The Writers' Block

by **Pogaria** » Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:10 pm

Trotterdam wrote:
Pogaria wrote:#2: "O Captain! My Captain!" shouts Pogaria as he stands on his desk, almost knocking over the lamp. "Though thy wing'd visage did desist into the land of Ceased to Exist, your progeny shall maintain a blessed mem'ry of thy reign. Your hatred of clichés we take to heart, while treating grammar as an art. We'll miss your advice and every kind word. Violet save me; I'm such a nerd."
Thou'rt being inconsistent in thy pronouns.

Which explains the effect line. I haven't taken a proper English class in almost 15 years.

Anyways, this isn't a real issue for the game. It's just something we wrote for fun.

by **Australian rePublic** » Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:32 pm

Gnejs wrote:As we've all been made aware, Sedgistan has retired from all his staff positions, and left the game.

Sedge was our leader, and our friend. To show how much we appreciated him as a leader, and appreciate him as a friend, we decided to pay tribute to him the only way we know how - by writing an issue:
Title: Oh Captain! My Captain!

The debate:
It has come to light that Sedgistan - Hero Of The People - is stepping down from his position as Editor Of Words and Dispenser Of Justice. A plethora of his associates has gathered to discuss strategies, and to console one another.

Validity: Must be Sedgistan

#1: "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" yells a pale-looking Sanctaria. "So I journeyed cross the river Styx and back to the land of the living for what? Sedge going the other way?! Unacceptable. Code up some hunter bots, make them find him and drag him back here!"
Effect: Sedge has taken to hiding on the Dark Web in fear of [violet]'s blood hounds

#2: "O Captain! My Captain!" shouts Pogaria as he stands on his desk, almost knocking over the lamp. "Though thy wing'd visage did desist into the land of Ceased to Exist, your progeny shall maintain a blessed mem'ry of thy reign. Your hatred of clichés we take to heart, while treating grammar as an art. We'll miss your advice and every kind word. Violet save me; I'm such a nerd."
Effect: potential Issues Editors are now required to submit an essay on the dangers of writing poetry while under the influence of an engineering career

#3: "With all tragedy comes opportunity," calmly states Candlewhisper Archive, staring at you with that creepy mechanical eye of his. "We all know Sedge. His writing style, his humour and his quirks. With some team effort, I'm positive we'll be able to create an AI in his image that will be able to carry on his legacy. We could even program him to get to work on my backlog of submitted issues. We'll get more issues in the game, and we'll usher in a new era of NS-kind. It's win-win, really."
Effect: issues edited by the new SedgeBot 9000 just aren't the same

#4: "It's all part of the circle of life," hums Ransium while planting a tree on top of another tree. "Some of us fall by the wayside, and some of us soar to the stars. It was Sedgistan's time to step down, as it will one day be mine and yours. Still," he continues as he pats the earth around the planted tree, "I dedicate this one to Sedgistan, may you live to be old and spend many days in the warmth of the sun."
Effect: foresters in @@NAME@@ busily plant hundreds of memorial trees per hour

#5: "Sedge gone? Hmm, pity, pity," muses Helaw, looking up from his draft on Commend The NS Editing Team. "Without the real muscle, I should be able to argue the rest of the moderation team into the ground. Right, splendid. Be right back."
Effect: the SC submissions queue is clogged with drafts to condemn Sedgistan's editing work for "bullshit right-wing communist biazz"

#6: "Rest assured, Sedge is in a better place," soothes The Grim Reaper, while ordering his minions to fetch The Cowbell of Eternal Damnation. "The Fallen Angel of NS will of course be assigned the noblest of tasks within my dominion. As The Prince of Darkness, he will rule by my side, forever..."
Effect: the soul of Sedge is trapped playing covers of Blue Öyster Cult in Hell

#7: Yeah, Sedge is gone? So what, I don't care," sulks Gnejs, in a tone of voice that clearly indicates that he does care. "Where was all the uproar when the others left? No jokes about Golgothastan being crucified? Sleep oversleeping? No 'Catcher in the Wye'? What's so special about Sedge? Let's just switch all instances of Brasilistan to Sedgistan, that'll serve him right for leaving us. No, I don't miss him. Shut up."
Effect: the citizens of Sedgistan go through an eternal recurrence of nuclear annihilation

#8: "It shouldn't be too hard to fix this," whispers Joy, sticking her head up - meerkat-like - from behind a teetering pile of books, which she has been using to conceal herself from a documentary maker hoping to film the Lesser-Spotted Editor. "Simply alter Sedge's initial announcement. Let's see: add the word 'not', remove the word 'for', put a period there, capitalise that. Now his announcement reads: 'I'm not leaving. Good'. There! That has a much nicer flow."
Effect: issues editors are eagerly awaiting Sedge's return from his strangely-long holiday

