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[PASSED] Commend A Leaf on the Wind

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Fort Concord
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[PASSED] Commend A Leaf on the Wind

Postby Fort Concord » Thu Dec 22, 2022 7:15 pm

Hello everyone! I'm here with another draft, this one for A Leaf on the Wind, aka Sarah Bread. Thank you to those in the Heroes of Valhalla program and Partnership for Sovereignty server for your feedback. All feedback is welcome on this draft, thank you in advance! Character count is at 4918.

- Q

The Final/Submitted Draft:

The Security Council,

Presenting A Leaf on the Wind, commonly known as Sarah, as a diligent public servant to many regions throughout the international community, with a diverse background in cultural, military, and government roles,

Beginning the story of Sarah’s prominence in The Rejected Realms (TRR), a historic defender region with a unique culture and admission system for nations, where they served in critical positions over several years that undoubtedly enriched the strength of their community:

  • Being a cornerstone of domestic life and development via their multiple terms as Officer (minister equivalent) with the portfolios of Culture and Outreach, each twice. In these roles, Sarah enhanced the Reject experience by forming a welcome committee to integrate new members and holding numerous artistic contests such as photography and writing that were open to all,
  • Rising to the rank of Lieutenant in the Rejected Realms Army (RRA), where they protected innocent regions from harm with distinction. During their time in the RRA, Sarah spearheaded major institutional reforms in rank structure and recordkeeping in addition to training numerous individuals of diverse capability who would serve the RRA ably,
  • Serving as Delegate (head of government) of the region, during which time they maintained and grew a strong presence in the WA by pursuing and representing TRR in the establishment of the Partnership of Sovereignty, of which TRR is a founding signatory,

Inspired by Sarah’s part in organizing the Defender Olympics for three consecutive years and counting. This annual event brings together dozens of participants from defender regions and their partners, allowing them to partake in friendly competitions and demonstrate their military skills,

Noting that during their time as a defender, Sarah was also a member of The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW). Concurrent to their role as a Warden-Lieutenant (an officer-level designation), they served as the WA Delegate of the region. Sarah’s delegacy was particularly important to TGW, as it saw the formalization of the position, a marked increase in endorsements (a trend which has continued since their tenure), and the implementation of regular discussions on WA proposals,

Astonished that while also in TRR and TGW, Sarah still found time to contribute meaningfully to the government of The North Pacific. As an industrious member of the Ministry of Culture, Sarah onboarded and instructed new staffers with great proficiency, leading to a revival in the overall health of the ministry, culminating in them being appointed Minister of Culture in 2021 and continuing their excellent work there,

Appreciating Sarah’s involvement in Europeia as a politician and cultural staple of the region. During their time as Minister of Interior they oversaw highly successful recruitment efforts and capitalized on the same via integration improvements, namely establishing a regional welcoming committee to maximize the retention and experience of new Europeians,

Admiring that while Vice President of Europeia, Sarah represented them in the command team of CARD, a coalition formed in response to the seventh nuclear apocalypse. Sarah took on the often overlooked task of outreach and crowd-control, ensuring orders were smoothly carried out by smaller nations, allowing CARD and their allies to put up fierce efforts throughout the conflict,

Ending our story with Sarah’s ongoing career in Balder, a region which they became a member of in 2021. As a citizen of Balder, Sarah has contributed to a wide array of government functions that have undoubtedly bettered the community in question, such as with the following:

  • Improving the cultural presence of Balder as Minister of Engagement and Culture and later Statsminister. Similarly to their strengths in TRR, Sarah has led a variety of arts-based events, in addition to holiday celebrations and festivals with Balder’s allies,
  • Working alongside Kazaman to grow the foreign affairs and military involvement of Balder in a turbulent interregional climate. Balder’s Jomsvikings several times answered the call to service dutifully, participating in various sieges and small liberations throughout 2022, the result of Sarah’s direct involvement and encouragement,
  • Most recently, being appointed Princess of Jomsborg. This royal title is conferred upon only the most trusted and dedicated Balderans, allowing them to take a leadership role in the security and cultural development of the region,

Believing, then, that Sarah’s contributions across many regions warrant recognition, and that they are an exemplary nation in the fields of culture and regional atmosphere, as well as generating enthusiasm and involvement within their communities and prizing their ability to continually rise to the occasion,

