Name:
For Want of a Nail
Description:
A recent investigation into a near miss between commercial airplanes (narrowly avoided thanks to skilled pilots) revealed that it was due to an error on the part of an air traffic controller, who in turn was being distracted by his colleague chattering about how hungry he was, which was in turn caused by his colleague's missing packed lunch, which in turn caused by his colleague's wife's temporary incapacity, in turn caused by a finger infection, in turn caused by a broken nail. Thus, the media are dubbing this "the Broken Nail Incident."
Validity:
Not valid for nations that have banned planes or marriage
Options:
[option]"Symptom: fragile keratin. Diagnosis: calcium deficiency," declares medically-untrained Dairy Industry marketing rep @@random_name()@@ with confident certainty, "If you want to avoid these sorts of problems in future, you need to subsidise the dairies so we can increase supply of our products to the populace. Have I got milk? Yes, I have! Have you got the moolah?"
[effect]it is popularly believed that "a cheese a day keeps disaster away"
[optionvalidity]capitalism
[option]"Symptom: fragile keratin. Diagnosis: calcium deficiency," declares medically-untrained State Dairy Director @@random_name()@@ with confident certainty, "If you want to avoid these sorts of problems in future, you need to increase funding to the dairies so we can increase supply of our products to the populace. Have I got milk? Yes, I have! Milk for all the People!"
[effect]it is popularly believed that "a cheese a day keeps disaster away"
[optionvalidity]no capitalism
[option]"Wait? His WIFE made lunch for him? Why couldn't he make his own damn packed lunch?" complains avowed feminist @@random_name(male)@@ as he grumbles through mouthfuls of broccoli and dried figs, "Here is a sign of a sickness in our society, a sickness of patriarchy and chauvinism! You should speak out, and pinpoint gender inequality as the cause of this near-miss. If you, glorious leader, tell the men of this nation they must make their own damn lunches, then they damn well will have to listen!"
[effect]restaurants are not allowed to serve food cooked by female chefs to male customers
[option]"Call me Captain Obvious," says airline pilot Captain Tom Obvious, "but doesn't a near-miss air collision suggest we need to be spending more on air safety? Employ more air traffic controllers working shorter shifts, reduce night-time and bad weather flights, and introduce more safeguards and redundancies. That's how you make things safer."
[effect]pre-takeoff checks on international flights take longer than the flights themselves
[option] "This is Emergence at work," reverently whispers wild-eyed lepidopterometeorologist Professor Frank Benjamin. "Too long has national policy been set by simplistic cause and effect models, when really what we need to be doing is researching the complexity of chaos, the beauty of multiple interacting systems and the madness of the mundane! Fund my research into Chaos Socioeconomics, and I think we can help you make policy decisions that lead to better outcomes, even if they are counter-intuitive at first."
[effect]the government decides its policies by observing the flight of birds
[option]""The only thing emerging here is the Hand of the Divine," counters reasonable sounding priest @@random_name()@@, "My scientist friend here is right that the world is too complex for the science of mankind to explain or predict. Disaster happens or does not, and the 'why' is beyond our understanding. Dispense with air traffic control and electronic systems, and instead require all pilots and passengers to pray before take off and landing. Have faith in a higher power!"
[effect]it's a miracle that there aren't more plane crashes than there are
Original submitted version:
Original Version:
