Hell's Bells S.E.I: Back in Black (Gates of Hell OPEN)

by **The Stalker** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:41 pm

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

Welcome one and all to Hell's Bells, the place for all your demonic news, and Hellion updates!

February 17th, 2015
Issue I. In the Land of the Dead

February 26th, 2015
Issue II. Lust For Life

March 17th, 2015
Issue III. Drink with the Devil

April 1st, 2015
Issue IV. Have ya heard?

April 21st, 2015
Issue V. Sympathy For The Devil

May 31st, 2015
Issue VI. For Whom the Bell Tolls

June 28th, 2015
Issue VII. Ghost Riders in the Sky

July 31st, 2015
Issue VIII: Devils Haircut

August 20th, 2015
Issue IX: He's Evil

September 25th, 2015
Issue X: A King Dust Demon

October 25th, 2015
Issue XI: No room in Hell

November 26th, 2015
Issue XII. Satan Is My Motor

December 24th, 2015
Issue XIII. Christmas Time in Hell

January 28th, 2016
Issue XIV. Comfort Eagle

March 22nd, 2016
Issue XV. Ace of Spades

April 26th, 2016
Issue XVI. Red Right Hand

May 31st, 2016
Issue XVII. Beat The Devil's Tattoo

July 19th, 2016
Issue XVIII. Satan Lend Me A Dollar

August 30th, 2016
Issue XIX. The Seventh Son

December 3rd, 2016
Issue XX. When You’re Evil

December 23rd, 2016
Issue XXI. Blackstar

January 16th, 2017
Issue XXII. Apeman

February 14th, 2017
Issue XXIII. I Can't Decide

March 30th, 2017
Issue XXIV. Thunder On The Mountain

May 28th, 2017
Issue XXV. I'm Not Like Everybody Else

August 8th, 2017
Issue XXVI. Heathens

November 13th, 2017
Issue XXVII. Six Feet for the Devil

December 26th, 2017
Issue XXVIII. You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

March 25th, 2018
Issue XXIX. Feel It Still

May 28th, 2018
Issue XXX. Lazarus

May 16th, 2023
Special Edition I. Back in Black (Gates of Hell OPEN)

Through me you go into a city of weeping,
Through me you go into eternal pain,
Through me you go amongst the lost people.
Justice inspired my exalted Creator,
I am a creature of the Holiest Power,
Of Wisdom in the Highest and of Primal Love.
Before me things create were none,
Save things Eternal,
And eternally I shall endure.
Ye who enter, abandon all hope...

by **The Stalker** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:43 pm

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

February 17th, 2015
Issue I. In the Land of the Dead

Index
I. Feature Region: Underworld
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Theological Quandaries about Hell from a Christian Perspective
V. Hell's TV Guide
VI. Artwork of the Damned

• • • • • • •

Feature Region: Underworld
Article by, The Stalker

Woe to you, wicked spirits! Never hope to see heaven. I come to carry you to the other shore,
into eternal darkness, into fire and ice.
~Dante's inferno

Underworld is the official outpost of The Kingdom of Hell. Existing as the entrance to the fiery pits of Hell. Where lost souls gather in hopes they might gain their passage to Hell. While the majority of NS regions seek to mass recruit nations, Hell has put up a velvet rope only allowing a chosen few entrance. The excessive and elaborate requirements to join Hell are outlined here in The Trials to join Hell factbook. From Underworld residents may post on Hell's regional message board and get to know the region as they try to earn their way. Often spending months in Underworld before even being considered into Hell. While most are driven to madness and howl at their inability to cross the river Styx, a select minority prove their worth and are ferried across Hell's borders. Recently Hell has welcomed three new demonic souls to the pits. The new comers, some of whom waited over two months to join, express their pleasure at finally being accepted into the ranks of Hell, but remark how they thought it was odd to have to sign over ownership of their soul for an online game.

Ye who enter, abandon all hope...

• • • • • • •

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

Atheist Empire Occupation
It has been over two weeks since the start of The Black Rider's occupation of Atheist Empire, the invader delegate floating between 90 and 100 endorsements the situation does look rather grim. A collection of refugees have taken up shelter in The Atheist Empire to weather the storm. With little chance of a liberation the region's fate is left unclear, however is it confirmed the King of Hell has put a voodoo curse on all those involved and vowed to eat their souls.

Gay reaches 200 nations!
Congratulation to the region of Gay for their recent population spike, having reached the 200 nations marker and still growing! An impressive accomplishment for the dedicated community.

The First Age: The War of the Silmarils RPG
Interested in Lord of the Rings RPG? Be sure to check out this one out! Run by The Starlight. Forum Thread

The Time Vortex Elects a new Delegate
The Doctor Who fandom region The Time Vortex welcomes the return of Brentonania to the WA Delegate seat, with support from the former Delegate The Imperial Spatial Hispanic Federation.

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

• • • • • • •

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,
I have a new girlfriend. Actually, she's my first girlfriend. She is much more experienced than I am. The other day, she was talking about 'doing it doggie style.' What does that mean?

Anxious

Anxious,
Kids these days. Fortunately for you, Fredd is hip to the modern lingo. 'Doggie style' is slang for 'buy me a Saint Bernard.'

Fredd
P.S. Send me her phone number.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most Exalted Fredd,
I'm developing a new explosive to help with my bid for world conquest. My idiot assistant purchased white fuming nitric acid instead of red fuming nitric acid for the final nitration step. Will the white fuming nitric acid work?

Sincerely,
The Brain

Brain,
It'll work fine. Just add a few drops of red food coloring. Bingo.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Freddo,
Howya doin? I've managed to get blood stains inside the trunk of my car and inside several rolls of carpet. What's the best way to remove the blood (and any potential DNA) from these surfaces? Thanks

Lefty

Lefty,
I occasionally have the same problem. Here's what I do. Pour a pint of club soda on the stain. Scrub vigorously with a brush until the stain comes loose. Let it dry for 24 hours and then toss the carpet into any handy incinerator or blast furnace. Push the car into a lake. Hope that helps.
Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fredd,
I'm 70 yrs old and just lost my job. I only have $10,000 in savings. I'm worried about my retirement. Please help!

Desperate

Desperate,
Find a bookie (I prefer Big Mike down by the lumberyard). Tell him to put $250,000 for you on Lucky Lou in the 5th race at Saratoga. If your horse wins, you are set for life and don't need to worry about retirement. If he doesn't win, you REALLY don't need to worry about retirement.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

• • • • • • •

Theological Quandaries about Hell from a Christian Perspective
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

There's actually very little in the canonical Christian Bible about Satan and Hell, so we're going to have to depend on folk traditions and philosophy to get our heads around this one.

The problem of Hell is a subset of The Problem of Evil, which poses the following dilemma:

If God is:

(1) omnipotent;
(2) omniscient; and
(3) morally benevolent

and we further assume that good destroys evil whenever possible, one can logically only hold any two (or one or none) of the three choices, otherwise you generate a contradiction. If a child (humanity) goes into her backyard to play by herself and encounters a rattlesnake (evil) and is about to pick it up, in which case she will be bitten and die, while Mother (God) is on the back stoop watching her, I wonder, if God is all-powerful and all-knowing, God knows how to prevent evil and has the might to do so, but chooses not to do it, bringing into question God's benevolence. Mother could've jerked the child away from the snake or grabbed a shovel with which to dispatch the snake, but doesn't. BAD Mother!!! If God is all-knowing and completely good, God would like to stop evil, but can't. Mother runs into the back yard to save her daughter, but the snake bites the daughter before she can get there. If God is all-powerful and all-good, God must be limited in the knowledge of how to prevent or stop evil. Mother is terrified of the snake and can't figure out how to rescue the child without being bitten herself, so in the course of her dithering about how to rescue the child safely, the snake bites the child and the Mother is left childless.

And what about Judas? If Judas was instrumental in bringing about the Crucifixion, so that Christ could die for the sins of all humanity, why should he be punished for being God's fall guy and making possible the potential salvation of everyone on Earth?

If we go with the Bible and assume that God created all that is, then God must have created Hell in that first week, also. Why would God create Hell if there were no one to go into it? If God knew that Lucifer and 1/3 of the heavenly host were going to betray him, why create them at all? Or if God were determined to make them, why not take away their ability to defy him? Likewise with Adam and Eve, why put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the middle of Eden, knowing that they would eat from it? Is that really fair or nice?

The Apostle Paul posited that God was the Great Potter and we are the clay. Perhaps with some of the clay, God makes things like cups and plates and jugs. Then, too, God also creates some clay pigeons for target practice. Paul argues that it is pointless for the clay pigeons to complain about their lot, because they were created for destruction. But why couldn't God have made them durable, so that they would only show that they'd been hit and wouldn't be destroyed from being hit?

A lot of my college students always insist that, "there can't be good without evil!" Perhaps that is true, but one is thereby abandoning thesis 1, that God is omnipotent. If God can do absolutely ANYTHING, God could arrange things so that there would be good without the need for evil.

I don't see a philosophically good way out of this dilemma. Saying things like "God's good is not analogous to human good" strikes me as an irrational word game, trying at any cost to defend God (a theodicy). You make your choices and live with the consequences; God is either somewhat weak, somewhat ignorant, or somewhat bad. Personally, I am least disturbed by a Christian God who is not omnipotent. Such is a Greek concept, not a biblical one. If God left us with an incomplete creation, prone to entropy and evil, then it is our duty to finish the creation. If Hell is not a metaphor, but in some meaningful sense real, then we should strive to make sure we don't end up there (or perhaps embrace going there, since all the interesting people will probably be there).

• • • • • • •

Hell's TV Guide
What you should be watching.
Compiled by, The Stalker

Sunday
The Walking Dead's second half of Season 5 airs on AMC at 9/8c.

Monday
For Batman fans a new series Gotham airs on Fox at 8/7c.
Breaking Bad's prequel Better Call Saul airs on AMC at 10/9c.

Tuesday
Supernatural season 10 airs on The CW at 9/8c.

Wednesday
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season ten airs on FX at 10/9c.

Thursday
Archer season six airs on FX at 10/9c.

Netflix
Spartacus seasons 1-4 returns to Netflix!
House of Cards Season 3 set to air February 27th!

• • • • • • •

Artwork of the Damned
"Scooter"
Painting by, The Stalker

A terrifying Hellhound, or perhaps a pet portrait of my relative's husky. (Close up)

For whom the bell tolls.
A poem by, John Donne

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

• • • • • • •

We hope you've enjoyed our first issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

by **Gradea** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:53 pm

The Stalker wrote:
(Image)
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

February 17th, 2015
Issue I. In the Land of the Dead

Index
I. Feature Region: Underworld
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Theological Quandaries about Hell from a Christian Perspective
V. Hell's TV Guide
VI. Artwork of the Damned

• • • • • • •

Feature Region: Underworld
Article by, The Stalker

(Image)

Woe to you, wicked spirits! Never hope to see heaven. I come to carry you to the other shore,
into eternal darkness, into fire and ice.
~Dante's inferno

Underworld is the official outpost of The Kingdom of Hell. Existing as the entrance to the fiery pits of Hell. Where lost souls gather in hopes they might gain their passage to Hell. While the majority of NS regions seek to mass recruit nations, Hell has put up a velvet rope only allowing a chosen few entrance. The excessive and elaborate requirements to join Hell are outlined here in The Trials to join Hell factbook. From Underworld residents may post on Hell's regional message board and get to know the region as they try to earn their way. Often spending months in Underworld before even being considered into Hell. While most are driven to madness and howl at their inability to cross the river Styx, a select minority prove their worth and are ferried across Hell's borders. Recently Hell has welcomed three new demonic souls to the pits. The new comers, some of whom waited over two months to join, express their pleasure at finally being accepted into the ranks of Hell, but remark how they thought it was odd to have to sign over ownership of their soul for an online game.

Ye who enter, abandon all hope...

• • • • • • •

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker
(Image)

Atheist Empire Occupation
It has been over two weeks since the start of The Black Rider's occupation of Atheist Empire, the invader delegate floating between 90 and 100 endorsements the situation does look rather grim. A collection of refugees have taken up shelter in The Atheist Empire to weather the storm. With little chance of a liberation the region's fate is left unclear, however is it confirmed the King of Hell has put a voodoo curse on all those involved and vowed to eat their souls.

Gay reaches 200 nations!
Congratulation to the region of Gay for their recent population spike, having reached the 200 nations marker and still growing! An impressive accomplishment for the dedicated community.

The First Age: The War of the Silmarils RPG
Interested in Lord of the Rings RPG? Be sure to check out this one out! Run by The Starlight. Forum Thread

The Time Vortex Elects a new Delegate
The Doctor Who fandom region The Time Vortex welcomes the return of Brentonania to the WA Delegate seat, with support from the former Delegate The Imperial Spatial Hispanic Federation.

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

• • • • • • •

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

(Image)

Dear Fredd,
I have a new girlfriend. Actually, she's my first girlfriend. She is much more experienced than I am. The other day, she was talking about 'doing it doggie style.' What does that mean?

Anxious

Anxious,
Kids these days. Fortunately for you, Fredd is hip to the modern lingo. 'Doggie style' is slang for 'buy me a Saint Bernard.'

Fredd
P.S. Send me her phone number.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most Exalted Fredd,
I'm developing a new explosive to help with my bid for world conquest. My idiot assistant purchased white fuming nitric acid instead of red fuming nitric acid for the final nitration step. Will the white fuming nitric acid work?

Sincerely,
The Brain

Brain,
It'll work fine. Just add a few drops of red food coloring. Bingo.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Freddo,
Howya doin? I've managed to get blood stains inside the trunk of my car and inside several rolls of carpet. What's the best way to remove the blood (and any potential DNA) from these surfaces? Thanks

Lefty

Lefty,
I occasionally have the same problem. Here's what I do. Pour a pint of club soda on the stain. Scrub vigorously with a brush until the stain comes loose. Let it dry for 24 hours and then toss the carpet into any handy incinerator or blast furnace. Push the car into a lake. Hope that helps.
Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fredd,
I'm 70 yrs old and just lost my job. I only have $10,000 in savings. I'm worried about my retirement. Please help!

Desperate

Desperate,
Find a bookie (I prefer Big Mike down by the lumberyard). Tell him to put $250,000 for you on Lucky Lou in the 5th race at Saratoga. If your horse wins, you are set for life and don't need to worry about retirement. If he doesn't win, you REALLY don't need to worry about retirement.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

• • • • • • •

Theological Quandaries about Hell from a Christian Perspective
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

There's actually very little in the canonical Christian Bible about Satan and Hell, so we're going to have to depend on folk traditions and philosophy to get our heads around this one.

The problem of Hell is a subset of The Problem of Evil, which poses the following dilemma:

If God is:

(1) omnipotent;
(2) omniscient; and
(3) morally benevolent

and we further assume that good destroys evil whenever possible, one can logically only hold any two (or one or none) of the three choices, otherwise you generate a contradiction. If a child (humanity) goes into her backyard to play by herself and encounters a rattlesnake (evil) and is about to pick it up, in which case she will be bitten and die, while Mother (God) is on the back stoop watching her, I wonder, if God is all-powerful and all-knowing, God knows how to prevent evil and has the might to do so, but chooses not to do it, bringing into question God's benevolence. Mother could've jerked the child away from the snake or grabbed a shovel with which to dispatch the snake, but doesn't. BAD Mother!!! If God is all-knowing and completely good, God would like to stop evil, but can't. Mother runs into the back yard to save her daughter, but the snake bites the daughter before she can get there. If God is all-powerful and all-good, God must be limited in the knowledge of how to prevent or stop evil. Mother is terrified of the snake and can't figure out how to rescue the child without being bitten herself, so in the course of her dithering about how to rescue the child safely, the snake bites the child and the Mother is left childless.

And what about Judas? If Judas was instrumental in bringing about the Crucifixion, so that Christ could die for the sins of all humanity, why should he be punished for being God's fall guy and making possible the potential salvation of everyone on Earth?

If we go with the Bible and assume that God created all that is, then God must have created Hell in that first week, also. Why would God create Hell if there were no one to go into it? If God knew that Lucifer and 1/3 of the heavenly host were going to betray him, why create them at all? Or if God were determined to make them, why not take away their ability to defy him? Likewise with Adam and Eve, why put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the middle of Eden, knowing that they would eat from it? Is that really fair or nice?

The Apostle Paul posited that God was the Great Potter and we are the clay. Perhaps with some of the clay, God makes things like cups and plates and jugs. Then, too, God also creates some clay pigeons for target practice. Paul argues that it is pointless for the clay pigeons to complain about their lot, because they were created for destruction. But why couldn't God have made them durable, so that they would only show that they'd been hit and wouldn't be destroyed from being hit?

