NationStates

This is based off Newt Gingrich's suggestion to build lunar colonies. If you ask me, that was just begging to be made into an issue. Perhaps this one may work better as an easter egg. I had alot of fun writing this issue and you can probably tell it's more on the comedic side of things than my other issues.

1st Draft:



2nd draft:



3rd draft:

[name] Straight To The Moon!

[description] In response to a slow news week, astronaut turned senator James Picard made a suggestion to build lunar colonies. The suggestion has since become a viral hit. While most responses have been satirical in nature, there are some in the scientific community who believe that lunar colonization may become a necessity as @@NAME@@'s resources are quickly running out.

[validity] Valid for nations with an interest in outer space

[option]"Colonizing the moon makes perfect sense," reiterates Picard as he folds out a massive blueprint on your desk. "Let's face it. With a population of @@POPULATION@@ and growing we're rapidly running out of resources and space. The only place left to go is the stars! Sure, it'll be very expensive and some will even say it is impossible, but @@NAME@@ has shown time and time again that nothing is impossible! And once we've colonized the moon, Mars and all those new exoplanets are ripe for the taking!"
[effect]the numerous rocketships in orbit are often mistaken for new constellations
[stats]economy decreases, taxes increase, information technology industry increases, quality of the environment decreases, apathy decreases, unemployment decreases, deaths due to space shuttle mishap increase significantly

[option]"Surely you aren't going to waste the taxpayer's @@CURRENCY@@s on this science-fiction mumbo jumbo?" asks spendophobic conservative talk show host, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We've worked too hard to allow crazy ideas like these bankrupt our economy. We need to put a stop to this fancy smanchy space program entirely! Why waste so many @@CURRENCY@@s just so some guys can stand on a rock? Trust me, we're better off in our own little corner of the universe."
[effect]the space program now consists of trained @@ANIMALS@@ literally reaching for the moon
[stats]economy increases, information technology industry decreases, taxes decrease, quality of the environment increases, unemployment increases, deaths to space shuttle mishap drop to zero

[option]"Cut the space program and let @@NAME@@'s enemies dominate us in the space race?" fumes General @@RANDOMNAME@@, slamming a fist on your desk. "We all know that those Maxtopians have plans to weaponize space. I say we need to beat them to the punch. We need moon bases alright. Fully armed and operational missile bases that is! After all, it would be easier to launch payloads from an orbiting death station and those science geeks keep telling me that a smaller payload could do a helluva lot of damage, if it was dropped from that high! @@LEADER@@, just consider the advantage this would give us over any nation who would dare oppose us!"
[effect]the moon has become known as the Death Star due to @@NAME@@'s new lunar missile bases
[stats]economy decreases, taxes increase, defense spending increases, most avoided decreases slightly, safest ranking increases slightly, most pacifist ranking decreases, deaths due to space shuttle mishap increase

[option]"Once again this sounds like a job for the private sector," suggests manufacturing tycoon @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I'm sure with the right investments we can find better, safer, and more cost-effective methods of colonizing the moon. When you consider the fact that private companies are already offering space tourism flights, colonizing the moon won't be too far behind."
[effect]every kid with a model rocketship is hoping to take advantage of government incentives in the new space race
[stats]economy increases slightly, information technology industry increases slightly, economic freedoms increase, deaths due to space shuttle mishap increases, quality of the environment decreases[/quote]

Constructive criticism is always welcome.

The 206 residents of The Moon aren't going to be fond of this issue. Eh, we can live with that.

More constructively, I've noticed that you really like macros in your effect lines. Most of the time they're not necessary and get edited out. Bear in mind your National Happenings, which start each issue line with "<timestamp>: Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, <effect>". The nation name macro is included by default. The other place your effect lines appear are in your own nation overview, which has your nation name in big letters right there at the top. Your effect could also be shortened in other ways - remember that it's a single clause nested with three others.

The other thing I notice off the bat is that all your random proponents speak with the same voice and/or mannerisms. Remember that each of them is facing you, the national leader, and they have a variety of relationships and comfort levels with their Leader. The odd nervous pause or confident swagger, expressed as personalization within the voice, works well in any number of issues.

It's a good issue. Looking forward to the next draft.

Made some changes based on Fris' suggestions. There characters should now be more unique and the wording should flow better. I've also finally found a way to incorporate the elusive "death by space shuttle mishap" stat into an issue.

A little light criticism...

