Lone Wolves United - For Your Protection

[A Bloodred Moon]

Pictured: GAer Secretary-General hopefuls

Dear General Assembly,

You say Murderers Get Nothing, and yet the GA regularly murders National Sovereignty. Curious.

As such, Lone Wolves United has decided to protect our self-determination and national sovereignty, the only kind of sovereignty. Joined by our Comrades in The West Pacific Armed Forces, we have once again struck a severe blow to the satanic pig dog elite that runs the so-called “General Assembly”. We set our eyes upon the strangely named proposal “Murderers Get Nothing”, a highly flawed proposal mostly due to the fact that it is a GA proposal. There are most certainly other things wrong with the text, we just haven’t read it.

Anyways, we set out on our great quest for national sovereignty. Naturally, we were very quiet and stealthy about our preparations for this operation, and so Defenders could not possibly have prepared for our great operation. The defender horde, consisting of two whole defenders awaited us for this epic clash. We won using tight triggers, great timing and perfect coordination.

At some point we missed a target due to the fact our point was banned, upon which Khan Chef Big Dog immediately moved to demote them for incompetence. Il-Khan Chef Big Dog then proceeded to make up for his mistake and was instantly promoted back to Khan. Congratulations to him!

The rest of the night was remarkably uneventful. We’d like to thank Concrete Slab is Jesus 47 for valiantly serving as our point before having to leave for reasons. We won’t be crediting them on the report but we appreciated their enthusiasm nevertheless.

At the end, having long done away with archaic concepts such as “triggering” or “having the slightest clue where update was”, we decided to simply squat it out in United Democratic Nations.

---

Khan Chef Big Dog
Khalif Red Crest
Taishi A Bloodred Moon
Kheshig Hyperwolf
Kheshig The Sea of Shadows
Wolf Maukto

Sailing Master Giovanniland
Boatswain Fujai
Striker First Class Noton Mast
Crewman Nouveauterra
Crewman Montrandec

[Notanam]

Congrats on the promotion from Khan to Khan Tom

[The Ice States]

(Image)
Pictured: GAer Secretary-General hopefuls

This is nothing like Secretary-General Catherine Gratwick...how about this, courtesy of Wallenburg,

[Refuge Isle]

(Image)
Pictured: GAer Secretary-General hopefuls

This is nothing like Secretary-General Catherine Gratwick...how about this, courtesy of Wallenburg,

No one:

Wallenburg: I combined Elizabeth Warren, Thatcher, and Rehnquist

[Wallenburg]

This is nothing like Secretary-General Catherine Gratwick...how about this, courtesy of Wallenburg,

No one:

Wallenburg: I combined Elizabeth Warren, Thatcher, and Rehnquist

Sometimes, once in a blue moon, AI slop generators have their moments.

[Dimetrodon Empire]

No one:

Wallenburg: I combined Elizabeth Warren, Thatcher, and Rehnquist

Sometimes, once in a blue moon, AI slop generators have their moments.

Yeah, that image is surprisingly good. I would have assumed a human made it if I wasn't told it was by AI.

[Soviet Kittystan]

Lone Wolves United accepts invitation to join BRICS bloc

---

JOHANNESBURG, March 10, 2024 (Reuters) - In a surprise move, THE BRICS NATIONS have agreed overnight to admit Lone Wolves United as a new member, in a move widely seen as an effort to bolster the bloc against the growing influence of the Modern Gameplay Compact.

The meeting, taking place only a few months after the admission of Egypt, Ethiopia, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Argentina, and Iran, is understood to have been a surprise to even the leaders of the existing BRICS bloc, who were visibly shaken during the press conference given immediately after the announcement.

“The meeting was short, and this is the outcome that we have agreed upon”, said Chinese President Xi Jinping, after giving the leading remarks on behalf of the bloc. “Consensus was achieved in a remarkably short time. I feel there is much we can achieve together to dismantle the liberal order, across the world”. When asked about his bloodied, missing ear, the President pretended(?) not to hear us.

“This addition will ensure that we are able to negotiate with the Modern Gameplay Compact on fair grounds”, stated Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi. “While our economic influence is unrivaled, the terrible reality is that the ego of Europeia is so enormous, that even we have been unable to meet their outrageous demands. I’m not building another new cricket stadium just for it to be named after JayDee. Don’t they only have a few dozen active members? Unbelievable.”