A lot of my college students always insist that, "there can't be good without evil!" Perhaps that is true, but one is thereby abandoning thesis 1, that God is omnipotent. If God can do absolutely ANYTHING, God could arrange things so that there would be good without the need for evil.

I don't see a philosophically good way out of this dilemma. Saying things like "God's good is not analogous to human good" strikes me as an irrational word game, trying at any cost to defend God (a theodicy). You make your choices and live with the consequences; God is either somewhat weak, somewhat ignorant, or somewhat bad. Personally, I am least disturbed by a Christian God who is not omnipotent. Such is a Greek concept, not a biblical one. If God left us with an incomplete creation, prone to entropy and evil, then it is our duty to finish the creation. If Hell is not a metaphor, but in some meaningful sense real, then we should strive to make sure we don't end up there (or perhaps embrace going there, since all the interesting people will probably be there).

• • • • • • •

Hell's TV Guide
What you should be watching.
Compiled by, The Stalker

Sunday
The Walking Dead's second half of Season 5 airs on AMC at 9/8c.

Monday
For Batman fans a new series Gotham airs on Fox at 8/7c.
Breaking Bad's prequel Better Call Saul airs on AMC at 10/9c.

Tuesday
Supernatural season 10 airs on The CW at 9/8c.

Wednesday
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season ten airs on FX at 10/9c.

Thursday
Archer season six airs on FX at 10/9c.

Netflix
Spartacus seasons 1-4 returns to Netflix!
House of Cards Season 3 set to air February 27th!

• • • • • • •

Artwork of the Damned
"Scooter"
Painting by, The Stalker
(Image)
A terrifying Hellhound, or perhaps a pet portrait of my relative's husky. (Close up)

For whom the bell tolls.
A poem by, John Donne

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

• • • • • • •

We hope you've enjoyed our first issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

This is funny as Hell. Geddit?

by **Sedgistan** » Wed Feb 18, 2015 5:25 am

Gradea take a *** warning *** for the utterly unnecessary massive quote. Spoiler it in future.

by **The Stalker** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:07 pm

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

February 26th, 2015
Issue II. Lust For Life

Index
I. Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Satanism vs. Luciferianism
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. 10 True Made up Facts about Hell's Bells

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Article by, Domination Republic

Hello! And welcome to the world of religion!

As some of you may know, I am a registered minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but not many of the population are informed of our beliefs. This article will serve to educate you all on our doctrines and possibly evangelize you in the process.

The first most important thing to remember is the religion is a joke. Pastafarians do not actually believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) as an actual deity. There are no mass services or required celebration, though colanders and pirate attire are strongly suggested when speaking in public or spreading the FSM's noodly goodness.

The Gospel of the FSM opens with the story of creation, where the FSM made His first creations, midget, mountain and tree, with a detailed image depicting the event occurring with the FSM. The Gospel proves Intelligent Design (ID) occurred, though Christians have the push for its teaching in schools handled. The Gospel follows with the Pastafarian theory of Intelligent Falling (IF), where we believe scientist have brainwashed us with the idea of gravity, when it really is just the FSM holding us and everything down with his noodly appendages. The theory also accounts for why humans are now getting taller. As the population increases, the noodly appendages holding us down decrease, leading to more room for growth. Midgets are His chosen people, as they have the most noodly appendages holding them to Earth, making midgets blessed.

Most other religions say how humans were created in their deity's image, but this is not true for Pastafarians. The FSM made humans not in His image, as He is perfect and we are imperfect. The reward for following the FSM is to go to His domain, where there is a beer volcano and a stripper factory. It is a really good place to party and stuff, but the hell has stale beer and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.

Remember how I mentioned pirates? They are the prevention for Global Warming. As the pirate population has decreased, the Earth's temperature has increased. If there were more pirates, the world would be cooler, so National Talk Like A Pirate Day is one of our holiest days.

That is all for now, as I am sure there will be more even I have to learn about the faith, as I am reading the Gospel now, so Happy Religioning!

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

Atheist Empire Occupation: Update 2
Three and a half weeks since the start of The Black Rider's occupation of Atheist Empire, the invader delegate floating between 80 and 90 endorsements. With an estimated 90 raider nations in the region of 135, shows roughly only 45 original natives remaining of 107 nations they held prior to the raid. With many natives choosing to relocate to The Atheist Empire and the massive raider pile up, we could be witnessing the destruction of one of the oldest founderless regions in the game that has been around since 2003. We strongly recommend The Black Riders move on already, as denying future raiders the chance to raid Atheist Empire would be an offence to Raideron.

The Kalcrotic Chronicles: Into the mist RPG
Set in 1430 AD, join this epic adventure as it unfolds, explore mythical islands, encounter indigenous tribes and a portal to the afterlife!
Run by Stagmar.
Forum Thread

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,
I dropped off my gold necklace at the jewelry store a few weeks ago to have its broken lobster claw replaced. Now they keep claiming that the necklace is "lost" and I should give them more and more time to look for it.
Is it better to hire a hitman for the owner of the store or a burglar to clean out their stock? I'm low on cash right now and can't afford to do both.

--Necklaceless

Necklassless,
Your necklass is long gone. So we are talking revenge instead of recovery. Hitmen are pretty expensive. And burglars are generally unreliable. If money is an issue, the device named for Soviet foreign minister Vyacheslav Molotov would be my choice. Or see below.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Question: So i have recently purchased a few human remains, and acquired a skull, i wanna make a frankenstein to destroy the arctic, but i lack a way to get a brain or blood. Any tips. Also i might have eaten and drank the last time i got ahold of them, so i can't go for the fresh stuff. Also ground is still frozen.

The Zombie

Zombie,
My first question is what has the Arctic ever done to you? I know folks who want to destroy a country, but a whole climactic zone? Sheesh. Anyway, maybe you ought to team up with Necklassless. You want parts. Necklassless has somebody he/she wants to part out. Sounds like a match made in Hell.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fredd,
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Curious

Curious,
That depends on what kind of egg we are talking about. Dinosaur eggs were around millions of years before chickens. But if you are talking about a chicken egg, then the answer is... the chicken. The reason for this is that only a chicken can lay a chicken egg.
But where did the first chicken come from, you might ask. If you believe in evolution (and you are an idiot if you don't), the first chicken was the offspring of a mother who was infinitesimally close to being a chicken but wasn't quite one. Her baby slightly mutated from being an almost-chicken to being a chicken.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fredd,
Can the Flying Spaghetti Monster create a meatball so heavy that he can't lift it with all his noodly strength?

Bevis

Bevis,
The answer to this question becomes obvious if you break it down into 2 questions.
1. Is there a meatball so gigantic that the FSM can't create it? If you believe in the omnipotence of the almighty FSM, the answer is no.
2. Is there a meatball so heavy that the FSM can't lift it? See question 1.
The answer is no. There is no meatball that the FSM can't create and there is no meatball so heavy that he/she/it/they can't lift it.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luzr Fredd,
Are you gay? lol

Skatrboy694evr

Skatr,
Your mom didn't think so last night. By the way, did she ever work as a prostitute in Thailand? Just curious, because the last time I slept with someone that nasty, it was on an opium high in a Bangkok whorehouse. I really need to quit huffing paint so I don't wake up next to disease-ridden skanks like your mom any more.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Satanism vs. Luciferianism
Article by, Theistic Luciferia

First off, Luciferianism is very much like Satanism in many aspects. We both shun dogmatic religions in pursuit of self-empowerment, we both are automatically assumed to worship the devil, and we both perform rituals, but apart from the outside appearance as it may seem to a Judeo-Christian or any other Abrahamic religion, We are separate beliefs altogether.

From the Luciferian point of view, Satanists are more involved with the Physical Nature of man. They experiment, explore and enjoy that nature whilst they generally do not attempt to rise beyond that nature. Satan is an emblem of carnality and materiality.

Luciferians on the other hand tend to view Lucifer in a more spiritual way. In the eyes of a Luciferian, Lucifer is, (or in Athiestic Luciferianism Represents) enlightenment. And while Luciferians do embrace the enjoyment of one's life, they accept there are greater and more spiritual goals to be had. Many do see Satan and Lucifer to be different aspects of the same being, the carnal, rebellious and material Satan vs. The enlightened and spiritual Lucifer.

Luciferians also commonly see Satanists as reliant upon Judeo-Christianity, enjoying things such as pleasure, sexuality and success simply because Christianity traditionally rejects such ideas even condemning them. Many Satanists enjoy the idea of simply poking the church in the face with things of a "blasphemous" nature and watching the church writhe and sputter, knowing they can no longer do anything about it.

Luciferians on the other hand form their own beliefs, as there is no set belief structure. Often, the idea behind the dæmons mentioned in Luciferianism stem from their original worship during the times of the Baals and Ashtaroths of the ancient World. Luciferians observe many religions that are not of direct Christian or Jewish influence. For instance, we observe Discordianism, Mithrim, Buddhism, Wicca, Norse, Druidism, and many other Esoteric/Occultic/Pagan religion we can find meaning in.

One of the biggest differences between the Satanist and the Luciferian is Magick/Rituals. On the Satanic side of things, ritual/magic is generally symbolic (see Le Messe Noir or Black Mass for instance. Simply a way to mock and insult christianity whilst shoving a Turnip wafer in a naked woman or altar's V.) symbolism ranges from the bird to the Christians in Le Messe Noir to self-empowerment in the L'Air Epais. Luciferian Ritual/MagicK is more about accomplishing a task or a goal. It's more the empowerment through conquering a goal. If a particular ritual does not favor the Magus, that ritual need not be performed. Rather Luciferians do Ritual or Magick not so much for the Symbology of the Ritual, but more for the effect. Beliefs differ on how the ritual works. Theistic Luciferians see the ritual to Literally work, where as Atheistic Luciferians see the ritual as a sort of awakening of the Subconscious Mind and setting it upon the said goal.

The Luciferians and Satanists may be different, but we are very Similar. There are both Theistic and Atheistic versions of both and there generally aren't many actual writings of either until the 20th Century, Courtesy of the Catholic Sadists. In turn I leave you with these two similar pieces.

The 9 Satanic Statements by: Magus Anton Szandor LaVey

1. Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
2. Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
5. Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!
7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all!
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
9. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!

THE ADVERSARIAL DOCTRINE

1. Lucifer represents wisdom found through self-exploration.
2. Lucifer represents rejection of accepted “truths” instead to explore possibilities.
3. Lucifer symbolizes rebellion with a purpose; knowledge, wisdom and power.
4. Lucifer represents utilizing fantasy and symbolism to open the Gates of Hell; the underworld is the world of power.
5. Lucifer represents Balance spiritually and physically, that Light and Darkness are equally important to the mental and physical health of individual.
6. Lucifer represents self-deification with earned compassion and the value of loved ones’.
7. Lilith represents the wisdom and instinctual power of both woman and man, that the feminine is the motivator of all life.
8. Lilith represents independence and freedom of spirit.
9. Lilith represents sexual liberation and the desire to seek what you wish, with responsibility and regard to the law.
10. Lilith represents the thirst for continued existence in time, the immortality of the spirit beyond flesh.
11. Lilith represents the darkness surrounding the Light of Godhood, the bearing flame of her mate, Samael.
-From THE BIBLE OF THE ADVERSARY by Michael W. Ford

Artwork of the Damned
"Sir Nico"
20x16 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

(Close Up)

10 True Made up Facts about Hell's Bells
Article by, The Stalker

1. Hell's Bells is NS first major religious based newspaper, promoting non-traditional religions, all of our writers are in fact divine prophets.

2. Hell's Bells was created because The Stalker didn't think Gameplay had enough Newspapers.

3. Hell's Bells is the best and most humble newspaper of all time.

4. While other newspapers be talking about GCR drama, we're over here like Hail Satan!

5. Hell's Bells believes all its readers should send a puppet nation to Underworld to burn with us.

6. Hell's Bells believes Hells Bells is an awesome song, so is For Whom the Bell Tolls.

7. Hell's Bells is a lot like the Liberty Bell, only cooler and more important.

8. Hell's Bells claims ownership and artistic license over all Bell-theme topics and subject matter NS wide, and demands More Cowbell!

9. Hell's Bells firmly believes all religions are true, even the fake ones, and invites all prophets to submit us articles.

10. Therefore, send not to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

We hope you've enjoyed our second issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

by **Valrifell** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:46 pm

You thought GP didn't have enough newspapers? There's a new satire or super-cereal unbiased reporting detailing R/D almost quite literally every other week.
Though you now have most of those beat with two issues, congratulations.

by **The Stalker** » Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:51 pm

Valrifell wrote:You thought GP didn't have enough newspapers? There's a new satire or super-cereal unbiased reporting detailing R/D almost quite literally every other week.

lol, yea that's my point. It was a joke.

Valrifell wrote:Though you now have most of those beat with two issues, congratulations.

Thanks!

by **The Stalker** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:59 pm

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

March 17th, 2015
Issue III. Drink with the Devil

Index
I. Evil Governmental Types
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Selling Your Soul... so you think
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. Devil Drinking Songs, your St. Patty's Day Playlist

Evil Governmental Types
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

What is the most evil type of government? To answer that, we will first have to have a working definition of evil, so I propose a hedonistic view that evil is unmerited pain and suffering (and good is the opposite of such). That leads us to the question of what is pain and suffering and how do they differ for individuals? I’m fairly certain that there are people in this region who, if given a choice, would prefer to roast over hot coals than be strapped down and forced to watch the 700 Club and its ilk, maybe adding to that such Disney classics as “That Darn Cat,” “The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes,” “The Love Bug,” “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” and many others in its schmaltzy repertoire (forgive me if some of these movies aren’t owned and distributed by Disney). Let me label such people as evil-seekers, while the rest of the population tends to be made of good-seekers. Therefore, what forms of government best lend themselves to unmerited pain and suffering for good-seekers and would be most embraced by evil seekers?

If you regularly flog people in public, extend the death penalty to trivial offenses (including being homeless), set fire to (i.e., cremate) the dead against their dying wishes, sacrifice first-borns and the homeless on live TV, force the families of the recently dead to accept that their loved ones will have all of their useful organs stripped for their value, and the like, you will quickly lose most or all of your Civil Rights and Political Freedoms. So let us begin by saying that evil governments will tend to have low CRs and PFs. Unfortunately, there are some evil choices that enhance one or both of the human rights, such as authorizing blood sports, letting trials be settled by duels instead of the law, permitting terrorism, and others. So let us keep in mind that there may be some evil-maximizing choices that lead to higher than basement levels for CRs and PFs and thus to governmental varieties beyond the obvious.

So let us first consider the obvious choices, wherein there are virtually no CRs or PFs: Psychotic Dictatorship (L, L, L), Iron Fist Consumerist (L, M, L) and Corporate Police State (L, H, L). In all three of these, there are no protections for CRs or PFs, so it is possible, even likely, that such governments will be dystopias. This reminds me of the philosophical observation that the best form of government is a good king and the worst is a bad king. Hence Psychotic Dictatorships immediately leap to mind as the most enabling of evil; assuming that most people with absolute power tend to be corrupted by it, plus all of the members of your society except for a tiny sliver of the elite, will live in grinding poverty. What about the good apples, though? I have known some nations that were PDs that used all of that unfettered governmental freedom to force the scientific, evidence-based policies than some people in more enlightened forms of government resist mandating, like requiring vaccines, teaching of evolution in public schools, fluoridating the water, banning guns, banning religious displays in schools and other public properties, banning the eating of meat, mandating the social and financial equality of its citizens, protecting the environment with a heavy hand, taking heavy-handed steps towards integration, etc.

The next step up the ladder is Iron Fist Consumerist. Now a slightly larger slice of the elite will be wealthy, while the rest of the population tends to live in poverty, but perhaps not as hopelessly destitute as in PDs. With a better economy, IFCs can get into more international and domestic trouble than their poorer cousins in PDs can. Perhaps supporting a larger military with which to annex surrounding territories; manufacturing, using, and selling WMDs, building a large enough government bureaucracy effectively to manage the population, for instance keeping track of their barcodes would be examples.

At the top of this family of nations is the Corporate Police State. Now there is potential for evil on a vast scale. Perhaps a rising tide raises all ships, or perhaps there is simply a vast disparity in income between the top and bottom earners. Pollution is typically rampant in CPSs. CPSs, too, have rampant power to oppress natives and oppress neighbouring nations in the region. They have all of the evil powers of PDs and IFCs, just bumped up a notch because of their fearsome economies.

