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[DRAFT] Shooting Mad

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Kathol Rift
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Founded: Mar 12, 2018
Authoritarian Democracy

[DRAFT] Shooting Mad

Postby Kathol Rift » Thu Mar 26, 2020 11:33 am

Here’s a draft for an issue I thought of. Any help revising it is appreciated.
[DRAFT] – Shooting Mad

[The Issue] – For the third time this week, a man has been shot by accident while hunting in @@NAME@@‘s forests. As per the usual, several people have descended upon your office shouting for a solution.

[issuevalidity] – must have right to bear arms.


[Option 1] – "This is ridiculous! People are dying because these rednecks can’t tell the difference between a deer and a person!” shouts Game and Fish officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Hunters cause all kinds of problems, from littering, to forest fires, and now deaths! We need to ban hunting immediately!”

[effect] – hunting is now illegal


[Option 2] – “Now hold on one minute,” says professional hunter Pete Chapstick. “Hunting is important for population control, and money from buying hunting licenses goes to support conservation. Instead, why don’t we mandate hunting safety classes, even for longtime hunters like myself? It will be a little more pressure on the taxpayer, and some hunters might not like it, but it will make hunting safer I’m sure.”

[effect] – Fifty year-olds and fifteen year-olds sit side by side in hunter safety classes


[Option 3] – All of a sudden, a forty year-old lady bursts into your office, leaving a very dazed looking guard behind her. “You don’t see the real problem here! The problem isn’t that those hunters thought the victim was a deer! The problem is that they were using guns! If you ban guns, this whole problem will go away! Ban bows while you’re at it, they could hurt someone also.”

[effect] – Hunters have gone back to their roots of hunting with spears and knives
[flag]- gun ownership is banned


[Option 4] – Just then, the hunter who did the shooting gets brought into your office by a policeman. “Uh, thank you officer. @@LEADER@@, it wasn’t my fault that guy got shot. He was dressed in brown colors, and he had a whitish hat on! He looked exactly like a deer! I may have been a little drunk, and I may have shot without looking real hard, but trust me, I am innocent. There are no problems with the current system. Just leave it alone. And, uh, while you’re at it, can you get me a pardon here? I have a turkey hunt next week.”

[effect] – the nation’s forests are commonly known as war zones during hunting season

[DRAFT] – Shooting Mad

[The Issue] – For the third time this week, a man has been shot by accident while hunting in @@NAME@@‘s forests. As per the usual, several people have descended upon your office shouting for a solution.

[issuevalidity] – must have right to bear arms.


[Option 1] – "This is ridiculous! People are dying because these rednecks can’t tell the difference between a deer and a person!” shouts Game and Fish officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Hunters cause all kinds of problems, from littering, to forest fires, and now deaths! We need to ban hunting immediately!”

[effect] – hunting is now illegal


[Option 2] – “Now hold on one minute,” says professional hunter Pete Chapstick. “Hunting is important for population control, and money from buying hunting licenses goes to support conservation. Instead, why don’t we mandate hunting safety classes, even for longtime hunters like myself? It will be a little more pressure on the taxpayer, and some hunters might not like it, but it will make hunting safer I’m sure.”

[effect] – Fifty-year-olds and fifteen-year-olds sit side by side in hunter safety classes


[Option 3] – All of a sudden, a forty-year-old lady bursts into your office, leaving a very dazed looking guard behind her. “You don’t see the real problem here! The problem isn’t that those hunters thought the victim was a deer! The problem is that they were using guns! If you ban guns, this whole problem will go away! Ban bows while you’re at it, they could hurt someone also.”

[effect] – Hunters have gone back to their roots of hunting with spears and knives
[flag]- gun ownership is banned


[Option 4] – Just then, the hunter who did the shooting gets brought into your office by a policeman. “Uh, thank you officer. @@LEADER@@, it wasn’t my fault that guy got shot. He was dressed in brown colors, and he had a whitish hat on! He looked exactly like a deer! I may have been a little drunk, and I may have shot without looking real hard, but trust me, I am innocent. He should have been wearing orange like I was. Just make hunter’s orange mandatory for hunting! And, uh, while you’re at it, can you get me a pardon here? I have a turkey hunt next week.”

