The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

[Lord Dominator]

When I find someone doing nothing I'll be sure to let them know such

Isn't that game play in a nutshell? Doing nothing, and bragging about it?

On the grand scale of the universe, yes.

[Roavin]

45 > 0, though.

[Lord Dominator]

45 > 0, though.

Our Friday major raid is superior to any number of tags.

[Haku]

That was a lot of fun. Always glad to have VCs with our friends in Lily in good sportsmanship. It's also great that we've had a good mixture of people writing reports lately.

[Treadwellia]

Who took my baby away from me and replaced them with this diabolical monster?

I'M ALWAYS A DIABOLICAL MONSTER to anybody that deserves it which is usually anybody that doesnt feed me and also can anybody feed me dad disappeared again and im not with the nice fat man right now and im hungry and if you dont feed me i raid you

The "nice fat man?"

Mmph mmph?

[Haku]

That was fun, I haven't had to actually try while chasing for a good long time.

It's good to see Lily raising the standards of raiding performance, because we all know TBH isn't going to do it, or do anything for that matter.

When I get unlocked, I'm gonna do a single tag every day for u

Does this mean a single tagged region or a single tag run every day? If it's the former, it really isn't too different from what's happening nowadays.

[Lord Dominator]

When I get unlocked, I'm gonna do a single tag every day for u

Does this mean a single tagged region or a single tag run every day? If it's the former, it really isn't too different from what's happening nowadays.

A single tagged region per update at a random point within update for maximum annoyance.

[Benevolent Thomas]

Does this mean a single tagged region or a single tag run every day? If it's the former, it really isn't too different from what's happening nowadays.

A single tagged region per update at a random point within update for maximum annoyance.

What you call "maximum annoyance" many of us refer to as "the good old days".

[Miporin]

A single tagged region per update at a random point within update for maximum annoyance.

What you call "maximum annoyance" many of us refer to as "the good old days".

For actual moralists, sure. I'd hazard a guess and say that those are a minority at this point, though.

[Benevolent Thomas]

What you call "maximum annoyance" many of us refer to as "the good old days".

For actual moralists, sure. I'd hazard a guess and say that those are a minority at this point, though.

I wasn't even making a moralist argument, to be honest. I would say that there was a lot more tension back when I first started in gameplay back in 2012. This was certainly not a peak of activity in the storied history of NSGP, but there was generally about one to a few operations each major update. Once update began, raiders had a full hour to make their move and defenders had to stay vigilant that entire hour as the entire engagement hinged on a single move. That brought a lot more pressure on each side to succeed. It made the stakes higher on an update-to-update basis that so rarely graces us now. Each movement had significance, because we did not know what type of operation we were defending. Would it be just a drive-by or was this the whole enchilada? A missed jump could even lead to an epic pile-off that sometimes climbed into the hundreds. Because so few regions were targeted each update, regions had the ability to grow and become founderless and even excel while founderless before being targeted. This meant that there were more valuable targets and new ones were being made constantly. Nowadays even foundered regions are targeted in their infancy, repeatedly, killing any potential for growth. Founderless regions with native delegates are mostly a thing of the past and battles are being waged over regions that never were.