IMHO, there are enough CRs desirable for unlocking evil that it is conceivable that (M, H, L), a Compulsory Consumerist State, should be in the running for the title of Most Evil Government form. One example might be this: suppose you have universal conscription such that everyone has to serve in the military for a few years as young adults. There is a glaring exception, though: gays are prohibited from joining the military and people have gone to great lengths to fake being gay to be excused from military service. It would thus make sense from a pragmatic point of view to allow gays to serve in the military to close that loophole, even though doing such will raise your CRs. You don’t have to care about gay rights in such a move, it simply happens that your government’s interests and those of gay activists coincide at that point. You dismiss or vote against most freedoms, but you affirm enough CRs that you tend to stay in the low end of the medium range of civil rights.

There are other contenders for the title of Most Evil, as one searches amongst the bottom and lower-medium human rights nations. In particular, it seems to me that one will tend to eliminate or co-opt PFs or else the voters would force more benevolence out of you, thus options like Father/Mother Knows Best (M, M, L) or Libertarian Police State (H, H, L) would at least make the short list of Most Evil.

I will assert that CCS have the greatest potential for evil, depending greatly on the subtlety and nastiness of the player behind the nation. To me, it seems a trifle unstable of a government, particularly compared to a CPS, but some people manage to stay there quite well. Depending on your POV, any of the 27 possible governmental types COULD be your own version of Hell, but IMHO, none can potentially pass the evil capacity of a CCS, with its mega economy and leave-them-begging-for-more CRs.

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

Hell Opens embassies with The Rejected Realm
Hell was excited to recently open embassies with The Rejected Realm, currently Hell's only embassy outside its satellite regions since the loss of Atheist Empire's embassy. TRR WA Delegate Unibot said quote "

". Hell's leadership was please to open diplomatic communications and looks forward to future friendly relations between the two regions.

Atheist Empire Occupation: Update 3
A month and half long occupation continues to drag on in Atheist Empire, the invader delegate still holding between 70 and 80 endorsements. With many natives already relocated to The Atheist Empire, and only a small cluster of 30 nations left, one wonders why they are even still there. Recently in an interview on the new pro-raider newspaper, The Roar of Raiderdom, Festavo (Trick Shot) described the Atheist Empire campaign as quote, "Boring".

We're inclined to agree, it seems terribly boring and a waste of resources to have literally 70-100 players dog pile on one region. Yes while it is an effective method to occupy a region long term, such as the months ~~wasted~~ spent at Anarchy, it's not a very engaging and hardly a challenge.

Now if I were in the raider leadership, and this is just one humble King's opinion, if I had some 70 to 100 raiders to call on, i'd be more bold with these available numbers get more of them involved, taking 10 regions with 10 endorsements each, or 4-5 regions with 20 endorsements. Instead of just one person holding the seat, many would. Giving way more people a chance to get involved on both sides of the R/D game. Makes for a more dynamic gameplay when raider actually have to fend off defenders liberation attempts and defenders get actual targets they can liberate. More activity, more fun, and actually a challenge.

So, please don't be boring.

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Fredd,
I have recently decided to start a metal band, kinda like the new sh*t that's out, but heavier and meaner. I don't want a bunch of people who don't know how to mosh at my shows, also, i don't know what to call my band, i was wondering if you could 1. Name my band and 2. Help me figure out how to banish the nonmoshers from my shows.

-Real Mosher.

Mosher,
For metal band names, I've always like combos that normally don't go together. Like “Death Muppets”, “Hell Spawn Tadpoles” or “Ghost Chili Froot Loops”. Or anything with 'mega' in it, like “Megaload” or “Megathrill” or “MegaToad.” Hope that helps. As far as repelling non-moshers goes, maybe have an ambulance standing by outside the door or make everybody sign a form releasing the band from liability for death, maiming etc. The moshers won't care, the wannabe's will be scared off.

Fredd
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Dear Fredd,
What narcotics do you recommend? And are there any I should avoid?

Curious

Curious,
My two faves are sex and Makers Mark (but not necessarily at the same time. Although that can be good, too). A little herb never hurt anybody either. Since my plan is to rule the world for the next 50 years, I tend to stay away from the ones that rot your brain or make you see things that aren't there. I've got plenty of real enemies without imaginary ones coming after me, too.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Selling Your Soul... so you think
Article by, Theistic Luciferia

In the world of today, there is much to be Desired, money, fame, that hot chick at work, but in the course of time since the earliest days of Catholic Misinformation, there has been a So-Called way to get these desires. Sell your immortal soul. Supposedly, Satan will give you anything for your soul, but is it really so?

First off, Satan isn't in charge of hell, he is a separate entity altogether. The fear is, as always misplaced not to mention all wrong. No soul is worth anything if you were willing to sell it. Put it this way, you don't get paid to sleep when you're gonna do it anyways, same thing with your soul. If you are devoted to selling it for a million dollars, Lucifer isn't gonna pay you when you're still gonna go to hell anyways.
Also soul deals are risky as it is always possible to go back on that deal and ask "god" for forgiveness and "save" your soul.

So i've made it hopeless for you to get what you want from the dark entities of hell? Not so much. While your soul is worth about as much as a handful of dirt on the ground, there are other ways to persuade a dæmon to work on your behalf. First thing is knowing what dæmon to call upon. My personal Preference would be Lucifuge Rofocale. Lucifuge is the liaison to Lucifer himself and is not as busy as his master. Usually dark incense and the proper ritual will be enough to establish contact. Then by signing an infernal Pact, he will relay the terms on to Lucifer who will make whatever it is you desire happen, so long as the price is right.
The price usually reflects what you want. Usually a Gold Coin or some other kind of offering of payment is sufficient.

The best thing about making an infernal pact is that once the price is paid, the commitment is then on the demon called upon to carry out your wish. You could simply relax and allow whatever it os you requested to enter your life. Unlike Christian requests to the angels or Jehovah, Infernal pacts have no limits on what you can ask for. If you wanted to marry Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, the dæmons can and will make it happen, if you want someone to die, it can happen, if you want to have more money than you can count, it will be so, if you want to outlive the youngest person on earth's great grandchildren, then so be it, it will happen.

Lucifuge isn't the only Dæmon that can be called upon though. You can call upon any spirit you want, so long as you know how to call them and so long as you are ready to pay whatever they require. Another important thing is that you should not fear any force you intend to work with. Most dæmons you encounter will act a lot like you believe they will act, So if you believe a dæmon will try to harm you, it will, but if you believe a dæmon will be courteous and help you, it also will.

For a contract to be official, both parties must sign it, so you will have to be able to get the spirit to manifest in physical form. This may take a few attempts, don't give up if it doesn't work at first. Also, treat the spirit with the utmost courtesy and professionalism. No one wants to make a deal with someone who acts like a prick. And remember, if you aren't prepared to pay a price, don't jump into trying to make a deal, your soul isn't something you can just give like a car at a casino.

-Baphomet.

Artwork of the Damned
"Happy Landfill"
10x8 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

(Close Up)

Devil Drinking Songs, your St. Patty's Day Playlist
Complied by The Stalker

Rum Rebellion, Drink with the Devil

The Doors, Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)

Voltaire, Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Song)

John Lee Hooker, One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

AC/DC, Have a Drink on Me

Rainbow, Drinking with the Devil

The Devil Makes Three, Old Number 7

The Beat Farmers, Are You Drinking With Me Jesus?

Metallica, Whiskey In The Jar

Family Guy, Drunken Irish Dad

Muddy Waters, Champagne & Reefer

Beastie boys, Brass Monkey

Snoop Dogg, Gin & Juice

Irish Drinking Song, Whiskey Your The Devil

Sublime, 40oz. to Freedom

Willie Nelson, Whiskey River

Frank Sinatra, Drinking Again

The Kill Devil Hills, Drinking Too Much

The Kinks, (Let's all drink to the) Death of a Clown

Buck-O-Nine, Irish Drinking Song

Flogging Molly, Drunken Lullabies

We hope you've enjoyed our third drunken issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

by **The Stalker** » Tue Mar 31, 2015 8:47 pm

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

April 1st, 2015
Issue IV. Have ya heard?

Index
I. We are not Nice!
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Hell's Password
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. 13 REASONS WHY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS RIGHT AND I AM CONVERTING.........

We are not Nice!
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

Denizens of Hell and other Hell-like regions generally do not want to be nice or Nice, the WA ranking. How do you decrease your score for the Nice ranking? It seems to me that there two, somewhat intertwined routes: Be Libertarian (subdivided into high freedom and smaller government options) or Be Evil.

High Freedom

Look for issues that allow you to do unpopular things at the expense of supposed moral decency, including:
 Supporting abortion rights;
 Supporting euthanasia;
 Supporting cannibalism;
 Supporting blood sports;
 Supporting the right to burn anything and everything;
 Supporting atheism and alienating religion;
 Supporting social inequality through allowing the wealthy to marginalize the poor or encouraging a social class system;
 Allowing the death penalty;
 Allowing your citizens to carry concealed weapons;
 Allowing “Stand Your Ground” kinds of legislation, not limited to literally standing up to someone in a confrontation, but also things like road rage and noise;
 Allowing or forcing people to become or stay parents;
 Allowing genetic engineering; and many others.

Smaller Government

The key word here is “privatize.” Businesses performing the functions of government inherently victimize the poor, whereas governmental oversight tends to be universally applicable. Whenever possible, unravel the social safety net. Do things like:
• Privatize prisons;
• Privatize roads;
• Privatize the Post Office;
• Privatize the government;
• Privatize beaches;
• Privatize the military;
• Privatize the Fire Department
• Privatize dying symphonies;
• Cut taxes across the board;
• Cut taxes regressively (hit the poor harder than the rich, or enable the rich) such as abolishing inheritance tax;
• Cut the budget for health, welfare, and education; and much more

Evil

If you are reading this, odds are you know a lot about evil already, but at the risk of preaching to the choir:
 Have public floggings;
 Have excessive prison sentences for minor offenses, like graffiti;
 Expand the number of crimes qualifying for the death penalty;
 Execute people for violent crime and give their possessions to the victim’s family;
 Limit education, health & welfare, etc., to the rich;
 Deny retirement benefits;
 Practice Social Darwinism in things like letting depressed people commit suicide;
 Poison the environment, though industrial waste or pesticides like DDT;
 Take newborns from their parents;
 Disrespect the bodies and burials of the dead;
 Mandate blood contributions for genetic profiling;
 Breach privacy by monitoring communications; and many more.

These are, to varying degrees, low freedom options. If you combine these with the above high freedom options, it is conceivable you could end up somewhere towards the middle, perhaps as an Inoffensive Centrist Democracy, although I note that most not Nice governments tend to be Anarchies, Psychotic Dictatorships, Corporate Police States, Compulsory Consumerists, and similarly extreme types of government.

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

South Pacific Raided by The Black Hawks
The dastardly Black Hawks have recently taken over South Pacific, a region they had raided two years before. Already piling on endorsements the invader Delegate has reached 75 endorsers thus far.

Atheist Empire Occupation: Update 4
Two months of occupation continues to drag on in Atheist Empire, the invader delegate floating around 60 endorsements. With nearly 200 days already spent in Anarchy, this makes an average of a mere two maybe three major missions for The Black Riders per year.

A new day in Ferelden
This week saw the creation of a new Dragon Age themed region Ferelden, established by King Kyraina. Dragon Age fans are encouraged to join up and get involved!

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Freddo,
Everybody knows that insane is the opposite of sane. So why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Stumped

Stumpy,
I'd like to blame it on the cheese-eating French. Their word for flammable is inflammable. So it would make sense that when English was grabbing all of those other French words (ensemble, entourage, petite, reservoir, french fry, etc), it grabbed up that one, too. As fun as it is to blame the French for everything, they aren't responsible for this particular screwup. Inflammable came from the Latin inflammare, which means 'in flames'.

Fredd
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Mr. Fredd
Is Baby Powder made out of babies?

-Skeptic

Skeptic,
That's a reasonable guess. Since we all know that gun powder is made from ground up guns that were confiscated by the police, baking powder is made from the ashes of the losers on 'Hell's Kitchen' and black powder is made from… well, we don't need to go there.
But, strangely enough, baby powder isn't actually made from babies. I know I was surprised to find that out. Turns out, it's made from dried unicorn tears. The unicorns are kept in a top secret government location (most likely Area 52 – far more secret than Area 51). They are held in tiny cages, fed nothing but onions and ghost chilis and are tortured 24/7 to make them cry. After a few months, they die from exhaustion. Fortunately, the gov't has a massive unicorn test tube breeding program to keep up with demand.
So, aren't you glad to find out baby powder isn't made from babies?

Fredd
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Dear Fredd,
I wanna prank my coworkers this April 1st, I was thinking rat poison in the coffee or maybe hide rattle snakes in the toilets in the public bathrooms. What would your suggestion be?

~The Joker

Joker,
Those both sound like fun. Unfortunately, some frumpy, no-fun businesses frown on coworkers killing each other, no matter how humorously it is done. As a slightly less lethal prank, maybe a few miligrams of iodine-131 in the office coffee pot instead of poison. Nobody will die immediately, but most everybody will end up with thyroid cancer. The payoff on this prank might take decades, but that will make it even more satisfying 20 years from now as you hold your coworkers hand in the intensive care ward and whisper "April Fools!" in their ear as they take their last breath.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exhaulted Fredd
I wanna move to florida and enjoy the warm, the arctic just doesn't do it for me, but i need a job. Other than killing people and fixing military aircraft, i have no skills. Other than music, which is near impossible to just get hired in. Any ideas on what i should go for?

Potentially Homeless.

P.H.,
Lots o' ideas. The Fredd used to live someplace even better than Florida. Nice and warm, very few mosquitos. This land of milk and honey is known as Mesa, AZ. In Mesa, there is a little company called Boeing. At their Mesa plant, they build Apache Longbow helicopters. My guess is about half their staff is ex-military. Lots o' mechanics. Check 'em out.
If you have your heart set on swampy Florida, I suspect the drug cartels could use somebody with your skill set. I hear the pay is good, but the turnover can be kinda high.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Artwork of the Damned
"St Francis Preaching to the Birds"
8x10 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

(Close Up)

13 REASONS WHY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS RIGHT
AND I AM CONVERTING.........
Article by, Theistic Luciferia

1. First off, An excuse to not work Sundays, Monday Mornings and other random days

2, i get to eat my god's blood and flesh!!

3, if i become a priest i get to half drown infants and other people.

4, i will get to wear a murder symbol.

5, it's ok to kill people if they might be a witch.

6, i get to learn latin curse words.

7, i wanna do an exorcism, or cause one.

8, if someone can do something i can't, it's Black Magick and it's evil

9, i wanna go to church high them reenact the High In Church video

10, i can go yell at musicians i don't like about being evil, then go enjoy some good old Hypocracy

11, The Bible doesn't say anything about doing drugs.

12, i wanna replace all the choral books with copies of the Necronomicon

13, if you took any of this seriously, April Fools!

We hope you've enjoyed our fourth and April Fools day issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

by **The Stalker** » Tue Apr 21, 2015 5:06 pm

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

April 21st, 2015
Issue V. Sympathy For The Devil

Index
I. Hell's Inhabitants
II. Spotlight News: Lazarus
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. The New Luciferian Era [NLE]
V. Artwork of the Damned: They will not submit.
VI. The Fall of Lucifer, Chapter I: God's Will

Hell's Inhabitants
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

Permit me to take a short break from talking about NS issues to ramble out loud with some of my thoughts about the inhabitants of Hell, primarily from a Christian perspective.

Christian orthodoxy claims that on Judgment Day, the living and the bodily resurrected dead will be sorted by JC into the "sheep," who will go to the New Heaven (some people, primarily Jehovah's Witnesses, claim only a tiny minority will go to a NH, that most will go to the New Earth, for the former things will have passed away) and the "goats," who will go to the lake of fire, which I imagine to be like the magma chamber of some gigantic volcano or perhaps the surface of a star. Dante's Inferno has some of the damned tortured by fire, some by ice, and still others via mutilations, painful aesthetic grotesqueries, being eternally chewed on by Satan, etc. Needless to say, most of these visions are of extreme violence/damage to the persons of the damned. If the physically resurrected bodies of Judgment Day are made of atoms and molecules and are at least roughly equivalent to what we are now, then in such extreme environments, these atoms and molecules would quickly be broken apart as the damned burned or were vaporized. Where's the eternal suffering if your body is destroyed in under a second?

