[Draft] Expanding @@NATION@@ to outer-space?

[St James]

I just came up with this idea, tell me what you guys think!

This won't be used for the people that stopped looking into outer-space

[name]Expanding @@NATION@@ to outer-space?

[description]Famous astrophysicists from @@NATION@@'s top schools have come to you with the idea of building houses on nearby planets. All they ask is money.

[option] 1. "This will be perfect for @@NATION@@, just think, we could be the strongest nation in @@REGION@@!" says famed scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@ as she walks into your office. "We will also be the most advanced, we might even find aliens! We could be trading with other planets and boy, would that give our economy a boost. We will be famous in @@REGION@@ for our new-found city on a different planet! I'll even let you name it! You know, maybe you could fund some of this..."
[effect]Scientists are spending the tax money to build rocket ships with houses built on them.
[status]Taxes go way up

[option] 2. "This is insane," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the "This is our money!" club. "Did you ever think how much this will cost? I am going pay a butt-load of money so you can do what? Fly into outer-space to find aliens that don't exist! This is a no-brainier! Just shut up those scientist, with the taxes I am already paying, and pretend this never happened."
[effect]Rumors of lost scientists are all round
major cities
[status]Civil rights go down

[option] 3. "That is good, but we need to go farther," says holy man, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We can't let these "scientists" do whatever they want! We can't just fly into outer-space, the good Lord put us on the earth and that is where we will stay! You must stone these people! For the good of @@NATION@@, and to rid it of heathen humans!
[effect]People are getting stoned for looking into space.
[statues]Civil rights go way down.

[option] 4. "Why not totally leave the earth, I mean, after we use all the fossil feuls, we could just go to different planets and stay there until we can't use their fuels!" says "Outer-Space Eaters" fanatic, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Just like the movie, "Outer-Space Eaters 2" when Commander Jock watches the aliens eat his home-planet! We could stay on the planets and take away all of their fuels just like the aliens! This will be perfect!"
[effect]People line up to find out which planet they will go to next.
[statues]Environment spending goes down.

[Slembana]

This issue looks very good.

[St James]

This issue looks very good.

Thanks!

[Slembana]

This issue looks very good.

Thanks!

You're welcome.

[St James]

Does anyone know how to submit it? I know it isn't ready yet, but I just want to know so I can when it is ready.

[Goodclark]

Does anyone know how to submit it? I know it isn't ready yet, but I just want to know so I can when it is ready.

Click on "issues" then it should say "Want to contribute an Issue to NationStates?" Then click on that then sha-bam! You got an issue.

[United States of Natan]

hmm, pretty good.

[St James]

Thanks to both of you!


Another question: Do you know if there is any people that could look at this and make some edits or help me with it?

[United States of Natan]

Luna Amore

[Sedgistan]

Read the threads pinned in this forum. They'll help.

[New Shemiki]

I like this issue. Can't find any major problems.

[Luna Amore]

You're missing the [name] and [description] fields. What issue is being brought to the leader?

I see you've edited those in. That said, this draft seems like a hybrid of Issue #038 and #081.

[St James]

You're missing the [name] and [description] fields. What issue is being brought to the leader?

I see you've edited those in. That said, this draft seems like a hybrid of Issue #038 and #081.

Yes, they are similar, but #038 is just saying to build a a space program, and #081 is asking what to do about an alien sighting.

[Panageadom]

Isn't the premise also similar to that Easter Egg about cities on the Moon?

[St James]

Isn't the premise also similar to that Easter Egg about cities on the Moon?

Could I have a link to that issue? I don't know which one that is.

[Luna Amore]

You're missing the [name] and [description] fields. What issue is being brought to the leader?

I see you've edited those in. That said, this draft seems like a hybrid of Issue #038 and #081.

Yes, they are similar, but #038 is just saying to build a a space program, and #081 is asking what to do about an alien sighting.

The descriptions are similar is my point.

In the existing issues a UFO sighting and a science fiction show prompt the push for more funding. Yours is prompted by a 'alien' sighting as well. The major difference is yours assumes much more than can be based on your text. 'Alien' sighted ---> We should build colonies off-planet and trade with aliens. You're skipping quite a few steps there.

