The Roman Empire

by **Tim-Opolis** » Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:59 pm

Jesus christ, that might be the cringiest R/D report I've seen in years.

by **Reventus Koth** » Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:26 pm

Lmao, get over yourselves, folks. Are we really going to go down the "cringe" rabbit hole?

by **The Noble Thatcherites** » Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:27 pm

Holy Moly.... That was... bad.

by **RiderSyl** » Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:51 pm

Reventus Koth wrote:Lmao, get over yourselves, folks. Are we really going to go down the "cringe" rabbit hole?

Just because we don't share your Malice-level of tolerance for cringey meme humor doesn't mean we need to get over ourselves

In fact, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't appreciate it if you were just expressing your opinion on something and someone else came in and said "Lmao get over yourself"

But hey, don't let your hypocrisy get in the way of a chance to... point out hypocrisy?
It really is a rabbit hole isn't it

by **Reventus Koth** » Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:57 pm

RiderSyl wrote:
Reventus Koth wrote:Lmao, get over yourselves, folks. Are we really going to go down the "cringe" rabbit hole?

Just because we don't share your Malice-level of tolerance for cringey meme humor doesn't mean we need to get over ourselves

In fact, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't appreciate it if you were just expressing your opinion on something and someone else came in and said "Lmao get over yourself"

But hey, don't let your hypocrisy get in the way of a chance to... point out hypocrisy?
It really is a rabbit hole isn't it

Have opinions all you'd like. I'm on record already saying that I don't think this sort of thing should be against the rules, which was my main concern here. Say what you will about my intentions pointing out the hypocrisy here, but I have long since accepted raid/defense reports for the usual low-brow, low-effort humor they are. It's just interesting to see that this is where we draw the line now.

by **RiderSyl** » Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:06 pm

Reventus Koth wrote:<snip>

Since this discussion has already been taken off-thread, I'll counter this elsewhere.

Obviously not a fan of the report. I blame the presence of The Invaders. They infect everything they touch.

by **Roman Reporter** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:40 am

40000 year old Roman legionaries purging xeno-barbarian lands

Back to the (Past)Future

The year is 40,000AD and the planet of Terra has been completely cleaned out from undesirable populations. No barbarians of any kind remain, only pure-blooded Romans reside on Terra and the planet is completely united under one authority and one goal. The vastness of the Empire is so great that its authority stretches throughout many solar systems, and it has been this way since the time of the great Crusade when the God-Emperor sought out all barbarian worlds previously colonized by humanity and unified them. However the world of man is not a utopia, and the people of Rome are not as thriving as they once were. Since the discovery of great technology all legionaries were turned into immortal super soldiers, with implants and genetic modifications as well as incredible military equipment. The God-Emperor, once but a humble regular Emperor, can not even leave his chambers. For he is completely immobile, WA-stuck to his throne which provides life support to his wounded and decaying body. Not even a shadow of his former self, with tubes and metal probes going through his organs and keeping his structure intact.

The entire population of the Empire is militarized, like it was 40,000 years ago, however time has made it quite different. There are no fertile people in Rome, as the process of turning them into supersoldiers has made them sterile. Now people are created through scientific means using ancient genetic material found in pre-industrialization tombs and graves. The Patricians of Rome, no longer quite human themselves, have not left their terrifyingly colossal megapalaces in thousands of years. Through many years of gradual upgrades and implants, they have almost entirely become machines, appearing human only on the surface. It is they who run the Empire now, using the barely living God-Emperor as a symbol to rally fanatical legionaries around and to create more and more propaganda. The deep roots of their secret police run through every aspect of life, and are in the end connected into the mechanized brains which process this information at an alarming speed. Any elements appearing to be of barbarian in nature or at the risk of the interest of those who rule are immediately purged.

However, this did not occur without reason, and this bizarre structure continues moving forward due to one reason. It is because of that which lies within the Immaterium and feeds on the fear, anger, lust, and all other primal emotions of the Roman world. The Chaos hordes which only access the world of man through unholy jump points that go through dimensions and connect the two worlds. They prey on the weak minded and heavy hearted, and devour all who are not strong enough to keep them away. Since the day which was engraved in every Roman's mind as the end of their world, when the gateways to the Immaterium opened and unending hordes of daemons and unspeakable creatures kept pouring out of them. When legionaries were faced with foes of shapes and behavior which none of their most perverse fantasies had ever dreamt of and tens of millions of soldiers were torn apart in numerous ways. When not even the strongest defenses which were built to keep out xeno invaders could stop the carnage that these daemons brought and entire worlds were sacrificed in the name of the four gods. Some, in hope of retaining their limbs and lives, converted to the blasphemous faith of these monsters but only found their souls being tightly gripped by the dark ones as their mortal bodies deformed into obscene formations. Many of these heretics did not maintain their sanity, and all were cursed to an eternity of servitude and pain.

