The Roman Empire

[Ikania]

I admire the ambition to make a song for every post but you've butchered Mr. Blue Sky to the point where it's unsingable. The syllables don't flow. I/X try harder next time <3

[The Sygian]

I admire the ambition to make a song for every post

Surely there are more creative ideas out there for reports.

[The NAtion OF Froggy]

I admire the ambition to make a song for every post

Surely there are more creative ideas out there for reports.

Yeah. Like Egyptian mythology. There's one thats never used. *sarcasm font*

Congrats romans.

[Festavo the Enigma]

I admire the ambition to make a song for every post

Surely there are more creative ideas out there for reports.

If you look at the report before last you will see that it wasn't a song report. It was a boxing report. I have personally never seen anything like it so I could classify that as a creative idea, syg.

[The Land of Lil Bunnies]

I mean, unique reports are good but let's not get so caught up in it that we lose sight of why we made one in the first place. XD

[Roavin]

Syg's just jelly that TRE and TGW reports are regularly better than TBH reports

[Gibraltarica]

Syg's just jelly that TRE and TGW reports are regularly better than TBH reports

I resent that.

[The NAtion OF Froggy]

I mean, unique reports are good but let's not get so caught up in it that we lose sight of why we made one in the first place. XD

What fun would GP be if we didnt find an inane reason to complain!!

[The Sygian]

Syg's just jelly that TRE and TGW reports are regularly better than TBH reports

We probably have different opinions as to what constitutes "better" but I guess it's whatever Replacing words in a song with "update" "raid" "trigger" etc to make a new lyric only is creative the first couple of times..

[Plagentine]

Roman poet Slimus Shadus, known for the speed of his reciting

Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize every realm you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you conquer it
Or just let it slip?

Yo
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, armor's heavy
There's vomit on his sandals already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To kill Gauls, but he keeps on forgettin'
As soldiers go down, the cohort goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's flankin' now
The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes a city
Oh, there goes the Arverni revolt
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No
He won't have it, he knows this whole province's ropes
The red banner's afloat, push them over the slope
Soldiers stacked up in rows, when they hear the whistle blow that's when it's
Time for the attacking, right after the arrowheads
He better go capture this city before they arrest him

You better crown yourself Dictator of the Romans
The omens say it's the right time to go (go)
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to show
That the republic has reached the end of its lifetime

You better crown yourself Dictator of the Romans
The omens say it's the right time to go (go)
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to show
That the republic has reached the end of its lifetime

Senate's escaping, as civil war starts breaking
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a new world order
Like an eagle, I'm soarin', but my freedom's just about to blossom
It only grows larger, as I spread the border
He blows Pompey over, these plebs are all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the globetrotter
Stony roads, Gods only know, he's grown bigger in Rome, he's their father
But the tomb is holding his own dead daughter
Cassius knows that, he goes to the others
Cause he can't stand it no mo', this misconduct
They planned long but Caesar didn't know, he throws propaganda
The murder plot is told and unfolds, there's gonna be drama, but he carries on
Da da dumb da dumb da da

You better crown yourself Dictator of the Romans
The omens say it's the right time to go (go)
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to show
That the republic has reached the end of its lifetime

You better crown yourself Dictator of the Romans
The omens say it's the right time to go (go)
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to show
That the republic has reached the end of its lifetime



The Senate went to the temple this minor update and successfully managed to get 21 stabs at the Dictator, who died quickly after, muttering something about the band U2 and brutes. This, however, has been widely considered as a bad move and looks like it'll lead to a lot of instability in the future, but hey at least that one guy isn't out to spread and strengthen the state anymore. Our experts assure us that Mark Anthony and the now legal son of Caesar, Octavian, will be perfectly content to sit peacefully and play along with the senators who brutally murdered Caesar.

People involved:
The Senate Plagentine
Toga knife Ocilat
Slippery floor Vetelo

Stabs:
Freedom_Righted_World
aanisah
Forlandia
truly_anarchy
The_Northern_Polar_Union
topoko
gavia
the_brotherhood
the_buoyant_ballers
Hellenic_Union
countries_that_happen_to_be_neighbours
the_simulation
lowlands
Cashton_High_School
triple_entente
dank_meme_team
the_union_of_the_roman_empires
European_Union_EU
the_greater_empire
the_paradise_of_dictatorships
the_amydonian_legacy

[Kanglia]

Dammit this is just too good.

[RiderSyl]

I'm laughing exactly as hard at this as I should be.

Another excellent report.

[Kylia Quilor]

Niiice.

[Escade doing an Escapade]

Roman poet Slimus Shadus, known for the speed of his reciting

[Plagentine]

Claudius just kinda taking Britain

We're taking your clay
We keep marching
Every day, We'll take it anyway
Sailing is another way to find you
To Britain today
I'll be coming for your land, okay?
Take the fleet, (take the fleet)
To the shore, (take the fleet)
You'll be gone
In a day or two
So needless to say
Your kingdom end
You'll be crumbling away
Slowly learning the Roman way
Say after me
It's better to be Roman than free
Take the fleet, (take the fleet)
To the shore, (take the fleet)
You'll be gone
In a day or two
Oh that thing you call a sea
Won't protect you from
Our army, heading for Medway
All of your Kings won't live for much longer
You're shying away
I'll be coming for you anyway
Take the fleet, (take the fleet)
To the shore, (take the fleet)
You'll be gone
In a day or two
You'll be gone
In a day

The Roman legions went out this minor update and took on 16 British settlements. While the soldiers were happily talking in their voice chat and switching, the Emperor was cursing the update Gods for consistently making his triggers too tight no matter how much he bumped them up. Nonetheless, fun was had and barbarians were slain, and many slaves were taken back to the Roman people who welcomed their triumphant brothers back into the city.

a-ha's
Emperor Plagentine
Legatus Festavo the enigma
Primus Pilus Thorn1000
Signifier Ocilat

Me's taken on:
the greater imperial realm
the future
the democratic isles of checkosta
unitys alliance
union of anglophone states
danktaly
starclan
funderburkia
circular quay
soschia sphere of influence
pacificia
centrist concord
la mesa redonda
the northern realm
warzone arkansas
the communist socialist international

[The Sygian]

Was just playing this song on my piano earlier...

