The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

by **Numero Capitan** » Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:55 am

"People say nothing is impossible but TBH do nothing every day" A A Milne

by **Lord Dominator** » Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:45 pm

Numero Capitan wrote:"People say nothing is impossible but TBH do nothing every day" A A Milne

Which is still more than you seem to do

by **Altmoras** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 1:27 am

Lord Dominator wrote:
Numero Capitan wrote:"People say nothing is impossible but TBH do nothing every day" A A Milne

Which is still more than you seem to do

You'd better hope that's the case

by **Miporin** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 5:38 am

Numero Capitan wrote:"People say nothing is impossible but TBH do nothing every day" A A Milne

How's the armchair holding up? :blush:

by **Lord Dominator** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:07 am

Altmoras wrote:
Lord Dominator wrote:Which is still more than you seem to do

You'd better hope that's the case

Hey, if I'm wrong and they're actually defending, good for them.

Otherwise it's just looking a lot like the pot attempting to call the kettle black.

by **Numero Capitan** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:08 am

Its flattering how desperate you all are to consign me to retirement

by **Lord Dominator** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:22 am

Numero Capitan wrote:Its flattering how desperate you all are to consign me to retirement

Idk who you are really, you just seem to be a vaguely retired defender shitposting in Gameplay

shrugs

by **Pyrohy** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 11:42 am

It's not every day that you come home with a new best friend; someone to love, hang out with, pat between the ears and let them know how much you appreciate them. As soon as the both of you walk through the door, you know that every day is gonna be the best day of your life. You'll be able to come home to all the attention you could ever want, your loneliness will be a thing of the past, and you can rest easy know that no matter what happens they'll always be there for you. They'll hold you tight, let you rest your weary eyes and nap till you're full of energy and ready to play.

As the arms of time tick on, however, there might come a time when your good boy or good girl can be a little obstinate. Rough, gruff, rude, or even outright mean! Who could've thought that your best friend could turn out to be such a challenge! You might think to yourself, "What in the WORLD is happening! Who took my baby away from me and replaced them with this diabolical monster? There's no feasible way toilet paper could've gotten on top the fridge, and how did they even get those weird stains on the wall next to my bed?!"

Have no fear, reader! ~~Warden Lt.~~ ~~Gym Leader~~ ~~Who are you?~~ Professional Goodboy Trainer Pyro has your back! With these three easy steps, I'll take your hand and lead you through the hoops of teaching your best friend how to be the best they can be! Hike up those slacks and follow me!

Step 1: Good Eats!

By-far, the worst thing your could put your new best friend through is irregular feeding. Dogs and cats love to eat just like we do, but feeding them too much or too little whenever you feel like they're hungry will have some dire repercussions and runs the risk of turning them into moody, ambivalent little beasts. No one wants to come home to a loved one so lethargic they won't get up to greet you or so chubby that it's a struggle for them to move. Giving your loved one appropriate portion-sizes at regularly timed intervals will help regulate their dietary inclinations, prevent dysfunction, and promote healthy living for both you AND you pet for years to come! They don't need breakfast, lunch, and dinner like you do, so making sure they get their chow twice a day is plenty for them. The best way to establish this behavior is to feed your pet after you wake up in the morning and after you get home from work in the evening, I.e, 6am and 6pm, 12am and 12pm, etc. Feeding them when they're happiest only helps them put it down faster! How much you feed your pet depends on their build and weight.

This one gets one cup of dry kibble, and this one gets a half cup. Easy pea-sy!

Step 2: Rest easy, little buddy!

Sleep is as quintessential for your pet as it is for you. Depending on your age, doctors recommend six to eight full hours of beauty rest so that you can feel well-rested and rejuvenated, rising and setting with the sun, no electronics two-three hours before bed, and no blue back-lights after dusk because of the strain they put on your eyes. A noon and midnight feeding schedule is do-able, but it's really not great for your circadian rhythm! Your best friend is a living, breathing being just as much as you are, and there's no doubt in my mind that they'd really appreciate it if you lived a more natural lifestyle and follow your doctor's recommendations. Six in the morning really isn't that early when you skip major and go to bed at nine at night. You don't have to let your dog or cat in the bed with you, but some of them just love to snuggle up with you and get their good nights' rest at your side. If you're consistent enough, having a natural alarm in bed with you will help reduce morning anxieties and get you up at a set time every day without an obnoxious siren going off next to your head.

Step 3: Annihilating the Competition on the Battlefield!

The most important part of training your pet, training! The only way you and your best friend can get to a point of mutual love and respect is hard work and dedication. If Defender Z ever taught me anything, it's that "you'll never de-tag as many regions as me, but you sure can try." Get out there, and get your hands dirty. Play fun games with your pet, like "chase the tail" and "destroy the laser" to really dig in and build those bonds of trust and friendship. Teach them that bringing the ball back to you means that they can keep playing as long as they want. Using short, repetitive command words and hand motions like "Sit! Down! Roll! High-Five! Fetch! GOGOGO! and Kisses!" will really help them develop as sort of muscle-memory response to your requests. Taking it one step at a time, like teaching sit before stay, or jump before go, will have a massive impact on the effectiveness of your training. The final, most important part of training your pet is making sure your'e both having fun doing it. Yes, treats do help sometimes, but building bonds instead of bribery are infinitely more valuable.