I know those days will never return. I also freely admit that I do enjoy the thrill of the fast-paced tag-raid chasing every night. It gives an engaging activity to those who are willing to log in every 12 hours to continue the generations-long struggle between good and evil. The downside of it is that most of our movements are hardly meaningful and our playful cat-and-mouse game has lead to a diminishing return in recruits, retention, battleground regions, and most importantly, political intrigue.
~~~
and onto the topic at hand, how I imagine raiders discussing strategies to get the best of Vincent Drake:

[Warden Roavin]

HUNTER PRIME: THE UNFUCKENING

Good morning, gameplay! I come to you once again as the Order of the Grey Wardens' official ambassador to the NationStates gameplay forum. For some reason leadership is still buying the sales pitch about my great PR acumen and finely tuned sensibilities (nobody tell them about Curious Observations please). I have three great things to tell you about!

MATTHEW UNFUCKING HIS OWN FUCKING

Fate has a sense of humor. Last major update, a WA-multi was found to be staging in Arbor, a region that was last tagged by Hartfelden's Matthew. Hartfelden had since decided to yeet its darkspawnish ways to become a fully-fledged Defender region, so in a glorious twist of irony, their shining star chaser Matthew was online last night and got to help detag the very region he once tagged.

Wardens:
Warden-Pogo-Chamberlain Vincent Drake
Warden-Wizard-Commander Sir Merlin

Friends:
[TITO] twobagger
[SPSF] Heliseum
[HRF] Matthew

Unfucks:
arbor
the_kufkins

EPIC NUMBER OF UNFUCKERS

Sleepy weekday minor update? Au contraire! With a double digit number of defenders online, Libcord was bumpin' today. Even though there wasn't much to do, we had a fun update. Saddled between a liberation and a refound defense, we had deep philosophical conversations about muppets, gender reveals, and dwarves, while Benevolent Thomas lit up the voice chat in his usual charismatic way. Our new Warden-Recruit Knightcore not only provided today's report theme, but got their darkspawn vial too, impressing us by how quickly they picked up the basics. Also, Fratt will do a voice reveal at 4 million subs.

Wardens:
First WeebWarden Haku
Warden-Wizard Sir Merlin
Warden-Lewdtenant Roavin
Warden-Charismatic-Stallion Benevolent Thomas
Warden-Gym-Leader Pyrohy
Warden-Impressive-Newbie Knightcore

Friends:
[AWP] Numero
[HRF] Matthew
[RRA] frattastan
[SPSF] Heliseum
[SPSF] Nakari
[SPSF] TheBig0tt0
+ TITO
+ People's Front

Unfucks:
south_anaria
the_islands_of_the_northwest_pacific

UNFUCKING THE HAWKS' FLAG SITUATION

Surprising exactly no-one, we won the Crowd Favorite in the Black Hawks' flag contest, which means they will go on a tag raid with our entry. In case you haven't seen it before:

We here at the Order of the Grey Wardens whole-heartedly congratulate The Black Hawks for the opportunity to tag the regions they raid with a quality flag. You know, one that does not look like the background to the anti-piracy warning on 90s VHS tapes made for school classes.

Extrapolating from recent activity, the raid should occur roughly in February 2021. We look forward to chasing them.

[Planarians]

YOU GUYS UNFUCKED MY FUCKING WITH THE FUCKER

>:( >:( >:( >:(

Treat him well :)

[We Are Not the NIPRCC]

the background to the anti-piracy warning on 90s VHS tapes made for school classes.

I don't know if I found what you were referring to, but what I found is the most ridiculous logo for an American intelligence/law enforcement agency I have ever seen.

[The United Vex Imperium]

YOU GUYS UNFUCKED MY FUCKING WITH THE FUCKER



Treat him well

I am an evil defender now. Die raida

MATTHEW UNFUCKING HIS OWN FUCKING

this is going in my forum sig

[Sweeze]

Extrapolating from recent activity, the raid should occur roughly in February 2021. We look forward to chasing them.

Okay but like, do you really look forward to doing that

[Haku]

Extrapolating from recent activity, the raid should occur roughly in February 2021. We look forward to chasing them.

Okay but like, do you really look forward to doing that

We will naturally look forward to chasing Lily more.

[Warden Roavin]