Matthew 18:12 approaches the damned with a different set of metaphors, attributing to JC, Hell as "the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." I personally find this vision more intimidating than being burnt to a crisp before I can feel it. Who knows what terrors the darkness holds to provoke such reactions? Is it simply anguish at eternal separation from God and missing the opportunity for eternal bliss? Or is there something more visceral, all the monsters from our ids given form to haunt and torture us for all time? It just doesn't say. JC continues this theme of exclusion in the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins, implying those who do not do the will of God will be locked out of the house [Heaven].

In I Corinthians 18:44, Paul (or whoever wrote this passage) asserts that we are “sown [buried] physical bodies, but raised [in the Resurrection] spiritual bodies.” In the post-Resurrection appearances of JC, he is like his former self to a point of still carrying the wounds given to him at the Crucifixion, but is so unlike his former self that his best friends took hours to recognize him. If we are fundamentally different from our current selves, no longer made of atoms and molecules, but some indestructible spiritual force, then here is the opportunity for the damned to suffer eternally, assuming they have nerve endings like us. The Gospel According to John portrays the resurrected JC as eating a breakfast of baked fish, emphasizing his human characteristics, so it makes a certain sense to say that spiritual bodies are capable of human pleasures and pains. Perhaps such spiritual bodies can feel the supreme heat of a sun’s surface without being damaged by such; perhaps the spiritual bodies are blown apart by the forces of the lake of fire, only to reform immediately and begin the cycle of pain all over again.

Christian art, literature, and other media usually represent the damned as being tortured by the third of the heavenly host who were loyal to Lucifer. I have a problem with demons in red suits skewering the damned on pitchforks, not because such wouldn’t be painful enough, but that the demons and devils of Hell were cast out of Heaven and are just as much held prisoners as the evil people whose souls are imprisoned in there, too. Perhaps the situation is akin to The Lord of the Flies in that the demons and devils and Satan are abandoned and have no rules or structure except those they impose themselves, thus they make themselves the masters of a bad situation and take sadistic pleasure at torturing the resurrected humans who come their way, inflicting pain on the weak and vulnerable damned instead of the God who sent the demons and devils and Satan to Hell.

Or perhaps there are angels in Hell overseeing the work of torture. "Angel" in Greek means “messenger,” so perhaps some real angels could be in Hell to make sure that the damned receive the message of God’s disfavour for not having lived lives of faith. If angels really are creatures of love and compassion, this vision rings untrue. In fact, the whole enterprise seems unholy, with a supposedly loving and benevolent God abandoning his/her children for all eternity with absolutely no possible means of redemption. That just seems…mean. Medieval theologians postulated a periodic vacation from Hell, a refrigidarium,after which those souls would be given the opportunity to stay in Heaven permanently. In one of his books, Christian author C.S. Lewis portrayed JC as a bus driver, periodically driving his bus into Hell to rescue a relative few inhabitants. JC told the passengers that if they did not go back, they could refer to their time in Hell as “Purgatory.”

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

Lazarus
If you've been in the NS forums, the World Assembly, or likely gotten some spam about it, then you are one of the many following the events unfolding in Lazarus over the last two weeks. For those who don't know the short version is the current delegate of Lazarus Stujenske coup the region, he removed their constitution and ejected a number of the former government members of Lazarus and hundreds of long term residents. He has overhauled the government structure, with support from The New Pacific Order (NPO) aka The Pacific to form The New Lazarus Order (NLO). The government in Exile also known as the "Lazarus Underground" is lead by former Lazarus delegate Funkadelia, they have been rallying support to retake their homeland.

Since the start of this we have seen a wave of backlash towards the NPO/NLO, every game created region (GCR) has closed their embassies with the two regions and spoken out against their actions in Lazarus. With the exception of Balder who wishes to remain neutral in the matter despite pressure to pick a side. In addition to the tarnished relations with their fellow GCRs, the NPO/NLO and its members have been the subject of many WA Security Council resolutions. Beginning with the Condemnation of Stujenske, quickly followed by the repeal of The Pacific's longtime Delegate and Emperor of the NPO Krulltopia's Commendation, and soon to be passed repeal of NPO Senator A Mean Old Man's Commendation.

In the coming days there will be a resolution to Condemn The Pacific, authored by Jean Pierre Trudeau, and co-authored by both Cormac and The Stalker. With already wide spread support for it, this could be the first GCR to ever be Condemned. While generally with GCR many feel they shouldn't be Commended / Condemned, because with most GCR governments and players, they come and go ever few years. Unlike with user created regions, GCR generally change hands often enough most feel they can't really be commended / condemned. However the Pacific is the exception to that rule, Krulltopia has had the delegate seat for nearly 6 years and NPO government ruled over The Pacific longer, and it has a history of colonizing attempts like this throughout its past, beyond the recent events in Lazarus.

Despite the outrage against the NPO, they continue to tighten their grip over Lazarus, but was taking over Lazarus worth the price of their souls?

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Fredd
Is it a good idea to try to Lawyer my way out of a ticket even if i did everything the officer said i did?
-No Law Degree

NLD,
Depends on the ticket. If it's a $50 speeding ticket with no bearing on whether or not you can still drive, why bother? The lawyer will cost 10 times what the ticket will. If it's something that may get your license suspended or has major $$$ finage, then, by all means, bring in help. At worst, the lawyer might be able to delay the case enough to allow you to drive for a few extra months. An attorney might also be able to plea down your ticket to something less damaging to you. Or if you are really lucky, he might be able to get it thrown out on a technicality (wrong date, misspelled your name etc). I had an 80 mph in a 55 zone tossed because the cop didn't show up to court. Could happen to you, too. Just be aware, if you bring in a lawyer, and you lose the court case, you get to pay both the fine and the attorney. Woohoo!

You have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky, punk?

Fredd
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Fredd,
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Perplexed

Perp,
Ahhh, the age old question that has stumped hungry people and chicken lovers for decades. I don't know the answer for sure, but I have two main theories. 1) He was making a midnight visit to see that slut Henrietta while Foghorn was on a business trip. 2) He was running for his life from a crazed, butcher knife wielding Colonel Sanders.

Fredd
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Dear Fredd,
Why do they call you the Leviathan? Are you a terrible sea monster that eats people? Do you live under the sea? Have you ever met Sponge Bob? He has square pants.

Sincerely,
Patrick

Patrick,
I came up with that early on in my stint in Hell. For the first year or two after I first arrived (2004-ish), I just listened to what was going on in Hell and other places without making any comment. After a few years, I was one of the bigger nations in Hell, so I changed my title to 'The Silent Leviathan of Freddland'. Once we started the Demon name thing, 'Leviathan' seemed like a natural, since in demonology, Leviathan was one of the Princes of Hell. So, no, not a sea monster.Rarely resort to cannibalism. Never met Sponge Bob. But I did meet Billy Bob when I lived in Kentucky. He didn't have square pants. He also lived in a trailer in the woods instead of a pineapple under the sea.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

The New Luciferian Era [NLE]
Article by, Theistic Luciferia

Welcome to the New Luciferian Era
Before we begin we must expand upon what a Luciferian is without the bias of conspiracy theory and mono-theistic dogma.

The word Lucifer is used literally and not changed to fit the modern folklore built up around Christian ideology. Lucifer is a word that means “Bringer of Light” and is used to describe the phenomenon known as “The Morning Star.” Since time immemorial Light has been used as a symbol for knowledge and awareness. These most basic concepts can be used to build up an entire philosophy from first principles. One can become a Bringer of Light to all around them and thereby act as a Lucifer in the world.

Luciferians do not worship “the devil”, Satan or any external god. If anything, it could be said that Luciferians practically worship Knowledge itself, although it would be more accurate to say that we venerate Knowledge. We seek to evolve Knowledge into Wisdom via practical experience. To apply Knowledge into useful experience allows a practical understanding which increases our subjective feeling of Power (control over our immediate environment or life).

A deep understanding of the natural world and of the self brings the power to change the world, for better or worse. It is imperative that we use this power for the progression of our species and indeed all sentient life in the multiverse. We seek the full progression of humanity so that our species can free itself from the mental slavery that has bound us for thousands of years. These mental shackles have been institutionalized through the dogmatic religions and nationalistic ideologies of the world.
These institutions and rigid patterns of thought are destined to fall into obscurity. Although this process can be slowed down, it cannot be stopped. The status quo is pushing harder than ever to keep things from changing because they see more and more individuals reclaiming their individual freedoms and personal power. The old mainstream is dying and we are here to usher in the genuine New Age.

With this simple understanding we can now introduce the New Luciferian Era (NLE).
In ancient times the Mayan culture developed a calendar so accurate that it rivals our modern calendar. Our current Gregorian calendar is entirely based on the solar cycle, whereas the Mayan calendar incorporated several celestial cycles into their calculations. We have all heard about the propaganda and fear around the apocalyptic events that were supposed to happen at the end of the Mayan Long Count Calendar, the popular date of which was given as December 21st, 2012 CE. Many even claimed that this date would mark The End of the World. In a very real sense, the world did end and a new aeon of enlightenment has risen to take its place. The day after the End of the World marks the start of Year Zero of the New Luciferian Era.

The entire calendar describes a “Great Year” of roughly 28,000 years. This value is not arbitrary. It is based on one complete “wobble” of the Earth around the tilt of its North-South axis. This natural cycle has been observed by more than one ancient civilization and has been verified by modern science. Just as we divide a common solar year into twelve sections, each ruled by one of the signs of the Zodiac, this Mayan Great Year can be divided up into twelve Ages, again with each ruled by a sign of the Zodiac. Each of these Zodiacal Ages can be considered a “Great Month” of roughly 2300 years each. The transition from one Great Month to another is referred to as the Precession of the Equinoxes.

It is important to note that the NLE describes the beginning of a new Great Year and not simply the transition to a new Great Month. However, it is difficult to conceptualize the shift taking place between the previous twenty-eight thousand years to the new twenty-eight thousand year period unfolding before us. Therefore it is valuable to dig down and examine the more immediate changes as described by multiple sources.

At this time we are in the transition from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius. The sign of Pisces is represented by the fish and its Age correlates primarily with the reign of Christ. The association between the Age of Pisces and Christianity has been explored by others in depth. For our purposes it is of interest to contemplate the following words of Christ as written in the Book of Matthew (NIV) chapter 28 verses 19-20:
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very End of the Age.”

Interpreted from an esoteric perspective, Christ and his teachings are intended for those living in the Age of Pisces and a new revelation will set the stage for the Age of Aquarius. Indeed, the prophetic Book of Revelation gives a symbolic account of the personal and collective transformation that would occur and is currently occurring now that the End of the Age has arrived. The great divide between Spirit and Matter would be resolved, the Resurrected Christ (self-described as the Morning Star or Lucifer) would no longer be seen as external and the contents of the unconscious would be open to examination by the conscious mind.

There are numerous symbolic indicators of this process within the Christian scriptures if you are so inclined to explore this avenue further. Suffice it to say, this Great Shift is a consistent theme found throughout many religious and spiritual traditions around the world, not to mention relevant celestial phenomenon.

The Hindu tradition also teaches that there is a large cycle broken up into smaller sections. The Hindu version of the Great Year is called the Maha Yuga. In that system, the final Great Month before the end of the Maha Yuga is attributed to the goddess of chaos and destruction, Kali. If you have encountered this before, you may know that we are said to be currently in this “Kali Yuga” which culminates in the end of the world as we know it, followed by a new “Golden Age” of sorts. The actual timeline is in dispute but some individuals have understandably connected this idea to the end of the Mayan Long Count calendar at December 21, 2012 CE.

In the modern occult community one of the influential historical figures is Aleister Crowley (1875-1947 CE). He founded the religion of Thelema which describes a series of eras in human development referred to as Aeons. The Aeons spoken of by Crowley included that of the Egyptian gods Isis, Osiris and finally Horus. According to the Thelemic religion, we are currently in the Aeon of Horus which began March 20th, 1904 CE.

While this is more than a century earlier than the 2012 date we have been discussing, it still deserves mentioning for a couple of reasons. The first is that many, including Crowley himself, made the connection between the concept of the Thelemic Aeons and the Precession of the Equinoxes. It is explicitly tied to the idea of the New Age of Aquarius in many people’s minds. Also, since Crowley declared himself to be the “prophet” of the new Aeon of Horus, he had a vested interest in placing the start date during his lifetime.

His concept of the New Aeon went on to influence a new generation of occultists. Since then, several others have declared the beginning of other new Aeons based on Egyptian dieties. These include the Aeon of Ma’at and the Aeon of Set. Some have put forward the idea that more than one Aeon can exist simultaneously. Others maintain that one Aeon gives way to the next. Either way, many modern occultists have become aware of the concept through this route.

It is also significant that the year 2012 CE also marked the last Transit of Venus of the 21st Century. This event is similar to a Solar Eclipse but is a significantly more rare and subtle phenomenon. During a Solar Eclipse the view of the Sun is obscured temporarily when the Moon passes directly between the Sun and the Earth. During the Transit of Venus the planet Venus passes directly between the Sun and the Earth, casting a very small shadow. This would not be noticeable to a casual observer with the naked eye, but can be easily detected by those in the know using rudimentary equipment. The Transit of Venus happens twice, with eight years between each occurrence and then does not happen again for over a century. The next instance isn’t scheduled to occur again until December of the year 2117 CE.

The planet Venus is especially significant as it is the “Morning Star” alluded to earlier. The last bright object in the sky before the Sun rises is actually the planet Venus. It symbolically heralds the rising of the Sun and in this way can be associated with the Latin word “Lucifer”, literally meaning “Bringer of the Light.” The planet Venus is also the first bright object to appear in the sky when the Sun sets in the evening. This is referred to as the “Evening Star” and can be thought of as the Bringer of Night. In the New Luciferian Era both aspects are recognized as important.

The Evening Star as the “Bringer of Night” is represented as Darkness. Darkness is symbolic of our primal and unconscious desire and instincts inherent in every living individual; this ‘shadow’ is primary to providing the foundation for our conscious drive as productive members of society and successful individuals. Luciferians find knowledge, strength and power in the restful and equally inspiring darkness.

The Morning Star as the “Bringer of Light” is the invigorating and disciplined consciousness of our rational minds; we gain insight via experience and applying knowledge towards attaining short and long term goals in this life now. We seek to establish balance between the primal darkness and the inner torch of divine consciousness. This “divine consciousness” is symbolized as the “Black Flame” or “Black Light”; Luciferians use discipline and insight to control and guide our instincts and drives within a productive manner with respect to the individual and the community in which we exist.

Luciferians primarily travel a Left Hand Path, which is actually The Complete Path as it values works of Light as well as the courageous exploration of the Darkness. On a personal level it is important to recognize and integrate your whole being. Understanding your own Shadow and dedicating all aspects of yourself toward achieving your goals will lead toward the manifestation of the Complete Harmonized Self. This unlocks even greater levels of awareness and personal power.

What can we expect in the New Luciferian Era? The NLE marks the dawning of an unprecedented level of scientific discovery, personal insight and self-determination available to every human on the planet and beyond. We will no longer be subjugated by superstitious systems of guilt, shame and fear set up for the benefit of the few. We will each rise up and take control of our own personal destinies. The way it plays out is up to each of us and how we wish to shape the course of history. We will become as literal gods; Masters of the multiverse with infinite potential.

The future is ours! Stand up and make your mark on the world to take your place among the immortals of myth and legend! This is the New Luciferian Era and you are Lucifer!

Artwork of the Damned

They will not submit.
Poem by Domination Republic

They will not submit.

Our beliefs, values, traditions,
differ to such an extent,
that orders came in,
from the leader,
to make them submit.

The populace,
armed freely with weapons,
will be the target.
There are no innocents in total war.
All done to make them submit.

I will sit in security,
as safe as an infant in mother's arms.
And when the bodies pile,
hopefully it's a sign,
for them to finally submit.

And when they do not,
for our ideas differ too greatly,
I will turn to my flag and say,
“I Pledge Allegiance to the flag,
of the United States of America.”

"Formation of Light and Dark"
16x20 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

(Close Up)

The Fall of Lucifer, Chapter I: God's Will
Short Story by The Stalker

Lucifer looked out the window to the sweeping stretches of Heaven before him, that seemed to go on forever. Searching it's beauty in hopes to quell the growing tension he felt within. He had ducked into a small side room of God's Palace after hearing God's announcement. His mind racing, he exhaled slowly causing the window to freeze at the hint of his icy breath. Suddenly as if manifested by his frantic mind, Belial burst into the room with a furry.

"Lucifer, here you are! It's crazy out there, angels arguing with angels turning on one another. How can God do this to us? This will only lead to our destruction." Belial sputtered quite out of his normally graceful composure.

"Well, it's God's will, and God's will shall be done." Replied Lucifer simply.

