The Fishmonger's Finger

[A mean old man]

"The Fishmonger's Finger: raising NS media to a higher standard."

Welcome. You're reading the best news thread in all of NS Gameplay, brought to you by someone who doesn't really play anymore yet still plans to bring you quality material that's full of facts and things so that you know what's going on. The text is black on a white or ivory background, there aren't any pictures yet (but there might be some eventually), and it's all entirely factual and NS-related. We'll see if it survives past its first issue.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014:
HOW MILOGRAD PLANS TO FUCK YOUR FAMILY

Recently some people in Osiris pitched a fit and closed the embassy with Lazarus. Some stuff was said in private chats, some people got mad, and things are pretty much the same as they've been for the past few years. I should probably go read whatever Osiris posted regarding this decision.

Okay. I read the announcement. Cormac said some cool stuff about how Osiris was going to be tough. He threw a lot of words together in an articulate fashion. He says a lot of stuff about acts of aggression and allies and hostility and whatever. A dude posted a clappy face afterwards. Not bad.

Before I wrote this I decided to talk to Lazarus delegate Milograd about stuff that was happening. This is what he had to say.

[12:16:10 AM] AMOM: sup fool
[12:16:15 AM] AMOM: this is an interview
[12:16:18 AM] AMOM: so be like
[12:16:20 AM] AMOM: formal and shit
[12:16:37 AM] AMOM: I'm playing from the sidelines here; in all honesty, I have no fucking idea what's going on
[12:16:46 AM] AMOM: give me the scoop: what is happening between Osi and Laz?
[12:16:53 AM] AMOM: you're still delegate of Laz, right?
[12:18:45 AM] milograd: Okay.
[12:18:45 AM] milograd: Hello.
[12:18:46 AM] milograd: Nah.
[12:18:46 AM] milograd: And Osiris just closed relations because we're plotting to invade Balder or something?
[12:19:20 AM] AMOM: tell me about your plans to invade Baldy
[12:21:03 AM] AMOM: sounds difficult, what with UIAF so entrenched there
[12:21:37 AM] milograd: Well, Cormac was right. The LLA -- a military that is currently constitutionally barred from invading -- was going to send troops into Balder and right up overthrow the regime. We're very sneaky like that.
[12:22:04 AM] milograd: And the State Council signed off on the invasion papers, we sent three non-WA puppets posing as TEK to carry out the deed.
[12:22:18 AM] milograd: We originally planned to do it on the anniversary of D-Day, but then we realized that we were 91 troops short.
[12:22:29 AM] milograd: So we cried ourselves to sleep and hit up the nearest liquore store.
[12:22:34 AM] milograd: Literally. We burned it down.
[12:22:47 AM] AMOM: that's fucking diabolical
[12:22:52 AM] AMOM: I didn't know you had the means to invade Balder
[12:22:57 AM] AMOM: wait a minute, never mind
[12:22:59 AM] AMOM: I wasn't reading
[12:23:05 AM] milograd: Now we are replanning our vicious invasion of Balder.
[12:23:36 AM] AMOM: I heard from an unnamed source that may or may not be Karpathos that you are planning to fuck everyone's family
[12:23:37 AM] milograd: Yep.
[12:24:04 AM] milograd: Also true.
[12:24:14 AM] milograd: We ordered the condoms en mass.
[12:24:26 AM] milograd: Karp is a very sly spy. I have no clue how he got an in at Amazon.
[12:24:35 AM] milograd: (I suppose the 54 gallons of lube may've been a giveaway.)
[12:24:41 AM] milograd: NONETHELESS.
[12:24:46 AM] AMOM: ever watched Whitest Kids You Know? I envision you doing things "Grapist" style
[12:24:50 AM] milograd: Our plans are not to be sidetracked.
[12:25:14 AM] milograd: I don't have a television because my region is too poor to afford one.
[12:25:16 AM] AMOM: no, I'm sure you're saving the fun for later
