[DRAFT] Foreign Traders are Left Out

[Qvait]

Rough draft | Final draft

Before I submit this draft, I would like to seek criticism. I do not want the "I hate this!" speech or "I love this!", because I want specific criticism and your directions towards fixing the problems enumerated.

Original

Name:

Foreign Traders are Left at Sea

Description:

For months, the @@REGION@@ Free Trade Agreement has been constantly nagging @@NAME@@ for economic democracy.

Validity:

Not valid for nations who are pro-market.

Options:

[option]"@@LEADER@@ if you want to become involved with fellow @@REGION@@ members, then be involved." says @@RANDOMNAME@@,
a staunch fiscal conservative, who happens to be naked and only wearing a protest sign with a drawing of the @@CURRENCY@@.
"Why else are you a member of the @@REGION@@?"

[effect]guns are publicly smuggled into the nation

[stats]crime increases, economy increases, free marketing increases


[option]"Are you really going to listen to this person?" says your liberal cousin, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You listen to this
person, and the @@POPULATION@@ people in @@NAME@@ will be transported all over in a slave trade. We need to regulate
trade to know what is coming in."

[effect]government sanctions are hurting the economy

[stats]authoritarianism increases, economy decreases, free marketing decreases

Final

Name:

Foreign Traders are Left Out

Description:

For months, the @@REGION@@ Free Trade Agreement has been constantly nagging @@NAME@@ for loosened trade regulations.

Validity:

Not valid for nations who are already pro-market.

Options:

[option]"@@LEADER@@ if you want to become involved with fellow @@REGION@@ members, then be involved," says @@RANDOMNAME@@,
a member of the @@REGION@@ Free Trade Agreement, "There are writers who don’t live in @@NAME@@ that @@POPULATION@@ people
never heard of. Let them be heard."

[effect]citizens spend time trying to read foreign language book titles

[stats]book publishing increases, economy increases somewhat, employment increases, free marketing increases


[option]"When books come in, people will be too distracted when reading them," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a notable economist,
"Instead, we need companies coming here, so we can work and make money, and not become lazy."

[effect]a wealth gap is widening

[stats]economy increases, employment increases, free marketing increases, income equality decreases, manufacturing increases


[option]"Are you really going to listen to them?" says your cousin, @@RANDOMNAME@@, "You listen to this
person, and the @@POPULATION@@ people in @@NAME@@ will be transported all over in a slave trade. We need to regulate
trade to know what is coming in."

[effect]government sanctions are hurting the economy

[stats]authoritarianism increases, economy decreases, free marketing decreases


[option]"I agree, but that's not enough," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, while juggling scissors right in front of you, "When
foreign objects enter our nation, what will happen to our culture? I say you leave the @@REGION@@ Free Trade Agreement."

[effect]a cultural renaissance is occurring

[stats]culture increases, economy decreases, free marketing decreases heavily

[Kesshite]

Are you worried that someone else on this board is going to steal your issue?

I would change 'economic democracy' to 'loosened trade regulations,' as that seems to be what your issue is about.

I'd increase the number of participants to four and attempt to find a new angle other than 'this person says less trade regulation' and 'this person says more trade regulation.' I'd also make them more interesting than 'the conservative fellow' and 'the liberal fellow.'

How about making the first speaker a member of the @REGION@ Free Trade Association? Give this person a specific thing they desire - a change in tariffs, a specific import/export, or less having to deal with government officials.

Here are some other angles that might interest you:
1. A person specifically worried about cultural imperialism. They believe that foreign goods and entertainment takes away from your nation's unique culture and that you should create/support a nationalized entity to protect yourself from foreign influence.

2. A person who believes it's important to be self-sufficient. They specifically want to stop importing national resources and to build up your nation's manufacturing base.

3. A person who believes foreign companies are harmful. They see them as not respecting the workers and accuse them of neglect and abuse because the owners care more about the well-being of people of their own nationality.

4. A business owner who wants to set up branches in other countries for low-skilled work while setting up training programs to help native workers transition to more lucrative work.

5. A random college student who wants to set up an online business where they can make goods that are illegal in other countries easily available to citizens of that country. For example, if there's a birth control pill freely available in your nation, said college student would like to be able to sell it to people in nations where it's restricted/illegal.

[Qvait]

Are you worried that someone else on this board is going to steal your issue?

I would change 'economic democracy' to 'loosened trade regulations,' as that seems to be what your issue is about.

I'd increase the number of participants to four and attempt to find a new angle other than 'this person says less trade regulation' and 'this person says more trade regulation.' I'd also make them more interesting than 'the conservative fellow' and 'the liberal fellow.'

How about making the first speaker a member of the @REGION@ Free Trade Association? Give this person a specific thing they desire - a change in tariffs, a specific import/export, or less having to deal with government officials.

Here are some other angles that might interest you:
1. A person specifically worried about cultural imperialism. They believe that foreign goods and entertainment takes away from your nation's unique culture and that you should create/support a nationalized entity to protect yourself from foreign influence.

2. A person who believes it's important to be self-sufficient. They specifically want to stop importing national resources and to build up your nation's manufacturing base.

3. A person who believes foreign companies are harmful. They see them as not respecting the workers and accuse them of neglect and abuse because the owners care more about the well-being of people of their own nationality.

4. A business owner who wants to set up branches in other countries for low-skilled work while setting up training programs to help native workers transition to more lucrative work.

5. A random college student who wants to set up an online business where they can make goods that are illegal in other countries easily available to citizens of that country. For example, if there's a birth control pill freely available in your nation, said college student would like to be able to sell it to people in nations where it's restricted/illegal.

Thank you for that input, revisions will be made.

[Freemopia]

First read:

Remove the scroll thing so it’s easier to read.
The title says traders left at sea
I was assuming this would be about trade at sea
I started reading it and was confused.
The first option makes no sense to me. I don’t know what it is talking about.

Not donk off? After reading the second option I’m wondering if this draft is suppose to make no sense.

I laughed a bit at the scissor thing just because it was out of no where and didn’t fit in. I laughed again at this sentence. Laughing is good.

2nd read:
The description makes me think this is about loosen trade with in the region example exports imports.

Reword: “There are writers that @@POPULATION@@ people never heard of. Let them be heard." To: There are writers who don’t live in @@NAME@@ that @@POPULATION@@ people never heard of. Let them be heard."

Maybe not all regions include seas, reword it to Foreign Traders are Left out.

Change donk off, use words that people actually know.
Remove wait from the beginning of option 2.

Why is this effect for option 2? [effect] rich are becoming richer while the poor are becoming poorer

Option 1 Free trade isn’t going to cause employment to go down. If free marketing and economy goes up-that means employment goes up.

Try to make the whole thing funnier.

For additional consideration, Freemopia has open migration and open exports, and Freemopia has tariffs on all non-live-animal imports, excluding at least $33,000 man made property value allowance for immigrant’s personal property. (To help keep jobs in Freemopia).
Freemopia bans imports of $ and products that can readily be made in Freemopia or neutral nations, from Foes. Freemopia puts high tariffs on imports from foes.