An Apology Letter to NationStates

[Vaculatestar64]

Dear fellow denizens of NationStates,

I come before you all today on bended knee to ask you for your forgiveness. Some of you who may be uninformed or unfamiliar with my past and my situation may ask “what for?” Allow me to go into detail on this matter. As many of you know, for several years I put on a uniform every single day, and walked out my front door to protect the public as a Correctional Officer for right around three years. Well it was during that time that my mental capacity to deal with drama that maybe during my high school and college years I could handle no sweat, could no longer handle effectively without breaking. I did break, on multiple occasions. I broke in some rather severe ways, lashing out in anger to deal with the regular frustration I experienced on the job. At people who did not deserve it, and reacting in too severe a manner for those who did warrant some sort of punishment for a wrong against the region that I sought to protect and build for years, The Kingdom of Great Britain.

Now I’m not attempting to use this as an excuse, what I did, and the things I said, were inexcusable, and should never have been said or done. And for this, I offer my sincere apologies. To all people who I have wronged, I apologize profusely. People who are still in the game that I have wronged and can remember include Altino, Rigel, Bunny, Don, Victor, Owen, Brunilde, and so many more in the game and no longer playing the game that I have left out, but all deserve an apology, and an apology is what I am offering.

I have a saying that I have been using for years “an apology is only sincere if you never do it again”. It is now up to me to play by my own rules. Since KoGB originally decided it was best to part ways with me, I have since committed myself to change. Have I been perfect? No, I am still human and I did mess up along my road to rehabilitation. But trying every day I have been. I have since changed careers, and have had many amazing people along the way both from NationStates, and from my real life assisting me in reining in any raw emotions left over from my three years of seeing the worst of humanity 53.5 hours per week. Being part of that system takes a toll on a human being that I would not wish upon my worst enemy. I witnessed things I wish I hadn’t. At the time I was too young, too immature, and too unsure of how to process the feelings it gave me.

I am sincerely sorry. All I ask ask for is one last chance from the people I have called my friends over the past 5-6 years. I understand that many of you have no cause to trust my word, I don’t blame you. I would ask you to consider how you might wish to be treated in a similar situation. Making amends is part of the process towards rehabilitation, and that is what I wish to do here, if you will allow me.

If any of you have cause, or would wish to meet with me individually and talk through our problems in the past, I’ll be happy to do so. Drop me a DM on Discord.

[Davelands]

OK... I gave everyone 12 hours. I guess I'll go first.

You don't know me Vac, but I had to comfort and advise some of the people you wronged.

It takes a big person to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Good job on your part. That being said, I am a believer in the old phrase "actions speak louder than words."

Be good and eliminate the actions that caused so much trouble and over time and we'll see how it goes. Remember, you only get one chance at redemption.

Best of luck.

[Canton Empire]

I believe that everyone deserves, and can receive, a second chance. I wish you the absolute best of luck in finding your way towards that second chance.

[Greater Cesnica]

Aww, no worries.



We forgive you!

[Brunhizzle]

Brunilde

RIP my name.

I'll believe the apology when it becomes clear that it will be more than words. That said, that requires me to give you a chance and I'll do that.

[King Alexander]

This must become more then hollow words Vac. I'll give you the chance required, and I stand ready to assist where I can.

[Vaculatestar64]

The chance I'm being given from everyone is more than appreciated. I'll be sure to not waste it.

[Mutesetsa]

Good to see everyone giving you another shot, you were awesome in TGO and I hope you won't forget us!

glhf

[Vaculatestar64]

Brunilde

RIP my name.

I'll believe the apology when it becomes clear that it will be more than words. That said, that requires me to give you a chance and I'll do that.

To bad those were empty words.

[Ikania]

RIP my name.

I'll believe the apology when it becomes clear that it will be more than words. That said, that requires me to give you a chance and I'll do that.

To bad those were empty words.

What?

[Brunhizzle]

To bad those were empty words.

There is a difference between giving you the opportunity to redeem yourself and erasing your past along with its punishments. You're still receiving a third chance, but a third chance does not entail forgiveness for the two you already spent.

[Canton Empire]

To bad those were empty words.

What?

I think Vac is implying to Brunhilde lied about offering a second chance.

[Vaculatestar64]

It's not hard to common sense where the pressure came from to make KGB do what it just did. Is it, Brun? Another chance implies allowing me to remain in the game.

[Lord Ravenclaw]

It's not hard to common sense where the pressure came from to make KGB do what it just did. Is it, Brun? Another chance implies allowing me to remain in the game.

For the benefit of those of us who do not pay any attention to the British sphere of NS, would you mind explaining what they just did?

[Vaculatestar64]

It's not hard to common sense where the pressure came from to make KGB do what it just did. Is it, Brun? Another chance implies allowing me to remain in the game.

For the benefit of those of us who do not pay any attention to the British sphere of NS, would you mind explaining what they just did?

A large amount of foreign imfluences, some of which posted in this thread, forced KGB into outing me again.

[Lord Ravenclaw]

For the benefit of those of us who do not pay any attention to the British sphere of NS, would you mind explaining what they just did?

A large amount of foreign imfluences, some of which posted in this thread, forced KGB into outing me again.

Outing you? This doesn't read like a coming out thread, and I have some experience with that.

What foreign influence?

[Vaculatestar64]

A large amount of foreign imfluences, some of which posted in this thread, forced KGB into outing me again.