"Bow to man, or get tossed into the lake of fire?? That would destroy any angel who refuses, how is that fair? How is that just?" questioned Belial, Lucifer start to speak, but Belial continued, "What about the poor Leviathan? Do you expect him to bow before man? Did God not make him master of the seas and with a strong desire to feed upon said man. Pshh" Belial moaned on.

"I don't like it, but it's God. What can we really do?" Said Lucifer hopelessly.

"You must talk to God, Lucifer, your their favorite the strongest angel and most beloved by God." praised Belial.
"God has a new favorite son now, and it is mankind." Lucifer retorted trying to keep the sorrow out of his voice.

Belial persisted, "There are a lot of angels out there who will be looking to you for leadership, we must save our brothers from this damnation. Please Lucifer. You're the only on God might listen to."

Lucifer sighed, then nodded slowly an said, "Very well Belial, I shall try."

The two got up and exited the room, entering the grand hall to an anarchic scene Lucifer had never seen in Heaven before. Hundreds of angels shouting at one another, floating and entangled in such a disorganized manager, several more angels coming and going into the over packed chamber. Off in the distance Lucifer spotted Gabriel at the edge of the fray, silently watching on in horror at the scene unfolding before them. As Lucifer tried to make his way through the chaos heading to God's throne room he came upon Raphael deep in a fierce argument with Beelzebub and Baal.

"And who are you to defy God?" snarled Raphael, "You're lucky to have ever been angels, it's time we healed Heaven of such darkness as you two have rot!! Stand with God or be thrown to the Lake of Fire!"

"Yea? That so little one? Who's gonna make us? You?" Laughed Beelzebub snidely as Baal stood to his left smirking.

"Please brothers, let us not fight, we must come together now more than ever," chirped in Belial over Lucifer's shoulder. Then from out of the crowd appeared Michael the second strongest angel in creation, he approached the squabble confidently and the two quickly drop their smiles before him.

"I will," uttered Michael in a resounding voice, the room went quiet as the other angels look on. "I will cast down any angels who doesn't follow God's will. There is no discussion here, only obedience." Beelzebub and Baal look over to Lucifer expectantly, then back to Michael fearfully. The two turn to leave as Baal mutters under his breath something vulgar. "What was that?" roared Michael taking a stance as if to strike them down.

Lucifer swiftly intervenes between them placing his hand on Michael's shoulder, "Please Michael, they are still our brothers."

Michael turns to Lucifer dismissing Beelzebub and Baal as they slink away into the crowd. "I will never understand why you choose to defend them" said Michael in a claimer voice, he went on, "The archangels are gathering to discuss this matter, I expect I'll see you there." Lucifer nods.

Belial speaks up, "What about the rest of us, do our opinions mean nothing?" Michael and Raphael turn to leave ignoring Belial comment as if they hadn't heard it. Belial looks over at Lucifer, "See what we're up against here?" Lucifer remained silent. Belial spoke again, "We must begin organizing our people too if we're to have any hope, go speak with God, i'll get our people together." Belial looks around the room for a moment longer then leaves to go make arrangements.

Lucifer proceeded on alone finally make his way to God's chambers. With bated breath he entered.

To Be Continued...

We hope you've enjoyed our fifth issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

by **Land filled with People** » Mon Apr 27, 2015 8:45 pm

Another great update

I look forward the the next issue!

by **The Stalker** » Sun May 31, 2015 10:29 am

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

May 31st, 2015
Issue VI. For Whom the Bell Tolls

Index
I. Easter Eggs, part 1
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. THE BLACK RIDERS HAVE DIED AND GONE TO HELL!
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. BOOK OF BAPHOMET PART I: COFFIN NAILS

Easter Eggs, part 1
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

Let me start this series on Easter Eggs with a few observations. First, following my advice in this series of articles on EEs will not guarantee you get the EEs in question. It’s more often like a hunting license or going fishing: you may follow my suggestions and get what you’re looking for immediately, or it might take a long time, or it may never happen at all. Second, except as noted, most EEs don’t have profound effects. They are a mini-game-within-a-game using detective work, networking with those in the know, and often a bit of luck. Third, no one outside of the powers-that-be knows for certain all the nuances of every EE. Wherever I’m uncertain, I solicit your feedback. Fourth, there is a fair amount of confusion and sometimes outright wrong information in the game and on the internet about EEs, so I will depend more on my personal observations than what other people are saying.
As of this writing, I know about 8 EEs, but I’ve never achieved all of them with one nation and one of them I’ve never personally had in some 11 years with dozens of nations actively answering issues. So let the reader beware. 

Let’s start with the two easiest ones:

#078: Easter Egg: Should We Pull The Lever?

Trigger: have "Holy" in your pretitle.

The Issue
During the middle of the night, someone has mysteriously put a lever in the middle of the city park. On it, it says, "Pull the Lever, And See The World End."

The Debate

1. "I've always wanted to see the apocalypse." says an elderly man on a park bench. "All that fire and brimstone. To see God's wrath. Something I can tell my grandchildren about later on. I say we should."

2. "Not on your life!" says his wife sitting next to him. "If you pull that lever, we'll have no grandchildren, no life, only heaven and hell. Don't you dare pull that lever."

3. "Now, don't think of it as a do/don't option," says a hot dog vendor. "What if we give tours so that people can see the lever? Not to touch it of course, but to see that humanity can be ruined by such a contraption. We can make a profit."

Observations: This is perhaps the most benign of the EEs. Nothing of profound consequence happens with any of the three. You get an avalanche of sweet, furry kittens if you choose option 1, you get a “brand new industry” if you choose option 3. It’s been a long time since I chose option 2, but I recall it was nothing Earth-shattering.

Recommendation: Choose option 3 on the slight chance it may enhance your tourism industry.

#215: Easter Egg: What's Your Favourite Colour?

Trigger: have a colour in your pretitle .

The Issue
During a national press conference, a little girl with ribbons in her hair asks you what your favourite colour is. Your panicked advisors have frantically called an emergency conference to come up with possible answers.

The Debate

1. "Tell her it's red," says Peggy Trax, sharing out the meeting's doughnut tray. "It'll show them that our nation has nowt to do with money grabbing capitalists."

2. "Tell her it's blue," says Bianca O'Bannon, who inexplicably appears to be sitting in a tin bath and playing with a rubber duck. "Blue like the open ocean - it will show our devotion to all things marine. Quack."

3. "Tell her it's yellow," says Samuel Chicago, embracing you warmly and giving you a soppy kiss. "It is such a shining, bright, happy colour. It will fill your citizens with such joy to hear it is your favourite."

4. "Tell her it's green," advises Roxanne Bush, while caressing what appears to be a cabbage. "It'll draw attention to your benevolent environmental policy!"

5. "Tell her it's orange," advises Jean-Paul Dodinas, running a lap around the conference room. "Such a vibrant colour I've always felt! I'm sure if officially approved it will put some vim and vigour in the people!"

6. "Tell her it's purple," advises Roger Jefferson, relishing his own gourmet doughnut sprinkled with shredded truffles. "It speaks of the finer things in life, of luxury, and shows you as a man of distinction. Not like the riff-raff you see around these days..."

7. "Tell her it's pink," advises Thomas Broadside, your premier expert on all things gay. "It will send a message that we here in MyNation are not prejudiced against homosexuals and accept them with open arms."

8. "Tell her it's gold," advises Abraham Wall, hands rubbing together in avaricious delight. "Give the people a hint that you'll be focusing on the economy!"

9. "Tell her it's black," says Jennifer Hanover, ripping up pictures of kittens and scowling. "Black like the eternal emptiness of our withered, stilted, and twisted souls."

10. "Tell her it's white," advises Lars Johnson, reclining in the lotus position. "It is a pure, peaceful colour, befitting the moral stance your government should embrace!"

11. "Tell her it's grey," advises Bianca Winters, who is decidedly nondescript. "It's nice and neutral, won't upset anyone. Speaks of proper military bearing and protocol. People will like that."

12. "Tell her you don't have a favourite colour," says Konrad Falopian, the president of Open Our Perimeters Straightaway, on walking in. "MyNation is a modern country that does not discriminate between colours. We should allow everyone whether they be Bigtopian, Lilliputian, or Maxtopian into our bountiful nation."

Observations: While some people swear it has multiple measurable effects for each colour, I am only certain that option 1, red, will seriously damage your Economy. If that’s something you want, go for it, but I’m guessing a large majority of players will want to avoid such. Note you have to have a population of 500 million to change your pretitle, so brand new nations will have to wait a few months before they can get these.. You can do them at the same time, like “The Holy Purple Squid of MyNation.” These two EEs are the closest thing to a sure bet, either or both of them will generally pop up within your Issues box within a week or so, perhaps as quickly as the next update.

Recommendation: Do not choose option 1 unless you want to lower your Economy. Otherwise follow the lead implied by the colours, i.e., green nations may want to choose option 4, cultured nations may want to choose 6, LGBTQ-friendly nations may want to choose option 7, etc. There may be some tiny benefit associated with these choices, but don’t expect any immediate or drastic changes except for option 1.

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

Hippy Haven elects new WA Delegate!
Congratulations to NovaTora having been elected the new WA Delegate of Hippy Haven after the former delegate Hicdarr recently stepped down after over 2 years of dedicated service as the regional Delegate.

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Fredd,
I've got 6 chickens, 6 pounds of carrots and 6 pounds of potatoes. Is there anything demonic I can do with those?

Wannabe Satanist

Wannabe
Not sure about demonic, but you have the makings of a WICKED stew. (Thank you. Thank you. I'll be performing in the Red Room all week.)

Fredd
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Fred,
I am sure you need questions for your segment in the paper, so i guess you're the one to ask. I can't decide if i should pursue a career in the music industry or to become a business lawyer. I currently have 2 years left on my contract in the army, but anything could happen and i could get booted out. I am a good vocalist/bassist/guitarist with connections, but i hear even so it is extremely hard to attain success in such a field. If i choose to go lawyer, i have to start preparing before i lose my GI Bill and Tuition Assisstance. What advice do you have?

-Unsure future

Unsure,
Can you do both? I know a fella who graduated with a double major in chemistry and music. He develops explosives during the week and plays in a jazz band on the weekends. Like you said, making money playing music is hard to do. Making money as an attorney is a little easier… once you get thru all of the schooling. If you decide to follow the music route, hook up with other talented musicians if you can. Probably increases your chances. Good luck.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

THE BLACK RIDERS HAVE DIED AND GONE TO HELL!
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

Well, not really. Few weeks ago, their Founder was DEATed for using illegal scripts. Did the major Defender groups get together and say, “Now is the time to strike”? Apparently not. Did a competing Raider group salivate over hanging the scalp of TBR over their mantelpiece as the ultimate raid? Not as far as I can see. My understanding is that there was a spontaneous outpouring of righteous rage from the common people in the many hundreds of regions TBR have raided. They quickly settled on UnitedGermanRegions as their point man and within a very short period of time overwhelmed TBR. So far, UGR has done very little beyond what a tag raid would do, delete the embassies, change the tags, change the RMB, etc. But he’s also ejected a few loyalists, which implies he’s settling in for the long haul. I’ll leave it to others to give more nuanced accounts, but I believe what I’ve written is correct from an outsider’s perspective. What can we learn from this debacle/glorious gift?

KARMA IS A BITCH.

FOUNDERS SHOULD KEEP THEIR NOSES CLEAN.
Seriously—the position is far too important to monkey around with. Don’t mess with illegal scripts, multy (have multiple WA nations), tell off trolls, etc. Don’t even use one of your own clones, as the Mods generally can tell who is who. If you feel something is important enough to risk the wrath of the Mods, leave it to one of your lieutenants to be your fall guy.

KEEP THE FOUNDER SECURE
99% of the time this means never sharing the password of the Founder with ANYONE else; if you do, it exponentially increases the risks to the account and to the region. The major exception to this is if you, the Founder, are losing interest in the region and/or NS, giving the Founder account to someone trustworthy AND STABLE to insure the security of the region. The new Founder should as the first action CHANGE THE PASSWORD. S/He should be the ONLY one to know it. I know of a region that was left Founderless when their Founder CTEd without giving anyone his password. When the members refounded, they made the Founder an elected position with the requirement that a particular second officer, presumed to be trustworthy, should also know the Founder’s PW in case the Founder CTEd or were to act erratically or counter to the interests of the region, etc. This has worked well for them for 6 years with the exception of the time that the “trustworthy” second officer seized the Founder and changed the password because he was ticked off at the person of the real Founder. Eventually, the usurper felt guilty about what he’d done, changed the password back, and thereafter left the region in shame. The region dodged a potentially lethal bullet, but it did not have to be so. They were lucky.

I hope it goes without saying that the person of the Founder should not leave his/her computer/tablet/phone or other device used for playing NS logged into the Founder’s account unattended. If you are in a public place, say a computer lab at college, and need to leave for a minute to go to the bathroom or to get a drink, take the few extra seconds to log out before you leave. The same goes if you’re still living at home and have to share your computer with one or more siblings or if you’re in a dormitory room and your roommate could potentially make mischief for you. Also, do not store the Founder’s PW on the device, especially if you routinely share your computer with anyone else; nor should it be written down anywhere close to the computer or easy to find.

KEEP THE WA DELEGATE NON-EXECUTIVE
I don’t expect n00bs to understand this issue at the beginning, but I’m always a little incredulous when I come across a mature region with established players who have an executive WA.
“X is my best friend and deserves an executive position.”
“Y is a democratic region and having a Founder is undemocratic, so we’re just going with the WAD.”
“I’m both the Founder and the WA Delegate and sometimes I just don’t feel like switching.”
These statements betray a lack of appreciation that NS is a political simulation game and not the real world. As such, you play the parameters the game gives you. Having a monarch with absolute power may not be democratic, but (with a non-executive WAD) it is your best defense against being raided. Is it potentially possible that a Founder will turn evil and destroy a region? Of course—it has happened. However, you are vastly more at risk of Raiders destroying your region than a Founder going rogue.

KEEP THE FOUNDER ACTIVE AND IN THE REGION
Raiders are becoming increasingly sophisticated and WILL notice if your Founder has not logged in for ten days or more, particularly if the Founder is alive, but in another region, in which case the game automatically reverts the region to having an executive WA. I currently am the Founder of two regions, but I generally log into both accounts every day (usually twice or more per day). Both regions have their own leader, and that leader almost never leaves the region. I f you found two or more regions with the same nation, you are doing the natives of those regions a huge disservice.

REFOUNDING IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
Plenty of regions have refounded and done just fine, including Nazi Europe/Nazi Europa, Hippiedom/Hippy Haven, and Atheist Empire/The Atheist Empire. In my humble opinion, all user-created regions (UCrs) should have a Founder. Your members may have a sentimental attachment to the old name, but a Founderless region is not worth fighting over, especially if Raiders have noticed and come calling (hint: they’ll be back).

--Dr George

Artwork of the Damned
"Discordia"
20x20 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

BOOK OF BAPHOMET PART I: COFFIN NAILS
Article by, Theistic Luciferia
I.
Through all the ages, many bizarre and unusual practices have been employed into the burial and funeral rites for the deceased. The Egyptians built pyramids for the royal mummies resting place. Some people choose cremation and then store the ashes in a urn. In Mexico, sugar skulls are distributed upon the feast of the dead, each bearing the name of the receiver. Their purpose is to familiarize the receiver with the idea of death. In New Orleans, a jazz band accompanies the recently deceased to the cemetery playing a requiem of mournful music and after the burial, changes tempo to an upbeat, light-hearted rhythm. Death is still the truly great unknown and both fascinates and frightens us all. It is the ultimate goal of a black magickian.

The most common burials place the deceased in a coffin made out of anything from a plain pine box to caskets covered and decorated with satin, velvet or other flashy material. By natural association, nails that have been taken from a coffin, and then used in a magickal evil spell, have been alleged to be more powerful than those using a new nail or pin. The concept is that whatever caused the death of the person from which the coffin nail has been taken will transfer itself by contagious magick, and cause harm to the recipient of the spell. Any evil spell is said to gain potency when coffin nails are used in place of the generally prescribed pin.

A Malison charm designed to bring sickness and ill health to a victim calls for 1/2 lb. of melted wax, and a bit of hair of fragment of clothing belonging to the enemy. If clothing is used, cut or tear it into multiple tiny pieces... Then mold the wax and cloth, or hair into an image of the person to whom the harm is intended. After the doll is ready, take a coffin nail and prick it multiple times, repeating "It is the heart that i prick, it is the liver that i prick, it is the spleen that i prick, it is the brain that i prick". The ritual is repeated each evening for three consecutive nights. After that time wait nine days. If the victim is still unaffected, the caster must try a different spell. Reason being, the victim has been protected by counter magick or another form of witchcraft.

