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Australian rePublic
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Posts: 20951
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:27 am

Bears Armed wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Learn something new every day, eh? Other fun one I picked up a few days ago was that what British call pot plants, Americans call potted plants.

Perhaps in America 'pot plant' means a cannabis plant?

:lol2:
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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21821
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:46 am

682 fixed thanks, apart from:

Lamebrainia wrote:Option #1:
scrappage of inefficient older vehicles

That's overkill, as far as I'm concerned. "Scrappage" already implies "inefficient" and "older".


It's not incorrect, though.
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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8867
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:25 pm

There are reasons to scrap stuff that isn't outdated, such as if you're downsizing and can't afford to maintain the same quantity of stuff you used to.

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Trotterdam
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Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:23 pm

In #683 option 1, "@@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Vs Skeletons" neglects to capitalize the macro like it should. (Also, I'd be inclined to put "vs" in all-lowercase, but that's more a matter of style.)

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Ransium
Issues Moderator
 
Posts: 6628
Founded: Oct 17, 2006
Democratic Socialists

Postby Ransium » Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:41 am

Trotterdam wrote:In #683 option 1, "@@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Vs Skeletons" neglects to capitalize the macro like it should. (Also, I'd be inclined to put "vs" in all-lowercase, but that's more a matter of style.)


True!

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:05 am

Trotterdam wrote:In #683 option 1, "@@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Vs Skeletons" neglects to capitalize the macro like it should. (Also, I'd be inclined to put "vs" in all-lowercase, but that's more a matter of style.)


Capitalised and pluralised. Hmmm, I'll ask Sedge how to code that.
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Gandoor
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Gandoor » Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:59 am

I might be wrong about this, but in Issue 683, option 3, 'If students in @@CAPITAL@@ school district want to learn about programming, great.', shouldn't there be a 'the' before @@CAPITAL@@? Because it reads odd for me. (Unless this was done deliberately in-case someone's capital already starts with 'The'?)
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Ransium
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Founded: Oct 17, 2006
Democratic Socialists

Postby Ransium » Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:24 pm

Gandoor wrote:I might be wrong about this, but in Issue 683, option 3, 'If students in @@CAPITAL@@ school district want to learn about programming, great.', shouldn't there be a 'the' before @@CAPITAL@@? Because it reads odd for me. (Unless this was done deliberately in-case someone's capital already starts with 'The'?)


I think I messed up in not capitalizing "School District" since we're talking about a specific school district. I'm not sure about about use of an article before it though. My feeling is since we're referring to a geographic place similar to a city it is not needed but I will raise it back stage.

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Tinhampton
Negotiator
 
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Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Tinhampton » Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:45 pm

Option #633.4 (the one that lets your nation's citizens vote for the new national anthem) effect line: "Citizens have voted the song "Leader Smells Like A horse" as their new national anthem."

Shouldn't that be "Leader Smells Like A Horse" with a capital H? (My national animal is the "horse", all in lower-case.)
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Lamebrainia
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Posts: 94
Founded: Apr 28, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Issue #683

Postby Lamebrainia » Wed Mar 08, 2017 2:19 am

Description:
implemented into
As far as I know, things can be implemented either "in" or "within" something, not "into". It's not a transferring action.

Option #2:
rants Ivanka Dimitrov
I know names are randomised, but this one here is going to be very confusing to a Slavic reader: female surnames have genders in most Slavic languages, and running the male surname with an obviously female name is a bad idea. Real-life women from Slavic countries don't enjoy this usually.
If done properly
There should be a comma after "properly".
of old arcade game
An article is missing here. "the old arcade game", perhaps?

Option #3:
rural school distinct
Not quite sure, but shouldn't "district" be here instead of "distinct"?
butt-out
No hyphen needed: it's a verb.

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21821
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:13 am

Tinhampton wrote:Option #633.4 (the one that lets your nation's citizens vote for the new national anthem) effect line: "Citizens have voted the song "Leader Smells Like A horse" as their new national anthem."