Outing you? This doesn't read like a coming out thread, and I have some experience with that.

What foreign influence?

As hilarious as that is, you can look at the usual regions that abuse their preeminence in this game to force others to do what they want or they'll rip the region apart, and there you have it.

[Kylia Quilor]

Outing you? This doesn't read like a coming out thread, and I have some experience with that.

What foreign influence?

As hilarious as that is, you can look at the usual regions that abuse their preeminence in this game to force others to do what they want or they'll rip the region apart, and there you have it.

Names, Vaccy boy, Names.

[Cormactopia Prime]

Upon receiving more information, I was wrong and would prefer not to be involved in this.

[Lord Ravenclaw]

Outing you? This doesn't read like a coming out thread, and I have some experience with that.

What foreign influence?

As hilarious as that is, you can look at the usual regions that abuse their preeminence in this game to force others to do what they want or they'll rip the region apart, and there you have it.

We might define "abuse" differently. I am surprised that you even registered on the radar of some of the preeminent regions in NationStates.

What did you do this time? If Europeia and the Land of Kings and Emperors to name two likely examples felt the need to demand something than there would normally be a good reason for it. Given your presence in the Imperialist bloc, and the closest working partners for that bloc tend to be the Republic of Europeia or one of the raiding organisations (who don't tend to make demands like you claim have been made), it would appear that somehow you have managed to offend.

Thus, I think I'm not alone in asking what did you do and why did you decide to post a public apology that only a small number of people would know or care about? Is this any different to your prior apologies by the way?

(I haven't, to any observers watching, named any defender communities since this player isn't exactly known for being part of them)

[Falangian Europe]

This seems more like it would be better suited in a REGIONAL telegram, rather than it's own thread.
What you did from my knowledge is a regional thing, you didn't for say stab everyone who plays NS in the back.

[Digory Kirke]

This seems more like it would be better suited in a REGIONAL telegram, rather than it's own thread.
What you did from my knowledge is a regional thing, you didn't for say stab everyone who plays NS in the back.

Well, you're not a mod, so you don't get to make said decision. If you think this doesn't belong here, report it in Moderation.

[King Alexander]

Ummmmm can we just not?

See, this is a primary example of why action was taken. Not to say I'm not fond of you Vac but rather then going after someone who can't even be confirmed as to the reason you were removed, you could have handled this behind closed doors. See, the thing that is getting you is the willingness to come out in public and bash those who are believed to be responsible without even first consulting the person who ordered it.

You see, I knew that inviting you back would cause a minor stir however I didn't truly realise the effect it would have on Foreign Relations until it actually happened. You're a great person, I don't deny that. You and I are good friends outside of this game and we both know that you have changed for the better, however we also both know just how toxic this game can be and what happens once things are said and done that can not be unsaid and undone. In general, people may well admit that you have changed but as for giving you a second chance I don't think they will allow that for quite some time. I do apologise but I have to put the interests of my region above all. I do hope you can understand that.

[Vaculatestar64]

This seems more like it would be better suited in a REGIONAL telegram, rather than it's own thread.
What you did from my knowledge is a regional thing, you didn't for say stab everyone who plays NS in the back.

I've been in a lot of regions in my time. But that's beside the point.

Also since I'm unsure how to quote multiple in a single post on here, if you ask me how I can be such a noob on these forums most people know I've been around a long while, and just look at that YUUUUUGE post count on here. So I'll just say here that I'm responding to Ravens latest post. I chose NSGP because it's the only way to ensure the wider masses of the NSGP community would see it. I'm not certain who would have me blocked on Discord, though I have cleared my block list, some people have DM's limited in a certain way that makes me have to be in a server with them which again, makes things more interesting in contacting people personally. So this was the easiest, most effective way of handling it.

Edit 1: Typo

[Brunhizzle]

It's not hard to common sense where the pressure came from to make KGB do what it just did. Is it, Brun? Another chance implies allowing me to remain in the game.

I don't know what you think I did, but I didn't lead some coalition to get KGB to ban you. I didn't lobby their legislative bodies or petition their government nor did I ask their SIS Director to declare you a security threat. I told KGB that I would leave if you were unbanned and I was content with doing just that. I am content in ignoring you to let you do whatever you want to redeem yourself so long as it doesn't involve me.

That sentiment never changed. Your banishment in KGB had nothing to do with me pushing for it. I didn't seek it out. I was, however, asked for advice about what to do after KGB's Foreign Agenda started to take a hit upon your return. I didn't give it. I told KGB that your return would mean the end of my assistance months ago and I meant it.

Brunhilde - Today at 12:14 AM
I told you KGB would lose my advice and support if it let Vac in

I had no part in the decision that got you banned. Upon your return to KGB, my association with it ended and I have not taken part in any of its decision-making processes.

I think Vac is implying to Brunhilde lied about offering a second chance.

Third chance, actually. The first two didn't go so well. I'm not lying about the third chance either. I just don't want any part of it until it seems like he's earned forgiveness.

Because to me, it means leaving them alone and giving them an opportunity to prove they've changed, not chasing them out of regions.

Which is exactly what I've done. I've had no input in any region's decision(if there are any other than KGB) to ban him. I've ignored him completely.

If Europeia and the Land of Kings and Emperors to name two likely examples felt the need to demand something than there would normally be a good reason for it.

The only position I hold in NationStates is one of Vice Chancellor in Europeia, a position which is a glorified election commissioner. My words are backed by no one but myself.