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[Submitted] Issue: Motorcycles Motor-Chaos

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

What do you think? (Voted "Needs Some Work" or "Trash"? Please tell me why!)

Amazing!
0
No votes
Good.
0
No votes
Needs Some Work.
2
100%
Trash!
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 2

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Katz Kingdom 2
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jun 13, 2017
Iron Fist Consumerists

[Submitted] Issue: Motorcycles Motor-Chaos

Postby Katz Kingdom 2 » Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:44 pm

Please tell me what you think of this issue proposal in the poll above!

[Title] Motorcycles Motor-Chaos

[Validity] All nations that don't have a ban on automobiles.

[Description] Motorcycle crashes have increased rapidly over the past two weeks resulting in mass injuries and fatalities. Your advisers have gathered in your office to discuss what must be done about these crashes.

[Option 1] Your Minister of Safety @@RANDOMNAME@@ stands up from her chair, her face a bright shade of red. "This is NOT acceptable! How can we allow these nut jobs to ride such ludicrous vehicles! @NATIONNAME@ is better than this! I say that we ban all motorcycles at once!" She storms out of your office in a huff.

[Fallout] Motorcycles have been put into the Museum of Ancient Dangerous Weapons.

[Option 2] Tech tycoon @@RANDOMNAME@@ lays out stacks of diagrams and charts and says energetically to you, "This is the perfect opportunity to discuss my new plans! Motorcycles are way in the past and are far too dangerous, but motorcyclists still want to be able to ride free through the streets. So, to resolve this issue, I have created a hover board motorcycle! With hyper magnets on the bottom, it will match and even raise the speeds of motorcycles, but also propel them away from cars, people or any other obstruction! Isn't it great!? All that I'd need is a little government funding to make all the streets magnetic so they actually work, but isn't that a small price to pay for such a huge technological advancement!"

[Fallout] Kids often lose their toy magnets when walking by the street.

[Option 3] An elderly motorcyclists crashes through your window on his motorcycle. "You can't get rid of motorcycles! I been riding on one o' these since you been born! Ya know what I say? Ban cars! Those worthless pieces o' junk don't get ya anywhere on time. I say we make the streets motorcycle only! Then we'll be more efficient and faster!" He jumps out of your shattered window and continues driving on the street.

[Fallout] Soccer moms now do carpools on the back of motorcycles.

Please tell me what you think of this in the poll above! If you chose "Needs Some Work" or "Trash", please tell me why so I can improve it!


Submitted.
Last edited by Katz Kingdom 2 on Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:38 pm, edited 8 times in total.
Thanks for reading my post! :D
Sincerely,
Katz Kingdom 2

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Candensia
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 393
Founded: Apr 20, 2017
Mother Knows Best State

Postby Candensia » Fri Sep 14, 2018 5:23 am

Heyo! Here are some pointers for you. :geek:

Options are not allowed to do nothing, which is the case in option 4. Doing nothing = Dismiss Button. Make sure all options are doing *something* actively.

Unless you’re trying to make a reference, names shouldn’t be fixed, use @@RANDOMNAME@@ instead.
Last edited by Candensia on Fri Sep 14, 2018 5:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Katz Kingdom 2
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jun 13, 2017
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Katz Kingdom 2 » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:11 am

Candensia wrote:Heyo! Here are some pointers for you. :geek:

Options are not allowed to do nothing, which is the case in option 4. Doing nothing = Dismiss Button. Make sure all options are doing *something* actively.

Unless you’re trying to make a reference, names shouldn’t be fixed, use @@RANDOMNAME@@ instead.


Fixed! Thank you for the pointers!
Thanks for reading my post! :D
Sincerely,
Katz Kingdom 2

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Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14184
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Sep 16, 2018 5:12 am

I'm confused by option 2
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USS Monitor
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Posts: 26291
Founded: Jul 01, 2015
19th Century Iron Steamship

Postby USS Monitor » Sun Sep 16, 2018 7:42 am

Katz Kingdom 2 wrote:[Description] Motorcycle crashes have increased rapidly over the past two weeks resulting in 7 casualties and 38 injuries. Your advisers have gathered in your office to discuss what must be done about these crashes.


Is it deliberate that these numbers are way low?
Don't take life so serious... it isn't permanent... RIP Dyakovo and Ashmoria
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Katz Kingdom 2
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jun 13, 2017
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Katz Kingdom 2 » Sun Sep 16, 2018 1:25 pm

I didn’t want to overdo it with huge numbers. What would you set it to?
Thanks for reading my post! :D
Sincerely,
Katz Kingdom 2

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 16234
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:18 am

Good to see new authors.

[Title] Motorcycles Motor-Chaos


Alliteration is considered to be a "last resort" approach for titles. Try and find an amusing pun around bikes or crashes - an online idiom dictionary is a good place to start, I find.

[Description] Motorcycle crashes have increased rapidly over the past two weeks resulting in 19 casualties and 84 injuries. Your advisers have gathered in your office to discuss what must be done about these crashes.


I'd suggest avoiding specific numbers if you're referring to total numbers of deaths, as a nation could have a hundred million or ten billion people in it. You could refer to a single incident with this number of casualties, or a single district in the capital reporting these numbers, or you could adjust language to avoid numbers altogether.

More critically though, there's a deficit of story here to build your issue around. Motorcycle crashes are up... Why? There's not enough information here to start making decisions off, and not enough story here to capture the imagination. Think a step deeper, and try to find a dilemma that is causing the crashes.

#727 is an example of how to approach this: it's also about accidents occurring, but a context is provided, along with some amusing mental imagery.
#456 is another example, and one that is about motorbike accidents, but focusing on helmets.

Basically try to emulate those ones without duplicating premises. Find a fresh angle on motorbike accidents, and you can build an issue.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:41 am, edited 2 times in total.


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