#9: "‪How can our squad carry on without our boss?" sighs Zwangzug, control-Fing as a mad individual might. "It was that guy who could find a way for all of our trains to run on...at a good hour, um...what I'm saying is, you probably ought to fund our public transit units, for all us woodsy-conscious car-banning folks. Yup."‬
‪Effect: ghost trains in honor of mods from past days and months run at all hours‬

#10: "Aren't we ignoring the elephant in the room?" questions Caracasus, busy flipping through the team's My First Dictionary looking for naughty words. "It's not like Sedge got an awful lot of love or recompense for his tireless efforts. Maybe we can tempt him back with a competitive salary, the occasional massive yacht and launch codes to government cruise missiles to deal with critics? Better yet, why not roll that out across the whole team."
Effect: issue production has sunk to a new low as cocktail consumption skyrockets

#11: "I miss Sedge as much as the next editor," says NoQ, taking a break from reading his entire catalogue of published issues out-loud. "But you must admit that he could be kind of a reactionary when it comes to issues. Not all the time, but you know, refusing to get rid of 'gypsies' in that one issue? And don't get me started on that time when he named your distant colony 'Oogaboogaland'. In 2017? Come on. Let's celebrate his accomplishments, of course, but can we please do something about all that stuff? I have a list right here…"
Effect: Sedge has miraculously returned - sword in hand - to defend the use of pink lab coats and feather boas across the issue base

#12: "Wait, what, where is Sej?" wails the almost fully materialized spectre of Comrade Lenyo, back from a few months of haunting Europe. "Gone? That's so sad. We must honor him! I've got it! What about removing the delete button, that'd make over 6.000 more... No, wait, that was that other issue. Besides, Sej would hate that. Maybe we can just force all nations to fly his flag, all the time?"
Effect: NS is often mistaken for an online Led Zeppelin cult

#13: "I can't believe none of you used the @@ANIMAL@@-macro, not even once," gasps Luna Amore, shaking his head in disbelief. "So, you're doing an issue in tribute to Sedge, and you don't include his favorite part? Seriously, it's like you don't even know him. Bad editors; Sedge would've been so disappointed."
Effect: Sedgistan has disavowed the entire editing team for their failure to adequately uphold his legacy

You can't dismiss the Sedge.
Written and slightly edited by: The NS Editing Team

What a tribute!!

by **Australian rePublic** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 5:12 am

I was thinking of writing an issue about dredging a river in order to increase navigability

Option 1- Dredge- good for economy
Option 2- Don't dredge- bad for environment

What do you guys think?

by **Candlewhisper Archive** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 6:53 am

Australian Republic wrote:I was thinking of writing an issue about dredging a river in order to increase navigability

Option 1- Dredge- good for economy
Option 2- Don't dredge- bad for environment

What do you guys think?

Sure, good premise. Depends on execution, of course.

by **Caracasus** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 6:54 am

Wacky 3rd option: Hovercraft!

by **Drasnia** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:25 am

Caracasus wrote:Wacky 3rd option: Hovercraft!

That . . . makes way too much sense in a wacky nonsensical sort of way.

by **Caracasus** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:27 am

Drasnia wrote:
Caracasus wrote:Wacky 3rd option: Hovercraft!

That . . . makes way too much sense in a wacky nonsensical sort of way.

Not if you mandate hovercraft over every other form of waterborne travel.

by **Bears Armed** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:51 am

How would the editors feel about two issues on the same theme but with mutually exclusive validity (i.e. 'private enterprise allowed' vs. 'private enterprise banned') having the same title? Okay, or -- when I get around to posting them here, which I'll do once I've got suggestions in place for all of the effect lines -- would I need to find a second title as well?
I'll tell you now that the title I have in mind is For Peat's Sake... and that no, that middle word doesn't contain a typo...

by **Australian rePublic** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:51 am

Drasnia wrote:
Caracasus wrote:Wacky 3rd option: Hovercraft!

That . . . makes way too much sense in a wacky nonsensical sort of way.

Until you realise how much weught it would have to carry

by **Trotterdam** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:49 am

Drasnia wrote:That . . . makes way too much sense in a wacky nonsensical sort of way.

Those are the best options!

by **Candlewhisper Archive** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 12:44 pm

Bears Armed wrote:How would the editors feel about two issues on the same theme but with mutually exclusive validity (i.e. 'private enterprise allowed' vs. 'private enterprise banned') having the same title?

I'd be extremely excited by the experimentation in issue structuring, and would be encouraging it every step of the way, especially if there are clever links between the issues that are creative and funny.

by **Pogaria** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 6:17 pm

Caracasus wrote:Wacky 3rd option: Hovercraft!

