Nazis in Space wrote:Whirrs and mechanical clicking and clacking. Tiny motors powering the limbs of a vast metal frame, twisting it, turning it around. The figure stands up, four 20 mm rotary cannons going left, right, left again as the mecha's massive bulk itself moves.
It's harmless enough, since Mecha-Hitler isn't allowed weapons inside the chambers any more than anyone else is, but the rotary's menacing whirring is disconcerting enough, even if one knows that they're not loaded.
A few bubbles form inside the glass plate that separates Hitler's Brain in a Jar from the outside world. He looks angry, although admittedly, Hitler being Hitler, he always looks angry. May be the genes.
Then, the man-machine starts to speak, emitting a mechanical, metallic voice.
"Ladies and gentlemen, honoured delegates, as well as rather less honoured untermenschen and jews. My name is Adolf Hitler, and you may still know me from your highschool textbooks or your country's history channel - although I should note that your textbooks rather underestimated my esteemed Dr. Mengele's skills in brain conservation and man/ machine integration.
"I speak to you today, not as a representative of Nazi Europe - for I do not represent it, tragic and unsuitable though this state of affairs undoubtedly is - but as a representative of myself, and my people, of the nazis who made it to space and produced a flourishing civilisation of nazis in outer space."
The man/ machine/ whatever pauses dramatically, a few more bubbles rising inside the glass case that contains its brain and nutritious liquid. "You. All of you." Rotary cannons swirl dramatically as arms move in a swift motion to emphasize the point - everyone is addressed. Every delegate, everyone present. "You are hypocrites. You accuse us of invading the bolshevik menace, but I ask you, what else were we supposed to do? We had ton defend ourselves, and did so - successfully. And then the sore loser cries out in pain and pretends to be the victim, rather than the aggressor, like a Polack denying that he blew up an aryan radio station? Be not fooled by their pretentions of self-righteousness and peacefulness, by their promises to be good and proper! They're bolsheviks, a species," he almost spits out the word, and little twirls form inside the nutritious fluid in which his head swims, "aiming at nothing less than world conquest. THEY are the disease. WE are the cure. WE were the target, and we were too big for them. Simple as that.
"So maybe, my honoured, if not particularly aryan - as far as I'm aware, anyway. I'm not sure if Laos' ethnic composition has experienced significant changes in the recent past - regional Führer has used an aggressive tone in his interactions with the world at large. But how has the world treated HIM? Action causes reaction, and I don't think I need to repeat the persecution, the bias, the isolation nazis experience to this day, in this very building, not for their deeds, but merely for what they are! You cannot expect him to reply to hostility with flowers. Violence only causes more violence, and violence, open hostility against us Nazis and our beliefs, our politics is what we've been faced with throughout every stage of our presence in these halls. Can you honestly condemn a great leader like our Führer from Laos Refugees for replying in kind to the hostility he faces?
"You can condemn us. The vote as it stands certainly says so. But you cannot defeat us. And your hypocrisy, gentlemen... Your hypocrisy is disgusting. Here, my vote! I, too, shall vote to 'Condemn' Nazi Europe. But know just how pointless, how hypocritical, how filled with lies this condemnation is. You condemn us, and maybe you even believe the slander of the bolshevics, their lies and conspiracies to bring down the new man.
"But it is all for naught, for we are nazis, and nazis never surrender, never retreat. We will remain, and the lies of the mighty will not shake our faith."
Mecha-Hitler stops, the head behind the mecha's headpiece window seemingly red - the nutritious fluid isn't very good at providing oxygen, and Mecha-Hitler needs some time to recover.
Then, with another whirr of his massive quadruple 20 mm rotaries, the multi-ton frame sits down again.
...
Wait... who are you, again?