The United Defenders League

[Mallorea and Riva]

How you all missed it I will never understand... Unless there's some game afoot that I don't see, that is. Campina sees it now at least. Or I sure hope he does.

Thanks for posting something so vague, it took me 10 minutes to realize what you meant

Oh not that silly. The reason I made it vague was because there is an off chance you didn't see it. Which I suppose might be the case. A region currently exists that is an update away from being destroyed. Granted it wasn't much of a region to begin with, but still.

[Unibot II]

We're taking bets when update will finish. ;p

[Andasreth]

CAN someone tell me how defending works? I'm new <: and ish confusezzed

[Andasreth]

I joined Then Thousand Islands...but...I'm not enjoying this place. it's too big

[Mahaj]

CAN someone tell me how defending works? I'm new <: and ish confusezzed

Here, i'll telegram you.

[Eluvatar]

We're taking bets when update will finish. ;p

... [violet] won.

[New Sapienta]

EDIT: Nevermind, found it.

[Unibot II]

EDIT: Nevermind, found it.

Welcome to the team, bud!

[New Sapienta]

EDIT: Nevermind, found it.

Welcome to the team, bud!

Thanks!

[Mahaj]

Welcome to the team, bud!

Thanks!

Welcome!

[Unibot II]

DISCLAIMER: THIS UPDATE IS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL BEYOND THE DISCLAIMER. I do not actually represent The West Pacific et. al. As you all know, NationStates recently changed servers. This caused the update order to be all messed up, so for example, the UDL’s headquarters now updates four minutes into update. Also, update is now much shorter, which us defenders are certainly appreciating. Nonetheless, to celebrate this glorious server change, I now present to you a UDL Press Release from a parallel world where there are only eight regions and I am the tyrant emperor of the West Pacific. The joke originates from when the mods and admins were testing the new server: they re-created NationStates and were playing around in some feeders with “Unibot” as the delegate of the West Pacific among other hilarities. Please enjoy!

---

A Public Service Announcement by the Capitalis de Societate of The United Defenders League and The Honorable Emperor of the Glorious Republic of The West Pacific,

Liberty hath begot terror and terror hath begot public virtue and victory. I called upon you, my fellow merrymen to unite in the War on Nasicournia but I have been greeted with weakness, vice and public insubordination from the most rotten and sullen parasites of our civil society.

Lest the common merryman forget the roots of the Republic that he now adores, I am obligated to recant our history to remind them of what hath made us strong and what maketh Nasicournia so injurious to our sublime design.

*slams fist on pulpit* The West Pacific was once a barren land of depravity and corruption led by demagogues until it was cultivated by our League of United Defenders and the Honorable Emperor – this is the Incontrovertible Word of Fris! Hail The Glorious Republic!! We hath made our society strong and virtuous; from the roots of our noble germination hath grown an awe-invoking vegetation of order.

We turn our attention now to Nasicournia, led by the despicable demagogue, Francos Spain. He overthrew our defender brotherhood and now offers ‘peace’ and ‘freedom’ to the Nasicournians when it is war and discipline that hath made us strong and it is war and discipline that hath provideth the double-tongued demagogue his trophy. We heed The Rejected Realm’s “No Sedge” policy; death shall come to the New Sedge Order that have corrupted the Pacific with its support of the Francoist regime.

It is time that we organize our army of honor and liberate Nasicournia from the infidels. HARK OUR LORD, FRIS. AMEN. But it is not enough to simply advance Nasicournia; we shall improve our own region: we shall protect our liberties by enforcing our new Crimes Against Liberty passed today by holy decree; no longer may your freedom of speech be diminished and neighbored by dissenters’ treachery. Hail Liberty! We shall eradicate and purge the Australians from the region! *slams fist wildly* Hail Purity! We shall expand the Glorious Republic to the New World, where local tyrants and savages soil the lesser Pacifics: the North, East and South, with their incivility – we shall teach them virtue from vice and with time they shall be our resilient offspring. Hail Fecundity!

Supplicate, Respect and Fear, my friends.

This is your Moment of Terror:

<@Eluvatar> I hate how TNI has "The region who Conquered The Rejected Realms! " in their WFE
<@Eluvatar> 1. They didn't keep it
<@Eluvatar> 2. They weren't the first, by a long shot
<@Goobergunch> note to self
<@Goobergunch> find 42 friends
<@Goobergunch> take TNI Delegacy for one update
<@Mahaj> lol
<@Goobergunch> claim to be "The $group That Conquered TNI"

Justice Shall Not Be Abandoned... For Long,
Unibot

[The Blaatschapen]

It's with due regret that I have to leave the UDL in this parallel world because of the conflict between UDL and Nasicournia.

