The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

by **Altmoras** » Tue Mar 02, 2021 11:52 pm

Hey check out this neat flag Matthew made. Pretty talented kid.

TGW means many things; The Grey Wardens, The Good Winners, The Great Warriors, That Grea Woman, To Gargle Wasabi. Tonight TGW was all of those things, except maybe the wasabi one, I can't say for sure since I don't police anybody's personal life. What I do know for certain is that the great warriors of the Grey Wardens got many good wins with that Grea woman today.

At minor update forty lucky regions were privileged enough to become Warden Clean™ partly because nothing else happens at weekday minor, partly because we're happy to do it.

Crack Squad of Warden Cleaners™
High Constable Sir Merlin
Lieutenant Alfonzo
Warden Grea Kriopia
Warden Swifty

Comrades in Cleaning
Founderless
Lily

At major update the battlefield was teeming with raiders so we skeet shot the Blight Hawks for the span of their traditional 20 minutes of stamina, switched to ERN just in time to catch them at the end of their run, and closed the update out by joining in on booting some fascists out of their pathetic attempt at an occupation.

Grey Warden Good Winners
Commander Altmoras
Commander Haku
Commander Vincent Drake
Lieutenant Matthew
Warden Grea Kriopia
Warden Vara

Good Winners who are not Grey Wardens
The League of Conservative Nations
The Rejected Realms
10000 Islands (Lib only)
The Pacific (Lib only)

Region Liberated: The Commune

by **Quebecshire** » Wed Mar 03, 2021 12:02 am

Another fun update with Libcord, and extra fun sticking it to Genua.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Wed Mar 03, 2021 12:48 am

Great work guys! It was nice to take the night off to rest and check in to see nothing but Defender Victory!

by **Haku** » Wed Mar 03, 2021 6:17 am

We win. Again.

by **Alfonzo** » Wed Mar 03, 2021 11:52 am

You love to see it.

by **Haku** » Wed Mar 03, 2021 6:53 pm

POV: You are a Grey Warden dunking on TBH

The Grey Wardens and friends are proud to announce that we have successfully achieved victory against The black hawks once again, which at this point shouldn't be a surprise, given how much we win.

During this minor update, The black hawks attempted to tag fast, and they did. Fast for their standards, at least. However, as you'd expect from a group which is regularly unable to raid for more than 30 minutes in an update, their effort ended up being a paltry one. I’ll start off with the statistics. Within 28 minutes, The black hawks achieved 7 successful tags. In comparison, Libcord forces achieved 19 successful defenses, and the rest of the jumps added up to 18 missed tag attempts. This means that in this 28 minutes, The black hawks achieved a 16% success rate while The Grey Wardens and their friends achieved a 43% success rate. If we’re generous and factor out missed regions, The black hawk’s success rate rises to an underwhelming 27%, while TGW’s rises to a 73% success rate.

As if the statistics weren’t enough, there’s more. Remember how I said that this was a fast run for TBH? It was so fast for them that most of their team was having trouble keeping up with the pace and they’d frequently have only 1 or 2 people making it into the region, let alone make it in on time, while Libcord forces were regularly making it into regions that even some of the raiders missed.

There was also a defence against a noob WA multi raider and it's not significant enough to mention further.

Chasing Wardens

Commander Haku
Commander Sir Merlin
Commander Vincent Drake
Constable Nakarisaune
Warden Grea Kriopia
Warden Eshialand

Chasing Allies

[FRA/SPSF] W&S
[LCNAF] Quebecshire
[RRA] Chipmunker
[RRA] frattastan

Final Defence-only Wardens

Commander Benevolent Thomas

Final Defence-only Allies

[UDSAF] We The People
[ΔWP/FRΔ] Nuca
[lily] frenchy

Regions Defended

Nusantara Archipelago
Endordsa
Union Of The World
Roiltoewuar Vmimsirezeumtoyh
Connecticut
The Order Of The Black Circle
Theocracy Ftw
United Coalition
Bandonia
Grande Unione Europea
Pietopia
Me And The Boys At 3am Looking For Beans
Komme Sammen
New Ceratan Puppet Storage
United Nations Of Calebia
Walls Of New Itomorii
United Soviet Nations
True Europe
Vinnercreast
The Great Uniun

tl;dr all we do is win

by **Tim-Opolis** » Wed Mar 03, 2021 9:34 pm

That gif was so good omg

by **Alfonzo the Warden** » Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:27 pm

Good work team! Our minor turnout has been disgusting lately so let’s continue from there

by **Tim** » Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:38 pm

Alfonzo the Warden wrote:Good work team! Our minor turnout has been disgusting lately so let’s continue from there

Good point to raise Lieutenant! For a while that's felt like the "neglected" update, so it's great to see that we've been able to give it the proper attention and respect it deserves! ...even if I am usually asleep for it >.>

Have a cookie :

by **North Prarie** » Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:39 pm

TGW be like

by **Alfonzo the Warden** » Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:40 pm

Tim wrote:
Alfonzo the Warden wrote:Good work team! Our minor turnout has been disgusting lately so let’s continue from there

Good point to raise Lieutenant! For a while that's felt like the "neglected" update, so it's great to see that we've been able to give it the proper attention and respect it deserves! ...even if I am usually asleep for it >.>

Have a cookie :

by **Grea Kriopia** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 12:45 am

The Wardens take out the snack aisle

You see, it all started when Haku complained about being hungry.