[effect] – no deer tags have been filled this season as hunting gets much less camouflaged

Current Draft
[DRAFT] – Shooting Mad

[The Issue] – For the third time this week, a man has been shot by accident while hunting in @@NAME@@‘s forests. As per the usual, several people have descended upon your office shouting for a solution.

[issuevalidity] – must have right to bear arms.


[Option 1] – "This is ridiculous! People are dying because these rednecks can’t tell the difference between a deer and a person!” shouts Game and Fish officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Hunters cause all kinds of problems, from littering, to forest fires, and now deaths! We need to ban hunting immediately!”

[effect] – hunting is now illegal


[Option 2] – “Now hold on one minute,” says professional hunter Pete Chapstick. “Hunting is important for population control, and money from buying hunting licenses goes to support conservation. Instead, why don’t we mandate hunting safety classes, even for longtime hunters like myself? It will be a little more pressure on the taxpayer, and some hunters might not like it, but it will work, believe me. Also, get rid of camouflage. If everyone wears khaki like me, they won’t be hard to see on the forest.”

[effect] – Fifty-year-olds and fifteen-year-olds sit side by side in a sea of khaki in hunter safety classes


[Option 3] – All of a sudden, a forty-year-old lady bursts into your office, leaving a very dazed looking guard behind her. “You don’t see the real problem here! The problem isn’t that those hunters thought the victim was a deer! The problem is that they were using guns! If you ban guns, this whole problem will go away! Ban bows while you’re at it, they could hurt someone also.”

[effect] – Hunters have gone back to their roots of hunting with spears and knives
[flag]- gun ownership is banned


[Option 4] – Just then, you hear what has to be the loudest pickup truck in existence outside your window. When you open it to see what is going on, you find a group of rednecks yelling at you. “We don’t need no stupid classes or any of that fancy stuff! And you sure as hell ain’t taking our guns or our hunting! If people don’t wanna get shot, then don’t go out in deer country during deer season! It’s that simple! Just leave the system alone, and let our buddy out of prison! He’s got a turkey hunt with us next week!”

[effect]- The forests of @@NAME@@ are commonly referred to as “war zones” during hunting season
Last edited by Kathol Rift on Sat Mar 28, 2020 12:21 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:20 pm

Option 3- isn't a spear more dangerous?
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:11 pm

Kathol Rift wrote:Fifty year-olds
Kathol Rift wrote:fifteen year-olds
Kathol Rift wrote:forty year-old
These need to be fully hyphenated. Unless you're talking about fifty people who are each one year old.

Kathol Rift wrote:[Option 4] – Just then, the hunter who did the shooting gets brought into your office by a policeman. “Uh, thank you officer. @@LEADER@@, it wasn’t my fault that guy got shot. He was dressed in brown colors, and he had a whitish hat on! He looked exactly like a deer! I may have been a little drunk, and I may have shot without looking real hard, but trust me, I am innocent. There are no problems with the current system. Just leave it alone. And, uh, while you’re at it, can you get me a pardon here? I have a turkey hunt next week.”
The requested action came as a surprise. With that lead-up, I was expecting a suggestion that people in the wilderness be mandated to wear easily-visible safety clothing. (With the likely result that the deer can see them easily too, and so start fleeing much sooner.)

Australian rePublic wrote:Option 3- isn't a spear more dangerous?
Than a gun? I doubt it. There's a reason armies don't use spears anymore.

The main point is that with a melee weapon, or a relatively short-range projectile weapon like a thrown spear, you have much less chance of hitting something other than your intended target than with a long-range weapon like a gun.

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Kathol Rift
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Postby Kathol Rift » Thu Mar 26, 2020 5:41 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Option 3- isn't a spear more dangerous?

I don’t think so.
Trotterdam wrote:
Kathol Rift wrote:Fifty year-olds
Kathol Rift wrote:fifteen year-olds
Kathol Rift wrote:forty year-old
These need to be fully hyphenated. Unless you're talking about fifty people who are each one year old.

