[DEFEATED] commend "A Mean Old Man"

[JURISDICTIONS]

Oh my Days, the edits are just meant to be summaries of what I changed, not further rules. What I had in mind was "what's inside NS" -- no links to outside sites to explain, say, Nazism, but fair enough to link to an example of that nation's Nazism within the NS world.

I figured that, since each C&C is a once-off, it was probably fair to condemn or commend on the basis of conditions existing at the time of the commendation or condemnation -- similar situation to the ruling that House of Cards violations don't apply in the SC.

Surely by "NS links" you meant links to regions or nations, which are the only links that work in proposals?

If you see this thread here...http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=48466 and go about half-way down the posts you encounter Ard... with sample resolutions....she puts links in the resolutions that go to NS forums...

So Does this mean that my proposal can have NS forum links in it?

[Sedgistan]

The [url] tag doesn't work in actual resolutions though, so I'm guess she was just suggesting you post it on the forum in that format.

[JURISDICTIONS]

The [url] tag doesn't work in actual resolutions though, so I'm guess she was just suggesting you post it on the forum in that format.

Really are you sure?

[Sedgistan]

99% sure.

[JURISDICTIONS]

Why did Ard put it like that? If it can't be done...

Do you think the proposal would be OK without the url tags?

Should i submit it?

[Sedgistan]

I'd recommend waiting until a mod can confirm whether or not they can be used in proposals.

[Naivetry]

I'm pretty sure it can't be done.

Some stylistic things - take or leave them as you like.

CELEBRATES AMOM’s readiness to share fruits of artistic skill with the world by creating works of art at request for individual nations to treasure;

To match your other clauses, this should be a participle - CELEBRATING. The phrase "share fruits of artistic skill" is also a little repetitive/confusing. Perhaps just, CELEBRATING AMOM's readiness to create and share works of art for individual nations upon request;

ASTONISHED that AMOM can show a permanent exhibition of great works of its art in a place called “AMOM's NSPaint Cartoon Gallery”;

Ah, grasshopper - are we astonished that he... sorry, "the nation" ... is able to put on an exhibition, or are we more astonished at the exhibition's quality? Also, I hate "it" applied to nations, so if it were me, I'd phrase it like this: ASTONISHED at the numerous great works of art permanently exhibited in "AMOM's NSPaint Cartoon Gallery";

ALL-AROUND IMPRESSED by AMOM’s willingness to do creative works, without requiring any support from the international community, or any established organization;

I'm curious about what support "the international community or any established organization" would have given him AMOM, that we should be impressed that he the nation went without it. I can't think of anything off-hand, and so at the moment this strikes me as a superfluous clause.

GIVING PROFOUND APPROVAL of AMOM for efforts to spread information about the artistry and creativity of other nations;

I'm not familiar with this aspect of AMOM's work. Got a link?

NOTING that AMOM is free of any discrimination in displaying of artwork or the informing of the world of artistic works of other nations;

This could easily be combined with the clause above, and should be to avoid repetition.

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING AMOM’s extensive proficiency and grasp in the World Assembly's workings, Resolutions, and enforcement of such resolutions. It is by understanding these concepts that AMOM has introduced marvelous resolutions to the Security Council, which bring about the betterment of the global community;

You've got a sentence break in there, which messes up the flow of the introductory clauses. "Marvelous" resolutions strikes me as over-the-top, particularly since there are no specific resolutions cited to back up the point. Here you're encountering a problem opposite to the superfluous clauses on art - you're trying to cram a whole lot of AMOM's work into a single bitty clause. Try breaking it up and adding specificity, like:

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING AMOM's extensive proficiency in and understanding of the World Assembly's procedures, Resolutions, and enforcement measures;

PRAISING AMOM for employing this expertise in the introduction of numerous resolutions meant to bring about the betterment of the global community, including:

1) Marvelous Resolution #1
2) Marvelous Resolution #2
3) etc.

(Can nations understand or have proficiencies? I don't know.)

