As a benevolent dictator-in-exile from a virtual world (the charges were dropped after I paid off the maid), my plan for Oubliettica was to nurture Objectivist beliefs and philosophical musings of a select few politically incorrect atheists and freethinkers in a picturesque mountain empire surrounded by a maintenance-free, impenetrable force field of duct tape, Super Glue and my patented quark-boson thawtmissiles designed to protect against STD's, swine flu, invasive alien cultures and spam.
My faithful followers are all fabulously wealthy retired gold miners and blood diamond traders and their concubines. There's no murder rate, certainly NO "public" gross domestic product except when my secretary's pet cat Fluffy hoiks up a hairball. No manufacturing either, unless you call Wolfgang's homemade penny whistles a manufactured product and he gives them away on the Winter Solstice.
We hate trout fishing, preferring instead bluegill and jumbo shrimp that grow to the size of Asian carp in the warmed glacial meltwater. We grow hydroponic strawberries and glow-in-the-dark chocolate mint mushrooms. We raise free-range turduckens that grow fat and happy eating flavonoid-rich tardigrades until, at the tender age of 6 months, their pea brains cause them to pluck themselves completely feather free before instinctively leaping onto the closest empty charcoal grill.
Without my approval, some bot misclassified Oubliettica as an "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy" (DEMOCRACY?!?!) with MILLIONS of apparently fertile, procreating illegals who are being deported via the magiks of extra large teleporters even as I type this. whoosh... there goes another million.
Please, how do I correct the misleading and unflattering things an unknown bot wrote about my new realm before this gets into the CIA World Factbook and data-miners spew it to all four corners of the Internet?
