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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 6:31 pm
by Nation of Quebec
A Humanist Science wrote:
Nation of Quebec wrote:That sounds better. I've changed the text there.

Is there anything else that's in need of fixing?


Looks good to go.


Thanks. Does anyone else have any further feedback before I submit this?

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 4:03 am
by Almonaster Nuevo
I still don't think "clamored ... to determine" works.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:13 am
by Australian rePublic
Wait!

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:17 am
by Australian rePublic
Yiur descriotion seems to be that the death penalty has just been implimented, what about the nations who have had it for years?

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:24 am
by Australian rePublic
The effect forr option 5 sounds like the TV show has been on for years, despite the fact that issue says its new

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 3:02 pm
by Nation of Quebec
I've updated the draft on the front page that addressed those concerns. It should read better now.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 3:38 pm
by Christian Democrats
In my opinion, the issue should be titled "The Violet Mile."

Option 1 -- I would hyphenate "grey haired." Also, this option overuses "scum." Is there a good synonym?

Option 2 -- Who says that the creator deity is the same god who judges souls in @@NAME@@'s religious traditions? :P As far as the effect goes, are there any historical examples of people being burned at the stake for believing in heliocentrism?

Option 3 -- I would hyphenate "old fashioned."

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 4:49 pm
by Nation of Quebec
Christian Democrats wrote:In my opinion, the issue should be titled "The Violet Mile."

Option 1 -- I would hyphenate "grey haired." Also, this option overuses "scum." Is there a good synonym?

Option 2 -- Who says that the creator deity is the same god who judges souls in @@NAME@@'s religious traditions? :P As far as the effect goes, are there any historical examples of people being burned at the stake for believing in heliocentrism?

Option 3 -- I would hyphenate "old fashioned."


A Green Mile reference could work, but it would have made more sense if I had kept the option for the electric chair.

Hyphens added where appropriate.

The character in #2 is now an over the top Violetist. We haven't had one of them show up recently.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:05 pm
by Christian Democrats
Nation of Quebec wrote:A Green Mile reference could work, but it would have made more sense if I had kept the option for the electric chair.

Yeah, maybe. "The Green Mile," however, is a reference to the death row in the book and the movie. For the sake of the title, you could add to the issue's description that @@NAME@@'s death row is nicknamed the violet mile.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:17 pm
by Nation of Quebec
Christian Democrats wrote:
Nation of Quebec wrote:A Green Mile reference could work, but it would have made more sense if I had kept the option for the electric chair.

Yeah, maybe. "The Green Mile," however, is a reference to the death row in the book and the movie. For the sake of the title, you could add to the issue's description that @@NAME@@'s death row is nicknamed the violet mile.


That's actually a good idea. I've changed around the title and the description. How's it looking?

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:24 pm
by Christian Democrats
Nation of Quebec wrote:
Christian Democrats wrote:Yeah, maybe. "The Green Mile," however, is a reference to the death row in the book and the movie. For the sake of the title, you could add to the issue's description that @@NAME@@'s death row is nicknamed the violet mile.

That's actually a good idea. I've changed around the title and the description. How's it looking?

I like it. I would change "criminal population" to "felons."

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:34 pm
by Nation of Quebec
Christian Democrats wrote:
Nation of Quebec wrote:That's actually a good idea. I've changed around the title and the description. How's it looking?

I like it. I would change "criminal population" to "felons."


Done. Do you have any further comments, or would you say this one is ready for submission?

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 6:08 pm
by Christian Democrats
Nation of Quebec wrote:
Christian Democrats wrote:I like it. I would change "criminal population" to "felons."

Done. Do you have any further comments, or would you say this one is ready for submission?

I'm still wondering if there are any historical examples of people being burned over the heliocentrism/geocentrism debate.

:p

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 6:19 pm
by Nation of Quebec
Christian Democrats wrote:
Nation of Quebec wrote:Done. Do you have any further comments, or would you say this one is ready for submission?

I'm still wondering if there are any historical examples of people being burned over the heliocentrism/geocentrism debate.

:p


NationStates does take place over various fictional worlds and Violetism is a fictional religion, so it's entirely possible that's something they would execute people for. It's a funny, over the top reaction to something that offends their religious beliefs.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 6:29 pm
by Trotterdam
Also speaking of religion, I don't think "The Violet Mile" is such a great title when only one of the execution methods is actually singled out as Violetist.

Incidentally, Violetists haven't previously been partial to burning, as one existing effect line is "government-sponsored gallows are being erected by Violetist temples". (That's for dealing with heretics - their human sacrifices are still done by cutting out the heart with a ceremonial dagger.)

I would again recommend trying to focus on how criminals are being punished rather than who is being punished. I know you're trying to avoid overly explicit cruelty, but I still think that the fact the execution is cruel is more important than that it's being done for petty reasons (we have other issues for that). Going "some people who don't deserve it are being punished" distracts from and cheapens the message of "even people who did commit serious crimes don't deserve this".

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 6:48 pm
by Nation of Quebec
The Violet Mile is not a reference to Violetism, but rather The Green Mile. I think CD changed Green to Violet to reference [violet], as opposed to the fictional religion.

I've changed the character back to having an unspecified religion. For now I think I'll keep it as burning at the stake again while I could go with something more brutal, but again, I don't think the more gruesome execution methods are appropriate for a PG-13 website. It's less about the who, but more the how. I did remove the part about sinners and heathens and replaced it with "evildoers".

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 2:12 pm
by Nation of Quebec
Does anyone have any final comments before I submit this?

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 4:04 pm
by Australian rePublic
Good Luck!

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 8:04 pm
by Trotterdam
So we've spawned three new issue ideas:
1. A followup in which private industries boycott the death penalty by refusing to sell supplies needed for it.
2. An issue about creative forms of nonlethal punishments in a country that doesn't have the death penalty.
3. An issue about forcing or offering convicts to serve in (cheap and expendable) penal battalions.
It's been a productive thread!