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[DRAFT] The Sky is Falling!

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Novella Islands
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Founded: Oct 26, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

[DRAFT] The Sky is Falling!

Postby Novella Islands » Sat Jan 15, 2022 2:16 am

G'day all!

Inspiration struck in the early hours of this morning, and so I decided to take the plunge and write an issue while riding that wave. Hopefully, between being a first-time author, and running off of but a few cups of coffee, the end result has something salvageable for publication :p

Draft 1:
Headline
The Sky is Falling!

Validity
Nation must have a space program.

Description
In the early hours of this morning, the newest of the @@Name@@ Space Agency’s communications satellites was knocked offline, before tumbling back down to the planet from orbit, in what is now known to have been caused by a collision by an errant piece of debris from a previous launch. Aside from sending @@Capital@@ back to single-digit internet speeds, the incident has sparked ferocious scientific debate about the dangers of pollution in space... and provided a rather spectacular light show for your citizens, as fragments continue to burn up in the atmosphere upon re-entry.

Option 1
“This is a symptom of an ever-growing problem, which astronomers have begun terming the Kipling Affliction”, a stout boffin from @NameInitial@SA decries, before munching down on a cherry Bakewell tart. “Anthropogenic contamination of the upper atmosphere is jeopardising both our current missions, and any we plan for the future.”

Placing a file on your desk, the bespectacled astronomer continues, while you brush the shortcrust crumbs from the folder. “We must begin by constructing a new state-of-the-art tracking station here, planet-side, and perform around-the-clock surveillance of any would-be satellite-killers!”

Option 1's Effect
Ground controllers at the @@CAPITAL@@ Space Centre tune in every morning for their space junk update, right after the weather.

---

Option 2
Validity: Nation must ban private industry.

Shaking her head solemnly at the scientist’s suggestion, your Political Commissar Celia Skyes makes a point of order. “We owe it to the people of @@Name@@, and their children – your comrades in arms, @@Leader@@ – to ensure that we leave the planet as we found it… or better!”

She leans forwards, whispering into your ear, “…and between you and me, it’s good optics, too. @@Name@@ Saves the World, Maxtopia Sits Watching? It’s not every day a nation can launch itself into the history books with a headline like that.”

Option 2's Effect
Cosmonauts working on the @@Animal@@ Space Clean-up Program are the pride of the Motherland!

---

Option 3
Validity: Nation must allow private industry.

Smirking at the thought that had sprung into her head, your Minister of Economic Ventures Celia Skyes interrupts the @NameInitial@SA representative. “You know, we could take this a step further… all the while making a pretty penny for ourselves in the process!”

She shoots a quizzical glance at the rocket scientist, before questioning him directly. “What’s a spacecraft or satellite mostly made from, anyway? They must be absolutely loaded with precious metals… I don’t know why else they’d cost so damned much to send up there.”

Palms up, she returns her gaze to you. “Kills two birds with one stone. We fill our coffers, and tidy up space, as long as we don’t make more mess than when we started…”


Option 3's Effect
Astronauts specialising in “orbital sanitation engineering” make more in a fortnight than @@MajorIndustry@@ workers do in a month.

---

Option 4
“All of these suggestions are absolutely unacceptable!” The double doors to your office slam open to reveal @@RandomName@@, your gruff @@Name@@ Space Operations general, although how (or indeed, if) @@He@@ was aware of any previous recommendations remains a mystery. “Our SatelliteShredder6000-- err, rather, Multiplying Extra Terrestrial Extermination Ordinance Rockets, works on the very same principle that took out that communications relay.”

@He@@ gives a sly grin, and a shrug, before staring you dead in the eye. “It is regrettable, to be sure… But can you, in good faith, legislate against national – and global – security?”

Option 4's Effect
Amateur astronomers regularly observe METEOR™ showers streaking through the sky.

---

Option 5
A strong smell of incense wafts down the corridor, as @@RandomName@@, the heavily robed @@Capital@@ @@Faith@@ minister barges into the room, uninvited. “@@Leader@@, I told you that breaching the Heavenly Layer would spell doom for us all… But did you listen? Of course not.”

As security catches up to @@Him@@, he continues on @@His@@ rant. “This hellfire that has rained down upon @@Name@@ is comeuppance for our sins... To repent, we must ban all forms of space travel! No longer shall we desecrate the stars with our mere mortal beings…”

As @@He@@ is finally ushered out by your protection officers, @@He@@ persists on @@His@@ sermon, “…planes must go too, for they only serve to embolden those who are too greedy for expansion, ever upwards!”

From down the corridor, you hear @@His@@ final words. “Hot air balloons are on thin ice, you hear me?!”

Option 5's Effect
Anything that flies higher than a child’s party balloon is heretical, according to @@Faith@@.