In Africa, an image is made of an enemy and held in readiness. Whenever one feels threatened by the enemy, a nail is wedged into the image and this protects from any evil intended by the foe.
A modern spell to cause an enemy to go mad is done with a voodoo doll, a coffin nail, and black arts oil. The doll should be carefully labeled with the foe's name. On the first evening of a full moon, place a coffin nail in a bottle of black arts oil, or pour some oil into any small container and place the nail in so it is fully covered and can soak well. Leave the nail saturated for nine nights and on the tenth night, pound the nail into the dolls head. It is alleged that before the next full moon's rising, the victim will be cursed with severe headaches, faulty memory, and deep depression.

If you wish to cause an enemy to move away from you, an almost unfailing ritual can be performed with nine coffin nails, some graveyard dirt, and a crossing powder mixed with a get away powder. Mix together the dirt and the two powders so that it is thoroughly blended. The proportions are not important, but a 1 to 1 ratio is best so as not to have one overpower the other. Distribute the potion into nine approximately equal portions and save them in an envelope with one of the coffin nails. Each evening, go to the enemy's home and disperse the contents of one envelope in the path where the foe must travel to enter or leave the home. Do this each evening for nine consecutive nights and by the tenth day, the enemy should be moving from the premises.

Another modern spell which is designed to bring tragedy to an enemy is made with a piece of wearing apparel from the intended victim. Take the clothing and cut it up into as many pieces as you wish or can get from the material. Use one piece each night, write the foe's name on a piece of parchment backwards and state your curse on the other side of the paper. The curse can be said in your own way, or it can be something simple like "name is cursed" or "name is damned forevermore". The writing should be with Dragon's Blood Ink and to which a drop of black arts oil and a pinch of valerian has been added. Then fold the square up turning the folds away from yourself, never towards yourself. Take the folded clothing with the curse inside and nail it on your enemy's front door using a coffin nail. Do this each night until your mission has been accomplished.

To protect yourself from all dangers, carry a coffin nail in your pocket in a case or pouch of some kind, or wrapped in brown silk. As long as this is in your pocket, no one can successfully perform any vengeful spell against you.

Another protective use for coffin nails is to have one always soaking in a bath of oil or salts which you use. Or try tying the nail in a dark colored handkerchief or any small cloth. Then place in the tub when you run the hot water. After the bath is full, take the nail and keep it for re-use each time you bathe. Many evil forces can be washed away by this method of using coffin nails.

Whether you use coffin nails for good or evil, please keep in mind that the ledger given is taken from various occult sources and are given as curiosa only. No guarantees are made, or supernatural claims intended. Any results obtained from the use of any ritual related is the sole responsibility of the magickian and unless one is willing to accept this obligation, one should not attempt magickal means for solving ones vexations.

-Baphomet

We hope you've enjoyed our sixth issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

by **Zenya** » Sun May 31, 2015 11:47 am

Very nice! :clap:

by **The Stalker** » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:08 pm

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

June 28th, 2015
Issue VII. Ghost Riders in the Sky

Index
I. Interview with Ever-Wandering Souls
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Easter Eggs, Part 2
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. BOOK OF BAPHOMET II: Kaosofi pt. I

Interview with Ever-Wandering Souls
Interviewed by, The Stalker

1. When did you begin your raiding career? And what was your first major raid?

Depending on how you interpret “my raiding career,” I started either in TEK or The Brotherhood of Malice. More specifically, my active involvement in Gameplay began in The Eternal Knights, and my career as a raider solidified in BoM. The first major raid I participated in would be the LWU raid on Hogwarts, under a BoM flag. Well, I actually flew a Death Eater flag on my nation

The first major raid I led that comes to mind is Islam – I infiltrated, held point, and set the first (actually failed) trigger. Defenders showed up, but since no one was ejected, some of my buddies knocked me into the seat while I was away next minor. Not a clean raid, but a fun one. That was where I really started my personal mark of themed raid WFE’s!

2. Who do you consider to be your raider mentor? And what was the most important thing they've taught you?

It’s near impossible to pick one name for that. Venico was the one who turned me to raiding – leaving TEK, I was most enthralled by him and Shiz. One from each side of the line… and Venico brought me to BoM, and showed me the best side of the Raider community. When BoM went dormant for a while, I moved on, and eventually landed in TBH, where Jakker has been absolutely amazing in working with me and others on leadership skills and the ilk. With the revival of BoM, I rejoined the community, and that whole region has been a great example to be of the friendships and community Raiding can breed. And honestly, Neph deserves a bone as well – if nothing else, he taught me how to experiment a bit, make my way on my own, and try things that others deem impossible – if not on the same scale as him xD Together, the most important thing I’ve learned from them is simple: Have fun. This is a game, at the end of the day, and if you’re not having fun playing it, there’s no reason for you to be around here much longer. The expansive community of the Brotherhood, the whole mojo of TBH, and the leadership I’ve been on the receiving end of have all emphasized that fact, and I’ve tried to carry down into everything I do.

3. What was your favorite raid in your career so far and why?

As a participant, that would likely be the raid on Equestria. I still have a few quotes from that particular raid in my sig… Basically, the natives said “screw it, all they’ve done is changed out WFE and brought a few buddies, rather than pitch a fit let’s just talk to them like any other visitor” – and we threw a giant party. The natives were even more aggressive than us in telling off random other nations coming to “help” by spamming and insulting the invading force. It was fun all around, we shared music and chatted a bunch, and everyone left happy. Those kind of raids can’t happen often – the ones where we eject everyone inevitably turn a bit more sour - but it was a nice change of pace to have, and I’d love to see another one or two like that in my time here.

As a leader of, that’s a whole ‘nother story. There, I’d say the raid on The Black Riders. Depending on how quick you get this to the presses, the readers may or may not have heard by now – TBR is under raider control, and has been for 39 days at time of writing – that’s right, folks, I’m Harenhime. Storytime! The whole thing started off in a very unorganized manner. Following the fall of the region, many of us had placed puppets in various places, namely their budding intel department, for the hell of it. Slowly, we started to gather together those people. I was added to a chat with two or three of us in it, which over the months grew to 13 as we added anybody we trusted who physically had a nation in TBR. At first, it was just screwing around – chuckling at the efforts to organize, wreaking small measures of havoc with false information and my inciting arguments, just generally screwing with the mob that had invaded the region. That all changed when ~~the fire nations attacked~~ UGR abruptly resigned and Pont took the seat (and went completely wild in it). I was in the right place at the right time – rising through the intel department, I’d just done a detailed background check on Pont in which I’d labelled him unstable, untrustworthy, and unfit for government service, all backed up with detailed posting records, mostly from old RMB posts. It was being discussed by the government when he went rouge, which looked really good on me - I’d effectively “called it.” Things went better from there – I moved to TBR from my cover region, The Insane Region (original leaders of the capture of TBR), soon before Pont ejected all other former government members – leaving me completely legitimately the highest ranking member of the pre-Pont gov’t left in the region, and making me the natural center of the effort to recover it. That was a wild night – Cormac and Ivo also vying for the seat, UGR came back, I was ejected buy not banned and came back… but somehow, by one or two endos, I ended the update in the delegate seat. That was when we knew we had gold on our hands – the timing and nature of the op was perfect for a future RaiderCon publicity event, as well. From there, we started bringing in puppets. We were too late to control the forums, so we made sure none were officially adopted. We picked the proposed constitution we liked the best for our purposes, and rigged the elections in its favor. We rigged the elections for ministerial offices to push our people into every office but Prime Minister, put the “legitimate” members of the region into lower offices, and made the PM race a screwy mess. Unfortunately, Llamas went poof and never claimed his seat, so we had to give it to Glaurung, but he was angled into resigning soon enough, in the special election we rigged our man into office there as well. This was all bonus points – we had the delegate, and adopted a constitution that made my position permanent, but the opportunity for more was just…there. So we took it. And it’s been amazing. I’ve spent two months working with people I knew well and people I’d just met, from almost every raider region, on an op where every possible thing ended up going the best, luckiest, and most perfect way for us possible. It’s the largest infiltration I’ve ever seen, and contained people of all walks of experience – from young raiders Sci and Reddog, to Raider Hall of Fame judge Avakael, flying under a freaking Unknown flag! This operation has been, in my opinion, my best to date, and stealth-wise, on an order of magnitude far above anything else we’ve seen recently. And on top of it all, I actually liked a few of the people there – the most successful cover identities rely on as few lies as possible, aka putting a piece of yourself, your daily life, into them. The downside of this is a certain level of connection with the residents. While there certainly *are* a few I will take pleasure in banjecting, there are also members (like Island, or AA) that I hope remain civil in the coming days, avoid rash actions, and maybe even consider joining us – TBH has a history of getting recruits from raided regions, after all!

As a footnote, if anyone has any questions for me or the others involved, ask away, we’d love to answer - this is the short version, believe it or not

4. What do you think of Hell's defenses? Are we safe from raids within the fortress we've constructed?

I think your defenses are impeccably planned. Yes, I’ve taken a look before

The fruit that’s hardest to reach is the sweetest, after all. The system of nation remaining WA in underworld for about a month before entering is enough to deter all but the most hardcore of sleepers, and I’ve seen that when you admit newcomers, the Password is changed a few minutes before the region update – I’d wager that you don’t reveal it until directly after the prior update. That makes a single sleeper backed by an update team impossible, unless you slipped, or miscalculated influence somehow. It’s truly a model I recommend, and have recommended in the past, to any founderless region that truly wants to be secure. That said, I believe that any team of enough size, coordination, and determination can breach any level of defenses that allows nations through in some way – it would merely take resources on a scale where the question becomes, is it worth it? Even if the seat was taken, the ancient nations there would be a pain to eject, and the world and the SC would flock to your aid. Several of our larger non-raider allies would not assist on the operation due to it being a destructive operation on a roleplay region, which would mean a much more reachable pile. The chances of success in total destruction are slim at best. To conclude, I’d probably say you are the safest founderless region that allows some form of regular entry – but no founderless region is ever truly safe. But you understand that, obviously, otherwise your strict methodology would have slipped by now.

5. What are your thoughts on RaiderCon?

I’ve had the privilege to help build it nearly every step of the way, from a glimmer in Jakker’s eye to starting in less than a week. I may be biased as such, but I think it’s a beautiful event! It may be called RaiderCon, but all walks of gameplay are invited. The common members fall under two masks (Defenders get a Fenda mask, all others get an Attendee mask), but not for reasons of raw discrimination – we’ve set up exclusive areas for each side, both for some more private chatting and for the purposes of the earlier steps of organizing some of our Gameplay Update Games. All actual secure material will take place offsite (skype for us, presumably IRC for defenders), but the idea is to allow basic planning to take place in at least a partially secure environment. We’re getting ready to induct the first ever Raider Hall of Fame, and are trying to assemble a hall of history from various regions and records. There as tons of special guest speakers and panels, covering all walks of raiding. I really encourage anyone, whether or not they are a raider or active in GP at all, to come swing by if they want to have fun and learn a little about the history of Raiding. There are feature events every day (July 1st through 7th, the 2nd being TBH’s 10th anniversary!) plus ongoing general chats, spam games, a dedicated IRC channel, and an RMB to gather and chat on while trying your hand at piling on a real life raider operation

Is it too much to say sign up now at http://s15.zetaboards.com/RaiderCon/index/ ?

Shameless plus, yes, but entirely truthful. We really hope for a good turnout and lots of fun – after all, fun is what we’re all about!

6. With The Black Riders fallen, who do you see as the next raider super power, Den or The Black Hawks? What do you see for the future of Raiders?

Right now, there’s an interesting moment going on in Raiding. A large portion of TBR’s power came from its ability to hold a large occupation entirely on its own forces while continually tagging. With the burning out of several prominent taggers, and the current recruitment ban, both of those have been hindered. It will be interesting to see how DEN shows once they can recruit a steady stream of new players, and whether that methodology will be as effective without the Lord of the Rings theme and character-based recruiter nations (as well as a legal rate of recruitment). It’s given other orgs, like TBH, a chance to step up (which believe me, we’re trying to

). Orgs like BoM and LWU remain relevant, but not as active, due to what I see as the downside of our strong unity – a lot of the region Unity is so effective is because most Raiders are members of most Raider orgs. The downside of that comes in the fact that these less mainstream regions, while perhaps put first for chilling or chatting in, aren’t put first when it comes time to plan or act on raids. I myself am fully guilty – I’m a Hawk through and through, but I stick around in BoM for the community. Not that there’s anything wrong with being in a region for the community, just that it makes effective military action more difficult, especially with the rise in and activity from defenders over the last few months. The other worry I see has to do with recruitment – I came into GP in a large batch of folks that stuck around – Me, Shad, Val, Trick, Sap, and many more. Since then, there’s only been a few that have stuck around, and not nearly as long. I’m not sure historically which is the fluke – our generation, or the lack of a subsequent one to date – but either way, we’ve been trying to get more people into it. The Hawks, besides trying to spread fun of course, and this effort now to make Raiding accessible to all with the Con, are rewriting our own intro procedures to try and up the number of people who make it beyond the region and RMB and into actually raiding. People need to be less a number and more a person to be welcomed, if we want to up our numbers. In the end, I’m not sure if the Hawks or Den will “come out on top’” but I’m also not sure if it matters. Either way, we will continue as we did before – doing our own things. The reason multiple raiding orgs exist isn’t just because a lot of people want to be in charge – each has its own distinct personality that attracts its own crowd the strongest. That differentiates us, and the principles of Unity and our common goal of raiding is what ties us together a Raiders – hopefully into a future of growth, fun, and continuing destruction >:)

Closing Remarks – Hell’s Bells is my favorite publication on NS these days, and likely will be uncontested until Todd gets to writing again

Stay quirky down there, folks, and let it be known – the PC I’m building next week is named Andromalius, which might be a bit familiar to y’all.

Thanks for the interview, and sorry if I got a bit carried away there. My tg box is always open if you want to contact me!

- Ever-Wandering Souls

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

The Rejected Realms elects new WA Delegate!
Congratulations to Guy having been elected the new WA Delegate of The Rejected Realms!

Hell opens embassies with Lazarus!
Hellions were pleased to recently open embassies with Lazarus, making it the second Game Created Region to open embassies with Hell.

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,
Do you believe in Ghosts?? I'm pretty sure my house is haunted! Sometimes the curtains and objects move by themselves, and I hear voices telling me to get out. I tried calling ghost busters but no one answered because apparently they're not real. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Afraid

Afraid,
Are you sure you're not channeling a movie? Cause that sounds like the 'Amityville Horror' movie. Reminds me of a comedy skit I saw one time. This black comedian was saying “You want to know the difference between white people and black people? Black people hear a voice tell 'em “GET OUT!!”, they'll be gone before the “OUT” is finished.”
Anyway, no, I don't believe in ghosts. You sure you're not poppin' a few too many mushrooms?
No? Ok. The way I see it, you have a couple of options. You could hire a priest/witch doctor/shaman of your choice to exorcize the spirit. Never works in the movies, but worth a shot. Or you could ignore it and see if it goes away. Of course, if it really is a ghost, it might start writing messages on the wall in blood or possessing some of your roommates. Which would make it time for option 3. Which is get the hell out. Or burn the place down. Either one is good.

Fredd
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Dear Fredd
Do you know how to open the third eye?

-Third Eye Blind

3EB,
You sure you wouldn't rather hear about the 3rd leg? I know a lot more about the operation of one of those than I do the third eye. No? Bummer. I have some great home movies… Third eye. Hmmm. Nope. Can't help you. I'm a concrete, spear and mammoth kind of guy. Esoteric stuff is beyond me. Good luck.

Fredd
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Freddo,
How often should I change my underwear?

Confused

Confused,
Ahh, the age old question. There are several schools of thought. Hygiene extremists and women seem to believe everyday is best. At the other end of the spectrum are those that only change their underwear when a hazmat team steals it or it crawls away on it's own. Then there's the commando group which dispenses with underwear all together. I'm a moderate myself. I think wearing it as designed on Monday, backwards on Tuesday, turn it inside out and repeat on Wed and Thurs is a good compromise. Then a 2nd pair for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. If you have a standard Hanes 6 pack, you only have to wash underwear once or twice a month.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Easter Eggs, Part 2
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

#223: Easter Egg: Zombie Attack!

The Issue
The dead are rising from their graves to feast on the flesh of the living! Currently, only Capital City has been affected. An immediate quarantine has been placed on the city, but with time running out for the survivors an emergency meeting has been called to decide what to do.