[12:25:29 AM] milograd: Oh my goodness gracious.
[12:25:31 AM] AMOM: well, I suppose Communism does come with a price
[12:25:45 AM] milograd: So does 54 gallons of lube.
[12:25:59 AM] milograd: And paying the proxy guys to help me multi.
[12:26:12 AM] AMOM: in all seriousness, though
[12:27:30 AM] AMOM: how does Laz even have the money for all that lube after buying all those votes for Feux during his last election
[12:27:50 AM] milograd: Stole them from Vik.
[12:27:53 AM] milograd: Of course.
[12:28:04 AM] milograd: Cut that. We stole them from the TNI Bank.
[12:28:15 AM] AMOM: Thought you meant the lube for a moment there.
[12:28:24 AM] AMOM: moving on...
[12:28:55 AM] AMOM: how do you plan to react to Osi's recent removal of your embassy in the FA/PR department?
[12:29:12 AM] AMOM: I personally would recommend writing a retort
[12:29:28 AM] milograd: I like that recommendation.
[12:29:39 AM] milograd: We should include factual logs that are retroactively denied.
[12:29:59 AM] milograd: It works for the UIAF.
[12:30:01 AM] AMOM: I thought those were the only kind
[12:30:45 AM] AMOM: just make sure you throw in enough text to drown Manhattan
[12:30:58 AM] AMOM: even if you get lost in it yourself, they'll be lost too
[12:31:10 AM] milograd: How did you find out about my desire to drown Manhattan?
[12:31:15 AM] milograd: Did I not deny my desire to?
[12:32:10 AM] AMOM: by NS logic, if you haven't denied it you were clearly involved
[12:32:19 AM] AMOM: also by NS logic, if you denied it you were also clearly involved
[12:32:53 AM] AMOM: I don't need to guess about your plans to drown Manhattan or take over Balder
[12:33:42 AM] AMOM: anyway yeah
[12:33:46 AM] AMOM: I have no idea what else to ask you
[12:33:51 AM] AMOM: sounds like NS is still happening
[12:34:09 AM] milograd: Barely.
[12:34:41 AM] AMOM: that was a given
[12:35:22 AM] AMOM: before we wrap up, has anything truly noteworthy happened lately?
[12:35:51 AM] milograd: NES spurred political and electoral renewal in Balder and postage stamp prices are increasing.
[12:36:12 AM] AMOM: excluding events where the same people yell at each other for the same unspoken reasons then each pretend they've won by posting FA updates that only they read
[12:36:30 AM] AMOM: wow, that's pretty exciting
[12:37:17 AM] AMOM: the postage stamps, that is; must be hard on the collectors
[12:38:04 AM] milograd: Indeed.
[12:39:06 AM] AMOM: well, I think that about wraps shit up
[12:39:40 AM] AMOM: hopefully I'm not blinded by redtext as a result of this
[12:40:31 AM] AMOM: peace out
[12:40:46 AM] AMOM: say something to smooth the transition here
[12:40:50 AM] milograd: One Love.
[12:40:51 AM] AMOM: I'm ending the interview
[12:40:56 AM] AMOM: Oh, fuck you

Then we talked a little bit more but you don't need to see that here. It was good, though. We had a good time.

So, yeah, pretty sure that wraps things up. Now you know exactly what is going on. Milograd is coming. Hide your wife, hide your kids, and hide your husband. Laz is after Balder. Osiris saved the day. UIAF. The Fishmonger's Finger: keeping you informed or something. Giving you the scoop. No. Helping you ... whatever. Fuck it. That's enough.

AMOM

[Milograd]

These logs were fabricated by the NPO.

[A mean old man]

Yes.

[Mekhet]

These logs were fabricated by the NPO.

Not that one clappy guy?

[Milograd]

I was just banned from #Osi by Cormac for the ban reason of "Lazarene".

My final words were silence, because I was not active in the channel at the time I was purged.

I PLAN TO FUCK YOUR FAMILY.

These logs were fabricated by the NPO.

Not that one clappy guy?

Surprisingly, no, he is innocent. But still suspicious.

[Ambroscus Koth]

We have no reason to keep you around #osi when shit like this is being published.