Shouldn't that be "Leader Smells Like A Horse" with a capital H? (My national animal is the "horse", all in lower-case.)


Ah, cheers, I intended that but coded it wrong, capitalising A / An instead of the animal. Should be fixed now.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:32 am

As far as I know, things can be implemented either "in" or "within" something, not "into". It's not a transferring action.


The usage you suggest is more common, but "implemented into" does get used, and isn't incorrect in my opinion. Not necessary to be prescriptivist on this one, I think.

https://textranch.com/92214/procedure-w ... mented-in/

I know names are randomised, but this one here is going to be very confusing to a Slavic reader: female surnames have genders in most Slavic languages, and running the male surname with an obviously female name is a bad idea. Real-life women from Slavic countries don't enjoy this usually.


We've discussed a similar issue backstage regarding Chinese surnames preceding the personal name. Ultimately, most languages don't follow the same rule set as English, so there's always going to be times when the execution of certain things read oddly to speakers of other languages, especially when the words used (like names) are so clearly from those languages.

However, the practical reality is that when immigrants or descendants of immigrants (like myself) come to countries where English is the dominant language, they tend to have to be forced to use the English system for reasons of being able to fit in with official systems. The Chinese singer Wong Fei presents herself as Faye Wong in English speaking territories. A Sikh who is called Mrs. Kaur accepts that her English passport has to say Mrs. Singh, because her husband's name is Singh.

Within the game, we also have to deal with the fact that the randomname coding just grabs a first and last name and throws them together, and we gain a lot of humour from this.

So when you see Ivanka Dimitrov, you can imagine that amongst her own people, she gets called Ivanka Dimitrova. Or you can imagine that she's actually the fourth generation descendant of Bob Dimitrov, who has lost touch with his Slavic roots, but whose grandson wanted a nice traditional name for her. Or you can imagine that Ivanka Dimitrov is a gender-fluid individual who identifies 80% female, but wants to indicate her 20% masculinity. Or that she is a feminist who finds the idea of female surnames demeaning, and is claiming a male surname to make a point. Likewise, if you see an Olaf Navratasingham (or whatever) you can try to construct your own headcanon as to how this bizarre collision of names occurred in this individual.

If done properly
There should be a comma after "properly".


No, you can put a comma there, but it is not needed.

An article is missing here. "the old arcade game", perhaps?


No, here "old arcade game" is being used as a category/descriptor.

It's like saying 'says rich idiot Donald Trump'. You don't need "the" in front of this.

Option #3:
rural school distinct
Not quite sure, but shouldn't "district" be here instead of "distinct"?


For sure, good spot. I'm just going to cut the word altogether. Flows better that way.

butt-out
No hyphen needed: it's a verb.


Totally agree. Changed.


Keep it up - even if I don't agree with all corrections, these are good things to spot.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:35 am, edited 3 times in total.
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4stan
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 62
Founded: Feb 10, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby 4stan » Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:14 am

Issue 608:

“Allowing these fraudsters to kill children with their pseudo-medical claptrap should be criminal!” shouts Dr. Stefanie Shadilay, a famed debunker of alternative medicine, as she slaps a hot mug of soothing echinacea tea out of your hands. “The same standards of evidence-based practice and criminal responsibility that doctors face should be forced on these conmen. Also, any parents who deny their children proper medical treatment should be held accountable for criminal neglect.”

“What happened to that child was a tragedy,” concedes animistic healer Barbie Foster as she hangs amethyst pendants around the room to absorb the negative energies being generated, “but my prescribed treatments would have saved her life, if only they hadn’t been disrupted by the scepticism and disbelief from her biomedical doctors. I can show you the logical arguments that underpin my science, but ultimately, shouldn’t everyone have the freedom to choose their own health care provider?”