The Debate

1. “You have to destroy the city!” gasps Charles Longfellow, one of the few who escaped before the quarantine. “It’s hell in there! If those things manage to escape then the whole country, nay the whole WORLD is doomed! We must send our biggest bombs into those streets and wipe them out!”

2. “No, there are people in there who need our help,” says Roxanne Clinton, armed with a Winchester rifle. “We can’t leave them to the mercy of the undead hordes. I say before we blow anything up we call in the army and anyone else willing to help, go in, track down any survivors we can find, and get them out. It’s dangerous, but it’s got to be done.”

3. “I think we should study these creatures,” muses Professor Zeke Wall, expert in biological warfare. “Zombiism? Reanimated dead tissue? Fascinating! This is a golden opportunity for our nation… why, we could unleash these on our enemies! Everyone would shake in terror of our undead army!”

4. “Wow, these unholy terrors are really scary,” notes Anne-Marie Wong, selling sausages in buns to bystanders. “They would make a great honeypot. I mean, how often do you see the living dead?! We could really turn a profit if we turn this place into a first-class thrill ride for visiting tourists. Want mustard?”

5. “I think we’re forgetting that these ‘zombies’ are people just like you and me!” objects Abraham Hamilton, head of the newly-formed Undead Protection Alliance. “They deserve the respect that any deceased person should, if not more! Leave them alone, and let them have the city. It will be a victory for oppressed minorities everywhere!”

6. “Braaains… braaains…?” asks ardent anti-quarantine activist Anne-Marie Jefferson. “Braaains… braaains… braaains!”

You remember last issue when I stated that qualifying for Easter Eggs was not a guarantee of getting it, more like a hunting license, that it may take a while or never come up for you? This issue moreso than most has proven the case to me. The concept is simple: take one of your nations that has ceased to exist (CTEd) and “bring it back to life.” That prompts the dead to rise from their graves—or should. None of my major nations had ever had this EE, so I let my third-largest nation go inactive for 28 days and thus CTE. I waited 24 hours—two updates—before bringing it back, now qualified for this EE. So I eagerly awaited getting this EE to add to my collection. And I waited. And I waited. It’s been a couple of years now and I’m still waiting. I suspect that having CTEd a long time before being resurrected may have something to do with the likelihood of getting it sooner or at all. I remember when I brought back a friend’s nation that had been gone for something like 4 years that I got this EE almost immediately. Or that could be completely coincidental, who knows? (Well, SOME people DO know, but they aren’t talking!) 

I note that enough people have gotten this issue without ever CTEing that there is something else in play, perhaps just a hiccup in the programming. A few people will claim that it has to do with having “Zombie” in your nation’s classification. This is clearly not the case. TONS of nations (including some of my brood) are “The Holy Purple Zombie of XXX,” or something like that, and they never get this EE. Zombies are in right now, so if you want to be a zombie, fine, just don’t expect to be rewarded for jumping to the Other Side.

As for the choices, I personally have never answered #1, but it seems at best you would inherit a “city” uninfected, but reduced to rubble. And have the blood of innocent survivors on your hands. Ick!
As I recall from seeing the results of people who answered #2, the military and/or civilian militias go on a recruitment drive to combat the undead menace. So tell me now, sir, are you now or have you ever been a member of the undead?

#3 will earn you condemnation from the nations of the world. You know, there are SOME genies I wouldn’t want to let out of the bottle, no matter what wishes they promised to grant me, since once out, that particular genie is never going to go away again.

I’ve never answered #4, either. It sounds like it may be the choice of those wishing economic advancement. Are you old enough to remember the movie series when they wanted to make a theme park with dinosaurs, Jurassic Park? Let me give you a clue: it didn’t turn out so well for the humans. And now they’re getting ready to release the next installment, Jurassic World. Expect more people to be torn to bits and eaten.

#5 is the high freedoms choice—it will increase your Political Freedoms because you’ve “recognized a new minority” or something like that. After all, zombies are people, too, just people who love people…for dinner.
#6 is unchartered territory for me, too. If you’ve had this EE and chosen #6, I’d love to hear from you. It sounds eerily like the “Join the Zombie Hordes” option come Halloween. If you’re up for some cannibalistic undead fun, this is probably your option.

It’s my duty as a horror movie geek to point out to you that the whole “brains” meme was started by some silly remakes of the Night of the Living Deadfranchise. Classically, zombies don’t eat brains much or at all unless a victim’s head happens to be conveniently split open. Think about it—the brain is mostly encased in solid bone, right? Assuming zombies have no more strength than they had when they were humans (and NO, they NEVER go fast, either), how are they going to get to the brain without tools, since zombies don’t have higher brain functions? Use their hands? Have YOU ever successfully split open a bowling ball with your bare hands? I don’t recommend biting a bowling ball, either, unless you’re in the market for some nice dentures.

RECOMMENDATION: choose #5 and play nice with the undead and MAYBE they won’t eat you…tonight, anyway.

#077: World to End, or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary

The Issue
Along with the rest of the world, the citizens of @@NAME@@ have been stunned by the revelation of a small team of geophysical philosophers that the world turns exactly one year old today, as measured by what they call "RL units". (Congratulations on finding so many easter eggs. As a reward, here is the special issue our players got when NationStates turned one year old.)

The Debate

1. "Frankly, I saw this coming -- all the signs of the Apocalypse are here," says local community leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Moral standards are falling, the government is making increasingly erratic decisions, and people are neglecting their work to play bizarre political simulation games on the internet. There's only one sensible reaction: declaring a state of emergency, sending out the military, and shooting curfew breakers until the crisis is over."

2. "With respect, I don't think falling moral standards are the problem," says cubicle dweller and Slashdot karma god @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The issue is what's going to happen to our computers if the world clock ticks over from 0 to 1. This Y1 problem, as I call it, could be devastating for our IT industry unless it's tackled swiftly. And by tackled swiftly, I mean given a massive injection of public money."

3. "Why panic when you should be partying?" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, not completely soberly. "It's the first birthday of the world, man -- let people go nuts! If the government has a shred of decency, they'll order the cops to back off and let people really enjoy this incredible moment in history."

4. "This is neither a time for clamping down, nor, as they say, going off," says religious leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Rather, we should encourage people to reflect on the great mysteries of life. For example, what is God, to each of us? What is the true meaning of faith? And is the world around us reality, or are we instead living inside a simulated reality that exists only for the amusement of beings we cannot even imagine?"

5. "Well, I know what I'll be doing," says obscure author and Perl amateur Max Barry. "Sitting at home with a good book! Jennifer Government, for instance, is a cracking read. And I hear that some of the profits go into maintaining a cool web game. But of course, that's just my opinion. People should celebrate however they want."

NSWiki implies that you get this once you've found a certain number of EEs:
The conventional wisdom is you’re eligible after getting 3 EEs. For a change, *I* am the outlier: one of my nations once got this EE only having had 1 prior EE. For real. And I have it on excellent authority that I am an excellent authority. XD See my comment on hiccups in the programming to account for this and don’t expect this issue until after you’ve already gotten three EEs. Then you will have FOUR EEs and will get a new banner in the Rift theme—isn’t that EXCITING!!!

The choices all appear to be straightforward:
#1 is for all you who get off on shining your military medals. The result specifically is:
"tens of thousands of revelers have been arrested for trying to celebrate the recent world anniversary."

#2 is for those who want to build their economies at every turn, in this case, the IT industry. It sounds expensive, though.

#3 is probably the freedom choice. I can’t honestly say I’ve noticed any particular uptick in my CRs or PFs when I’ve chosen this one, but it clearly doesn’t lower freedoms like #1 or raise taxes like #2. Besides, I’m a sucker for any opportunity to make the police stand down or go away, which is why about a quarter of the top 100 nations in the world with Lowest Police Ratios are mine (this is a small exaggeration, but only a small one).

#4 is clearly for those interested in raising their Religion score. It’s a pretty benevolent choice, but since I LIKE my Most Godforsaken score, I don’t ever answer it this way.

#5 is, nicely put, a tip of the hat to Max Berry. It also appears to be a benevolent choice with no significant consequences like #3 & #4. That last sentence is high freedom language, so that would make this my second choice.

RECOMMENDATION: choose #3 if you’re for high freedoms and against the police, otherwise choose #5, which is unlikely to modify your police ratio while still affirming high freedoms.

Artwork of the Damned
"Doctor Mad"
14x11 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

BOOK OF BAPHOMET II: Kaosofi pt. I
Article by, Theistic Luciferia

Chaos is pan-dimensional planes having infinite time and spatial dimensions, unlike the cosmos, which consists of the three spatial dimensions and a time dimension.

In comparison with the cosmos linear time dimension, chaos is timeless so that it is not limited to a one-dimensional time.

Cosmos is causal, i.e. bound by the law of cause and effect, while chaos is completely acausal (beyond the causal) and free of all restrictions.

Chaos is the eternal future and therefore an active and dynamic eternity.
Chaos was, chaos is and becomes everything and nothing at the same time.
In this way Chaos is the only true freedom and the essence beyond all forms.

All opportunities are available in the unlimited chaos and among them was also the possibility of the cosmos' emergence. The part of the chaos surrounding the cosmos is anti-cosmic, because it is pan-dimensional and amorphous in nature, the antithesis to the cosmic shaped, limited and causal structure. Therefore experience the chaos that penetrates into the cosmos as destructive, consuming and disruptive. For it dissolves the cosmos' limited structures and shapes, and instead establishes the formless and limitless acausal void, which is the origin of everything as well as the end.

Chaos is more or less found in all that exists, from the largest to the smallest.
Chaos is universes.
It is in the absolute nothing that men can not possibly imagine.
Chaos is all-dimensional and zero-dimensional at the same time.
It is temporal and timeless, spatial and spatial resolved.
It is all things rise, from there, everything has been created.
Everything is its out there and that's all, while it is nothing.
Chaos is its own cause and his own works, as in his unlimited potential to create and destroy.
Chaos is the zero-dimension, which is the place of timeless essence.
The zero-dimension, which in itself carries all manifested and unmanifested dimensions.

-Baphomet

We hope you've enjoyed our seventh issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details. Thanks for reading.

by **Marselesk** » Mon Jun 29, 2015 1:06 am

Great update, as always.

by **Jakker** » Mon Jun 29, 2015 8:08 pm

Nicely done, Stalker

Great interview with Souls <3

by **The Stalker** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 5:54 am

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

July 31st, 2015
Issue VIII. Devils Haircut

Index
I. Interview with Ambroscus Koth
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Refactoring
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. BOOK OF BAPHOMET III: Kaosofi pt. II

Interview with Ambroscus Koth
Interviewed by, The Stalker

1. How have your first two weeks as Osiris's new Pharaoh been? Have they gone as you expected?

Started off hectic and now it's gone slow again, which isn't really all that bad. I have many more responsibilities that have kept me busy in the region of course: digging deep for endorsements, keeping up with the WA happenings, managing the new "Osiran of the Week" events, making new arrangements, blah blah boring delegate sh*t. I've received a very warm welcome into the seat, and I feel very comfortable in it. I cannot allow myself nor the region to become complacent, however, so even though the last two weeks have been fun I gotta keep my eyes on the prize in the weeks to come.

2. How involved were you with Osiris's raid of [region=Founderless]? Should we expect to see more raids like these from Osiris?

I was consulted every step of the way by my War Scribe, Festavo. I knew his sleeper was there before I even ran for Pharaoh, so there's that. It was actually a very professionally done raid given what the Legion had at its disposal, and hopefully we will see much more like this in the coming months. The Legion has benefited well from its allies that have come to help, and that really makes me happy.

3. Do you consider Osiris a raider base community, or more of mixed community of varying ideologies? How do you feel about leading such a community?

Osiris, though definitively raider, is absolutely still host to a wide variety of players. We cannot forget that Tim Stark, Vice Chancellor of the FRA, was just Pharaoh for 6 months. We are steadfast in our belief in raiding being a beneficial activity, but we hardly only play ball with raiders. Being that I hail from pure raiding UCRs, it's a change of pace to be able to lead a more diverse group. Anyone can come into Osiris and make a difference, no matter their R/D alignment.

4. What are your overall goals and plans for Osiris during your time as Pharaoh?

Oh jeez, I should know better by now than to think I'd be done with this question, haha. Short version because I've said it so many times: Getting more people from the region onto the forum, re-vitalizing culture, expanding foreign affairs and influence, increasing military might, making the region a more attractive place to be. Also, making the World Assembly my b*tch.

5. How much sooner till Ainocra coups you? A week or more?

He'll probably pull a surprise coup once I'm balls deep in schoolwork. He's a smart dude, he knows that patience will pay off for him

In all seriousness, I have no reason to believe he'd do that.

6. If you were to sell your soul to the devil, what would you sell it for?

Musical talent. I'd love to be able to put my thoughts to music but I blow ass at it.

In conclusion, I'm cool. Stop by Osiris and say hi, readers, or I'll raid the sh*t out of you. ^w^

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

The General Assembly Sets Record for Telegram Spam

With each passing day it seems WA stamp bought telegrams flood delegates' inbox increasingly as often. With the recent repeal of World Space Administration many delegates got 6 telegrams in under 24hours regarding a single resolution.

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact [nation=short]The Stalker[/nation] for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,

What has roots as nobody sees, Is taller than trees up, up, up it goes, and yet never grows?

Sincerely,
G&S

G&S,
My first thought was a root canal. It meets 1 and 3 but doesnt meet 2. Then I thought maybe the root of a mountain or roots of numbers or something like that. While clever, and maybe even the answer you were looking for, it's just stupid and I refuse to go there. I finally settled on 'Rootboy Slim and the Sex Change Band' (google it). While funny, it actually works as nobody sees them (Rootboy's dead), even dead, he's taller than a bonzai, and at this point, he doesn't grow. If that's not your answer, then pound sand. That's the best you're gonna get from me.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Refactoring
Article by, Buer the Demon AKA Dr George

I had been aware for some time that it was possible to juggle the budgetary books in NS. Let me explain: for most nations, you have a military and a police force and a wide variety of departments and social works, and all that is relatively expensive, so you pay a lot in taxes to protect your citizens from crime and from foreign nations and to educate them and to provide them with social services. Some nations, however, have one or more categories that they spend 0% of their budget on so they can maximize their contributions to other parts of the budget; furthermore, it was fairly easy for those nations to have a lot of specialized spending and still achieve a 0% tax rate. How could they do that? The game apparently assumed that EVERYONE had a relatively equalized budget and thus these nations were able to do some fairly massive spending by taking it away from the areas in which they already had no spending. By choosing to cut all taxes and also to cut from areas that were already at 0% of the budget, these nations were able in essence to reach into an empty piggy bank and pull out free money.

Refactoring has changed all that. An example will suffice, I think. I have two very different nations in two very different regions, who I will call simply A and B. A has been a classic example of a nation exploiting the loophole above. A's priorities are particularly Education and the Environment. Having done so much spending on both, A consistently does very, very well in Smartest, Most Cultured, Best Environment, Best Weather, Most Popular Tourist Destination, and the like. A has a well-funded national healthcare system and free college education for all. A floats back and forth between Anarchy and Civil Rights Lovefest, has approached having all three categories at 100%, and actually has a fairly large economy, but it is a very specialized economy, largely Publishing, IT, and the like. In other industries--especially the polluting industries--A is near the bottom of the heap. In most categories, A spends 0% of its budget; without a military, police force, or prison system, A has a Crippling crime rate, but also a massive piggy bank from which to do all of its social spending. B is a Corporate Police State with a 100% (Frightening) economy, but nearly 0% in Civil Rights and Political Freedoms. B has a wonderful economy for a nations its size, which it achieved in large part by savaging its environment and deregulating its industries, removing all worker, consumer, and environmental safeguards. B prioritizes Commerce, Law & Order, and secondarily Religion, but spends at least a little on almost everything. B has a sizable police force and military and a 0% crime rate, but only does well in economic categories and social categories like Stupidest. Before refactoring, A had a 0% tax rate and B had a 60%+ tax rate. After refactoring, A suddenly had to pay for all that education, culture, and healthcare and refactored to a tax rate well over 60%, while B's tax rate went from above 60% into the low single digits, as it provides almost no social services.

I know of another nation (not one of mine), C, that has similar priorities to A, but did not exploit the above loophole and thus had a tax rate of 100% for the many years I have known it. C's tax rate went from 100% down to about 98%. That, I think, is the more normative experience in refactoring; your tax rate goes up or down a few percentage points, but nothing terribly noticeable. For nations at the outlying extremes, though, like A and B, refactoring has had a significant effect. A is busily trying to reduce his tax rate, but I think it will probably now come out of his massive educational system. For the first time ever, B, too, is trying to eliminate his tax rate, in part to spite A.

