[DRAFT] Drinking the economy under the table

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
User avatar
Posts: 1
Founded: Mar 27, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

[DRAFT] Drinking the economy under the table

Postby Iguania » Fri May 22, 2020 4:43 pm

Inspired by the drunk oil trading incident from a couple of years ago. First draft:

[Validity] Capitalist, alcohol is legal

[Description] Yesterday, the stock market of @@NAME@@ almost crashed due to the activity of a drunk banker. Various people are waiting in your office in the hopes that you would drink in their words.

[Option 1] "Let me do my job the way I want to", says Daniel Jacks, the drunk trader in question. "I can't even remember last night -- I mean, the last time I traded while sober. Yet, this is the first time anything like this has happened", he says as he walks into the doorframe while trying to leave your room.
[Effect 1] bankers are drinking away the pain of losing millions

[Option 2] "You wouldn't want a drunk doctor to perform surgery on you, would you?", asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the founder of Inebriateds In Incognito, an organisation dedicated to helping recovering alcoholics. "Clearly, anyone who is willing to drink while working is suffering from addiction. My organisation can help them get sober - if you increase our funding, that is."
[Effect 2] every @@CURRENCY@@ not lost to drunk traders is spent on getting them sober

[Option 3] "That isn't going far enough. Alcohol needs to be eradicated from society", insists teetotaler extremist Gina Bolisher, while holding her favourite cocktail, a Molotov. "We need to dump all of this horrible substance into the sea, and ban alcohol once and for all", she says, before blowing up your whisky cabinet.
[Effect 3] sea creatures are having a whale of a time

[Option 4] "This is not a drinking problem, this is a stock market problem", claims communist philosopher @@RANDOMNAME@@ while offering you a glass of moonshine from a questionable source. "The only way to prevent this market volatility is to abolish the free market altogether."
[Effect 4] drunk bankers are becoming drunk teachers, drunk surgeons, and drunk lorry drivers
Last edited by Iguania on Fri May 22, 2020 4:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Post Marshal
Posts: 19801
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Fri May 22, 2020 5:43 pm

Why would anyone choose anything but option 2?
From Greek Ansestry Orthodox Christian
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
This account is fictious. Any In-Character posts made by this account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

User avatar
Posts: 8483
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sat May 23, 2020 3:32 am

Shouldn't preventing employees from getting drunk usually be a matter for their employers' HR department, not the government?

It'd have to be the boss who's an addict for it to be something that's not easily resolved internally, and then what makes it different from any other corporation that goes bankrupt because it's run by idiots?

Return to Got Issues?

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Fauxia, Honeydewistania, Pythaga


Remove ads