonably succinct and snappy. This is mainly referencing that second one.

Lastly, I don't quite know if your last effect really links properly to your issue. There are many clever ways to convey that the population is stupid with some more relevance to the education system, or to more general aspects of life. Perhaps 'Chocolate wrappers have replaced resumes as other nations wonder how many @@DEMONYN@@ it literally takes to screw in a light bulb.

Overall, I really like this idea. Keep working at it, and I'm sure you'll do wonderfully!

[Yatzatz]

Remember that your effect lines will come up as 'Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, [effect]. It's probably best to keep them reasonably succinct and snappy. This is mainly referencing that second one.

I don't quite know if your last effect really links properly to your issue. There are many clever ways to convey that the population is stupid with some more relevance to the education system, or to more general aspects of life. Perhaps 'Chocolate wrappers have replaced resumes as other nations wonder how many @@DEMONYN@@ it literally takes to screw in a light bulb.

So what about having the second effect as "you must have 30 years of Teacher's College to become a kindergarten teacher"? I really like your suggestion for the last effect, but I think it might be slightly better as just "other nations wonder how many @@DEMONYM@@ it literally takes to screw in a light bulb."

[The Anti-Social Socialists]

Remember that your effect lines will come up as 'Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, [effect]. It's probably best to keep them reasonably succinct and snappy. This is mainly referencing that second one.

I don't quite know if your last effect really links properly to your issue. There are many clever ways to convey that the population is stupid with some more relevance to the education system, or to more general aspects of life. Perhaps 'Chocolate wrappers have replaced resumes as other nations wonder how many @@DEMONYN@@ it literally takes to screw in a light bulb.

So what about having the second effect as "you must have 30 years of Teacher's College to become a kindergarten teacher"? I really like your suggestion for the last effect, but I think it might be slightly better as just "other nations wonder how many @@DEMONYM@@ it literally takes to screw in a light bulb."

Yeah, something along those lines for your second option. As long as you find it appealing, and it's reasonably succinct. Feel free to drop the 'Chocolate wrappers have replaced resumes' bit. The 'light bulb' bit still works, it's recognisable and if you're happy with it, then I'm happy with it

Come to think of it, though, I don't know if numbers have been a terribly common thing in the effect lines. Anyway, if you believe it works, then go for it!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Did something similar back in March, just before becoming an editor, though my issue was more about gender inequality in maths skills rather than maths skills in general:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=371746

Was submitted too fast though, and while its in the yes-pool, I'm not especially attached to it. Please feel free to help yourself to anything from it.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 3-Taxation

[Yatzatz]

Alright, second draft. Added some stats, but not done with those.

DESCRIPTION: After a poll shows that 67% of @@DEMONYM@@ believe that the multiplication table is "where numbers eat," people have brought up the issue of declining math skills.
OPTIONS:
1. "This is a disaster!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Education. "Clearly we must institute higher standards of education! What else can solve this!"
EFFECT: Kindergartners must memorize 25 digits of pi.
STATS: +intel, +authoritarianism,+public edu, -cheerfulness

2. "You know, this isn't the student's fault," opines @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the head of the Organization for Blaming Non-Obvious People. "The problem isn't the students, it's the teachers. Have you ever been to a math class? Memorize this. Memorize that. Do this three hundred times. Blah, blah, blah. It's no wonder kids can't do math! Make teachers stimulate the kids!"
EFFECT: You must have years and years of Teacher's College to become a kindergarten teacher.
STATS: +intel, +cheerfulness, +public edu, -authoritarianism, -ignorance

3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," states @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Sure it's sad, but let's make something out of it! Say fifty people give you twenty @@CURRENCY@@ each. You can spend ten million @@CURRENCY@@ and claim it's justified!" He pauses, and then says "Um, ten million is more than fifty times twenty, right?"
EFFECT: If you give the government a @@CURRENCY@@, it spends fifty.
STATS: +authoritarianism, +ignorance, +taxation, -public edu, -intel

4. "So what?" says disgruntled teenager @@RANDOMNAME@@. "So not all of us know how to take some things, and do this thing to them, and then look at a thing, and fifty more things. Who CARES?"
EFFECT: Other countries wonder how many @@DEMONYM@@ it takes to literally screw in a light bulb.
STATS: +ignorance, +cheerfulness, -public edu, -intel

[Australian rePublic]

Last two options make no sense- description- if you don't know what multiplication is, it's not likely you will know it's related to maths

[Chricoma]

Effect: Cars fall down as workers believe that 2 wheels on each side makes 3 wheels total.