--Buer the Demon

Artwork of the Damned
"But I am of the Universe"
Oil 24x18 Painting by, The Stalker

BOOK OF BAPHOMET III: Kaosofi pt. II
Article by, Theistic Luciferia

Chaos is the eternal development and lawless becoming, which Cosmos, with its stagnating forms, want to restrict. Chaos' lawlessness is to not be bound by causality laws and Cosmos' parent/limited structure. Therefore, the lawlessness, the Chaos-Gnostic perspective, is the ultimate freedom beyond form and shackles. Evolution is Chaos' way to speed up all things' return to Chaos, while stagnation is the Cosmos' way to hold on to its limited form, team and structure.

The Black Flame/ The Acausal Fire, which is the "spiritual" essence behind or beyond the conscious human causal form, is our link to the essence that is Chaos.

Darts I (ego) is formed by the Cosmos' limitations, while ourself, which is the whole of our acausal kraft's existence, is beyond our human forms and limitations and is identical to the latent dark force that we call The Inner Black Flame.

The Ego is the focal point of the self, which has been fixed (wired) self in the Cosmos. The self (ego) is therefore our conscious who are in the light, while the self/spirit/the Internal Chaos Fire is beyond the unconscious part. Self is why the dark and unseen essence links us with the original Chaos.
By looking into the abyss of self, we find the gates to Chaos.

By accessing the unconscious gate to the acausal self (Azoth), we can increase the self consciousness of our existence and align the focal point to the ego, to internal chaos fire and create a synthesis between self and self. This in turn means increased supply of the Acausal flows to the consciousness (Atazoth) and the dragon's eyes and the liberation of the pandimensional self.

The Satanic Pentagrams spirit lace symbolizes the self, who was repressed and suppressed by the four formed elements, which symbolizes the self (ego). By returning the four elements to the spirit-devouring Acausal Fires, returning the self into the self and the self becomes free again and one with the Eternal Chaos.

This return to the Acausal origin can only be initiated through true self-knowledge (gnosis) that is achieved by significantly experiencing the inner pandimensional and acausal power.
0, is a symbol of the zero-dimensional chaos, while one stands for the shaping and contractile force that created the Cosmos.

All numbers from one to ten represent different stages of causal development, culminating in Tian, which is the completion of the Cosmic. Tian symbolizes law, order and the closed circle, pouring parts of the original Chaos trapped within. Tian also symbolizes the ego and the penetration of the Acausal self. Elvan, which is Chaos' speech, symbolizes therefore that which is beyond tian (cosmos), and lawlessness, freedom, formlessness and the breaking of the closed circle. Elvan is the gateway to the initial Chaos and to the essence of transcending of the form. Therefore Elvan symbolizes the anti-cosmic evolution, completion and realization of the hidden, dark and Acausal potential.
The Broken Pentagram symbolizes therefore, with its eleven angels and its dark portal, road and gateway to the Acausal freedom, which is to be found beyond the Cosmos' limitations.
The Dragon is the oldest symbol of Chaos.

The Pre-Cosmic Chaos (the original chaos) is represented by the Black Dragon, Hubur.
By identifying and bringing up the Black Dragon, which is the Black Acausal Fire, open the Magickian Chaos' withering eye and destroys the illusion of the finite cosmos.

HAIL CHAOS!
HAIL CHAOSOFIA!

We hope you've enjoyed our eight issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details. Thanks for reading.

by **Kazmr** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 7:36 am

Love it! Might be my favorite currently published paper

Really cool artwork, btw!

by **Kleo 2** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 8:09 am

That planet blowing up image was perfection. Cool update!

by **The Stalker** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 11:10 am

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

August 20th, 2015
Issue IX. He's Evil

Index
I. Interview with Omigodtheykilledkenny
II. Spotlight News
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. \m/ Metal Sub-Genres for those who like different music \m/
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. Crossword of the Damned

Interview with Omigodtheykilledkenny
Interviewed by, The Stalker

1. As one of NationStates' premier villains, how did you get your start within NationStates? What is the origin story of Omigodtheykilledkenny?

My friend (known as Cobdenia on NationStates) told me about the site, actually. He was a regular of the GA for years, but he's off-and-on now. I nearly gave up when the site wouldn't take any of the names I tried; finally in frustration I typed in "Omigodtheykilledkenny" and it accepted it. Then when I started answering issues according to (more or less) my actual political beliefs, and it turned my citizens into a bunch of gun-crazy, bloodthirsty, corporate-enslaved morons, I just sort of ran with it. That's how Omigodtheykilledkenny became the warmongering, dolphin-hating, suicide-bombing corporate criminals we all know and love today.

2. Well known for your pro-dolphin killing policies, we ask what have these poor majestic sea critters ever done to you? Don't you feel the least bit guilty over the shooting of Cecil the Dolphin?

Cecil had it coming. And it's not so much what the dolphins have done, but what they're conspiring to do that's the problem. No one ever suspects the dolphins. They're always so cute and cuddly-looking, giving kisses to trainers and adorable little kiddies at water parks...which provides them plenty of cover to plot and carry out horrible acts on humankind. If they can blackmail the UN of old to pass a special resolution just for them, and then coerce them into shooting down a right-thinking repeal of the same act (incidentally, our first failed repeal in the UN), what else are they capable of?? That they will bail out on Earth and leave us to our own destruction when the evil alien overlords finally set their sights on our planet is certain; all the relevant science-fiction literature is clear on that. It's the treachery they doubtlessly seek to commit in the interim that we mean to prevent. We maintain that our policy toward the cetacean terrorists is the only sane and logical policy, and we will not apologize for it.

3. With now over ten failed attempts to repeal your Condemnation, do you think future generations will learn from the past? Or is failing to repeal your Condemnation now a Security Council tradition?

They don't seem to have learned anything from the past five and a half years; why should now be any different? The problem is that we seemingly do so many "good" things for the World Assembly that everyone just assumes we are innocent and blameless. We're kind of like the dolphins that way. We may as well be frolicking in aquarium waters and giving trainers kisses right along with them! (Preferably hot trainers with nice boobs.) So no, I don't see repeal attempts against SC#17 as a tradition that will go away anytime soon.

4. After your recent assault on the Security Council with a freakin' Death Star, many are clamoring to see you condemned a second time. What would you say to them? Will there be more assaults from above?

As always, all options remain on the table. As long as the mullahs of the Security Council continue to chant "death to Kenny" and burn our flag and threaten to wipe us off the map, we will not hesitate to respond to threats against our people...including meaningless badges from the World Assembly!

5. Tell us a little about the region you founded Antarctic Oasis, as one of the older regions within the game; in a few words tell us everything.

Well, if the UDL conspiracy sheets are to be believed, we're raider scum who are concurrently a fundamental threat to interregional stability, and a bunch of incompetent buffoons who don't know the first thing about gameplay. Don't let the fact that these charges seemingly contradict each other fool you; they're both indisputably true. Unless you look at the evidence (which has been leaked multiple times from our private forums, and proves that we don't actually give a rat's ass about R&D; we just like laughing at those who do).

The region started out as a way to cheat on my cousin with his wife (a secret place to exchange messages), but then somehow it blossomed into something that transcended the desire to break the Seventh Commandment. There were repeals to write, compliance gnomes to slaughter, Stripper Commandos and exploding penguins to deploy, human-rights violators to hide in the attic, and UN/WA Gestapo to tell lies to about how we don't know anything about any missing dictators; maybe they should try the region down the street? Lynda finally gave up on me and went back to my cousin, but we're all still friends today.

6. When you sold your soul to the devil, what did you get in return? How does it feel to be a soulless monster rumored to eat babies?

Hey, Saturn ate his babies and got a planet named after him! So I like my chances. A one-way ticket to hell is a fair exchange. Meet you there?

Spotlight News
Article by, The Stalker

Metal and Rock

In a recent poll Metal closely followed by Rock was voted Hell's favorite music genres. No one could believe it, what a shocker!

Cormac Retires! Again

Recently Cormac Stark best known for switching sides, the Osiris coup, and hard hitting Miniluv Messenger, has declared he will be retiring from NationStates for realz this time, but will NS let him? It is a true made up fact that NS won't let people leave the game. For every year you play it is sinking its grip deeper and deeper into ones psyche until your completely trapped, doomed to play NS forever until the end of time. You can leave NS, but NS won't leave you. Mewhahhahaha.

But on a more serious note, we bid you a fond farewell Cormac, and a credit the voodoo magic we used to eliminate rival newspapers competitors like The Miniluv Messenger as the real reason your leaving.

(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,

What is the farthest you've gone to seek revenge? This one time I made a kid eat his parents. Fed them to him as chili! It was delicious.

-Cartman

Cartman,
That would be Kaunas, Lithuania.

Fredd
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What is big, black and long?
Sincerely, Kanye East

K.E.
As everyone knows, the answer is the 2,151 mile long Interstate 70. Stretching from Baltimore to Fort Cove, Utah, I-70 is a major artery for travel and commerce. Pervert.

Fredd
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I have a Norse Binding Spell I am curious to try out. Basically, Lord of the Rings stole bits of this and came up with the books, but you can essentially bind your soul to an Item, such as a ring, amulet or even a tube of Toothpaste, although i recommend against using something that rots, Dies, or anything disposable. My question is, what should i bind my soul to? I want to be eternally present.

-been drinking too much Mjød

Fellow Mjød Lover,
I would suggest binding your soul to taxes or government. Or prejudice. All of those are likely to be eternal. If you want a physical object, how about the earth? Not quite eternal, but It should be around for another 5 billion years or so.
But for truly eternal, unchanging, immutable existence, you should bind your soul to a twinkie. Those suckers will last forever.

Fredd
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Hey, Fredd. So I heard I should ask you my questions for the Hell's Bell's. My question is... why in Hell would you want to do this job? Oh, and do you get paid to do your job?

Nameless,
I don't suppose you'd believe that I do it for the satisfaction. In all honesty, I do it because Stalker gives me all the hookers and blow I can handle.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

\m/ Metal Sub-Genres for those who like different music \m/
Article by, Theistic Luciferia

Baroque – Baroque was a form of music typically endorsed by the Catholic Church, Hence the common use of Pipe Organs to play many services. I was unfamiliar with any particular Artists, although a simple search on YouTube provided this Artist and a very Baroque-like sound. https://youtu.be/cA8T4exbWu8 Bloody+Chains

Romantic Era Music – Romantic Era Music is a Genre of Classical Music that was more of a revolt against the social norms of the Enlightenment Era. Common traits were - a new preoccupation with and surrender to Nature; a fascination with the past, particularly the Middle Ages and legends of medieval chivalry; a turn towards the mystic and supernatural, both religious and merely spooky; a longing for the infinite; mysterious connotations of remoteness, the unusual and fabulous, the strange and surprising; a focus on the nocturnal, the ghostly, the frightful, and terrifying; fantastic seeing and spiritual experiences; a new attention given to national identity; emphasis on extreme subjectivism; interest in the autobiographical; discontent with musical formulas and conventions. If you know much about music, these traits are common in many forms of both Rock, Metal and many other Genres. One of the Most known Composers of Romantic Classical Music is Ludwig Van Beethoven. It is one of the most important Influnces for Many Solos in Metal. However, for the sake of providing an Example, Here are 3
https://youtu.be/MZuSaudKc68 Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement

Beethoven - https://youtu.be/4ZQu3p-qWF8 Beethoven's 5th (1st Movement)
Metal y Musica Clasica - Sepultura - Ludwig Van Beethoven- https://youtu.be/kZEfUsoVImw 9 Sinfonia
Also Check out Trans Siberian Orchestra

Rococo – This one was Rather Difficult as I am unfamiliar with the music, although upon researching I found that Johann Christian Bach, was a Composer of this type and although I couldn’t find a particular genre that embodied the essence of J.C. Bach, or I Do know of a band such as Apocalyptica which, although not technically Rococo Metal, it incorporates elements. I probably chose a poor work to explain this, but the album Inquisition Symphony has many Rococo Elements to it
https://youtu.be/ND9H14AmiAw Apocalyptica-Inquisition Symphony

Folk Songs – There is a Whole Metal Genre dedicated to Folk Music. It’s Called Folk Metal. Here is an Example
https://youtu.be/pV_vRC0FnHk 18 Versions of Folk Metal from around the world
Technically the german style counts as Polka Metal too.

Ballads – Ballads have been an important element to many metal bands when arranging an Album. Particularly, Metallica typically included one on every album.
Metallica (Every Ballad they Have on one Album) - https://youtu.be/rAzEdvHTaGg Metallica

Lullabies – Yes, there are Metal Lullabies, one that comes to mind is from a Comedy Metal Band called Psychostick, although lyrical Content does get a bit profane to post a link to them, so instead
https://youtu.be/aAJNvJQBF6I?list=PL6A2EDE1F4B42F35F Metallica For Babies (most other versions would scare most babies)

Christian Hymns – As much as I have a major dislike for this, I know there are many metal bands that are formed by churches to perform a Christian-Friendly alternative to metal. I actually got forced to go to church with my cousin’s family and their church was actually pushing for people to only listen to Christian alternatives to metal. As far as Hymns go, They all suck, but here is one. Forgive me Satan.
https://youtu.be/yNeaDk860ek Hosanna

Gregorian Chants – I present Gregorian, I have no more to say
https://youtu.be/8LWcTT__1CI Gregorian

Disco – Mediocre at best for many fans of either
https://youtu.be/ttCfKS_GceY Disco Metal

Dance Club – Eskimo Callboy is pretty much the embodiment of both
https://youtu.be/V_EvhxynAdY Eskimo Callboy – Is Anyone Up

Marches – talking like Marching Bands? Or Military Marches such as every annoying military song I am forced to listen to every time there is a new ceremony.
https://youtu.be/-XglQ38sB5A blehhh

National Anthems, often times are about the same thing as a March, others use a different one, but I’m not posting a link to this one. I’ll just say, google national anthem, Metal. It’s usually something a lot of bigger metal acts play live.

Nursery Rhymes – why? I do not know.
https://youtu.be/lPoLK4BlPV8 Mary had a little lamb

Musak - it’s actually called Muzak and is a common Elevator Music or Retail Music. I would really not consider this a Genre, but I got nothing. I guess if you really wanted this, turn your headphones up really loud and put the whole music player, headphones and all, in an air duct. Surely it will be the same thing, just better than that dreadful elevator music.

Showtunes – again, Not a genre, more of a grouping of songs. There have been metal songs that have been used as show tunes and technically anything played by the band Dethklok is a show tune as it comes from a show. No link needed here either.

Odes – Ode to joy – Technically a repeat of a small subgenre of Romantic Music - https://youtu.be/yMUa4qmiM3A

Opera – You can Thank Christopher Lee (aka, Saruman and Count Duku, both of which I can’t spell). He was the oldest Metal Frontman at 93 when he made this.
https://youtu.be/cvKRbi2ovDY Christopher Lee

Artwork of the Damned
"I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire"
14x11 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

Crossword of the Damned
Created by, The Stalker

Across
• 2. Adam's first wife
• 3. Italian for 'Hell'
• 4. The Devil in Futurama is a?
• 7. Ye who enter, abandon all ____...
• 8. King of Hell in Supernatural
• 10. Number of Deadly Sins?
• 11. Sea Monster, one of the Seven Princes of Hell
• 12. Sold his soul to the Devil
• 14. Talked Lucifer into rebelling against God
• 15. You know that sometimes Satan comes as a man of... ?

Down
• 1. Final boss in Diablo II
• 2. How you are fallen from heaven, O _____, son of the morning.
• 5. For whom the bell tolls?
• 6. Three headed Hell hound
• 9. Satan is my...?
• 10. Is watching you complete this crossword puzzle from your window.
• 13. Hail....?

We hope you've enjoyed our ninth issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details. Thanks for reading.

by **Assanria** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:23 pm

Awesome update!

by **Sex Drugs Rock N Roll** » Fri Aug 21, 2015 2:28 pm

METAL

by **RiderSyl** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:34 pm

Nice update. Didn't understand the interview with that random South Park fan, though. Ah well.

by **Mallorea and Riva** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 1:24 pm

Ridersyl wrote:Nice update. Didn't understand the interview with that random South Park fan, though. Ah well.

Anyone who doesn't know about the AO Conspiracy needs to learn

by **Pergamon** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 5:32 pm

I loved the crossword.

Hell's Bells S.E.I: Back in Black (Gates of Hell OPEN)

Hell's Bells S.E.I: Back in Black (Gates of Hell OPEN)

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