GRATEFUL FOR AMOM’s overall intellectual ability when advising other nations on courses of action;

Based not on the ineffectual, arbitrary discrimination of Rule 4's "IC/OOC", but based on the distinction between C/C'ing for what someone has done as opposed to who they are, I would object to this clause. Intellectual ability is a personal characteristic, and no matter how true a given assessment may be, the WA has no business judging persons - just the quality of their actions. This may seem like a minor point, but it makes a big difference - characterize the actions, don't judge the character. I'd prefer something like this:

GRATEFUL for the sound advice distributed by AMOM to other nations on matters of (fill in the blank - what advice were you thinking about, here?)

*picks up floofy drink with umbrella in it, and goes to sit somewhere in the shade*

I expect 3WB will be voting against this.

EDIT: Typo.

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

To match your other clauses, this should be a participle - CELEBRATING. The phrase "share fruits of artistic skill" is also a little repetitive/confusing. Perhaps just, CELEBRATING AMOM's readiness to create and share works of art for individual nations upon request;

"members of the NationStates community" sounds to me like better (and 4th-rule appropriate) phrasing than the strangeness of supplying cartoon art to "nations."

You've got a sentence break in there, which messes up the flow of the introductory clauses. "Marvelous" resolutions strikes me as over-the-top, particularly since there are no specific resolutions cited to back up the point. Here you're encountering a problem opposite to the superfluous clauses on art - you're trying to cram a whole lot of AMOM's work into a single bitty clause. Try breaking it up and adding specificity, like:

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING AMOM's extensive proficiency in and understanding of the World Assembly's procedures, Resolutions, and enforcement measures;

PRAISING AMOM for employing this expertise in the introduction of numerous resolutions meant to bring about the betterment of the global community, including:

1) Marvelous Resolution #1
2) Marvelous Resolution #2
3) etc.

As the main focus of this resolution seems to be on AMOM's artistic talents rather than his WA contributions, I'd advise against breaking up the WA section and making it sound like two commendations awkwardly squished into one. The way it's formatted now is fine.

[Naivetry]

As the main focus of this resolution seems to be on AMOM's artistic talents rather than his WA contributions, I'd advise against breaking up the WA section and making it sound like two commendations awkwardly squished into one. The way it's formatted now is fine.

In that case, I wonder if that clause is helpful at all or just distracting. I agree that the focus of the OP is on the artistic contributions, but as much as I love AMOM's cartoons, I don't know that I'd Commend him just for that. If the other things he's done are important to his Commendation, than they should be mentioned as well; if they aren't, then they shouldn't be included at all, I would think.

EDIT: I have just finished looking through the entirety of AMOM's gallery for the first time. I would indeed Commend him just for that.

[JURISDICTIONS]

GIVING PROFOUND APPROVAL of AMOM for efforts to spread information about the artistry and creativity of other nations;

I'm not familiar with this aspect of AMOM's work. Got a link?

It is in the first post of the proposal!



Thank you both for your input; if you want to add more it will be appreciated. I should be updating the original post soon.

[Naivetry]

GIVING PROFOUND APPROVAL of AMOM for efforts to spread information about the artistry and creativity of other nations;

I'm not familiar with this aspect of AMOM's work. Got a link?

It is in the first post of the proposal!

Oh, right, there it is. *coughs* Let me pretend that that was a subtle way of pointing out that that clause could use more detail. >_>

And I see that the thread title includes that horrible "player" word, but you could just add through the creation of a directory of art galleries, instead.

"Giving profound approval" - eh. I'd say "expressing its" or something like that instead, because 'give approval' means something closer to 'give permission'. It sounds like rubberstamping, rather than praising.

[Unibot]

I expect 3WB will be voting against this.

We'll commend him, properly, after this infernal rule bites the dust. *nods*

[Krioval]

I expect 3WB will be voting against this.

We'll commend him, properly, after this infernal rule bites the dust. *nods*

Will you let it go already? Not every thread in the SC needs to be about that, does it?

[Ardchoille]

If you see this thread here...http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=48466 and go about half-way down the posts you encounter Ard... with sample resolutions....she puts links in the resolutions that go to NS forums...

So Does this mean that my proposal can have NS forum links in it?

Eh, I was one jump ahead of myself on that. I've been talking to Pyth about a [ thread] link that would work the same way the region and nation ones do, but we haven't got to the "dunnit" stage yet. If you want to submit this right now, the workarounds Nai has provided sound good.