Hereby commends [nation=long]A Leaf on the Wind[/nation].
Last edited by Sedgistan on Fri Feb 10, 2023 2:19 am, edited 14 times in total.
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Fort Concord
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Postby Fort Concord » Thu Dec 22, 2022 7:15 pm

The Security Council,

Presenting A Leaf on the Wind, commonly known as Sarah, as a diligent public servant to many regions throughout the international community, with a diverse background in cultural, military, and governing roles,

Beginning the story of Sarah’s prominence in The Rejected Realms (TRR), a historic defender region with a unique culture and immigration system, where they served in critical positions over several years that undoubtedly enriched the strength of their community,

  • Being a cornerstone of domestic life and development via their multiple terms as Officer (minister equivalent) with the portfolios of Culture and Outreach, each twice. In these roles, Sarah enhanced the Reject experience by forming a welcome committee to integrate new members and holding numerous contests based on arts such as photography and writing that were open to all,
  • Rising to the rank of Lieutenant in the Rejected Realms Army (RRA), where they protected innocent regions from harm with distinction. During their time in the RRA, Sarah spearheaded major reforms in rank structure and recordkeeping in addition to training numerous individuals who would serve the RRA ably,
  • Serving as Delegate (head of government) of the region, during which time they maintained a strong presence in the WA and pursued the establishment of the Partnership of Sovereignty, of which TRR is a founding signatory,

Inspired by Sarah’s part in organizing the Defender Olympics for three consecutive years and counting. This annual event brings together dozens of participants from defender regions and their partners, allowing them to partake in friendly competitions and demonstrate their military skills,

Noting that during their time as a defender, Sarah was also a member of The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW). They quickly earned the title of Warden-Lieutenant for their reputation and expertise as a cultural powerhouse and later served as the WA Delegate of the region. Sarah’s delegacy was particularly important to TGW, as it saw the formalization of the position, a marked increase in endorsements (a trend which has continued since their tenure), and the implementation of regular discussions on WA proposals,

Astonished that concurrent to their time in TRR and TGW, Sarah still found time to contribute meaningfully to the government of The North Pacific. As an industrious member of the Ministry of Culture, Sarah onboarded and trained new staffers with great proficiency, leading to a revival in the overall health of the ministry, culminating in them being appointed Minister of Culture in 2021 and continuing their excellent work there,

Appreciating Sarah’s involvement in Europeia as a politician and cultural staple of the region. During their time as Minister of Interior they oversaw highly successful recruitment efforts and established a regional welcome committee to maximize the experience of new Europeians. Additionally, they were the subject of an article for Project Moirai, an initiative mentioned in SC 413 “Commend Europeia” to recognize women throughout the world and their accomplishments,

Ending our story with Sarah’s ongoing career in Balder, a region which they became a member of in 2021. As a citizen of Balder, Sarah has contributed to a wide array of government functions that have undoubtedly bettered the community in question, such as with the following capacities and accomplishments,

  • Improving the cultural presence of Balder as Minister of Engagement and Culture and later Statsminister. Similarly to their strengths in TRR, Sarah has led a variety of arts based events, in addition to holiday celebrations and festivals with Balder’s allies,
  • Working alongside Kazaman to grow the foreign affairs and military involvement of Balder in a turbulent interregional climate. Balder’s Jomsvikings several times answered the call to service dutifully, participating in various sieges and small liberations throughout 2022, the result of Sarah’s direct involvement and encouragement, and
  • Most recently, being appointed Princess of Jomsborg to fill the vacancies caused by the retirement of Balder’s previous generation of leaders. This royal title is conferred upon only the most trusted and dedicated Balderans, allowing them to take a leadership role in the security and cultural development of the region,

Believing then that Sarah’s contributions across many regions warrant recognition, and that they are an exemplary nation in the fields of culture and regional atmosphere, as well as generating enthusiasm and involvement within their communities and prizing their ability to continually rise to the occasion,

Hereby commends A Leaf on the Wind.