Good morning, gameplay! You're surely but slowly getting used to it, but to state the obvious, I'm the Order of the Grey Wardens' official ambassador to the NationStates gameplay forum. Why? No idea. The Commanders even promoted me! I guess the sarcasm didn't translate when I told them about my supposed great PR acumen and finely tuned sensibilities, but hey, I'm running with it.

ANYWAY, today I present to you:

THE HORSEMEN OF THE METALOCAPYSE

Not linking the video because, uh, it has some scenes. Check out Dethklok — "Thunderhorse" on your music streaming service of choice, though.

Well first, obviously I have to mention N-Day. Because, uh, we kinda won it. Real hard. We teamed up with the nice folks in Hell and our good friends in Lily with the goal of wrecking whatever faction the Black Hawks ended up joining. Well, that was taken care of within a few hours (because, ya know, the Hawks). So instead, we all decided to play a game of Master of Puppets, added hundreds of puppets each to the faction, and decided to simply break all the records.

Yes, I made this using imgflip, the Fastest Meme Generator on the Planet. Easily add text to images or memes! This is not a sponsored shitpost.

AND BREAK ALL THE RECORDS WE DID! Some more detailed information is available in this lovely dispatch (SLAP UPVOTE NOW! ). But to summarize in the usual Wardenesque gloaty fashion, 5 Wardens and friends set the record for largest faction (3730 nations), highest number of strikes (332564), highest score ever (332564), and highest placement ever with 0 radiation (first, baby, because obviously). We didn't break the record for highest radiation ever, but we really deserve credit for that too because, uh, well, we kinda buried UPPERCUTS in nukes to help them break that record.

The only annoying thing? NationStates staff still hasn't written a news post about our flawless victory. Personally, I haven't given up hope that it's simply taking so long because they're writing an entire Onderwall about it.

Wardens:
First Warden Haku
Chamberlain Vincent Drake
Warden-Commander Sir Merlin
Warden-Commander Altmoras
Warden-Lieutenant Roavin

Friends(hip is magic):
Chingis
Sakana
Flanderlion
Stalker

Factions no longer Among the Living:
....
...honestly, too many to count.
We kinda wrecked the place.
Imagine if we were raiders.
RIP natives.
I guess natives should be satisfied with that dead Tornado of Souls that is TBH.

LAME METALCORE WOLF SNOOTS BOOPED

LWU's top Wolfmensch Armaros is kinda single-handedly keeping raiding as a faction alive right now. Along with a few assorted cubs, he decided to raid Heavy Metal Heaven on Sunday's minor update. The puppet name used was Hail to the King, a reference to an Avenged Sevenfold song. We could have liberated it at the next major update, but, uh, ...

Be nice to Haku, he's still new at this!

But then, our very own Merlin woke up, saw the raid, and took issue with it. Not only because it's a raid (duh), but also because the point nation represents "nothing more than boring nu-metal and your cookie cutter hairmetal" (his exact words). Merlin is from Finland, therefore he's inherently an expert in all things Heavy Metal and I can't help but agree with his assessment. Avenged Sevenfold? That metalcore-turned-boring-dad-rock-band? Really?

TGW's old man Roavin took over leading the liberation on Monday minor (sleepy weekday minor? Au contraire!), and sent 16 defenders into the region on a very short and precise trigger. Snoots summarily booped.

how cute owo~~~

Wardens:
First Warden Haku
Warden-Commander Sir Merlin
Warden-Lieutenant House of Cards
Warden-Lieutenant Roavin
Warden(-Lieutenant?) Pyrohy
Warden Indo-Malaysia
Warden Byroms

Friends:
[RRA] Bormiar
[RRA] frattastan
[RRA] Sarah
[SPSF] Eritis
[SPSF] Heliseum
[SPSF] Nakari
[HRF] Matthew
10000 Islands Treaty Organization (TITO)

Liberated:
Heavy Metal Heaven \m/

AND SO MUCH MORE CLASHING OF THE STEEL

At the request of our glorious overlord and First Warden Haku, I've included a brief rundown of several past updates:

• Sep 24 Major: 1 defense; 1 Warden
• Sep 24 Minor: 1 liberation and 2 defenses; 4 Wardens
• Sep 25 Major: 5 defenses; 4 Wardens
• Sep 25 Minor: 20 detags; 2 Wardens
• Sep 26 Major: 2 defenses; 1 Warden
• Sep 26 Minor: 3 defenses; 3 Wardens
• Sep 30 Major: 3 defenses; 2 Wardens

Other updates were dead and therefore don't show up in the reports. There was always at least one Warden online and standing ready on the Battlefield, and several Wardens available to be called if something went down.

A NOTE TO HAWKLINGS

