Description: After 10 year old girl, Lacey Lurbspart, was found abandoned on the side of the road, the populace is starting to question @@NAME@@s parenting ability.
The Debate
1. “Oh, oh! Please forgive me!” The young mother of Lacey, @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_1@@, comes rushing towards you. “You see, it’s so hard for mothers like me to take care of children, oh! I just simply couldn’t handle it anymore! I had no choice, we are too poor to look after little Lacey anymore. If you don’t want this to happen again… could you pwease give all pregnant women the funds to raise a child?”
The outcome: Mothers are often seen buying chocolate-cheesecake for their children’s school lunch.
2. “Well, if you ask me, women can only do three things, and this just proves it.” Lacey’s father, @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@ comes barging in, almost knocking over the mother. “I say, we should go back to mid evil @@NAME@@, where all the women had to do was stay at home, work at home, and produce me fifteen- I mean two nice babies.”
The outcome: Women are often caught dressed up as men to go outdoors
3. “AHEM! Do you really think this is okay?” Feminism For Life leader, @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_2@@, screams as her #bestie lifts her up to your #window. “Obviously the problem here is consent! Ms. Lurbspart is barely twenty, do you think she had a choice in this? If @@NAME@@ gave women more rights, this wouldn’t even be an issue! I say, let’s put men in our shoes, and reduce THEIR rights, how do they like that now?” “Hashtag Period,” Chimes in her best friend, taking a selfie for good luck.
The Outcome: Men struggle to go outside without laughter coming their way
4. As you start to smell smoke, you turn around and realise @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@ has let himself in, and is suspiciously close to Lacey. “Hehe, well, Mr. President, I think @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_1@@ is quite right. Mothers like her can’t take care of their babies. So, why not give them to us?” He softly cackles to himself. “We have a better solution. Give them to the Opheists. We’re always looking for some sacrifi- I mean some children who want better lives.”
The Outcome: Children often disappear when greeted by black-hooded individuals
5. @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@ starts pushing Lacey towards the fire, but stops when Lacey blurts out “Um. I actually liked the streets. There’s lots of nice people there. And they give me free food. And money. And hugs. I know my safety rules, so, um, Mr Amazing-Leader-Of-@@NAME@@, would you mind if I, uh, went back to the streets?”
The Outcome: Children often run away to the magic land of ‘@@CITY@@-Street” for free sweets
Please tell me if you have any feedback, I haven’t really written an issue before!