The Security Council,

Presenting A Leaf on the Wind, commonly known as Sarah, as a diligent public servant to many regions throughout the international community, with a diverse background in cultural, military, and governing roles,

Beginning the story of Sarah’s prominence in The Rejected Realms (TRR), a historic defender region with a unique culture and admission system for nations, where they served in critical positions over several years that undoubtedly enriched the strength of their community:

  • Being a cornerstone of domestic life and development via their multiple terms as Officer (minister equivalent) with the portfolios of Culture and Outreach, each twice. In these roles, Sarah enhanced the Reject experience by forming a welcome committee to integrate new members and holding numerous contests based on arts such as photography and writing that were open to all,
  • Rising to the rank of Lieutenant in the Rejected Realms Army (RRA), where they protected innocent regions from harm with distinction. During their time in the RRA, Sarah spearheaded major reforms in rank structure and recordkeeping in addition to training numerous individuals of diverse capability who would serve the RRA ably,
  • Serving as Delegate (head of government) of the region, during which time they maintained and grew a strong presence in the WA by pursuing and representing TRR in the establishment of the Partnership of Sovereignty, of which TRR is a founding signatory,

Inspired by Sarah’s part in organizing the Defender Olympics for three consecutive years and counting. This annual event brings together dozens of participants from defender regions and their partners, allowing them to partake in friendly competitions and demonstrate their military skills,

Noting that during their time as a defender, Sarah was also a member of The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW). Concurrent to their role as a Warden-Lieutenant (an officer-level designation), they served as the WA Delegate of the region. Sarah’s delegacy was particularly important to TGW, as it saw the formalization of the position, a marked increase in endorsements (a trend which has continued since their tenure), and the implementation of regular discussions on WA proposals,

Astonished that while also in TRR and TGW, Sarah still found time to contribute meaningfully to the government of The North Pacific. As an industrious member of the Ministry of Culture, Sarah onboarded and trained new staffers with great proficiency, leading to a revival in the overall health of the ministry, culminating in them being appointed Minister of Culture in 2021 and continuing their excellent work there,

Appreciating Sarah’s involvement in Europeia as a politician and cultural staple of the region. During their time as Minister of Interior they oversaw highly successful recruitment efforts and capitalized on the same via integration improvements, namely establishing a regional welcoming committee to maximize the retention and experience of new Europeians,

Admiring that while Vice President of Europeia, Sarah represented them in the command team of CARD, a coalition formed in response to the seventh nuclear apocalypse. Sarah took on the often overlooked task of outreach and crowd-control, ensuring orders were smoothly carried out by smaller nations, allowing CARD and their allies to put up a strong fight throughout the conflict,

Ending our story with Sarah’s ongoing career in Balder, a region which they became a member of in 2021. As a citizen of Balder, Sarah has contributed to a wide array of government functions that have undoubtedly bettered the community in question, such as with the following:

  • Improving the cultural presence of Balder as Minister of Engagement and Culture and later Statsminister. Similarly to their strengths in TRR, Sarah has led a variety of arts based events, in addition to holiday celebrations and festivals with Balder’s allies,
  • Working alongside Kazaman to grow the foreign affairs and military involvement of Balder in a turbulent interregional climate. Balder’s Jomsvikings several times answered the call to service dutifully, participating in various sieges and small liberations throughout 2022, the result of Sarah’s direct involvement and encouragement,
  • Most recently, being appointed Princess of Jomsborg. This royal title is conferred upon only the most trusted and dedicated Balderans, allowing them to take a leadership role in the security and cultural development of the region,

Believing then that Sarah’s contributions across many regions warrant recognition, and that they are an exemplary nation in the fields of culture and regional atmosphere, as well as generating enthusiasm and involvement within their communities and prizing their ability to continually rise to the occasion,

Hereby commends A Leaf on the Wind.
Last edited by Fort Concord on Fri Feb 03, 2023 9:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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WayNeacTia
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Postby WayNeacTia » Thu Dec 22, 2022 10:00 pm

With as many times as the word "defender" shows up in this, I am sure it will pass by a landslide. Other than that, there is nothing special here. Most of the "achievements" are simply government members jobs.
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Postby The Orwell Society » Sat Dec 24, 2022 10:07 am

Gotta disagree with Wayne on this one. Full support, a very deserving nominee.
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Postby Zukchiva » Sun Dec 25, 2022 4:44 pm

small feedback


[*]Serving as Delegate (head of government) of the region, during which time they maintained a strong presence in the WA and pursued the establishment of the Partnership of Sovereignty, of which TRR is a founding signatory,
You have to either clarify what "maintaining a strong presence in the WA" means, since as it stands it either means Sarah consistently voted in the WA, gathered endos, or both - which is great but its also something expected of delegates and something a lot of delegates tend to achieve.