Mind reading? Not cool. >_>

[Festavo the Enigma]

The term "Eclipse" is derived from the ancient Greek noun ἔκλειψις, which means "the abandonment", "the downfall", or "the darkening of a heavenly body". It is only fitting that 12 regions reached their downfall at the hands of the mighty Roman Empire on the day of the solar eclipse. Armed with their solar eclipse glasses, four warriors entered the best eclipse viewing sites disguised as eclipse chasing normies to blend in with the natives. They soon discovered that their noble attempts to witness this once in a lifetime astronomical event would be a mistake as their regions were taken one by one during the awe-inspiring event. Blinded by their protective eyewear, they were no match for the power and fury of the Legionaries. Admittedly, navigating during the eclipse was a challenge, but it was a challenge that we overcame with the superiority of Rome! Moral of the story: Don't look to the sky when your enemies attack by land. All hail the Roman Empire and praise the Emperor!

The Eclipse Chasing Con Artists:
Emperor Plagentine
Legatus Festavo The Enigma
Primus Pilus Thorn1000
Signifier Ocilat

The Highest-Rated Eclipse Viewing Sites:
okulmar
union of allied countries
valhala
orc island
west african union
asteland
phidias
magum
dlonk
the freethinking sons of liberty
allies of libertarianism
i r i s h

[Plagentine]

Emperor-Chef Plagentini getting ready to make the spiciest spaghetti ever

"Mama mia, welcome to my kitchen! My name is Plagentini Kleolini, and today we will be cooking soma very spice pasta!" the Chef says while waving his hands in the air

"First, you willa need to boil a nice a pot of native tears, which you can get from your local raider trading post. But make sure to put salta in the tears even more before they boil!"



"Now that your pot of boiling tears is ready, we get the fresh home made pasta! DISCLAIMER: SLAVE LABOR MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN USED IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING THIS PASTA."

"Once you've put a in the pasta, lower tha heat and stir every couple minutes. In the mean time we are gonna make the sauca!"

The door to the right of the Chef is opened by Talico, and violent screaming exits the door along with him until he closes it. Tali puts a bowl of minced meat on the table and smiles into the camera while twirling his long thin mustache.

"Mama mia, look at a disa fresh beautiful meat! We only use the freshest and highest quality produce here!"



"First you willa have to fry the onions and garlic for just a tiny bit before putting in tha mincda meat and stirring ita in so it's mixed well. Remember to season it well and put in soma salt as well."

While the two chefs are cooking the sauce and draining the spaghetti, a barbarian in a fur coat bursts out the door and starts running around the kitchen, screaming. There are noticeable wounds and cuts on his body, and the barbarian is scared out of his mind. But in just a minute a cohort of Roman legionaries lead by Thorn charges through the kitchen and pushed the barbarian back into the other room.

"What a passionate people dis Germanians are! Ita reminds me so much of mya home town in Napoli! Now, Signore Tali, we only need to pour in da tomato paste and da dish willa be done." Tali only lets out a deep "Si." before he stops twirling his mustache and brings a couple large cans of smashed tomatoes.

"Now we justa mix it in, let it cook for a bit, and then mix it in with di pasta!"



"Nowa look at that! Isn't that a lovely spice plate of pasta! And we have enough for 16 servings, enough to feeda half of an italian family!"

Chefs involved:
Head Chef Plagentini
Assistant Chef Thorn1000
Assistant Chef Ocilat

Servings:
Planet Nemak
eyes of death
gentlemen club
Kool Kids
japanese pan asian co prosperity sphere
autistico nuova regione
mundo alpha
the fathers of daddys
the rheinland alliance
depression
the boy band
south east islands socialist alliance
united worldwide socialist nations
the antarctic empire
glue empire
the freeland for all

[Cormactopia Prime]

This may be my favorite R/D report yet.

[Consular]

Lol. Not bad.

[Roavin]

This report

[Benevolent Thomas]

"Nowa look at that! Isn't that a lovely spice plate of pasta! And we have enough for 16 servings, enough to feeda half of an italian family!"

My grandma nods in approval while the rest of my family watches in amazement as I go in for fourths.

[Plagentine]

"Nowa look at that! Isn't that a lovely spice plate of pasta! And we have enough for 16 servings, enough to feeda half of an italian family!"

My grandma nods in approval while the rest of my family watches in amazement as I go in for fourths.

Grandma's old school, she knows what she's about.

[Mostly Benevolent Tyranny]

My only concern is the apparent lack of wine with this meal. For shame!

[Plagentine]

My only concern is the apparent lack of wine with this meal. For shame!

Hey man we have minors in here! If we introduce alcohol they cut our budget D: