SNN-Kaiserreich Won't Fight Fascism, Welcomes Nazi Diplomats

[Spicy News Network]

[Spicy News Network]

KAISERREICH WON'T FIGHT FASCISM, WELCOMES NAZI DIPLOMATS


Kaiserreich FM Cresenthia and Nazi Europa Lindenbrau meeting for dinner

THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS STORY AND WILL BE UPDATED EVENTUALLY

In an interesting turn of events today, the President and Founder of The Republic of Channel Island, Canton Empire, made a very bold statement within the Gameplay Forum. In a Special Address, the President and Founder condemned the well-known fascist bastion of Nazi Europa for committing an "unprovoked attack" using "sleeper agents" on the Republic of Channel Island. If you, dear reader, are incredibly confused as to how someone could successfully damage a region with a non-executive delegate and an active founder, you are just as confused as our Editorial Staff were when they saw this story. However, here at Spicy News Network, we're not here to peddle fake news, alternative facts, fictitious statements, or imaginative interpretations, and are therefore here to present you our very ethical briefing on the matter. Buckle Up Buckaroos because this is where it gets incredibly interesting.

In a shocking turn of events, Cresenthia, Foreign Minister of well-known fascist hub Kaiserreich, made a bold statement within the embassy of Channel Island. We will analyze the individual parts of Cresenthia's statement here, for our readers.

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SNN has reached out to Channel Island and Kaiserreich for comment

Kaiserreich refuses to condemn Nazi Europa, leaves back doors open!

In the first part of Cresenthia's statement, among other things, Kaiserreich ruled out any sort of military support for The Republic of Channel Island in these trying times, which is shocking given their very powerful military. However, what they also stated is that they would rule our public support for either party. That is correct, Kaiserreich has officially not ruled out providing any sort backdoor diplomatic favors with its close proud, fascist friends Nazi Europa. The Spicy News Network is incredibly concerned with this development, and believe this fully demonstrates the manipulative nature of Kaiserreich during this ongoing situation.

Kaiserreich invites Nazi Diplomats to summit

In a following part of the statement, Kaiserreich invited its close-friends Nazi Europa to any sort of potential peace summits, obviously to be hosted by Kaiserreich. SNN reporters who snuck into Kaiserreichs Diplomatic Palace reported seeing cigar lounges, cushy couches, and servants waiting with grape vines for every beckoning of diplomats. SNN would not feel personally comfortable coming into this place, and we'd be very concerned for any representatives of Channel Island choosing to walk into this place, where close friends Kaiserreich and Nazi Europa would be meeting with them. Any meeting between the two parties should happen in a truly neutral venue, not in the cigar lounges of a fascist region with a long-time support for the party violating another region's sovereignty.

Kaiserreich still doesn't know German

In a devastating turn of events, not only did well-known fascists Kaiserreich show their duplicitous pro-Nazi Europa nature, but they also still fail to use the proper language of the source material they claim to so avidly love. Even after the well-written and incredibly ethical dispatch #CommieFendasForSpellCheck, written by Grey Wardens First Warden, and fluent German speaker, Roavin, highlighted all of the numerous errors that Kaiserreich has in its attempts to properly use German, Kaiserreich has continued to perpetuate Wehraboo* culture, and fail to have any real grasp on German grammar. Wir sind von KAISERREICH sehr enttäuscht. Die fortwährende Verbreitung dieses gefälschten Deutsches trägt letztendlich nur zum Leid eigentlicher Deutscher Spieler bei.

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How this conflict between Nazi Europa, backed by their backdoor allies Kaiserreich, against the Republic of Channel Island will go, time will only tell. However, SNN will be on the front lines of the fight, getting you the latest scoop.

Thank you, and good night!

SNN has reached out to both the fascists in Kaiserreich and to The Republic of Channel Island for comment.

*A Wehraboo is a term for Germany fanboys that can't be bothered to actually learn about Germany

[Spicy News Network]

UPDATE: The President of Channel Island Speaks

After a request for interview, The Republic of Channel Island's President sent this statement

Well, NE, in an obvious lack of gameplay mechanics knowledge, decided to tag raid our region using a sleeper. I'm not sure what the endgame was, but they will be punished for it. Their lack of knowledge will help.

You heard it here first, in this exclusive News Update. Nazi Europa has a lack of gameplay mechanics knowledge, and will now be punished. We wish the Republic of Channel Island the best in their glorious conflict against Fascism.

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Cresenthia, Foreign Minister for the Fascist Region of Kaiserreich, is still pending a comment.

[Cerian Quilor]

Kaiserreich works with Nazis! This and other news of the obvious at 11!

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Now that the obligatory snark is out of the way, I would like to compliment you on your top-form snark and sarcasm Re: Kaiserreich. I hope to see more from SNN.

[Consular]

No doubt Cresenthia will continue to complain about how CAIN is oppressing his beloved Kaiserreich regardless.