Watch out for the eels.

by **Fauxia** » Thu Sep 14, 2017 7:26 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Bears Armed wrote:How would the editors feel about two issues on the same theme but with mutually exclusive validity (i.e. 'private enterprise allowed' vs. 'private enterprise banned') having the same title?

I'd be extremely excited by the experimentation in issue structuring, and would be encouraging it every step of the way, especially if there are clever links between the issues that are creative and funny.

I concur.

Pogaria wrote:
Caracasus wrote:Wacky 3rd option: Hovercraft!

Watch out for the eels.

Hi Pogaria! You don't post much...

by **Mousebumples** » Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:14 am

Pogaria wrote:
Caracasus wrote:Wacky 3rd option: Hovercraft!

Watch out for the eels.

The Shrieking Eels ? :lol:

by **Fauxia** » Fri Sep 15, 2017 2:59 pm

Mousebumples wrote:
Pogaria wrote:Watch out for the eels.

The Shrieking Eels ?

No more Princess Bride references, I mean it!

by **Drasnia** » Fri Sep 15, 2017 3:10 pm

Fauxia wrote:
Mousebumples wrote:The Shrieking Eels ?
No more Princess Bride references, I mean it!

Does anybody want a peanut?

by **Fauxia** » Fri Sep 15, 2017 3:15 pm

Drasnia wrote:
Fauxia wrote:No more Princess Bride references, I mean it!

Does anybody want a peanut?

Gahh!

by **Pogaria** » Fri Sep 15, 2017 8:38 pm

Fauxia wrote:
Pogaria wrote:Watch out for the eels.
Hi Pogaria! You don't post much...

Nope. I'm too busy editing issues. (And, you know, doing real life stuff.)

by **Australian rePublic** » Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:41 pm

I haven't seen the princess bride, so I don't know references. If you want references in this issue, and you know some. Telegram me

by **Caracasus** » Sat Sep 16, 2017 2:24 am

Australian Republic wrote:I haven't seen the princess bride, so I don't know references. If you want references in this issue, and you know some. Telegram me

Even better Aussie, watch it! Trust me, It is a classic for a reason.

by **Australian rePublic** » Sat Sep 16, 2017 4:19 am

Caracasus wrote:
Australian Republic wrote:I haven't seen the princess bride, so I don't know references. If you want references in this issue, and you know some. Telegram me

Even better Aussie, watch it! Trust me, It is a classic for a reason.

Not that easy, mate

by **Badly Bearhaved** » Sat Sep 16, 2017 5:01 am

Say I want to write an issue about charismatic megafauna - basically, cuddly big animals that everyone likes. Is it too much to assume that @@ANIMAL@@ is fluffy and well-liked? I figure there aren't any validities for that.

by **Caracasus** » Sat Sep 16, 2017 5:10 am

Badly Bearhaved wrote:Say I want to write an issue about charismatic megafauna - basically, cuddly big animals that everyone likes. Is it too much to assume that @@ANIMAL@@ is fluffy and well-liked? I figure there aren't any validities for that.

Yeah. It would... invent a new critter would be my advice.

by **Australian rePublic** » Sat Sep 16, 2017 6:24 am

This is the best my morning person brain can come up with at 11:15pm. I'll make it better when it's not 11:15 pm

What do you guys think?

by **Trotterdam** » Sat Sep 16, 2017 6:41 am

Badly Bearhaved wrote:Say I want to write an issue about charismatic megafauna - basically, cuddly big animals that everyone likes. Is it too much to assume that @@ANIMAL@@ is fluffy and well-liked? I figure there aren't any validities for that.

There's no guarantee that @@ANIMAL@@ is fluffy, but it's reasonable to assume that it's well-liked. You must have picked it as the animal worthy of representing your nation for some reason, after all.

Why it's well-liked can vary. It can be because it's pretty, but also because it's seen as having a noble character, or even because its meat is really delicious. Whatever the cause, though, it's reasonable to assume that many of your citizens are proud of @@ANIMAL@@ and would consider its extinction to be an affront against your national dignity.

Do note, though, that there are already issues that allow you to let @@ANIMAL@@ go near-extinct (#079 2: "the @@ANIMAL@@ is reportedly extinct" and #086 2: "the @@ANIMAL@@ is believed to be extinct"), along with any nation with a poor environment being decribed as having its national animal "teeter on the brink of extinction" on the main nation page, although for game-mechanical reasons it will never actually go extinct, there will always be a small holdout population from which you can repopulate it if you improve your environment.

You may be interested in this thread of mine, which I should maybe get around to updating one of these days.

EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention that you should look at #751, which also deals with the preservation of less-memorable species.

And, now that I look at it, is also kind of about @@ANIMAL@@. Specifically, "a rare @@ANIMAL@@ subspecies, the two-spotted glow-in-the-dark @@ANIMAL@@", and whether it warrants preservation separately from the standard @@ANIMAL@@.

The Writers' Block

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