Noting that during their time as a defender, Sarah was also a member of The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW). They quickly earned the title of Warden-Lieutenant for their reputation and expertise as a cultural powerhouse and later served as the WA Delegate of the region. Sarah’s delegacy was particularly important to TGW, as it saw the formalization of the position, a marked increase in endorsements (a trend which has continued since their tenure), and the implementation of regular discussions on WA proposals,
I'd probably try to replace "for their reputation and expertise as a cultural powerhouse" with an example of a cultural benefit Sarah gave TGW that led to them ranking up; otherwise, I'd just remove anything about them being a Lieutenant because without any meaningful justification it doesn't really add much to the commend.


Appreciating Sarah’s involvement in Europeia as a politician and cultural staple of the region. During their time as Minister of Interior they oversaw highly successful recruitment efforts and established a regional welcome committee to maximize the experience of new Europeians. Additionally, they were the subject of an article for Project Moirai, an initiative mentioned in SC 413 “Commend Europeia” to recognize women throughout the world and their accomplishments,
While Project Moirai is awesome, you could probably use the characters for it for something more substantial like adding detail to Sarah's TRR accomplishments. As it is, it's narrative fluff that reads a bit weird because it's essentially saying "Sarah was found notable in this great project, therefore she's notable for the Security COuncil".


[*]Most recently, being appointed Princess of Jomsborg to fill the vacancies caused by the retirement of Balder’s previous generation of leaders. This royal title is conferred upon only the most trusted and dedicated Balderans, allowing them to take a leadership role in the security and cultural development of the region,
Similar issue as to Project Morai.
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Postby Ostrovskiy » Sun Dec 25, 2022 6:54 pm

Full support ( I was actually planning to write this before someone told me you were doing it, so how could I not? :p )
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Postby Quebecshire » Mon Dec 26, 2022 7:11 am

Ostrovskiy wrote:Full support ( I was actually planning to write this before someone told me you were doing it, so how could I not? :p )

Oops, sorry! Hopefully you're still interested in authorship. If you want help coming up with ideas or drafting feel free to stop by in the PfS Discord and we can help out! :)
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Postby The Ambis » Wed Jan 11, 2023 9:14 pm

Full support! This will be gaining my approval (assuming I don't lose my election) when it gets to the submission stage!
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Postby TheKeyToJoy » Fri Jan 13, 2023 4:02 pm

The Ambis wrote:Full support! This will be gaining my approval (assuming I don't lose my election) when it gets to the submission stage!

I think you gravedigged this one.
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Postby Westinor » Fri Jan 13, 2023 8:41 pm

TheKeyToJoy wrote:
The Ambis wrote:Full support! This will be gaining my approval (assuming I don't lose my election) when it gets to the submission stage!

I think you gravedigged this one.

My understanding is that this is an active draft, so this would not be a gravedig - though it should be noted that with the recent influx of low-effort proposals, this has been pushed further down than it might've been otherwise.

That is, full support - Sarah is amazing! - and best of luck!
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Postby Fort Concord » Sat Jan 14, 2023 8:51 am

Westinor wrote:
TheKeyToJoy wrote:I think you gravedigged this one.

My understanding is that this is an active draft, so this would not be a gravedig - though it should be noted that with the recent influx of low-effort proposals, this has been pushed further down than it might've been otherwise.


That... and my surprise preoccupation with other matters. I've started working on Zuk's feedback in my doc and will update the draft when it's done, any other comments are welcome in the meantime.

And thanks for the support!
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Postby TheKeyToJoy » Sat Jan 14, 2023 12:50 pm

Westinor wrote:
TheKeyToJoy wrote:I think you gravedigged this one.

My understanding is that this is an active draft, so this would not be a gravedig - though it should be noted that with the recent influx of low-effort proposals, this has been pushed further down than it might've been otherwise.

That is, full support - Sarah is amazing! - and best of luck!