.... so, let me get this straight. On the September 30 Major update, three Hawks went tagging for a total of 11 minutes. I'm told it was a training run, but ... y'all always say that. All the time. Why in Ronny James Dio's name would you ever not use a full update (60 minutes) for training when you have people that need training?!? If I could only do 11 minutes of fun and entertainment, I don't think I'd be married.

You know how in the Red Phone logs Souls complained about dead regions recruiting and therefore wasting potential active players? Well....

Come on, Hawklings. Stand up and Shout. Demand better training. Or come to a place that gives it. I may have some ideas for places that do it much, much better

[The United Vex Imperium]

I'll have you know that Dadrock is of great musical taste. Congrats on TGW for shattering that record. Now all they gotta do is keep on shattering it again and again.

[Lord Dominator]

I'm vaguely confused on how asking a first-time raider that they need to show up for an hour around midnight (or early morning) with a double digit number of puppets would be considered a good idea.

But hey, I'm not a defender, so what do I know

[Altmoras]

Seriously though, where's the newspost.

[Lord Dominator]

Seriously though, where's the newspost.

Dunno, you defenders got the admins in the custody split, you'd think they'd be a bit more efficient about it when defenders win

[Roavin]

I'm vaguely confused on how asking a first-time raider that they need to show up for an hour around midnight (or early morning) with a double digit number of puppets would be considered a good idea.

... yes? Of course it's a good idea, and I'm legitimately dumbfounded that you seem to seriously think it's not a good idea. Have you trained people before?

Seriously though, where's the newspost.

Dunno, you defenders got the admins in the custody split, you'd think they'd be a bit more efficient about it when defenders win

wat

[Lord Dominator]

I'm vaguely confused on how asking a first-time raider that they need to show up for an hour around midnight (or early morning) with a double digit number of puppets would be considered a good idea.

... yes? Of course it's a good idea, and I'm legitimately dumbfounded that you seem to seriously think it's not a good idea. Have you trained people before?

Because there's such a thing as starting them off slow, particularly when our main goal of existence isn't strictly tagging?

Dunno, you defenders got the admins in the custody split, you'd think they'd be a bit more efficient about it when defenders win

wat

Of the Admins, the 2 that I'm aware of with prior R/D experience were defenders, which is incidentslly also 40% of Game Admins (50%, if [v]'s lack of nation is disqualifying) Hence, a joke about the admins being defender

[Armaros]

LAME METALCORE WOLF SNOOTS BOOPED

LWU's top Wolfmensch Armaros is kinda single-handedly keeping raiding as a faction alive right now. Along with a few assorted cubs, he decided to raid Heavy Metal Heaven on Sunday's minor update. The puppet name used was Hail to the King, a reference to an Avenged Sevenfold song. We could have liberated it at the next major update, but, uh, ...

(Image)
Be nice to Haku, he's still new at this!

But then, our very own Merlin woke up, saw the raid, and took issue with it. Not only because it's a raid (duh), but also because the point nation represents "nothing more than boring nu-metal and your cookie cutter hairmetal" (his exact words). Merlin is from Finland, therefore he's inherently an expert in all things Heavy Metal and I can't help but agree with his assessment. Avenged Sevenfold? That metalcore-turned-boring-dad-rock-band? Really?

I was listening to it while making the puppet and decided to see how many people would be pissed off because it wasn’t the right metal. Seems I got a little more then I asked for

[/quote]TGW's old man Roavin took over leading the liberation on Monday minor (sleepy weekday minor? Au contraire!), and sent 16 defenders into the region on a very short and precise trigger. Snoots summarily booped.[/quote]
I think there were 17 endo’s on your point (the galactic empire one) when you liberated, and I kicked you, so that would make 19 in total. And only 6 seconds, I can’t do anything about that

Still, congratulations on the liberation. Next time better for me, I guess.

[Haku]

This past week was a lot of fun! Especially N Day.