Some other concerns:
- the description says an alien was sighted, but the rest of the issue assumes no aliens have been found
- no option should have 'nothing happens' in the stats. Nothing changing is the dismiss button.
- none of the options seem geared to sway the leader of the country.
option 1 over-reaches the description quite a lot,
option 2 'It'll cost too much; let's make scientists disappear'
option 3 'Nah, let's stone them'
option 4 'Let's do what I saw in a B movie'

Isn't the premise also similar to that Easter Egg about cities on the Moon?

Could I have a link to that issue? I don't know which one that is.

Issue #256.

I'm not too worried about that one.

[St James]

Yes, they are similar, but #038 is just saying to build a a space program, and #081 is asking what to do about an alien sighting.

The descriptions are similar is my point.

In the existing issues a UFO sighting and a science fiction show prompt the push for more funding. Yours is prompted by a 'alien' sighting as well. The major difference is yours assumes much more than can be based on your text. 'Alien' sighted ---> We should build colonies off-planet and trade with aliens. You're skipping quite a few steps there.

Some other concerns:
- the description says an alien was sighted, but the rest of the issue assumes no aliens have been found
- no option should have 'nothing happens' in the stats. Nothing changing is the dismiss button.
- none of the options seem geared to sway the leader of the country.
option 1 over-reaches the description quite a lot,
option 2 'It'll cost too much; let's make scientists disappear'
option 3 'Nah, let's stone them'
option 4 'Let's do what I saw in a B movie'

What steps am I skipping?

What do you mean "Over-reaches"?

I think you're exaggerating on the option 2, the reason that they want the scientists gone is because they don't want it to happen.

Option 3, it isn't "Nah, let's stone them" it is, "God doesn't want this to happen, we must make it stop."

I don't understand what you mean by "B movie"

(I edited out the "Nothing happens")

[Luna Amore]

What steps am I skipping?

What do you mean "Over-reaches"?

The description simply says an 'alien' was spotted. The first option is talking about the economic benefits of trading with an alien civilization. That's skipping from the Apollo program to Star Trek in one choice.

I think you're exaggerating on the option 2, the reason that they want the scientists gone is because they don't want it to happen.

Because it would cost too much. It would cost too much so let's make them disappear.

Option 3, it isn't "Nah, let's stone them" it is, "God doesn't want this to happen, we must make it stop."

Otherwise known as the 'nah, let's stone them' option. It feels forced and doesn't actually acknowledge the description. The 'alien' sighting is the topic.

I don't understand what you mean by "B movie"

B Movie.

[St James]

The 'alien' sighting is the topic.

I disagree, the topic is scientists asking for funding to create homes on efferent planets. The alien sighting is just what sparked the debate.

[Ammar]

Approved!

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

The 'alien' sighting is the topic.

I disagree, the topic is scientists asking for funding to create homes on efferent planets. The alien sighting is just what sparked the debate.

Then the description needs to be more relevant to the topic at hand.
It's a bit misleading as is.
>see alien
>let's build on the moon
There's a bit of a disconnect.

[Ammar]

I disagree, the topic is scientists asking for funding to create homes on efferent planets. The alien sighting is just what sparked the debate.

Then the description needs to be more relevant to the topic at hand.
It's a bit misleading as is.
>see alien
>let's build on the moon
There's a bit of a disconnect.

Who cares?

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

Then the description needs to be more relevant to the topic at hand.
It's a bit misleading as is.
>see alien
>let's build on the moon
There's a bit of a disconnect.

Who cares?

Me and the people who will be approving or denying and (possibly) editing it.
There's only 325 issues even though there's been over three million nations because only the best of the best get through.

[Luna Amore]

The 'alien' sighting is the topic.

I disagree, the topic is scientists asking for funding to create homes on efferent planets. The alien sighting is just what sparked the debate.

I agree with Umbra then. The description needs serious editing.

Right now it's centered around a vague alien sighting which doesn't particularly line up with the issue choices.

Who cares?

The acceptance rate of issue drafts this past year was something like 2.5%. I'll give any advice I can that might improve someone's odds.

[St James]

I edited it, is it better?