A lot of the effects you need to change the 2's into twos because well that is simple grammar.

3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," opines @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Sure, the state of our kids is sad, but think of the pluses! If 500 people give you 2 @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ each, you can spend 2 million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ and claim it's justified! And everyone will believe you!" He pauses, and then says "Um, 2 million is more than 500 times 2, right?"
Effect: The government normally makes absurd claims which are believed by everyone.

The @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ i'm not sure but I don't believe that works and if it does it is unnecessary because you can just do @@CURRENCY@@s

DESCRIPTION: After a poll shows that 67% of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ said that the multiplication table was "where numbers eat," people have raised concern over the math abilities of the nation.

That description is beautiful never change it

EDIT: Ninja'd myself

I would suggest when doing drafts or suggestions you should put the updates in the Original post instead of in replies it make critique easier

[Yatzatz]

I did. I added the second draft in a spoiler in the original post.

DESCRIPTION: After a poll shows that 67% of @@DEMONYM@@ believe that the multiplication table is "where numbers eat," people have brought up the issue of declining math skills.
OPTIONS:
1. "This is a disaster!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Education. "Clearly we must institute higher standards of education! What else can solve this!"
EFFECT: Kindergartners must memorize 25 digits of pi.
STATS: +intel, +authoritarianism,+public edu, -cheerfulness

2. "You know, this isn't the student's fault," opines @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the head of the Organization for Blaming Non-Obvious People. "The problem isn't the students, it's the teachers. Have you ever been to a math class? Memorize this. Memorize that. Do this three hundred times. Blah, blah, blah. It's no wonder kids can't do math! Make teachers stimulate the kids!"
EFFECT: You must have years and years of Teacher's College to become a kindergarten teacher.
STATS: +intel, +cheerfulness, +public edu, -authoritarianism, -ignorance

3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," states @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Sure it's sad, but let's make something out of it! Say fifty people give you twenty @@CURRENCY@@ each. You can spend ten million @@CURRENCY@@ and claim it's justified!" He pauses, and then says "Um, ten million is more than fifty times twenty, right?"
EFFECT: If you give the government a @@CURRENCY@@, it spends fifty.
STATS: +authoritarianism, +ignorance, +taxation, -public edu, -intel

4. "So what?" says disgruntled teenager @@RANDOMNAME@@. "So not all of us know how to take some things, and do this thing to them, and then look at a thing, and fifty more things. Who CARES?"
EFFECT: Other countries wonder how many @@DEMONYM@@ it takes to literally screw in a light bulb.
STATS: +ignorance, +cheerfulness, -public edu, -intel

[Yatzatz]

It's been submitted!

After a poll shows that 67% of @@DEMONYM@@ believe that the multiplication table is "where numbers eat," people have brought up the issue of declining math skills.
Validity: Nations with low intel and/or low public edu
[option]"This is a disaster!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Education, slaping the poll on your desk. "Clearly we must institute higher standards of education! What else can solve this!"
[effect]: Kindergartners must memorize 25 digits of pi.
[stats]: +intel, +authoritarianism,+public edu, -cheerfulness, and more


[option]"You know, this isn't the student's fault," opines @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the head of the Organization for Blaming Non-Obvious People. "The problem isn't the students, it's the teachers. Have you ever been to a math class? Memorize this. Memorize that. Do this three hundred times. Blah, blah, blah. It's no wonder kids can't do math! Make teachers stimulate the kids!"
[effect]: You must have years and years of Teacher's College to become a kindergarten teacher.
[stats]: +intel, +cheerfulness, +public edu, -authoritarianism, -ignorance, and more