Nation of Quebec wrote:This is based off Newt Gingrich's suggestion to build lunar colonies. If you ask me, that was just begging to be made into an issue. Perhaps this one may work better as an easter egg. I had alot of fun writing this issue and you can probably tell it's more on the comedic side of things than my other issues.

1st Draft:

[name] Straight To The Moon!

[description] In response to a slow news week, astronaut turned senator James Picard made a suggestion to build lunar colonies. The suggestion has since become a national headline as scientists, population control experts, and science fiction fans weigh in on the idea.

[validity] Valid for nations with an interest in outer space

[option]"Colonizing the moon makes perfect sense," reiterates Picard as he folds out a massive blueprint on your desk. "Let's face it. With a population of @@POPULATION@@ and growing we're rapidly running out of resources and space. The only place left to go is the stars! Not only would this help with an eventual population crisis, it would put @@NAME@@ up front in the space race Why is this important? There are obviously arguments for and against, but you might want to make them more explicit: not every issues reader wanting to be convinced is a space fan.. Sure, it'll be very expensive and some will even say it is impossible, but @@NAME@@ has shown time and time again that nothing is impossible!" I think this option suffers from runaway train syndrome. Why stop at the Moon? I think we need a little fleshing out here. Either the option isn't a runaway train, in which case there needs to be clear reasons for colonising the Moon, but not just flinging colony ships into the great beyond. Alternatively, it is a runaway train, and the Moon is only the first step on a broader program of colonisation.
[effect]it is a common sight to see massive rocketships take off to the moon in @@NAME@@'s coastal cities
[stats]economy decreases, taxes increase, information technology industry increases, uranium mining industry increases, quality of the environment decreases, apathy decreases, unemployment decreases

[option]"My word, do you have any idea how much this would cost!" cries your Finance Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@ while showing you multiple statistical charts. "This would bankrupt us! In fact, we'd be alot better off financially if we cut funding towards the space program and put it towards more useful things."
[effect]@@NAME@@'s space program now consists of trained @@ANIMALS@@ literally reaching for the moon
[stats]economy increases, information technology industry decreases, taxes decrease, quality of the environment increases, unemployment increases

[option]"Now hold on there a minute," shouts General @RANDOMNAME@@, head of the space division of @@NAME@@'s military. "Forget moon bases. What @@NAME@@ needs is to protect itself not just on land, sea, and air, but in space! We've received intel that Maxtopia is currently planning to build fully armed space stations and space ships! We mustn't let those Maxtopians beat us to the punch. I need your permission to send an elite team of top commandos to raid their facilities and steal those plans so we can build ships of our own! All we need for @@NAME@@ to dominate space is for you to sign here."
[effect]@@NAME@@'s armed forces have raided Maxtopian army bases only to find props from science-fiction movies instead of top-secret blueprints
[stats]defense spending increases, most avoided decreases slightly, safest ranking increases slightly, most pacifist ranking decreases

[option]"I think the General has been watching too many spy movies for his own good," remarks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a scientist seen wearing a bow tie, Spock ears, and a t-shirt bearing the slogan "The Truth Is Out There". "While I agree that the prospect of colonizing the moon is fascinating, it simply isn't economically feasible. Perhaps if the government would be generous enough to fund some studies and give us some grants we might find an easier, more cost effective way to colonize the solar system."
[effect]the government is making heavy investments in the scientific community in the hopes of colonizing space
[stats]economy decreases, taxes increase very slightly, information technology industry increases slightly, most cultured ranking increases slightly, most intelligent ranking increases slightly

[name] Straight To The Moon!

[description] In response to a slow news week, astronaut turned senator James Picard made a suggestion to build lunar colonies. The suggestion has since become a national headline as scientists, population control experts, and science fiction fans weigh in on the idea.

[validity] Valid for nations with an interest in outer space

[option]"Colonizing the moon makes perfect sense," reiterates Picard as he folds out a massive blueprint on your desk. "Let's face it. With a population of @@POPULATION@@ and growing we're rapidly running out of resources and space. The only place left to go is the stars! Not only would this help with an eventual population crisis, it would put @@NAME@@ up front in the space race Why is this important? There are obviously arguments for and against, but you might want to make them more explicit: not every issues reader wanting to be convinced is a space fan.. Sure, it'll be very expensive and some will even say it is impossible, but @@NAME@@ has shown time and time again that nothing is impossible!"
[effect]the numerous rocketships in orbit are often mistaken for new constellations I think this option suffers from runaway train syndrome. Why stop at the Moon? I think we need a little fleshing out here. Either the option isn't a runaway train, in which case there needs to be clear reasons for colonising the Moon, but not just flinging colony ships into the great beyond. Alternatively, it is a runaway train, and the Moon is only the first step on a broader program of colonisation.
[stats]economy decreases, taxes increase, information technology industry increases, uranium mining industry increases, quality of the environment decreases, apathy decreases, unemployment decreases, deaths due to space shuttle mishap increase significantly

