News you can count on to be always accurate, clearly unbiased, and 100% fair to everyone!
The sensitive nature of these very accurate, completely true articles means that there might be controversy generated. Keep in mind that we only report the truest news, discerned by top-quality investigators, and we promise we didn't get our very factual information from any of the usual sources. Everything published is the [violet]-honest truth. If we wrote it, you can count on it!
Any and all events will be fresh, new, and not already in the rumor mill. If they are, we'll be firing the staff and replacing it with something more reliable. Our agents are everywhere -- your friends, your NS family, and your super secret servers -- so don't worry about leaking all of your important news. We do it for you! Gameplay deserves to hear everything that happens ever. Make sure it happens by accidentally leaking your secrets so we can publish them.
You heard it here first, folks! Better improve your intelligence networks if you really want to compete with us.
Releases To Date:
Issue #1: TBA
Disclaimer:
This is a satirical paper, so please read this subtext to fully enjoy content. Any and all mentions of players are intended to be fictionalized parodies of current situations based very, very loosely on some reality. Any and all logs released are 100% fictional and are not intended to malign any players. This is not intended to take any side in any event, nor is it to generate controversy, so please move all drama regarding said event and everyone involved over to one of the relevant super serious threads.