[option]"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," states @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Sure it's sad, but let's make something out of it! Say fifty people give you twenty @@CURRENCY@@ each. You can spend ten million @@CURRENCY@@ and claim it's justified!" He pauses, and then says "Um, ten million is more than fifty times twenty, right?"
[effect]: If you give the government a @@CURRENCY@@, it spends fifty.
[stats]: +authoritarianism, +ignorance, +taxation, -public edu, -intel, and more


[option]"So what?" says disgruntled teenager @@RANDOMNAME@@. "So not all of us know how to take some things, and do this thing to them, and then look at a thing, and fifty more things. Who CARES?"
[effect]: Other countries wonder how many @@DEMONYM@@ it takes to literally screw in a light bulb.
[stats]: +ignorance, +cheerfulness, -public edu, -intel, and more

[Australian rePublic]

Good luck!

[Yatzatz]

I wish that this issue was accepted.

Actually granted already.

It was accepted?!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Actually granted already.

It was accepted?!

Yeah, and you wouldn't believe how many rejections we've made since Technical opened the gates to let anyone submit an issue, so consider that an exceptional achievement.

As to whether it'll get published any time soon, that depends on an editor choosing to take it on as their next issue. We've got 139 player-written issues and 90 staff-written issues at present, so no guarantees on timeframe, I'm afraid.

[Yatzatz]

It was accepted?!

Yeah, and you wouldn't believe how many rejections we've made since Technical opened the gates to let anyone submit an issue, so consider that an exceptional achievement.

As to whether it'll get published any time soon, that depends on an editor choosing to take it on as their next issue. We've got 139 player-written issues and 90 staff-written issues at present, so no guarantees on timeframe, I'm afraid.

Can you take it?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Bad form, sir.

Don't ask again please.

[Yatzatz]

Bad form, sir.

Don't ask again please.

Sorry.

[Noahs Second Country]

Accepted?
Congrats

[Yatzatz]

Accepted?
Congrats

Thank you.

[Australian rePublic]

Congragulations!

[Yatzatz]

Congragulations!

Thank you too.

[Yatzatz]

... no guarantees on timeframe, I'm afraid.

Well, now I see what you mean by "no guarantees". It's been two months, and nothing.

[Australian rePublic]

... no guarantees on timeframe, I'm afraid.

Well, now I see what you mean by "no guarantees". It's been two months, and nothing.

Limbo can last upto years

[Candlewhisper Archive]

... no guarantees on timeframe, I'm afraid.

Well, now I see what you mean by "no guarantees". It's been two months, and nothing.

Your issue has been accepted into the "yes" pool. It may see publication some time, or it may never see the light of day.

No guarantees, no promises. You'll get a telegram if the issue gets added, and you'll be assigned the issue. If I start working on it, I'll also telegram you and talk you through the edits I'm making, but this is just my practice, not editing team policy, so you may hear nothing till it appears.

I understand this is frustrating. I'd like to see an NS where every submission is either rejected openly, or published within a week or two of submission. However, I think realistically we'd either need something like 20 active and engaged editors for that to happen.

With the system that we got, you just have to be patient. I hate being patient. I'm staring at issues that I know are good enough, which I wrote in 2015. I've got 57 good issues in the queue. Nation of Quebec has 45 good issues there. A lot of GI regulars, have got large numbers of issues queued as well. All of these issues are good enough for publication, but there's a bottleneck in the editing process at the stage of peer review and quality control. Hell, I've got a dozen more issue ideas rattling around, but I'm refusing to spend time drafting them, because what's the point of writing stuff that isn't being used?

This bottleneck can be widened if we get active new editors in, which is part of the reason we're running this contest, and why we are always approaching competent authors to see if they're up for joining the team. It keeps going wrong though, as real life stops promising candidates from joining the team.

But you're not going to see publication any faster by flagging how long you've been waiting. Everyone is waiting. That's how it works. It's gotten so much faster in the last year, and I'll gladly take credit for a proportion of that because false modesty is silly, but it's still super slow.

So stop actively waiting, and if you see the issue, then celebrate when it arrives. Otherwise, expect nothing.