Chaos Fleets entering Roman territory

Despite such powerful deities attacking the Roman Empire, the God-Emperor managed to stop their assault and slay many champions of the chaos gods which were sent to stop his counter-attack. A new line of defense was established, much stronger than the one before with new technology created especially for the horrors that recently appeared. But after so much fighting, no one quite remembers how long, the Praetorian legion was finally stopped and their counter-attack halted. The God-Emperor was greatly wounded, almost mortally, by the Betrayer and his most trusted and strongest legionaries were annihilated in the final battle of the Warp War. The Betrayer used to be a true, virtuous Roman dedicated to the Empire and loyal to his sovereign. His Roman name was Talicus, but the name his new masters gave him was Rustorion. In the last days of the Warp War he converted to the faith of Chaos and converted his direct subordinates as well, leading a surprise attack on the Praetorian fleet and personally fighting the God-Emperor with the combined power of the dark gods infused within his now daemonic body. It took the four gods personally reaching through the Immaterium to silence the Empire's best fleet combined with elite allied fleets, but they could not undo the successful works of those who sacrificed themselves for Rome.

Plagentine and Rustorion fighting

For a long time now war has not been waged between the Roman Empire and the Chaos Gods, but this peace is a false one. For both forces have put all their effort into preparing themselves, and even raiding has recently occurred around the border which was defined after the draw of the last war. A new wave of bloodshed and warfare would ignite the galaxy once more, and soon all humans would have to face the full might of that which had been waiting in the darkness for so long.

Protectors of Mankind:
Emperor Plagentine
Optio Hired Contractor II
Supreme Lily Liliarchy from Lily
Private First Class Sandersiua from The Invaders
Private Benatyrantis from The Invaders

69 daemon fleets destroyed:
western reaches
pasargada
river gorge
the tyrants luxury pleasuredome
Cornflakes Homunculi Liberation Front
communism at its finest
Grand Assembly of Civil Communication
Region of Evil
the league of evil nations
the isle of moonlight
siskonia
New Drudgof
our regime
smiley region
bus
rebel alliance
alliance for freedom and democracy
the vermillion brotherhood
its logan maun
The Federation of Autonomous States
giga federation
the dirt bike empire
the second soviet union
the league of powers
ugandaa
the crhs nation
The new order of vengeance
horus and ra
imperio incaico
mass effect
The Utopian Union
The Dabbing Commies
war earth
univarikanmoski galaxy
federation epsilon indi system
mazakistani isles
diarrhea
the empire of the ordanian republic
yukki is evil
the chicken region
malum terram
Akachan
emptiness
my land
the great isles
the overmind of wormwoods will
revolutionary union
Lagrange 5 Orbital Station
Krupp Steel
icstem
the allied nations of the central galaxy
the region of extraordinary young adults
the northern pacific ocean
cuisine region
flavor town
The Royal Dix States
gisa
intl oceanic treaty organization
shrekia
the starbird empire
17 d nations
the galactic empire of secured sectors
communist military league
central imperial senate
cupertino
neutralia
sccs dudes
autonomous independent democratic states
glasgow city

Ave Roma!

by **Vulturret** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:51 am

Nice raid, nicer report.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:08 pm

Y'all know you don't have to bold every word you type, right?

by **Plagentine** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:17 pm

Tim-Opolis wrote:Y'all know you don't have to bold every word you type, right?

How would people know what the important part is if we didn't?

by **Hesskin Empire** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:24 pm

Plagentine wrote:
Tim-Opolis wrote:Y'all know you don't have to bold every word you type, right?

How would people know what the important part is if we didn't?

Bolden everything! Just use italics or underlines if it is even more important than the rest

by **Tim-Opolis** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 2:09 pm

Plagentine wrote:
Tim-Opolis wrote:Y'all know you don't have to bold every word you type, right?

How would people know what the important part is if we didn't?

I ended up assuming only the non-bolded was the important part and TL;DR'd the rest

by **Plagentine** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 2:23 pm

Tim-Opolis wrote:
Plagentine wrote:How would people know what the important part is if we didn't?

I ended up assuming only the non-bolded was the important part and TL;DR'd the rest

Pff, pick up the pace, I do that to all GP posts.

by **Revall** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:13 pm

This was a pretty dank report Plog.

by **RiderSyl** » Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:54 pm

Right back to top-tier. Yay. :hug:

by **Roman Reporter** » Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:17 am

(Rest in peace Stanley. He will never be forgotten.)