There was no reason to have relations between our regions anymore. The PRL has gone so far off the defender deep end that we have literally nothing in common. When all of the candidates in the current election are running on campaigns of anti-imperialism, which goes directly against all that's gotten the OFO as far as it has, pretending to be friends becomes completely pointless.

[Constaniana]

Ah, Milo. You always make me laugh.

[Shazbotdom]

......


That has to be the funniest thing I've read in the past few days.

[Funkadelia]

We have no reason to keep you around #osi when shit like this is being published.

There was no reason to have relations between our regions anymore. The PRL has gone so far off the defender deep end that we have literally nothing in common. When all of the candidates in the current election are running on campaigns of anti-imperialism, which goes directly against all that's gotten the OFO as far as it has, pretending to be friends becomes completely pointless.

We're both GCRs. That's something in common. Not literally nothing.

[Ambroscus Koth]

We have no reason to keep you around #osi when shit like this is being published.

There was no reason to have relations between our regions anymore. The PRL has gone so far off the defender deep end that we have literally nothing in common. When all of the candidates in the current election are running on campaigns of anti-imperialism, which goes directly against all that's gotten the OFO as far as it has, pretending to be friends becomes completely pointless.

We're both GCRs. That's something in common. Not literally nothing.

Sorry mom

[Constaniana]

We're both GCRs. That's something in common. Not literally nothing.

Sorry mom

What are you doing, letting your mother out with Milo roaming the land?

[Ambroscus Koth]

Hey man, I aint her mom.

[Cormac A Stark]

We're both GCRs. That's something in common. Not literally nothing.

"We're both GCRs" has done nothing to moderate your hostility toward Balder, a region which has never committed any act of wrongdoing against Lazarus -- even according to your insane, revisionist misinterpretation of history in which imperialist bogeymen oppressed Lazarus until Feux came to the rescoup, which is also totally ludicrous and a fabricated accusation to create an enemy to suit your ideology rather than the other way around.

"We're both GCRs" is something you and the broader PRL community should have thought about before rattling your sabers in the direction of Osiris' closest ally, not to mention our other allies. "We're both GCRs" is precisely the approach the Osiris Fraternal Order has taken in ratifying a non-aggression pact with The Rejected Realms, a region which can be reasonable toward its fellow Sinkers even if differing in ideology. "We're both GCRs" isn't just a phrase you can hide behind when it's convenient, when you aren't busy threatening Balder and others of our allies. We will not pretend to be friends with a regime so extreme that it cannot tolerate others based solely on their ideology, rather than actual actions, particularly when that intolerance is directed at doing substantive harm to our allies.

[Ambroscus Koth]

rescoup

can we please make this a thing

[Milograd]

We have no reason to keep you around #osi when shit like this is being published.

You realize that your Vice-Delegate was advocating for the overthrow of our government, and espousing that it was invalid, mere months ago, yes?

And I guess the OFO's policy always has been to purge first, shoot later. Right on.

There was no reason to have relations between our regions anymore. The PRL has gone so far off the defender deep end that we have literally nothing in common. When all of the candidates in the current election are running on campaigns of anti-imperialism, which goes directly against all that's gotten the OFO as far as it has, pretending to be friends becomes completely pointless.

Why accept the embassy in the first place then? We are no different now than we were then. Were you so desperate for legitimacy at the time of the PRL's recognition of the OFO that you were willing to lay down your principles, contrary to the strongly worded statements of Cormac, and accept a false friendship with us. And, if so, how can The Rejected Realms take confidence that the NAP just signed will last beyond the one time it is truly needed? Will that just be used as a political tool as well?

And it's imperialism that has gotten the OFO "as far as it has"? What happened to the "removal of the Empire" rhetoric that was supposed to be the founding direction of the OFO?

If that's what you truly believe, why not just say that, instead of suddenly making a statement -- without consulting us first, like a diplomat might -- and making up lies about us preparing to invade Balder? As far as anyone else is seeing, the source of the shit is in your court.