Kathol Rift wrote:[Option 4] – Just then, the hunter who did the shooting gets brought into your office by a policeman. “Uh, thank you officer. @@LEADER@@, it wasn’t my fault that guy got shot. He was dressed in brown colors, and he had a whitish hat on! He looked exactly like a deer! I may have been a little drunk, and I may have shot without looking real hard, but trust me, I am innocent. There are no problems with the current system. Just leave it alone. And, uh, while you’re at it, can you get me a pardon here? I have a turkey hunt next week.”
The requested action came as a surprise. With that lead-up, I was expecting a suggestion that people in the wilderness be mandated to wear easily-visible safety clothing. (With the likely result that the deer can see them easily too, and so start fleeing much sooner.)

Australian rePublic wrote:Option 3- isn't a spear more dangerous?
Than a gun? I doubt it. There's a reason armies don't use spears anymore.

The main point is that with a melee weapon, or a relatively short-range projectile weapon like a thrown spear, you have much less chance of hitting something other than your intended target than with a long-range weapon like a gun.

I was thinking about having him suggest orange, but I wanted one that would get the headline of hunting areas being war zones. I might need to add another option for that. I’ll change that option though.
| A nation that tries not to be imperialistic, it’s just so hard sometimes... | I do use NS stats | the three B’s: Big Military, Big Robot Birds, Big Tanks |

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Kathol Rift
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Postby Kathol Rift » Fri Mar 27, 2020 4:49 pm

Just a bump, just in case anyone has more suggestions.
/bump
Last edited by Kathol Rift on Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Candensia
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Postby Candensia » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:11 pm

Unless you really know what you’re doing, it’s best to leave an issue up for a week or two, minimum. For me, two weeks is par for the course, but among GI that’s probably quicker than most.

If it were me, I’d combine options 2 and 4. Mandating safety classes AND high visibility clothing in a single option would make the issue more manageable for the reader, since in my opinion they are both promoting essentially the same thing. That being safety, of course. :)
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Kathol Rift
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Postby Kathol Rift » Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:13 pm

Candensia wrote:Unless you really know what you’re doing, it’s best to leave an issue up for a week or two, minimum. For me, two weeks is par for the course, but among GI that’s probably quicker than most.

If it were me, I’d combine options 2 and 4. Mandating safety classes AND high visibility clothing in a single option would make the issue more manageable for the reader, since in my opinion they are both promoting essentially the same thing. That being safety, of course. :)

Okay. That makes sense. I’ll have another draft up soon. Thanks!

I combined 2 and 4, and I got to have my “war zone” effect for the new option 4. I think that worked out rather well. Thanks!
Last edited by Kathol Rift on Fri Mar 27, 2020 5:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Fri Mar 27, 2020 7:10 pm

Candensia wrote:If it were me, I’d combine options 2 and 4. Mandating safety classes AND high visibility clothing in a single option would make the issue more manageable for the reader, since in my opinion they are both promoting essentially the same thing. That being safety, of course. :)
I'm not so sure. While they're both "mandate safer behaviour", they differ in that one puts the burden on the shooter while the other puts the burden on the shootee. That can be an important difference in a situation where people like to point fingers and blame each other for whatever goes wrong.

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Chan Island
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Postby Chan Island » Sat Mar 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Candensia wrote:Unless you really know what you’re doing, it’s best to leave an issue up for a week or two, minimum. For me, two weeks is par for the course, but among GI that’s probably quicker than most.

If it were me, I’d combine options 2 and 4. Mandating safety classes AND high visibility clothing in a single option would make the issue more manageable for the reader, since in my opinion they are both promoting essentially the same thing. That being safety, of course. :)


I disagree. Safety classes is something that is targeted at the hunters themselves, putting up a barrier to partaking in the activity. Meanwhile the high-vis vests would affect everybody who goes into the woods, including lots of people who are not hunters.

