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Piggy Party (issue proposal)

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

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Sorianora
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: May 23, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Sorianora » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:21 am

I am hoping to get an 8th draft done today, still looking for spelling mistakes, and grammatical issues.

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Baloo Kingdom
Envoy
 
Posts: 267
Founded: Jan 22, 2020
Democratic Socialists

Postby Baloo Kingdom » Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:36 am

Sorianora wrote:I am hoping to get an 8th draft done today, still looking for spelling mistakes, and grammatical issues.

I would recommend putting it through Grammarly
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
It's All Ohio.
Creator of Infinity Bear and Peargame
Yes, this nation represents most of my beliefs.

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Sorianora
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: May 23, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Sorianora » Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:13 am

Baloo Kingdom wrote:
Sorianora wrote:I am hoping to get an 8th draft done today, still looking for spelling mistakes, and grammatical issues.

I would recommend putting it through Grammarly

Ah yes Grammerly, I’ll get that soon.

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Baloo Kingdom
Envoy
 
Posts: 267
Founded: Jan 22, 2020
Democratic Socialists

Postby Baloo Kingdom » Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:15 am

Sorianora wrote:
Baloo Kingdom wrote:I would recommend putting it through Grammarly

Ah yes Grammerly, I’ll get that soon.

I'm sure you've seen the numerous ads online, it's free, and I'm using it right now.
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
It's All Ohio.
Creator of Infinity Bear and Peargame
Yes, this nation represents most of my beliefs.

User avatar
Sorianora
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: May 23, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Sorianora » Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:36 pm

Ah draft 7, I have used grammarly to fix it up a bit! /bumpity

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Nooooooooooooooo
Diplomat
 
Posts: 503
Founded: Oct 18, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby Nooooooooooooooo » Tue Nov 17, 2020 8:48 pm

Sorianora wrote:Ah draft 7, I have used grammarly to fix it up a bit! /bumpity

What parts did you put through Grammarly? I can still see some grammar/punctuation errors.
Last edited by Nooooooooooooooo on Tue Nov 17, 2020 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Sorianora
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: May 23, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Sorianora » Wed Nov 18, 2020 6:22 am

Nooooooooooooooo wrote:
Sorianora wrote:Ah draft 7, I have used grammarly to fix it up a bit! /bumpity

What parts did you put through Grammarly? I can still see some grammar/punctuation errors.

I put all of it through, but I didn’t pay for premium so that may be why.

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Sorianora
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: May 23, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Sorianora » Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:24 am

I want to write another draft or two before I bring it to last call before submission

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Sorianora
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: May 23, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Sorianora » Sat Nov 21, 2020 11:57 am

Ah this forum is pretty dead, bump (pls help meh)


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Electrum
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2927
Founded: Jan 20, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Electrum » Mon Nov 23, 2020 6:18 am

First, the easy stuff. You've got to fix the grammar! Have a look at the spoilers thread to see how talking marks work in English. For example, instead of:
“@@LEADER@@ we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@.” Suggests your Minister of Table Manners.

It should be:
“@@LEADER@@, we must enforce a mandatory manners school for all citizens of @@NATION@@," suggests your Minister of Table Manners.

Also, please dumbify your apostrophes and talking marks. Instead of using “ ” and ’, use " " and ' respectively. It just makes our jobs easier when we edit.

Now onto the harder stuff. Although the description is great, I think the premise is a bit off. This affects the options as well. The problem talks about you having a pig-headed ambassador. To me, the obvious solutions are either to fire them or keep them on and ensure that all ambassadors are trained in table manners. Nothing to do with enforcing a mandatory etiquette school for every single citizen. Option 4 seems like a bit too much of an extreme reaction and I don't really think its needed.

In saying these things, this draft just overlaps too much with #1064. Much of the themes are very similar, and the suggested solutions are similar. Instead of having rude tourists, it's a rude ambassador. I suggest finding a different idea, post it on the writer's block first for overlaps, then start writing a new draft! Good luck :)

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