I know Option 5 is rather long... hopefully just on the right side of "acceptable" though! However, of course; comments, suggestions, criticisms, or anything else you wish to discuss are more than welcome. :)
Last edited by Novella Islands on Sat Jan 15, 2022 2:57 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Tinhampton
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Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Tinhampton » Sat Jan 15, 2022 3:02 am

Issue #248 is already called "The Sky is Falling" (without any punctuation marks).

All of your options contain line breaks. Is that allowed? :P
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Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590
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Trotterdam
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Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sat Jan 15, 2022 3:04 am

Sadly, we already have both the issue and the title. (For what it's worth, satellite collisions would not in fact cause anything to fall from the sky. Rather the debris would continue to stay in orbit, which is the entire reason this is such a big deal in the first place.)

In the interest of helping you know better what to do next time, I'll still offer some feedback on this draft, with the understanding that it probably won't be accepted regardless.

First, issue options aren't allowed to have more than one paragraph. You need to remove the line breaks.

Second, option 2 fails to actually describe what it's doing. All it says is "leave the planet as we found it… or better!", with absolutely nothing to suggest how this is to be accomplished. Reading on suggests that option 2 is intended to be a socialist variant of option 3, which is far more explicit about what it does, but while this clarifies the intent for someone reading the issue in this thread, it wouldn't help a socialist player who actually receives the issue.

Third, effect lines should be sentence fragments, not full sentences. (Note your nations page: "Space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Novella Islands, populations of two-headed Eternal Phoenixes have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites, money grows on trees, and posters on 'Novellan Values' advise against being proud of Novella Islands.") In particular this means that while exclamation points aren't strictly banned, they're strongly discouraged unless there's a better reason to include them than what you have for option 2.

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Novella Islands
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 5
Founded: Oct 26, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Novella Islands » Sat Jan 15, 2022 3:41 am

Tinhampton wrote:Issue #248 is already called "The Sky is Falling" (without any punctuation marks).

Trotterdam wrote:Sadly, we already have both the issue and the title.

Bah, unsure why my search for "satellite" didn't come up with #754, which is rather unfortunate. The title is inexcusable though, I didn't even consider that it may have been duplicated.

I gather #754's description is similar to this proposal, though it does differ a little; being focused on the international-relations repercussions of two satellites colliding, rather than the domestic that this issue does. I suppose my critical question would be, Would that still be too similar to preclude submission (even in some altered form), especially considering the options/effects vary considerably? I mean, one circumstance can open up a variety of different approaches... or am I reaching too much? :lol2:

Regardless, thank you for the comments, even if it's deemed no good at this time!

---
Trotterdam wrote:First, issue options aren't allowed to have more than one paragraph. You need to remove the line breaks.

As for the paragraph breaks, that would require a slight bit of tweaking with the wording, but nothing horrific, I'd imagine.

Trotterdam wrote:Second, option 2 fails to actually describe what it's doing. All it says is "leave the planet as we found it… or better!", with absolutely nothing to suggest how this is to be accomplished. Reading on suggests that option 2 is intended to be a socialist variant of option 3, which is far more explicit about what it does, but while this clarifies the intent for someone reading the issue in this thread, it wouldn't help a socialist player who actually receives the issue.

This is a very good point. Would something along the lines of this play better?
Option 2
Validity: Nation must ban private industry.

Shaking her head solemnly at the scientist’s suggestion, your Political Commissar Celia Skyes makes a point of order. “We owe it to the people of @@Name@@, and their children – your comrades in arms, @@Leader@@ – to ensure that we leave the planet as we found it… or better!” She leans forwards, whispering into your ear, “…and between you and me, it’s good optics, too. @@Name@@ Saves the World, Maxtopia Sits Watching? It’s not every day a nation can launch itself into the history books with a headline like that.” Placing her own file atop the @NameInitial@SA representative's, and making a sweeping gesture with her hands, she concludes, "The @@Animal@@ Space Clean-up Program! Deorbit all of this space junk, and pave the way for our future in space!"

Option 2's Effect
Cosmonauts working on clearing up the planetary neighbourhood are the pride of the Motherland

Trotterdam wrote:Third, effect lines should be sentence fragments, not full sentences. (Note your nations page: [Snip]) In particular this means that while exclamation points aren't strictly banned, they're strongly discouraged unless there's a better reason to include them than what you have for option 2.

That's fair enough, and option 2's significance doesn't particularly hinge on the presence of the exclamation mark.

Trotterdam wrote:(For what it's worth, satellite collisions would not in fact cause anything to fall from the sky. Rather the debris would continue to stay in orbit, which is the entire reason this is such a big deal in the first place.)

As for this, I'm very much aware, but had hoped there would be some degree of artistic license, in order to rouse the necessary in-character public interest in the issue in the first place!


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