Speaking of which- we could absolutely have a funny effect line to do with scientists, park rangers or drunken teenagers wearing them.
Last edited by Chan Island on Sat Mar 28, 2020 12:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Candensia
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Postby Candensia » Sat Mar 28, 2020 1:03 pm

Chan Island wrote:
Candensia wrote:Unless you really know what you’re doing, it’s best to leave an issue up for a week or two, minimum. For me, two weeks is par for the course, but among GI that’s probably quicker than most.

If it were me, I’d combine options 2 and 4. Mandating safety classes AND high visibility clothing in a single option would make the issue more manageable for the reader, since in my opinion they are both promoting essentially the same thing. That being safety, of course. :)


I disagree. Safety classes is something that is targeted at the hunters themselves, putting up a barrier to partaking in the activity. Meanwhile the high-vis vests would affect everybody who goes into the woods, including lots of people who are not hunters.

Speaking of which- we could absolutely have a funny effect line to do with scientists, park rangers or drunken teenagers wearing them.


I was operating off of the description, which said this,

For the third time this week, a man has been shot by accident while hunting in @@NAME@@‘s forests. As per the usual, several people have descended upon your office shouting for a solution.


Also some text in the option, which said this.

[Option 4] – Just then, the hunter who did the shooting gets brought into your office by a policeman. “Uh, thank you officer. @@LEADER@@, it wasn’t my fault that guy got shot. He was dressed in brown colors, and he had a whitish hat on! He looked exactly like a deer! I may have been a little drunk, and I may have shot without looking real hard, but trust me, I am innocent. He should have been wearing orange like I was. Just make hunter’s orange mandatory for hunting! And, uh, while you’re at it, can you get me a pardon here? I have a turkey hunt next week.”


"Shot while hunting" indicates that both the shooter and the shootee were hunting, and so I assumed the option was advocating for high-visibility clothing for hunters specifically, due to text in the option.

I do think that distinct options can be made for safety classes for hunters vs high-visibility clothing for everyone going into the wilderness, but if it were me, I probably still would combine both suggestions.
Last edited by Candensia on Sat Mar 28, 2020 1:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Kathol Rift
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Postby Kathol Rift » Sat Mar 28, 2020 3:53 pm

And now I’m not sure whether to go with the second draft or the current draft. I think I’ll have to wait for more feedback to decide.
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Kathol Rift
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Postby Kathol Rift » Tue Mar 31, 2020 9:18 am

Is there any other advice? Still trying to choose between the second draft and the current draft.
/bump
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Apr 01, 2020 1:29 am

[The Issue] – For the third time this week, a man has been shot by accident while hunting in @@NAME@@‘s forests. As per the usual, several people have descended upon your office shouting for a solution.


Premise-wise, the second sentence is redundant and can be deleted.

However the issue also needs something to make it an issue of national importance, rather than just a handful of tragic accidents that can be dealt with by forestry authorities and the like.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Baggieland
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Postby Baggieland » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:59 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:However the issue also needs something to make it an issue of national importance, rather than just a handful of tragic accidents that can be dealt with by forestry authorities and the like.


Maybe: the person shot was a foreign diplomat, so that would cause international incident.
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Kathol Rift
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Postby Kathol Rift » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:20 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
[The Issue] – For the third time this week, a man has been shot by accident while hunting in @@NAME@@‘s forests. As per the usual, several people have descended upon your office shouting for a solution.


Premise-wise, the second sentence is redundant and can be deleted.

However the issue also needs something to make it an issue of national importance, rather than just a handful of tragic accidents that can be dealt with by forestry authorities and the like.

The idea was that this is a large problem, like its getting to the point where it is happening several times a week, which means that something needs to be done. I’ll try to make it sound more urgent though.
Baggieland wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:However the issue also needs something to make it an issue of national importance, rather than just a handful of tragic accidents that can be dealt with by forestry authorities and the like.


Maybe: the person shot was a foreign diplomat, so that would cause international incident.

That is an interesting idea, but it would change the options fairly significantly. I’ll need to think on that.
Last edited by Kathol Rift on Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
| A nation that tries not to be imperialistic, it’s just so hard sometimes... | I do use NS stats | the three B’s: Big Military, Big Robot Birds, Big Tanks |


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