[DRAFT] Ampersand Hampers

[Zuelong]

Description: A recent child prodigy, D&F Hamilton, has been denied access to the prestigious @@RANDOMNAME@@ University, after the computer could not recognise the ampersands she used in her name and so broke down. However, the academic year started before the error was noticed. This is the ninth time the error has occurred, particularly in top-scoring schools, where many things are completely automated.

OPTION 1:
"Why me?" The student in question is sitting down with a grumpy face. It's not my fault my name has an & in it. "That's what my parents named me! I demand that you switch me out with the lowest-performing student, so I can enjoy the education I deserve." She moves aside to let other speakers come forward.

EFFECT: Students get kicked out of their dream school whenever a child smarter than them applies to join.
Increases Intelligence, Increases Civil Rights

OPTION 2:(Valid for nations that have free naming systems)
"This isn't enough!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, mother of <;>/., a child whose name is made entirely of punctuation. "Replace all these clunky old computers with newer ones which actually understand punctuation! I want my daughter should have a good education!"

EFFECT: Pranksters name themselves as ;'[][];'.,;.[35[,./[l9;11,'.l'.;[;/[{?<:68?{:><12@:?@</; during online tests to overload the school computer's data.

OPTION 3:
"No!" says a weeping girl, @@RANDOMNAME@@, barely able to control herself. "The class is full! If she gets in, I'll be kicked out of the school! It was my dream to be enrolled in the university!" She partially composes herself, and stands up. "Let there be extra spaces for any other qualifiers! Then no-one will have to worry!"

EFFECT: The national record for biggest class stands at 389.
Increases Intelligence, Increases Book Publishing

OPTION 4:

The well-mannered headmistress of the university, @@RANDOMNAME@@, finally manages to enter the room, and straightens up her tie. "I regret the loss of a new and more capable student, but rules are rules. We must keep enforcing them, no matter the situation." She curtsies and exits the room in silence.

EFFECT: Children are banned from changing school.
Decrease Civil Rights

OPTION 5:

A professor from the neighbouring @@RANDOMNAME@@ College, @@RANDOMNAME@@, pushes in from the back. "Forget these fancy new devices!" She starts in a demeaning tone. "Why not return to paper? We can keep the spare money and use it for other purposes, like wages? She intensely stares at your printer."

EFFECT: Teachers sacrifice a week each year to mark papers.
Increase Economy, Increase Book Publishing, Decrease Information Technology

Description: A recent child prodigy, @@RANDOMNAME@@, has been denied access to the prestigious @@RANDOMNAME@@ University, after the computer could not recognise the ampersands she used in her name and so broke down. However, the academic year started before the error was noticed.

OPTION 1:
"Why me?" The student in question is sitting down with a grumpy face. It's not my fault my name has an & in it. "That's what my parents named me! I demand that you switch me out with the lowest-performing student, so I can enjoy the education I deserve." She moves aside to let other speakers come forward.

EFFECT: Students get kicked out of their dream school whenever a child smarter than them applies to join.

OPTION 2:(Valid for nations that have free naming systems)
"This isn't enough!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, mother of <;>/., a child whose name is made entirely of punctuation. "Replace all these clunky old computers with newer ones which actually understand punctuation! I want my daughter should have a good education!"

EFFECT: Pranksters name themselves as ;'[][];'.,;.[35[,./[l9;11,'.l'.;[;/[{?<:68?{:><12@:?@</; during online tests to overload the school computer's data.

OPTION 3:
"No!" says a weeping girl, @@RANDOMNAME@@, barely able to control herself. "If she gets in, I'll be kicked out of the school! It was my dream to be enrolled in the university!" She partially composes herself, and stands up. "Let there be extra spaces for any other qualifiers! Then no-one will have to worry!"

EFFECT: The national record for biggest class stands at 389.

OPTION 4:

The well-mannered headmistress of the university, @@RANDOMNAME@@, finally manages to enter the room, and straightens up her tie. "I regret the loss of a new and more capable student, but rules are rules. We must keep enforcing them, no matter the situation." She curtsys and exits the room in silence.

EFFECT: Children are banned from changing school.

Validity: Some form of education and internet use.

Description: A recent child prodigy, D&F Hamilton, has been denied access to the prodigious Heevard University, after the computer could not recognise the ampersands she used in her name and so rejected her paper. However, the academic year started before the error was noticed.

OPTION 1:
"Why me?" The student in question is sitting down with a grumpy face. It's not my fault my name has an & in it. "That's what my parents called me! I demand that you switch me out with a student, so I can enjoy the education I deserve." She gets up and walks out of the office.

EFFECT: Students cry when they get kicked out of their dream school.

OPTION 2:(Valid for nations that have free naming systems)
"This isn't enough!" says @@RANDOM NAME@@, mother of <;1>/3., a child whose name is made entirely of numbers and punctuation. "Make all computers able to recognise punctuation! My daughter should have a good education!"

EFFECT: Pranksters name themselves as ;'[][];'.,;.[35[,./[l9;11,'.l'.;[;/[{?<:68?{:><12@:?@</; during online tests.

OPTION 3:
"No!" says a weeping girl, barely able to control herself. "If she gets in, I'll be kicked out of the school! This was my dream!" She partially composes herself, and stands up. "Let there be extra spaces for any other qualifiers! Then no-one will have to worry!"

EFFECT: Teachers call sick whenever they have to teach three classes at the same time.

OPTION 4:

The well-mannered headmistress of Heevard, @@RANDOMNAME@@, finally manages to enter the room, and straightens up her tie. "I regret the loss of a new student, but rules are rules. We must keep enforcing them, no matter the situation." She curtsys and exits the room in silence.

EFFECT: Children can no longer move to another school.

[Hasabah]

I would choose option 2. Mostly because the outcome is the most fun one.

[Trotterdam]

It seems unlikely that a process like this would be handled entirely by computer without human supervision at any point. Generally, the person entering the application into the computer should receive an error message that makes it pretty obvious what went wrong.

[USS Monitor]

You can't use @@RANDOMNAME@@ if you need the name to have an & in it.

I agree with Trott.

I also don't see what makes this a national issue that @@LEADER@@ needs to address.

[Australian rePublic]

Call yourself DF Hamilton and move on

[Zuelong]

Call yourself DF Hamilton and move on

But...
She still won't be able to fulfil her dream of getting into the University.