[Unibot]

If you see this thread here...http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=48466 and go about half-way down the posts you encounter Ard... with sample resolutions....she puts links in the resolutions that go to NS forums...

So Does this mean that my proposal can have NS forum links in it?

Eh, I was one jump ahead of myself on that. I've been talking to Pyth about a [ thread] link that would work the same way the region and nation ones do, but we haven't got to the "dunnit" stage yet. If you want to submit this right now, the workarounds Nai has provided sound good.

Similar to the [thread] BBcode from the jolt days?

[Ardchoille]

Similar to the [thread] BBcode from the jolt days?

Don't confuse me with science, Uni!

[JURISDICTIONS]

World Assembly Security Council

Submitted Proposal

Commend “A mean old man”
A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.


Category: Commendation | Nominee: A mean old man | Proposed by: JURISDICTIONS

Description:

The World Assembly Security Council,

ACKNOWLEDGING the great art talent of “A Mean Old Man” (AMOM);

CELEBRATING AMOM's readiness to create and share works of art for members of the NationStates international community upon request;

ASTONISHED at the numerous great works of art permanently exhibited in “AMOM's NSPaint Cartoon Gallery”;

ALL-AROUND IMPRESSED by AMOM’s willingness to do creative works, without any payment or incentive from the international community, or any established organization;

EXPRESSING PROFOUND APPROVAL of AMOM for efforts to spread information about the artistry and creativity of other nations, through the creation of a directory of art galleries;

NOTING that AMOM is free of any discrimination in: displaying of artwork or informing of the world of artistic works of other nations;

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING AMOM’s extensive proficiency and grasp in the World Assembly's workings, Resolutions, and enforcement of such resolutions; and by understanding these concepts that AMOM has introduced marvelous resolutions to the Security Council, which bring about the betterment of the global community;

GRATEFUL for the sound advice distributed by AMOM to other nations on matters of diplomacy, WA legislation, and political affairs.

CONCLUDING that AMOM’s actions have merited a proportionally awe-inspiring reward;

HEREBY COMMENDS “A Mean Old Man” for furthering the causes of Art, Culture, and Society.

This has been edited four times so far do to edit suggestions from: Nai, kenny, Pythria, and oh my days.

This proposal has now been submitted to the World Assembly Security Council.

The Proposal has been submitted...

[Charlotte Ryberg]

The honoured ambassador from Charlotte Ryberg has approved the proposal.

The honoured ambassador from A Mean Old Man has not only transformed the Security Council, but he has also made great talent by showing how Paint is still useful amid the sophisticated graphic design programs of today. Ms. Harper does admit to be a Photoshop/Illustrator addict, but also admits that Paint is still useful (although we think the XP version was much better as we still run old games for nostalgia, and those games still only render 256 colours.)

[Naivetry]

Will you let it go already? Not every thread in the SC needs to be about that, does it?

Given that none of them are at the moment, perhaps a passing mention might be excused?

Eh, I was one jump ahead of myself on that. I've been talking to Pyth about a [ thread] link that would work the same way the region and nation ones do, but we haven't got to the "dunnit" stage yet. If you want to submit this right now, the workarounds Nai has provided sound good.

Please, no... we already feel like second-class citizens, but at least everyone's forum activity has always been on equal footing as far as the game code was concerned.

[Unibot]

I expect 3WB will be voting against this.

We'll commend him, properly, after this infernal rule bites the dust. *nods*

Will you let it go already? Not every thread in the SC needs to be about that, does it?

Yes, Krioval.

Maybe I'm just interested to see if the mods would lock the entire subforum down to complete the censorship.

[Sanctaria]

The Sanctarian delegation, currently acting also as the official regional delegation, has approved this proposal.

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with the fact that AMOM is the founder of the region that I am currently delegate of. Or that he drew a nice picture of me using MSPaint. Nothing I say, nothing!

[JURISDICTIONS]

I need one more approval from regional WA Delegates!

[Sedgistan]

Cast the first vote - against of course

[Oh my Days]

Cast the first vote - against of course

I cast the second

[Mad Sheep Railgun]

Why do I suspect that this commendation is nothing more than an exercise to demonstrate the awesome power of 3WB?