The week had been a long one for the Wardens and at major all they could think about was how hungry they were. Major just hits that late-night time period when you're craving all the delicious, unhealthy things like Taco Bell or brownies–you know what I'm talking about. Tonight was no exception, and it seemed like there was nothing that could be done to feed the hungry Wardens.

The only solution was to cave into the temptation and go out for a late-night snack run in hopes of fending off the stomach growling. So, the Wardens rolled in to their local grocery store around 12 AM or so and quickly set about the snack aisle in search of their cravings. They picked past the chips and candy and munched on some ERNchiladas for a while, but those quickly ran out. Then, the still ravenous Wardens set looking for their favorite sweet snacks: Lily Charms Cereal and Blackhawkberry Muffins. Fortunately, for once, the aisle was full of them and the Wardens ate all the way through update, through 30 different regions, chasing their favorite Lily Charms and Blackhawkberry Muffin snacks.

Snacky Wardens

First Warden Tim
Commander Haku
Commander Sir Merlin
Commander Vincent Drake
Warden Ltn. Matthew
Warden Grea Kriopia
Warden Vara

Peckish Friends:

LCNAF

by **Quebecshire** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 12:47 am

Tonight was fun as hell all around, even though it was a tough challenge I'm happy with what we pulled tonight.

~~And I really need to go to bed now, goodnight NS!~~

EDIT: Also congrats to TBH on their performance tonight, was fun chasing them.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 12:58 am

Man did that run satisfy the munchies! It was great to have so many folks from the LCNAF online, and I hope everyone had a great time sampling the isles of snacks!

by **Alfonzo** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:22 am

Tim-Opolis wrote:Man did that run satisfy the munchies! It was great to have so many folks from the LCNAF online, and I hope everyone had a great time sampling the isles of snacks!

I ate a cookie.

by **Team Lennox** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:43 am

(Image)

Noice

by **Haku** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 7:37 am

I think the best part of this update was when were somehow managing to pick up wins with 5 people versus the raiders' 12 people. Good report.

by **Warden Nakari** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:01 pm

"Welcome everyone to the Free Marches Grand Races, 9:2021!"

"Ser Maran, why don't you introduce everyone to the Grand Races? All our Free Marchers will know it, but I see we've got some Orlesians in the crowd - and are those horns I see? Cheer if you're from Par Vollen!"

"I don't think they know what cheering is, Seviel. The Grand Races is the best horse event in all Thedas - one hour where horses compete to win as many short races as they can. Here in the Marches we think long horse races are a waste of time and it's more fun to bet on forty in a go depending on how long the horses can go for. We've got plenty of competitors today, the big favourites are the horses trained by the Grey Wardens, but we also have Fereldan Coursers, Nevarran Warhorses, Anderfels -- OH MAKER WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS."

"Well Ser Maran I've just been informed that the Darkspawn intend to participate in the Grand Race. It's highly irregular I know but we have some Grey Warden-trained horses in the race so it might be interesting to see them go head to head."

"I almost feel sorry for them the poor things."

"Don't."

"Well alright let's start the racing. The Darkspawn horses don't seem to really understand how a race starts, which is understandable since they are blighted and I expect they haven't really been trained for racing. They keep setting off several seconds early and then the judge just kind of sighs and declares the race open. But even though they've got that head start it looks like they aren't winning any races."

"Yes, the races keep on coming, faster than our running commentary could possibly account for, due to our extremely slow and drawn out Starkhaven accents. They're off again, the Darkspawn horses out in front - and there's a large Starkhaven dun that pushes forwards - yes, the Wardens have won again. And another - a Darkspawn horse has given up on fair play and is trying to bite one of the Antivan Blazes - but no, the Darkspawn lose again."

"It's incredible that we fear these tainted creatures considering how many races they lose. Right - they're off again. One of the blighted horses is trying to distract the other mounts, rolling on the floor like a spinning top that a child's gotten bored of - and it charges off in completely the wrong direction - but it's not fooling the Warden's horses."

"Right, a break for a performance by a bard - what are you thinking so far Ser Maren?"

"I thought you were Ser Maren?"

"Maker, where are our dialogue tags?"

Stop being so meta and get on with the report.

"And the Maker has spoken - several Chantry attendants have fallen to the ground and begun to pray frantically - but the horses are off for one last race - the Darkspawn set out first with a horrifying shriek - can they get one win? There have been twenty five races so far, and the Darkspawn horses, despite their advantage, have won only three - and the Warden horses charge forward - and the great bell rings - and it's over, 3 wins to the Darkspawn, 22 wins to the Wardens."

"That's right, even though the Darkspawn horses started earlier, the Warden horses were consistently faster. Only three wins, despite being sponsored by an archdemon."