[option]"Surely you aren't going to waste the taxpayer's @@CURRENCY@@s on this science-fiction mumbo jumbo?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, your astrophobic Finance Minister. "We've worked too hard to allow crazy ideas like these bankrupt our economy. We need to put a stop to this fancy smanchy space program entirely! Why waste so many @@CURRENCY@@s just so some guys can stand on a rock? Trust me, we're better off on our own planet, feet solidly on the ground (just a suggestion)." A strong character, but I wonder slightly whether I'm listening to a finance minister or a conservative radio show host.
[effect]the space program now consists of trained @@ANIMALS@@ literally reaching for the moon Lovely. For some reason, this makes me think of 2001.
[stats]economy increases, information technology industry decreases, taxes decrease, quality of the environment increases, unemployment increases, deaths to space shuttle mishap drop to zero

[option]"Cut the space program and let @@NAME@@'s enemies dominate us in the space race?" fumes General @@RANDOMNAME@@, slamming a fist on your desk. "We all know that those Maxtopians have plans to weaponize space. I say we need to beat them to the punch. We need moon bases alright. Fully armed and operational missile bases that is! After all, it would be easier to launch payloads from an orbiting death station and gravity would mean far bigger explosions and those eggheads keep telling me that a smaller payload could do a helluva lot of damage, if it was dropped from that high! (Just a rather lengthy suggestion. The currently wording seems clunky). @@LEADER@@, just consider the advantage this would give us over any nation who would dare oppose us!"
[effect]the moon has become known as the Death Star due to @@NAME@@'s new lunar missile bases
[stats]economy decreases, taxes increase, defense spending increases, most avoided decreases slightly, safest ranking increases slightly, most pacifist ranking decreases, deaths due to space shuttle mishap increase

[option]"Nukes on the moon sounds incredibly dangerous," warns astronomer and moon enthusiast @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I'd hate to see what would happen to our dear moon if ones of those nukes has an accident or our enemies retaile against us. Instead we should be conducting further studies to find easier, more cost effective ways so that moon bases can one day become a reality. All we need is some generous funding from the government." Possibly needs a more explicit case for why Moon colonisation at the moment is silly (e.g. technological capacity). At the moment, it kinda of comes off at as a milder option 1, rather than a distinct argument [which it is].
[effect]moon fever is sweeping the nation as scientists armed with government grants research lunar colonization
[stats]economy decreases, taxes increase very slightly, information technology industry increases slightly, most cultured ranking increases slightly, most intelligent ranking increases slightly, most pacifist ranking increases slightly

Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Panageadom wrote:A little light criticism...

Good points. Changes made based on your suggestions.

Bumping for additional comments and suggestions before submission. Is there anything else that needs a second look?

The stats don't really add up. Three of the choices decrease economy despite an increase in one or more industries. The second option increases economy without any clear reason. The fourth option has intelligence and culture boosts with no mention in the choice.

The arguments for the choices need focusing. The first guy is a bit redundant and all over the place. The second could be more forceful, especially in the first line. The last speaker should be more sure of the negative impacts.

I'm also concerned the first and last options are too similar. They're essentially arguing the same thing, just on different time scales. Maybe replace the last one with a private sector option?

Finally able to get on to make a new draft. Some changes have been made. Removed the last option and replaced it with a private sector option, although this option needs negative stat effects. Some minor wording changes have been made as well.

Environmental damage and deaths from space shuttle mishap could probably increase with option 4 as well, perhaps even worse environmental hits (if there are lots of competing rockets)?

Zwangzug wrote:Environmental damage and deaths from space shuttle mishap could probably increase with option 4 as well, perhaps even worse environmental hits (if there are lots of competing rockets)?

Good points, and likewise the quality of the environment would increase for option two, with no shuttles polluting the atmosphere.

PLEASE tell me you've submitted this. I'd love a good lunar colonization issue.

Lunar expansion is an amazing idea! Why didn't I think of it... Anyway, good job on making this issue. I especially liked the part about James Picard.

After reading this one again, I've decided that I'm happy with the final draft. Submitted.