[Pergamon]

This reminds me of something. So this is what the PNN would look like if there is added spice to it? Good Job Comrades. Glorious read.

[Cresenthia]

This "news story" is full of bullshit. And offering to broker talks is just that, it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace. The only decent thing about this news network is its name, but that makes everything understandable.

[Drop Your Pants]

it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace.

Working for peace with Nazi's isn't working with them? i recommend taking a break from Gameplay for a bit, you're starting to confuse yourself.

[Kurnugia]

This "news story" is full of bullshit. And offering to broker talks is just that, it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace. The only decent thing about this news network is its name, but that makes everything understandable.

Well... at least Roavin did not portray you as Hitler. Tbh, Italy is a far more fitting theme for the Military of KReich.

[Tim-Opolis]

This "news story" is full of bullshit. And offering to broker talks is just that, it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace. The only decent thing about this news network is its name, but that makes everything understandable.

Well... at least Roavin did not portray you as Hitler. Tbh, Italy is a far more fitting theme for the Military of KReich.

In that it's mostly inactive and generally ineffective?

Roavin definitely didn't write this though.

[Kurnugia]

In that it's mostly inactive and generally ineffective?

Roavin definitely didn't write this though.

I assumed it cuz of the german sentence. Welp

[Tinhampton]

Will SNN focus itself exclusively on KAISERREICH "from an outsider's perspective", or is it going to dive into other news from around the GP world?

[Benevolent Thomas]

Will SNN focus itself exclusively on KAISERREICH "from an outsider's perspective", or is it going to dive into other news from around the GP world?

I sincerely hope the latter.

[Spicy News Network]

Will SNN focus itself exclusively on KAISERREICH "from an outsider's perspective", or is it going to dive into other news from around the GP world?

Whatever's spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

This "news story" is full of bullshit. And offering to broker talks is just that, it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace. The only decent thing about this news network is its name, but that makes everything understandable.

We apologize that our reporting of the situation does not fall in line with the Kaiserreich rhetoric.

[Cresenthia]

Will SNN focus itself exclusively on KAISERREICH "from an outsider's perspective", or is it going to dive into other news from around the GP world?

Whatever's spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

This "news story" is full of bullshit. And offering to broker talks is just that, it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace. The only decent thing about this news network is its name, but that makes everything understandable.

We apologize that our reporting of the situation does not fall in line with the Kaiserreich rhetoric.

For something calling itself the "Spicy News Network" I expected that these would be Spicey (as in Sean Spicer) facts anyway.

[Benevolent Thomas]

For something calling itself the "Spicy News Network" I expected that these would be Spicey (as in Sean Spicer) facts anyway.

A satirical take on Sean Spicer putting spin on NSGP happenings is not an unfunny idea. You may be alright, Cres.

[SYG]

This "news story" is full of bullshit. And offering to broker talks is just that, it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace. The only decent thing about this news network is its name, but that makes everything understandable.

Who are you

[Cresenthia]

This "news story" is full of bullshit. And offering to broker talks is just that, it's not working with Nazis, it's working for peace. The only decent thing about this news network is its name, but that makes everything understandable.

Who are you

Erm, someone mentioned in the article? Did you read it?

[Pergamon]

Who are you

Erm, someone mentioned in the article? Did you read it?

That was a rhetorical question and the only legit answer would have been:

Irrelevant.

[SYG]

Irrelevant.

Much obliged, comrade. I shall carry on now.

[Remnants of Exilvania]

In that it's mostly inactive and generally ineffective?

Roavin definitely didn't write this though.

I assumed it cuz of the german sentence. Welp

If Roavin is supposed to be fluent in german, I would have questioned his fluency after reading the second german sentence.
I never understand how people can make such easy mistakes as starting the adjectives with capital letters.

[Roavin]

I assumed it cuz of the german sentence. Welp

If Roavin is supposed to be fluent in german, I would have questioned his fluency after reading the second german sentence.
I never understand how people can make such easy mistakes as starting the adjectives with capital letters.

Ich bin zwar nicht Autor des Textes, aber ich half dem Autor bei diesen zwei deutschen Sätzen. Es geht hier um ein Adjektiv, nicht mehrere, und dieses wurde absichtlich großgeschrieben für nicht-deutschsprachige Spieler, die zwar diese zwei Sätze an sich nicht verstehen, jedoch das Wort "Deutsch" erkennen. Auch wenn das theoretisch nicht grammatikalisch richtig ist, so verleiht es der reinen Optik mehr Nachdruck. Aus diesem geringfügigen (und bewussten) Fehler die fliessenden Sprachkenntnisse anzuzweifeln ist übertrieben pingelig; da ist der alltägliche Sprachgebrauch in Deutschland mit weitaus mehr Fehlern unterlaufen.

[Werty Onlineed]

I assumed it cuz of the german sentence. Welp

If Roavin is supposed to be fluent in german, I would have questioned his fluency after reading the second german sentence.