“Look, I love freedom as much as the next passer-by who needs to crash at your place,” comments Filipe, a random hobo rousing from a nap on your couch to voice an opinion, “but to me it sounds like this is about the state’s responsibility for the safety of children. Why not just force parents to take their kids to an actual doctor, but let the adults do whatever they want with their own bodies? Also, are you going to finish that sandwich?”


This is a false dilemma. It presents being pro-science and being pro-freedom as mutually exclusive options, when that's not the case. I think it would be easiest to rewrite option 3 to replace "let the adults do whatever they want with their own bodies" with "let adults fall victim to whatever bogus crap is being peddled at the moment", and to adjust the effects of options 1 and 3 accordingly (so if option 1 carries a penalty to personal freedom, that can be removed).
Last edited by 4stan on Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Katie Boundary
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 65
Founded: Jul 31, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby Katie Boundary » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:29 am

Issue 500 needs an option to abolish copyright entirely. Replace them with nationally owned copyrights is not the same thing.
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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21821
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:30 am

To both of the last two posters:

You've misconstrued the purpose of this thread. This is for fixing grammar errors, typos and punctuation.

If you'd like to propose an issue be rewritten, start a new thread entitled [REWRITE PROPOSAL] Name of Issue, and then provide the original text, the reasons why you feel a rewrite is needed, and a suggested rewrite.

Note that historically we need a very good reason to rewrite generally, though it's happening a lot more than it used to. Even so, happens no more than once every few months, and needs to be well justified. Expect the burden of proof to lie with the ones proposing the change, rather than the ones defending the status quo.

The changes suggest may happen, but not from a single post in the "fix" thread. You need to present your case formally, and in full.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:31 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Lamebrainia
Attaché
 
Posts: 94
Founded: Apr 28, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Issue #689

Postby Lamebrainia » Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:50 am

Option #3:
whom has now wandered away
"who has now wandered away"...

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Posts: 21821
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sat Mar 11, 2017 5:12 pm

Lamebrainia wrote:Option #3:
whom has now wandered away
"who has now wandered away"...


Cheers, completely missed that "whom" being edited in. Editing it out again now.
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Helaw
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Founded: Aug 03, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Helaw » Sat Mar 11, 2017 6:10 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Lamebrainia wrote:Option #3:
"who has now wandered away"...


Cheers, completely missed that "whom" being edited in. Editing it out again now.


I can't for the life of me remember why I left that in there. Perhaps I was going to alter the direction of the sentence slightly, but I evidently decided against it.

Anyway, thanks for fixing it. Surprised we didn't notice it before.

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The One True Benxboro Empire
Diplomat
 
Posts: 695
Founded: Nov 15, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby The One True Benxboro Empire » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:38 pm

Anyone see this?
Issue 634, result line for option two: "Farmers complaining that the buzzing and the sparks from the nearby MagRail are blighting their crops."
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Posts: 21821
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:10 pm

The One True Benxboro Empire wrote:Anyone see this?
Issue 634, result line for option two: "Farmers complaining that the buzzing and the sparks from the nearby MagRail are blighting their crops."


Good catch. Fixed to "are complaining".
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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20951
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:49 pm

The effect for 682.1
Ha? Just ha?
School kids say the air doesn't taste like wee-wee anymore? What?
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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20951
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:50 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:682 fixed thanks, apart from:

Lamebrainia wrote:Option #1:

That's overkill, as far as I'm concerned. "Scrappage" already implies "inefficient" and "older".


It's not incorrect, though.

There's a lot of reason NOT to scrap old and inefficient products, though, such as can't afford of the newer model, or strong emotional attachments
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8867
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:58 pm

"@@LEADER@@'s New Clothes" in #622 is missing the apostrophe.

Was it always like this?

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21821
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:41 am

Australian Republic wrote:The effect for 682.1
Ha? Just ha?
School kids say the air doesn't taste like wee-wee anymore? What?


Clarify for me where the error is?
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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21821
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:43 am

Trotterdam wrote:"@@LEADER@@'s New Clothes" in #622 is missing the apostrophe.

Was it always like this?


Dunno, but fixed it now.
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