I do agree with you, with are of the low effort proposals pushing it back more and more. See Leaf a delegate of TRR if you didn’t know.
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Postby New Anarchisticstan » Sat Jan 14, 2023 12:55 pm

Full support. I think she was the first delegate I lived under when I joined NS. Glory to bread.
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Postby Gest is Best » Mon Jan 16, 2023 3:05 am

Full support! I've had the pleasure of knowing Sarah for a good few years now and I am honestly surprised she hasn't been commended sooner. I'm not exactly the most reversed in commends and all that, but I'd like to take note of Sarah's involvement in many smaller UCRs. She hasn't just been around the larger regions, she's also got a history of helping the little guy too, something that was definitely appreciated for those communities.
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Postby RiderSyl » Mon Jan 16, 2023 5:17 am

You’re such a meme, Quebec. Leaving out Sarah’s time in Osiris is legitimately so on-brand for you, I love it
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Postby Hulldom » Mon Jan 16, 2023 8:37 am

RiderSyl wrote:You’re such a meme, Quebec. Leaving out Sarah’s time in Osiris is legitimately so on-brand for you, I love it

I mean she's been....everywhere. You'll also note her time in Empire of Mare Nostrum is also left out.
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Not A Plant
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Postby Not A Plant » Mon Jan 16, 2023 9:53 am

Sarah is one of the hardest working individuals in NS, as others have pointed out she has does a lot for a lot of folks and regions. Full Support, more than deserving. Well written as well. I enjoyed working with her during my brief stint in Europeia, lots of lovely folks over there.

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Postby Hustlertwo » Tue Jan 17, 2023 8:16 am

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Snowv
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Postby Snowv » Wed Jan 18, 2023 8:55 am

Full props

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Postby Quebecshire » Sun Jan 22, 2023 9:02 pm

Bumping for feedback now that I have more time... Zuk, still working on wrapping your's up but I figured I'd put this up for some more in the meantime. Soon™.
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Postby Nationalist Northumbria » Mon Jan 23, 2023 1:52 am

No support. Balder should stop theming themselves around a religiously-motivated terrorist organisation, the Jomsvikings. It's inappropriate for any positive recognition to be granted to such a region.
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Postby Pasybfic » Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:28 am

Nationalist Northumbria wrote:No support. Balder should stop theming themselves around a religiously-motivated terrorist organisation, the Jomsvikings. It's inappropriate for any positive recognition to be granted to such a region.


......What? The quite-possibly-mythical 11th-century Viking mercenaries were a terrorist organization?

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Fort Concord
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Postby Fort Concord » Wed Jan 25, 2023 1:54 pm

A new draft is up. A general notice for the audience that the bullets list in the OP are still things I've love to hear more thoughts on in particular.

5,042 characters (ugh), but I'm sure we can shave that down easily one way or another at some point.

Zukchiva wrote:- snip -

Alright, back on track finally. I've looked over your feedback and...

  1. I can reword this if needed, but I think "maintain and grew" being followed by "via being critical in establishing the PfS" does provide a specific example for elevating TRR's visibility and engagement in the WA, especially on a political and inter-regional level.
  2. I've reworded this, it should be a little more clear, or have less filler, if nothing else.
  3. Removed, thank you. See the below (and new) "Admiring" clause for some more Europeia based content. Yes yes, everyone, I know CARD lost. But the outreach/noob-wrangling shit is hard and takes a lot of effort and often goes under the radar while the 300+ puppet players are having their pissing matches on N-Day, so I think it warrants inclusion since Sarah was carrying CARD's effort in that regard as far as I know (happy to be corrected, though).
  4. Tentatively keeping it for now (I think it's more directly relevant than Morai as Morai was just a publication, whereas this is a position that requires serious qualifications and trust in a sinker), but still open to reconisdering if this becomes a common theme.
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Fort Concord
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Postby Fort Concord » Thu Jan 26, 2023 1:37 pm

Implemented some off-site suggestions to bring the character count down, which is now at 4,957.
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Fort Concord
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Postby Fort Concord » Fri Jan 27, 2023 11:40 pm

Tentatively planning to submit this towards the end of Commend Mokastana being at vote, presuming that goes forward without an issue (i.e. in about ~6 days, I'll move it to last call at the next SC vote after WS).
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