“I don’t give a shitting fuck”, sobbed Egyptian President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi, when asked about leaked draft plans to turn the Suez Canal into the world’s largest waterslide. “Please let me go home. I have a family”, he clarified, in tears. It is unclear whether or not anyone could care less about the Egyptian President’s family.

Russian President Vladimir Putin did not attend the press conference, and has reportedly not been seen in public since the late night meeting.

His Eminence, Great Khan Chief Big Dog (may his virtues endure!) has advised that all rumours of existing BRICS members being eaten to make way for the possible future inclusion of The West Pacific are “malignant and venomous”, and that he will “bite the face off anyone who repeats them, and then eat them, and then replace them with The West Pacific”.

More to come.

---

Khan Chef Big Dog

Cherbi The Sea of Shadows
Cherbi Bervinland
Cherbi Hyperwolf

Ghazi ZooeyDeschanel
Ghazi Soviet Kittystan
Ghazi Khalrum

Wolf Venus Flycrap
Wolf Democratic Zealandia
Wolf Scythaia
Wolf Maukto
Wolf Srylania
Wolf Weedpind
Wolf VanthaMerc

[A Bloodred Moon]

As Taishi and Director of the Department of Established External Relations (DEER) of Lone Wolves United, I can confirm we have the Chinese President's ear.

[Vando0sa]

Finally I got to raid! been a long time since one landed in the goldilocks zone!

[Ramlethal]

LWU stands with it's anti-imperialist allies in BRICLWUS! ✊✊

[Venus Flycrap]

The diplomatic mission sent to BRICS was highly successful, I see.

[Magicia]

Yet another Example of LWU's incredible diplomats' skills!
And remember, if it looks like they're 'attacking you', it's For Your Protection.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

As Taishi and Director of the Department of Established External Relations (DEER) of Lone Wolves United, I can confirm we have the Chinese President's ear.

To quote the Chinese President “Speak up I can’t hear you, some gits stole my ear”.

[Rosartemis]

I knew that LWU had an impressive foreign affairs department, but I didn't know it was to this extent!

[Rosartemis]

I knew that LWU had an impressive foreign affairs department, but I didn't know it was to this extent!

[Bhadeshistan]

Raider regions have gone too far with this one lol

[Soviet Kittystan]

BRICS bloc dissolved, blamed on undisclosed acts of God

---

JOHANNESBURG, March 18, 2024 (Reuters) - In a slightly less surprising move than last time, reporters were called back to the headquarters of THE BRICS NATIONS for a new press conference. The reason? BRICS has officially dissolved, effective immediately.

His Eminence, Great Khan Chief Big Dog (may his virtues endure!) was the only head of state present for the momentous announcement, still barely a few months since the bloc undertook a significant expansion of member nations. When asked why he alone announced the end of BRICS today, the Great Khan (may his virtues endure!) advised that all other parties had decided not to attend.

“To celebrate the momentous occasion of our inclusion within this esteemed group of states, we elected to host a barbeque on the plains in front of my grand yurt. No less than fifty-two wolves of honourable standing were in attendance for a respectable meet-and-greet with our new joint partners. Regrettably, while we can confirm that all international attendees left the party in the manner customary of that of guests at a great meeting of wolves, the governments of all other states were unable to confirm the safe return home of any of their dignitaries. God, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, has chosen another path for these people, and we thank the Almighty for his grace, vision, and advanced expertise and understanding of roast pork.”

The Great Khan (may his virtues endure!) of Lone Wolves United continued at length about the positive outcomes achieved at the garden party between the wolves and representatives, but declined to answer questions at the end of the briefing.

---

[Improper Classifications]

my formal condolences for the BRICS alliance, though I'm sure chef big dog will continue to cook

also I think y'all forgot one

[Ramlethal]

my formal condolences for the BRICS alliance, though I'm sure chef big dog will continue to cook

also I think y'all forgot one
(Image)

What are you on about, the region evidently has only one nation in it.

[Hulldom]

How sad! I can’t believe Lone Wolves United is on the side of big global capital like Lone Wolves United!

[Srylania]

sigma riad

[Soviet Kittystan]

Realm of the Whispering Winds granted by God to Lone Wolves United

---

Listen and know of His incredible works, wolves of the world! God Almighty has granted unto us a victory over the defender hordes, which cannot be undone without the perfidious machinations of the World Assembly Security Council.