[Ambroscus Koth]

I was not involved in establishing an embassy with the PRL, so don't go calling me desperate for anything.

The removal of the Empire was why we were founded. Imperialism was involved in our practices since day one of the OFO.

[Milograd]

I'd still like to hear the real reason for Osiris closing embassies with Lazarus, since everyone knows that we weren't preparing to invade Balder.

"We're both GCRs" isn't just a phrase you can hide behind when it's convenient, when you aren't busy threatening Balder and others of our allies.

It is customary to be specific when issuing a condemnation. Step up and provide the threats you're speaking about.

So far, we've asked you for them and you've brought up nothing. Repeatedly.

Unless you can get into detail, it's ironic to hear the criticisms from you -- of everyone involved in this mess you made, you're the one person who has actually, and quite directly, promoted the invasion of an involved party, when you suggested that Lazarus was invalid and should reap the consequences of defying LWU back in February.

We will not pretend to be friends with a regime so extreme that it cannot tolerate others based solely on their ideology, rather than actual actions, particularly when that intolerance is directed at doing substantive harm to our allies.

And yet Lazarus can't oppose the UIAF for invading its friends in the Rejected Realms? Double standards much? You really seem set on making an issue against Lazarus.

We tolerated Osiris despite its ideology. We weren't friends, but we weren't enemies either.All you've done here is jumped the gun, made up claims about us preparing to invade Balder, and completely ignored our lenience towards the OFO despite its ideology. I realize that the OFO likes to stir the pot from time to time with bold diplomatic embassy closures, but this is beyond petty.

[Funkadelia]

*snip*

"We're both GCRs" is something I did say whilst campaigning, but you decided instead to tailor my words into something ridiculous and then close all relations with our region without prior notice or consultation. We extended the olive branch to you, and Osiris decided not to accept it.

[Ambroscus Koth]

I'd still like to hear the real reason for Osiris closing embassies with Lazarus

Did you uh, read the statement? I'm sure you'll find some reasons in there.

[Milograd]

I'd still like to hear the real reason for Osiris closing embassies with Lazarus

Did you uh, read the statement? I'm sure you'll find some reasons in there.

Save me the literalism. You know what I meant, but even so...

All there is to show are paragraphs of vague rhetoric and unspecific claims about us threatening to use force against Balder, without any evidence or logical foundation. It's completely absurd and unfounded. The LLA isn't even constitutionally permitted to raid.

I was asking for a clarification about why such a misleading, unsupported statement of condemnation was issued. Lazarus has never even thought of any aggressive action against Balder, and yet Cormac's daming condemnation claims that Osiris needs to swoop in to condemn armed aggression against Balder.

That is simply untrue, and no one lies without a reason to do so, unless they can't help themselves. I'd like to know Cormac's reason for lying to us, about us, and to the world.

[Cormac A Stark]

Why accept the embassy in the first place then? We are no different now than we were then.

We had hoped that, over time, the PRL's outlook on relations with others -- particularly Balder -- would improve. If anything, the situation has worsened. Your break with Balder has gone from a mere parting of ways, in the beginning, to candid discussion of which strategies are best to undermine and attack them. Even if the initial parting of ways was less than cordial, I don't think anyone could have reasonably anticipated that as a result of that spat the PRL would now feel free to openly discuss how best to pursue propaganda warfare, at the very least, against Balder.

In short, when we accepted the embassy in the first place we hoped that the PRL would be encouraged toward moderation and more amicable relations with its fellow Feeders and Sinkers. The opposite has occurred.

Were you so desperate for legitimacy at the time of the PRL's recognition of the OFO that you were willing to lay down your principles, contrary to the strongly worded statements of Cormac, and accept a false friendship with us.

We have never been "desperate for legitimacy," as our legitimacy has never been seriously in question. We also have never laid down our principles. We were willing to look past the ideological differences between the OFO and the PRL to explore the possibility that the future may be brighter. Unfortunately, the PRL has never been able to look past those ideological differences and in the past six months we have seen no indication at any point that the situation will improve.