Blaat, Nasicournian citizen

[Argo Rhos]

Wait, when did Franco Spain return? When did TWP become powerful? I'm so confused...and when did uni become delegate? I'm looking at TWP delegeacy now and don't see you.

[Campinia]

DISCLAIMER: THIS UPDATE IS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL BEYOND THE DISCLAIMER. I do not actually represent The West Pacific et. al. As you all know, NationStates recently changed servers. This caused the update order to be all messed up, so for example, the UDL’s headquarters now updates four minutes into update. Also, update is now much shorter, which us defenders are certainly appreciating. Nonetheless, to celebrate this glorious server change, I now present to you a UDL Press Release from a parallel world where there are only eight regions and I am the tyrant emperor of the West Pacific. The joke originates from when the mods and admins were testing the new server: they re-created NationStates and were playing around in some feeders with “Unibot” as the delegate of the West Pacific among other hilarities. Please enjoy!

*points up*

[Captain Europeia]

We must fight this menace!

[Unibot II]

A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the United Defenders League,

So, this is our first *real* update in a bit (since we jumped the shark last update), sorry about that, we just got internally busy doing some things. The first thing that happened was something in real life, in fact, Earth (also known as Lyanna Stark), former Chief of Recruitment and current Osiris Pharaoh met me, Unibot, Chief of the Band. We had a nice get-together in Florida and had a fun time attempting to share an IRC account (as UniE!).

<+Blaat> i'm prolife, we should not abort missions!
@Unibot bounces (Earth)
<+Jamie> heh
<@Unibot> ...that came out wrong. O.o
<+Blaat> wait
<+Blaat> if it comes out wrong, put it back in again
<+Blaat> sorry
<+Jamie> O.o
<@Unibot> *Earth whaps Blaat*
+Blaat rubs his cheek, that hurt :)
@Unibot high-fives Blaat
<+Blaat> heh
@Unibot whaps Uni IRL
<+Blaat> masochism?
<+StGeorge> lul
+Solm has weird mental images of Earth and Uni together
<@Unibot> ...I can't win. -Earth.

That marks the first and only time that I will say “hmphies” on IRC. Earth got the full Unibotian experience, including: (1) writing an appeal to the moderators to unban me, (2) tickling me, a lot, I shall add, (3) meeting my incredibly nice parents (apparently they’re nice), (4) watching my expression of “pure horror” when I heard gossip at the dinner-table for the first time (foreign to my natural Canadian inclinations), (5) hearing how to pronounce “sorry” the Canadian (right) way.

Earth and Uni react to Catholic being raided.

Nonetheless, while I was away having fun in the Sunshine state, things apparently still revolved in NationStates. But like if the Sun had been removed from the galaxy, planets fell out of alignment and crashed into one another. Okay, so, not as dramatic as that, in fact, things ran fairly smoothly amidst my absence. Catholic however was raided by the DENTHEBLACKEUROSHAW monster; there arose several concerns for the natives’ rights and the treatment of the natives – first pressured for their religious beliefs on their Regional Message Board, and then denied their right to return with a password imposed on the region. UDL Lieutenant, Mahaj acted swiftly and drafted a liberation proposal in the World Assembly Security Council, which was recently passed, although antiquated by the raiders’ predictable removal of the password. The liberation prevents a password being imposed again by the raider delegate. Likewise, in the theme of religion, The Black Hawks are currently holding Atheist Empire, which we’ve had one attempt to liberate – we’ll be attempting another during this week.

We recently held a very productive Chiefs of Staff meeting where we decided many new things and I’ve since worked on them. (1) We have a new rank called “Senior Merryman” for those of our merrymen that demonstrate considerable expertise, (2) We will be establishing monthly awards either this month or next month which will cover a range of defender-y things and reward dedication and demonstrations of admirable conduct – our lieutenants will happily hand them out, (3) We’ve decided that having one person as the “Chief of Recruitment” hasn’t been working so great – so we’ve motioned for the creation of the Grand Recruitment Council which will feature some surprising faces (if all goes as planned) and we’ve got some big ideas planned to expand the Greenwood Band to far reaches of the forest. Lastly, congratulations to Earth on her new position as our Chief of Orientation; we’re starting up a new training program on IRC which has been so far a wild success – I’ve heard good things from new merrymen about Earth and her assistants’ classroom.