Our forces, enlightened and inebriated, undertook a daring operation in the dead of night and seized the grand palace of the Realm of the Whispering Winds, with the assistance of The West Pacific. Despite the fact that this region was the center of attention in the World Assembly, not a single watch was stationed by defenders to warn of such an operation. This truth was confirmed by the fact that the cover of our secret mission was inadvertently blown nearly two minutes before the order to commence the assault was issued. As natives and defenders alike slumbered, another victory was claimed in the name of the Khanate.

Defenders, scorned by their own decision to overlook the safety of the most obvious raid target in the world, leapt into action and attempted to retake the region at minor. They unveiled no less than twenty sleepers hidden within the palatial walls, and drove twenty more in from outside. But no wolf crumbles in the face of a challenge. Supported by an ever increasing garrison from both The West Pacific and Carcassonne, the Great Khan Chief Big Dog (may his virtues endure!) drove the barbarous and vile forces of Libcord back beyond the gates; their trigger, blown, and their chances dashed.

Twenty-three hours after our occupation commenced, WASC resolution #411 was repealed. The delegates representing Europeia, The North Pacific, Concord and The Rejected Realms were already voting against the proposal before the invasion occurred, and not enough support could be found from other sources to change the result. Watching on in horror, the World Assembly Elites were unable to prevent the infernal bureaucracy of their subordinated body from grinding towards an unwanted end. Outfoxed entirely, the World Assembly, too, was defeated by the Khanate.

Above all of us, God was watching down upon the mortal world. He witnessed the mastery of the wolves, His most faithful disciples, as we inflicted repeated humiliations upon those who would set themselves against Wolfism. He accepted our works, done in the name of glorifying Him, and granted us a great boon, so that all would know that we are favored by the Almighty. Upon the completion of the repeal, He anointed the Realm of the Whispering Wind with a password. Gleaming and golden, it stood in the way of any further defender attempts to oust our coalition; secret and secure, it could not be deciphered by any other sleepers still present. A mercy to defenders, for this password saved them from the inevitably mortifying results of yet another planned assault, surely doomed to failure once more. A glittering dome continues to shield the palace complex, and all who dwell within and nearby gaze on in enchanted reverence.

A new liberation proposal is now pending quorum approval in the WASC. Despite the intention for this resolution to be presented to all nations and regions across NationStates, it blasphemously makes no mention of the cryptographic wonders in the skies today. Defenders will do anything necessary to cover up the truth- Great Khan Chief Big Dog (may his virtues endure!) has been granted the Mandate of Heaven. We watch and wait to see if the World Assembly is truly depraved enough to reject the miracles of God.

---

Lone Wolves United
Khan Chef Big Dog
Khalif Red Crest
Cherbi The Sea of Shadows
Cherbi Hyperwolf
Ghazi Soviet Kittystan
Wolf Scythaia
Wolf Srylania

The West Pacific
Captain Teralyon
Boatswain Fujai
Striker First Class Noton Mast

[Hulldom]

The Mandate of Heaven is surely upon you. Hail Evil Wolf! Hail the Great Khan Tom (may his virtues endure)!

[Chef Big Dog]

I sincerely hope that any defenders that have been involved in or paid attention to this situation will take the opportunity to submit themselves to the will of heaven. This is yet another event that provides irrefutable proof of the righteousness of the Wolfist cause.

Only through embracing Wolfism and defecting from defending to Lone Wolves United can defenders atone for their innumerable sins and align themselves with the will of heaven. So it was revealed to me when I was driving home after drinking 5 margaritas.

[A Bloodred Moon]

I don’t even fault Defenders for failing to foresee the password, since I didn’t expect it either. I found its reinstatement hysterical, but I can’t say I predicted it. I am, however, somewhat baffled we were allowed to raid it in the first place. It does not take a veteran R/D commander to recognise we were going to target the region when the repeal went to vote; in fact, the native apparently did expect it, asked them, and yet Defenders didn’t pile it. Leading Defenders were in a VC where it was raised as a potential target as a joke, from my understanding. A TITO knight even raised the low endocount in their voting thread. It could not have been any more obvious to anyone looking that we were going after it, and yet.

If I was a Defender footsoldier, my faith in Defending’s leadership would be at rock bottom at the moment for such a spectacular failure to anticipate the single-most obvious thing we could possibly do. The heavens truly smile upon the Wolfist cause, comrades, for the incompetence of our enemies is nothing short of miraculous.