This is what it feels like to chase lily after two years of doing nothing. Their speed is insane!

Major 2019-09-15
Champion Haku
Elite Four Vincent Drake
Ace Trainer twobagger

Cat-girls Fed: 23
S Gang Gaming Clan
Jaykay
Dictatorial Paradise
Foresor
The Liberal Socialist Union
Matheo
The Imperial Nations
Gamers United Under Ricardo
Kookoo
Taconia
Czarist Russia
Most Popular Girls In School
League
The Free And Eco Scientists
The Lower Intestine Of Mickey Mouse
The Curtain Of Steel
Portuguese Dominion
Brasil Alternativo
New Drudgof
Idol Land
Booty The Re Up
Advanced Regional Collective
Divonya

Minor 2019-09-15

Swimmer Atlantica
Elite Four Deadeye Jack
Champion Haku
Gym Leader Pyrohy
Elite Four Sir Merlin
Ace Trainer frattastan
contest idol tupelope
+TITO

Cat-girls Fed: 6 (Merlin and Pyro only, do not steal >:(

)
Reximo
The Greater United Federations
The Solar Archipelago
Meridia
National Bolshevik Union
Chickenian Life

Lonely Wolf Snoots Booped: 1
Greater Mania Region
And some other doggos we pet along the way:
Valle De Arena
The Continental Funiverse

It took me three years to finally write a report. Make sure to let warden command know they're slacking!

by **Armaros** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 11:58 am

As the “Lonely Wolf snoot booped”, I love this report. The doggos are way too cute to be mad about.

Seriously though, I nearly got you there (go thank the RRA member who didn’t move and had me keep on refreshing his nation for a long time) >_>

Fun update, great report! We should do these things more often

by **Evil Cub** » Sun Sep 15, 2019 12:32 pm

Pyrohy wrote:Who took my baby away from me and replaced them with this diabolical monster?

I'M ALWAYS A DIABOLICAL MONSTER to anybody that deserves it which is usually anybody that doesnt feed me and also can anybody feed me dad disappeared again and im not with the nice fat man right now and im hungry and if you dont feed me i raid you

by **Numero Capitan** » Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:39 am

Nice work, but did you have to miss out our 20 man liberation :*(

LD: the shitpost AA Milne quote just worked better than the self-deprecating AA Milne joke, I'll reign it in

by **Lord Dominator** » Mon Sep 16, 2019 12:39 pm

Numero Capitan wrote:LD: the shitpost AA Milne quote just worked better than the self-deprecating AA Milne joke, I'll reign it in

I'm uncultured swine with no idea who that is

by **Pyrohy** » Wed Sep 18, 2019 9:20 pm

Armaros wrote:As the “Lonely Wolf snoot booped”, I love this report. The doggos are way too cute to be mad about.

Seriously though, I nearly got you there (go thank the RRA member who didn’t move and had me keep on refreshing his nation for a long time) >_>

Fun update, great report! We should do these things more often

Thank you thank you! Super tightly-held trade secret here, don't tell! Those two doggos.jpg in the middle are mine and I'm very proud of how good they are.

I was really curious when I only saw HC banned, I thought the activity feed was just being its normal weird.

just another sneaky tactic to mess with raid leads, I guess.

Keep raiding so I have more reasons to write!

Evil Cub wrote:I'M ALWAYS A DIABOLICAL MONSTER to anybody that deserves it which is usually anybody that doesnt feed me and also can anybody feed me dad disappeared again and im not with the nice fat man right now and im hungry and if you dont feed me i raid you

But if we feed both you and Vinny we'll end up flat broke!

by **Reploid Productions** » Wed Sep 18, 2019 9:54 pm

Pyrohy wrote:But if we feed both you and Vinny we'll end up flat broke!

Obvious solution: Feed Vinny to Cub! :lol2:

by **Armaros** » Wed Sep 18, 2019 10:29 pm

Pyrohy wrote:
Armaros wrote:As the “Lonely Wolf snoot booped”, I love this report. The doggos are way too cute to be mad about.

Seriously though, I nearly got you there (go thank the RRA member who didn’t move and had me keep on refreshing his nation for a long time) >_>

Fun update, great report! We should do these things more often

Thank you thank you! Super tightly-held trade secret here, don't tell! Those two doggos.jpg in the middle are mine and I'm very proud of how good they are.

They’re adorable.

I was really curious when I only saw HC banned, I thought the activity feed was just being its normal weird. just another sneaky tactic to mess with raid leads, I guess.

Please, for my sanity’s sake, don’t actually make that a tactic

Keep raiding so I have more reasons to write!

I’ll see what I can do.