And, if so, how can The Rejected Realms take confidence that the NAP just signed will last beyond the one time it is truly needed? Will that just be used as a political tool as well?

If The Rejected Realms have questions for the OFO, I am confident that Delegate Unibot and Minister Guy know how to reach me, as we have a very cordial and diplomatic working relationship.

The Rejected Realms can take confidence in us adhering to our signed word of non-aggression because we have always adhered to our obligations to our treaty partners, which is in part the reason for this statement. This, in contrast to Lazarus, which chucked various treaty allies under the bus to justify Feux's coup last year and to provide the basis for your latest version of divisive and incendiary ideological extremism.

And it's imperialism that has gotten the OFO "as far as it has"? What happened to the "removal of the Empire" rhetoric that was supposed to be the founding direction of the OFO?

The removal of Empire was a significant event in the OFO's history, perhaps the most significant event, but it does not form the direction of our foreign policy. That event was enthusiastically aided by our allies in imperialist and raider regions, while others sat on the sidelines and still others chose to engage in some degree of hostility toward us until it became clear that we were here to stay.

Since that time, the OFO has pursued an imperialist foreign policy and a raider military alignment. This is hardly a secret. This has not been a mistake or an accident; we have pursued this policy because it is consistent with our strongest alliances, but more importantly we have pursued this policy because we decided, together, that we will never again be marked by the weakness and indecisiveness of the Kemetic Republic of Osiris, which led to its complete destabilization and finally its collapse at the hands of those expert in manipulating weakness and indecision. Osiris will be a strong, sovereign region, pursuing its interests as it sees fit, and that is in essence what imperialism is all about.

If that's what you truly believe, why not just say that, instead of suddenly making a statement -- without consulting us first, like a diplomat might -- and making up lies about us preparing to invade Balder? As far as anyone else is seeing, the source of the shit is in your court.

First, we have not said at any point that the PRL was "preparing to invade Balder." We have, rather, said that high profile figures within the PRL will not rule out the use of military force against Balder and that is accurate. This was also only one small part of a much broader statement aimed at the PRL's broad anti-imperialist crusade, a part that you have latched onto because you perceive that it gives you some argumentative leverage and you're hoping it will blur the issues at hand.

In regard to consulting you first, you've had six months to come to the table with the Osiris Fraternal Order and discuss whether your rabid anti-imperialism might be a problem for us, an imperialist region with many imperialist allies. You have not done so. It is the People's Republic of Lazarus that has launched a crusade against the political orientation we have freely chosen, as is our right, and against our allies who have also chosen that orientation. You certainly did not consult us before launching an ideological crusade against us and our allies, and we saw no reason to consult you before recognizing simple reality and severing relations that for all intents and purposes were already destroyed by the PRL's ideological fervor above all else.

---

Having responded once to these issues, I have no intention of engaging in a fruitless back and forth with you as has become so customary in this forum. We have issued our statement. Relations between the Osiris Fraternal Order and the People's Republic of Lazarus have been severed, and barring some restoration of sanity to Lazarus there is no indication that they will be restored anytime soon.

Further argumentation is unnecessary, and I have better things to do with my time, such as engage regions with which we are still maintaining diplomatic relations. You may continue to tilt at windmills if you wish, as it's clear to anyone paying attention that the PRL has been too hostile toward imperialist regions to maintain any semblance of relations with any of them. That is the PRL's fault, everyone knows it, and it is my sincere hope that the PRL community will eventually repudiate the ideological equivalent of fertilizer you have concocted and return to reasonable relations with regions of diverse orientations and alignments.

[Klaus Devestatorie]

Both sides of the issue are irredeemably terrible and should dissolve themselves in the name of cultural progress.

[Jeffersonborg]

Both sides of the issue are irredeemably terrible and should dissolve themselves in the name of cultural progress.

#codger4alldels

Its the only way.

[Mekhet]

Both sides of the issue are irredeemably terrible and should dissolve themselves in the name of cultural progress.

#codger4alldels

Its the only way.

That's what I said in Balder >_>

[Drop Your Pants]

Will i get banned from #osi too?