Raid Report: October 10, 2023 Major
In which Alex gets their sea legs
When you're a shapeshifter, disguises are second nature to you. No fiddling with makeup or prosthetic faces, no pebble in your shoe to affect your gait, no viscous glue holding on an obviously fake mustache. You can just look in the mirror, concentrate for a moment, and suddenly you stop recognizing the face you see.
That is, of course, unless you want to do those other things anyway. Because while Alex
could take on any form and features they pleased, the thought of waltzing onto the deck of the navy's latest battleship in a pair of novelty glasses and a fake mustache was the funniest idea they'd had all month. Well, that, and the fake minister badge they made, which was now drawing the attention of one of the soldiers stationed just outside the bridge.
"Minister of Funny Business? That doesn't sound like any office I've ever heard of. What exactly are you doing?" he asked, squinting at Alex's fake badge. Alex froze; the badge was mostly just a prop - it never occurred to them that someone might take the time to read it. The ship was already well on its way into the cold, northern waters of the Pacific ocean, so escape options were limited; and even if they weren't, walking away would almost certainly provoke an armed response from every sailor on board. Luckily, Alex knew exactly what the situation called for: a carefully delivered fib.
"Why, I'm on my way to deliver this very important document to the ship's captain, of course!" Alex replied, waving a piece of paper and conveniently neglecting to address the soldiers comment about their alleged office. "I'd tell you what for, but it's above your pay grade. All you need to know is this should have been on the bridge about five minutes ago."
The soldier glanced at the papers, then to the door, then back to the papers, then back to Alex, and eventually decided that whatever was going on here was, in fact, above his pay grade. He motioned towards the door, which Alex slipped through and shut behind them as they made their way onto the bridge. There, they tapped the shoulder of the Officer of the Watch. "New orders from the top." they said, sliding the paper into the field of view of the officer, distracting them enough for Alex to press their thumb into a cluster of nerves in the officers neck. The officer crumpled to the floor, unconscious, and Alex tossed aside the paper. "You are hereby ordered to take a nap" they chuckled to themselves, then turned to the delightfully unsupervised console at the center of the room.
"Attention, all hands: report to battle stations! Prepare to engage!"The alarm pierced the air inside the ship as sirens sounded to life, blaring Alex's voice at maximum volume. The forward gun swiveled, rotating to point towards the ship Alex had pointed out, over radio, to the ship's gunner.
"But, captain, isn't that one of our allies?" the gunner had asked, upon spotting the flags of the ship scheduled for demolition.
"Training exercise, my good man. I have it on the authority of the General herself." There was a benefit to the strict hierarchy of bureaucracy, Alex thought - orders that came from above were not to be questioned. That fact had come in handy more than once before, and it was about to do so again.
As if to prove their point, the guns roared to life, sending high-capacity anti-ship rounds just above the waves towards their mark. The first salvo rang out against the ships side, then the second, as the hijacked battleship invoked Poseidon's fury and sought to sink her foe. Alex, while momentarily mesmerized by the plumes of smoke, slipped out the door they came in through. Then, amidst the cannon rounds, there came a silence, broken again by the blaring of another alarm. Alex knew what that meant - they had
officially overstayed their welcome, and it was time to bail before they found themselves at the wrong end of a keel-hauling. They slipped over to a lifeboat, used their dagger to cut the ropes holding it to the ship, and splashed down into the icy waves below. As the feeble onboard motor sputtered to action and the lifeboat drifted away from the ship, Alex caught a glimpse of activity - soldiers in spiffy blue uniforms kicking in the door to the bridge, guns drawn. But it was too late; silhouetting the action was the billowing smoke from the
Empire of Australia as it listed on the waves.
Edit: Almost forgot the role call! Big thanks to the TNP militia for coming when I asked - even if I did admittedly ask under completely false pretenses.
Taskmaster Volstrostia
TNP Militia/Native the Otsutsuki Clan
TNP Militia/Native Uchoesia:3
Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2023 8:29 am