Evil Cub wrote:I'M ALWAYS A DIABOLICAL MONSTER to anybody that deserves it which is usually anybody that doesnt feed me and also can anybody feed me dad disappeared again and im not with the nice fat man right now and im hungry and if you dont feed me i raid you

But if we feed both you and Vinny we'll end up flat broke![/quote]
I approve of Reppy’s solution here. Sorry Vinny

by **Escade** » Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:42 pm

Awww.... Pyro that was a cute report!

by **Lord Dominator** » Fri Sep 20, 2019 4:27 pm

Reploid Productions wrote:
Pyrohy wrote:But if we feed both you and Vinny we'll end up flat broke!

Obvious solution: Feed Vinny to Cub!

Sounds good to me

by **Vincent Drake** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 1:40 am

Ok so like,

It's Saturday night, I've Done things and been Places, Nationstates is literally the last thing on my mind

Like really I finally caught a freakin' SHINY MEWTWO LIKE OMG LOOK AT THIS THING

SO BEAUTIFUL RIGHT!?

But then Haku is blowing up my phone

Of course I haven't read a word of this ping cause I'm still admiring my SHINY MEWTWO that took all effing week to get...also 2nd dinner...a nutritious balance of fruit, meats, and an entire plate of pasta

Imagine that is me but like 20 years older, well that and my eyes slant the long way not the tall way

So with a minute to go before update, I'm like fine I'll do it. Even Roavin woke up for this and that's saying something. Usually, you can't get Roavin to wake up even if you used the Pokeflute as a club instead of an instrument.

I couldn't find a satisfactory image of a sleeping Snorlax, so here's a SHINY MEWTWO

This is where we usually go into depth about charging into battle and slaying the darkspawnsies and where we tell you about our glorious successes but come on now, it's 3 AM on a Saturday night and I've Done things and been Places. I also have a SHINY MEWTWO

When the target is Lily, it isn't a glorious charge into battle, it's more like

You have like 3s to endo me before I leave without you

However, this time, we were met on the field by an unusual group of people - Guinness World Record observers! What were they doing here? Were they expecting us to do something big? On my, time to gear up, it's A game time!

Despite only having literally a minute to get ready and without knowing what we were even doing, I managed to update in the first target with one hand on the keys and one hand on my fork. That's how you major league game! We proceded to give chase in a very chaotic fashion, but with some good wins. However, the Guiness people were ever looming and didn't look impressed. So, we had to change things up. We switched to alternating teams and finally got the observers to pay the attentions. After many quick switches, many hits, many misses, many GCR breaks that no one knows the timing of anymore cause RIP old update order, Lily's JP updated and it was all over. When the dust settled, we had ourselves 45 glorious wins, with a standing ovation from Guinness (but they didn't bring bottles of Guinness for us, what useless people).

I like trophies.

Also a shoutout to Matthew from Hartfelden, who learned on the job and managed to update in double digits. Chasing is hard, chasing Lily is harder, doing it all for the first time can be daunting. He handled it like a champ!

Why is there a picture of an organ? Come update and find out!

If you were wondering why this post is so long, I'm under orders from our new First Warden:

The man wants like half a page, so he gets like half a page

by **Altmoras** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 1:50 am

That was fun, I haven't had to actually try while chasing for a good long time.

It's good to see Lily raising the standards of raiding performance, because we all know TBH isn't going to do it, or do anything for that matter.

by **Miporin** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 7:47 am

Altmoras wrote:That was fun, I haven't had to actually try while chasing for a good long time.

It's good to see Lily raising the standards of raiding performance, because we all know TBH isn't going to do it, or do anything for that matter.

When I get unlocked, I'm gonna do a single tag every day for u :blush:

by **The Church of Satan** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 8:32 am

I know I'm late in saying this but the highlight of this entire thread is "Lonely Wolf snoots booped".

by **Lord Dominator** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:17 am

Altmoras wrote:That was fun, I haven't had to actually try while chasing for a good long time.

It's good to see Lily raising the standards of raiding performance, because we all know TBH isn't going to do it, or do anything for that matter.

Right, because tagging is the peak of raid performance :roll:

Miporin wrote:
Altmoras wrote:That was fun, I haven't had to actually try while chasing for a good long time.

It's good to see Lily raising the standards of raiding performance, because we all know TBH isn't going to do it, or do anything for that matter.

When I get unlocked, I'm gonna do a single tag every day for u

Don't u dare

by **Roavin** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 9:49 am

Lord Dominator wrote:
Altmoras wrote:That was fun, I haven't had to actually try while chasing for a good long time.

It's good to see Lily raising the standards of raiding performance, because we all know TBH isn't going to do it, or do anything for that matter.

Right, because tagging is the peak of raid performance

As opposed to doing nothing? Yes.

by **Lord Dominator** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 10:14 am

Roavin wrote:
Lord Dominator wrote:Right, because tagging is the peak of raid performance

As opposed to doing nothing? Yes.

When I find someone doing nothing I'll be sure to let them know such

by **WayNeacTia** » Sun Sep 22, 2019 10:25 am

Lord Dominator wrote:
Roavin wrote:
As opposed to doing nothing? Yes.

When I find someone doing nothing I'll be sure to let them know such

Isn't that game play in a nutshell? Doing nothing, and bragging about it?

The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

The Grey Wardens | Teaching your best friend how to sit.

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