"Son, how could you be so stupid?" The barbarian warlord was rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. He was distressed. Distraught even. The news he just recieved was terrible and his son, Barbara, was to blame.

"I just stole some prick's horse and killed his dog. What's the problem? We do much worse every day." The mysteriously feminine named son was puzzled as to why his father was so troubled by his petty crimes.

"It's not what you did, son, that angers me so. It's who you did it to." The warlord poured himself some mulsum in an attempt to help him cope with the new stress. He knew there was only one way this could end.

"Who? That fucking nobody?" Barbara was cocky. He was confident and careless as most youths. He didn't see the big problem.

"That 'fuckin' nobody'... is Jean Dick. He is a living legend. Now they call him the Boogeyman."

"The Boogeyman?" Barbara asked. He was filled with skepticism. He almost felt like this was a joke. It had to be. It sounded ridiculous.

"Well Jean wasn't exactly the Boogeyman. He was the one who would kill the fucking Boogeyman."

"Oh." Barbara started to understand that his father was being serious. This startled him just a little.

"Jean is a man of commitment, focus, sheer will...something you know very little about. I once saw him kill 6 men in a bar with a spoon. A fucking spoon, Barbara! The last time man to cross him was very powerful. Getting revenge was an impossible task. But he did it. He killed every man who stood in his way. Not just the men, but the women and children too. He killed them all. Like animals. He then got his revenge by killing the man who crossed him. You're in deep shit, son. Good fucking luck but I'm not dying over your dumb ass." The warlord embraced his son and held him tight. "Jean will come for you...and you will do nothing because you can do nothing. Now get out of my sight."

Not too far away you could find Jean Dick. He was plotting his revenge. That prick Barbara and his gang of barbarian scum got the best of him with a surprise attack. He didn't see them coming. But they will see him coming and it won't make a difference.

"Jean," HC, Jean's close friend, said as he walked up to clearly angered man. "What's wrong?"

"They took my horse and killed my dog," Jean stated without turning to look at HC. "They will die. They will all die."

"I thought you weren't going to go on these revenge missions anymore, man. You said you were starting your political career. You even changed your name to Plagentine and everything."

"One last time...just one last time," the newly renamed man declared solemnly. "They killed Stanley and I'm going to kill them all."

Plagentine and Hired Contractor scoured the lands for three days in search of that dog-killing runt before they finally found him. They had already killed 136 barbarians to get to this degenerate life form. Much blood was shed as payback for the blood one of one little dog, but that is just the price you pay for crossing the wrong man at the wrong time. Barbara learned this lesson long ago when he was killed by Jean Dick for his unforgivable crime. Now our beloved Emperor, Jean Dick leads us under his new name. Is he any less ruthless now? Pray that you never find out.

Three Days and Three Men:
Emperor Plagentine
Optio Hired Contractor
Legionary The Knights of Julius

by **Kanglia** » Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:14 am

Dammit I just watched John Wick again last night, fucking beautiful guys.

by **Vulturret** » Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:34 am

Nice report!

by **Revall** » Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:56 am

Awesome Fest!

Kanglia wrote:Dammit I just watched John Wick again last night, fucking beautiful guys.

Yep TRE is very high on John Wick!

by **RiderSyl** » Sun Feb 11, 2018 10:37 pm

You know what must be done now Festavo

An epic Lone Ranger themed report

by **Saint Block** » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:20 am

Beautiful work. :clap:

by **The Liberal Provisional Government** » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:41 am

Why are these people not banned from NS?

The Black Riders and other raiding groups were banned from this site why are they in the exception?

This is why I locked my region and trusting no one to enter it nor am I giving them the password.

by **Reploid Productions** » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:46 am

The Liberal Provisional Government wrote:Why are these people not banned from NS?

The Black Riders and other raiding groups were banned from this site why are they in the exception?

"Raiding" is not banned, has never been banned, and will never be banned, see this post for further information as to why that is.

What TBR/DEN got hammered for was cheating, using an illegal script. Not because they were raiding.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Tue Feb 13, 2018 1:52 pm

Reploid Productions wrote:
The Liberal Provisional Government wrote:Why are these people not banned from NS?

The Black Riders and other raiding groups were banned from this site why are they in the exception?

"Raiding" is not banned, has never been banned, and will never be banned, see this post for further information as to why that is.

What TBR/DEN got hammered for was cheating, using an illegal script. Not because they were raiding.

I dunno, Reppy, clearly TRE just has a protection racket going with Moderation

by **McChimp** » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:04 pm

Jean Dick.
Give me a while to recover my sides.

The Roman Empire

Report for 2/7/18, 2/9/18, and 2/10/18

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