We’ve had many new members join as of late, former ADN high command, Biyah and former ADN member, Agamemnon (no, Microsoft Word’s Autocorrect, I do *not* mean AND, I mean ADN.. ugh..) from their awesome home region of Osiris. We’ve also welcomed WA Author, Libraria and Ausitoria, Welsh Cowboy, Cookie Monsters from Canada, Paper Flowers, Barronstan, Unified Provinces, Groundisred, Morphix from Dharma, New Sapienta, Nigel Farage from United Kingdom. As well as our newest Evil Condemned™ Slave-Trader, Greater Tezdrian, Jahka from Europeia and Tzeentch from the Ascendancy. In addition to our new members from NS-Sports: Ipeland, The Kangaroo Republic and Yesopalitha.

Lastly, in the Defender Awards 2012, UDL members have been racking up lots of nominations. Some of the more interesting nominations: (1) Defender of the Year features Eluvatar and myself in competition (MUHAHAHA), (2) The UDL has been nominated for Defender Group of the Year and Newcomer of the Year, (3) I think this marks the first time that a two-time winner of the NS World Cup has also been nominated for Newcomer of the Year (Zwangzug!), (4) Ballotonia, Goobergunchia, Harmoneia and Spartzerium (in order of seniority AND also alphabetical.. boo yea!) have all be nominated for a Lifetime Achievement Award, (5) I am the first time someone has been nominated for “Meltdown of the Year” and Defender of the Year, (6) Christopher Plummer has been nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Much to my shagrin, we’re all facing steep competition from TITO, FRA, UK and RRO defenders in various categories – nonetheless, the coveted award ceremonies kicks off voting in the next week or two.

Oh and Movie Night is next Saturday at 10 PM EST. I have no idea what we’re watching, but it’ll be fun. All are invited.

And pardon my indulgence, but here is your Moment of Zen:

<+New_Emperica> OMG ITS UNIBOT!
<@Unibot> ^_^
* +New_Emperica freaks out like a little fanboy.
<@Unibot> Hi!
<+New_Emperica> Hi.
<@Earth> d'aw. :P
<@Unibot> This is your first liberation, correct?
<+New_Emperica> Da.
<@Unibot> You're going to do fine.
<+New_Emperica> If push comes to shove, I have a lead pipe, some gasoline, and a pissed off cat that can be dumped on a guy's head at any time.
<+New_Emperica> I like meeting Unibot.
<@Mahaj> <New_Emperica> I like meeting Unibot. <--Uni's gonna post that quote everywhere i swear to god
<+New_Emperica> Yes, he will.
<+New_Emperica> And I'll get to be quoted by Uni.
@Earth hides behind Uni.
+New_Emperica fantasizes.

May Justice Never Be Abandoned,
Unibot

[Mallorea and Riva]

Likewise, in the theme of religion, The Black Hawks are currently holding Atheist Empire, which we’ve had one attempt to liberate – we’ll be attempting another during this week.

Swing on by any time you wish, I'll be waiting.

[SunRawr]

If my removal of the password was so predictable, then you guys knew there was no need for a Liberation.

[Fratt Armed Forces]

The removal was predictable after it clearly looked like the Liberation was going to pass, so you could say things like "Defenders use the SC even when there's no need blah blah blah".

[SunRawr]

The removal was predictable after it clearly looked like the Liberation was going to pass, so you could say things like "Defenders use the SC even when there's no need blah blah blah".

The password was removed because I am Rawr and I got bored. Any of you who know me know that and knew it would happen.

(EDIT: I need a thesaurus.)

[Mallorea and Riva]

The removal was predictable after it clearly looked like the Liberation was going to pass, so you could say things like "Defenders use the SC even when there's no need blah blah blah".

The password was removed because I am Rawr and I got bored. Any of you who know me know that and knew it would happen.

(EDIT: I need a thesaurus.)

I'll forgo any jokes and simply agree. Seriously though, still waiting in AE.

[SunRawr]

Part of the reason was also so that you guys would have a little more time to attempt a liberation. If you knew how many noobs I had TGing me that I was going to be destroyed as soon as the Liberation passed and the password was down..

[Unibot II]

The removal was predictable after it clearly looked like the Liberation was going to pass, so you could say things like "Defenders use the SC even when there's no need blah blah blah".

This, it needed to be done to force you to do the predictable.

[SunRawr]

Except I would have gotten bored and removed it faster if you hadn't reacted, another thing I would have expected you to know about me.

I must be more mysterious than I previously thought >.>

[Unibot II]

Except I would have gotten bored and removed it faster if you hadn't reacted, another thing I would have expected you to know about me.

I must be more mysterious than I previously thought >.>

Coming from the guy who doesn't even think "griefing" is real.

This is all an ad hoc brag, you would do no such thing: you'd threaten the region and claim that defenders were doing nothing to help the natives -- that fits with your M.O.