Yes, because wannabe-weaaboo Germans like those in KAISERREICH and similar regions know much more about the German language and culture than RL Germans.

[Pergamon]

If Roavin is supposed to be fluent in german, I would have questioned his fluency after reading the second german sentence.
I never understand how people can make such easy mistakes as starting the adjectives with capital letters.

Ich bin zwar nicht Autor des Textes, aber ich half dem Autor bei diesen zwei deutschen Sätzen. Es geht hier um ein Adjektiv, nicht mehrere, und dieses wurde absichtlich großgeschrieben für nicht-deutschsprachige Spieler, die zwar diese zwei Sätze an sich nicht verstehen, jedoch das Wort "Deutsch" erkennen. Auch wenn das theoretisch nicht grammatikalisch richtig ist, so verleiht es der reinen Optik mehr Nachdruck. Aus diesem geringfügigen (und bewussten) Fehler die fliessenden Sprachkenntnisse anzuzweifeln ist übertrieben pingelig; da ist der alltägliche Sprachgebrauch in Deutschland mit weitaus mehr Fehlern unterlaufen.

Über 7,5 Millionen Menschen in Deutschland können nicht richtig lesen und schreiben.

Und Pseudo-Deutsche und Fanatische-Wannabes aus dem Ausland können es garnicht.

I am starting to love this thread.

[Remnants of Exilvania]

If Roavin is supposed to be fluent in german, I would have questioned his fluency after reading the second german sentence.
I never understand how people can make such easy mistakes as starting the adjectives with capital letters.

Ich bin zwar nicht Autor des Textes, aber ich half dem Autor bei diesen zwei deutschen Sätzen. Es geht hier um ein Adjektiv, nicht mehrere, und dieses wurde absichtlich großgeschrieben für nicht-deutschsprachige Spieler, die zwar diese zwei Sätze an sich nicht verstehen, jedoch das Wort "Deutsch" erkennen. Auch wenn das theoretisch nicht grammatikalisch richtig ist, so verleiht es der reinen Optik mehr Nachdruck. Aus diesem geringfügigen (und bewussten) Fehler die fliessenden Sprachkenntnisse anzuzweifeln ist übertrieben pingelig; da ist der alltägliche Sprachgebrauch in Deutschland mit weitaus mehr Fehlern unterlaufen.

Ich weiß, dass es um nur ein Adjektiv geht. Aber du bist ja wohl auch nicht mehrere Leute, oder? Es kommt öfters vor, dass irgendwelche Buben meinen, sie müssen unsere heißgeliebten Adjektive großschreiben.
Übrigens wegen wäre wahrscheinlich besser gewesen als aus.

Aber tja, der liebe Herrgott hat mich halt als einen pingeligen Pedanten geschaffen. Wobei ja auch ich nicht gegen Fehler gefeit bin was Adjektive angeht. Hat mir der Kapitän auch direkt unter die Nase gerieben.

If Roavin is supposed to be fluent in german, I would have questioned his fluency after reading the second german sentence.

Yes, because wannabe-weaaboo Germans like those in KAISERREICH and similar regions know much more about the German language and culture than RL Germans.

Ich dachte der Ausdruck Weaabo betrifft nur diese Wahnsinnigen die es mit Animes etwas zu weit treiben? Naja, auf jeden Fall kann ich dir sagen, dass BLITZKRIEG nicht mal ansatzweise etwas mit KAISERREICH zu tun hat und ihm auch nicht ähnelt. Mal abgesehen davon, dass bei der Schaffung beider Regionen wohl die Feststelltaste gedrückt wurde.
Und jetzt komm mal her Freundchen und besuch mich in Deutschland. Ich bin mir sicher ich kann dir eine Stadtführung geben, dich in die richtigen Museen bringen, welche dich über deutsche Kultur aufklären werden, und außerdem in meine Schule einladen wo meine Deutschlehrer dir sicherlich gerne etwas Deutsch einbläuen würden.

Was ich damit sagen will ist, dass du nicht einfach irgendwelche Annahmen hier über mich machen solltest.

Über 7,5 Millionen Menschen in Deutschland können nicht richtig lesen und schreiben.

Und Pseudo-Deutsche und Fanatische-Wannabes aus dem Ausland können es garnicht.

I am starting to love this thread.

Was sind denn bitte Pseudo-Deutsche? Meinst du diese amerikanischen Idioten die mit ihrem Hundertstel Quäntchen Blutes angeben und meinen es wäre deutsch und damit wären auch sie deutsch? Das sind mir so richtige Jammerlappen

Aber na ja, immerhin sind es nur 7,5 Million, nicht wahr? Und glücklicherweise gehöre ich nicht zu dieser Truppe. Ich habe 4 Jahre Grundschule genossen, bin als Schnellläufer ans Gymnasium gekommen (Schnellläufer wurde dort dann nur ein-zwei Jahre später abgeschafft und Schnelllerner eingeführt) und bin jetzt dabei mein Abitur zu machen.