"And that's all from us in the Free Marches. Join us next year for - "

"Just to update you Ser Maren that the Maker has now struck down the Darkspawn horses and is currently displaying a meme in the sky."

"Thank you Ser Maren. Join us next year for the Free Marches Grand Races where really anything can happen."

Horses that the Maker did not strike down
[AWP] Alhazen
[LCNAF] Quebecshire
[SPSF/TGW] Nakari
[TGW/EU] Vincent Drake
[TGW] Grea Kriopia
[TGW] Haku
[TGW] Sir Merlin
[UDSAF] We The People

Wins
Earth Industries And Affiliates
Alliance Of Sovereign Nations
Alicross Compact
The Naekhaven Region
Reino Del Equipo V
Room 319 Coalition
The Conservative Army Of The Confederacy
Shs
Boskor
Aurorum
Allied Nations
The Free Democracy Regions
United Countries Of The Northern North
The Debating Thunderdome
Great Terra
The England Tea
The True West
Ardala
The Swedish Kingdom
Kaiser Might
The United Nations Of Esnal
Capitalist German Union

by **Alfonzo** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:02 pm

Merlin is Defender Coraxion confirmed

by **Matthew the Man** » Sat Mar 06, 2021 12:08 am

There once was an organization called Libcord.

During this major, 81 regions saved and a defender victory won. Once again, the defender faction proved its supremacy over the raiders.

Yet despite this great victory, it was not enough for the defenders.

Never enough for the defenders.

Tell me, reader, have you ever experienced fear before? Not anxiety, no, I mean true primal fear.

A fear that is so primeval that you can feel it in your bones? A fear intrinsically linked to your basest instincts, yet horrifies you so much that you are unable to flee?

The defenders of Libcord felt this, this post major update. They saw the beginnings of the end. The natural reaction of the world itself to their hubris.

A sight so horrifying that eyes cannot describe, the pinnacle of madness and powerful evil warped in a fashion incomprehensible to mortal eyes.

Jaws dropped, they witnessed it, the genesis of a dark god.

That feeling of ancient terror filled them with dread and they were unable to escape, to flee, for the haunting look of what was before them chained them to the ground.

It gazed upon Libcord with what could best be described as the scorn of all evils in the world. It found those before it to be unsatisfactory. It found their lack of a 100% win rate and their empty boasts the height of hubris. Thus it became defending itself, the concept of defending becoming perverted in an amalgamation of abyssal corruption and the madness of the mind.

And as there are many stars in the sky but there is one sun, it cast out the unworthy defenders. It took their souls, their minds, their bodies, and made them into one. One mind of one being, one faction with one goal.

Victory.

As the monstrous behemoth waited for the clock to strike for minor update, the raiders looked on with the same faces of fear that their once rivals held. A name came to their lips, yet none knew from where it came from, for it ascended into a terror that even the universe must whisper in fear.

And as such, like a chorus, the mass of soon to be lost souls cried out its name…

May gameplay be wiped clean of the sin of raiding, may the world be known to another time, a better time, where all may enjoy a dream, a dream of unity, of peace. Where all may pay witness to the horrors that brought it upon, a dream of a world where all revere G̸̨̳̻͚̳̰͓̱͊̚ǒ̶̱̬̘̠̩̲͎̺̫̗͊̑̈́̓ĝ̵̯̰̼̌g̷̨̥̗͖̰͐̌̅́̈́͗͑̍̈́̽̄͂͝e̶̗̟̟̰͈͈̘̔̉͆́͒̌̓̋̐́̒̃r̶̡̛͉̭̂̓̋̈́̈́̀̈͂̇͛͘̚͝͝͝s̸͖͕͚͓̭̰̮͊͛́͗̔̾̌̿̀̾͠͝

~~Defenders Present~~ those who have fallen to GOGGERS
[LCNAF] Lyoa
[LCNAF] Quebecshire
[RRA] Sarah
[SPSF] Melix
[SPSF/TGW] Swifty
[TEA/ESPA] Andy
[TGW/EU] Vincent Drake
[TGW] Altmoras
[TGW] Deadeye Jack
[TGW] Grea Kriopia
[TGW] Haku
[TGW] Matthew
[THE SNAKES/UDSAF] The Python

Regions Defended

by **Andusre** » Sat Mar 06, 2021 12:11 am

I still haven't been fed, Libcord

by **Grea Kriopia** » Sat Mar 06, 2021 12:12 am

My everpresent nightmare continues

by **Quebecshire** » Sat Mar 06, 2021 12:16 am

Andusre wrote:I still haven't been fed, Libcord

~~Better to not be fed than to eat haggis.~~

Polls, Andy, polls!

Anyway yeah 81 dubs let's go Libcord, almost ran out of switchers again.

by **Altmoras** » Sat Mar 06, 2021 12:36 am

Grea Kriopia wrote:My everpresent nightmare continues

Yeah I wake up every morning too.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Sat Mar 06, 2021 12:50 am

My last act as First Warden, whenever that comes, will be to commit a Stalin-esque purge on the term Goggers

The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

We Continue To Win

Lily Charms and Blackhawkberry Muffins

Who is online