NationStates

Okay, so this is an extremely rough first draft. I found it a little hard to write some of this, and other parts I feel didn't really come out that great and could use some fixing. Any ideas on re-writing would be greatly appreciated, as well as any additional ideas on what to add.

The Security Council,

Believing that Security Council resolutions such as Condemnations and Commendations are used to highlight either the bad deeds or good deeds of nations, and act as a historical record passed into law by the international community of World Assembly nations;

Arguing that there is a nation in existence that the international community of World Assembly nations should condemn for its actions and that this nation, known as A Bloodred Moon, is truly despicable and heinous in its deeds throughout the multiverse;

Acknowledging the fact that the people of A Bloodred Moon had their beginnings within the nation of Armaros, which resides in the region of Unknown, and that within the region of Unknown they learned both military and governance tactics which allowed them to succeed and lead in other regions of ill-repute;

Noting that the main region of ill-repute A Bloodred Moon has chosen to lead has been the one known as Lone Wolves United, a region that has been condemned by this council once before, and that their leadership has resulted in the resurrection of this said region from virtual inactivity beyond the capability of any other leader within this region before them;

Listing A Bloodred Moon's accomplishments within Lone Wolves United to be many, including the following:

• Reviving the region from a state of inactivity that lasted from May 2018 to the point when they were appointed as Khan of the region, increasing the population from a dismal 25 nations to over 350 nations at this time while having a peak of over 500 nations in March 2022.
  
• Growing the raider military composition of Lone Wolves United from 5 to 6 active nations to somewhere between 40 and 50 nations within the last three year period, an explosive increase that has led to the revival of one of NationStates' most destructive raider forces ever seen.
  
• Creating a forum for regional national leaders to come together to discuss destructive attacks upon innocent regions, as well as to create a filing system for the regional records that were previously held in another place that was destroyed by the will of the gods.

Distraught over the amount of chaos and destruction that A Bloodred Moon has wrought throughout the multiverse, either by their national forces participating in attacking innocent regions or by their willingness to order the overall military forces of Lone Wolves United to participate in these activities, such as the attacks on:

• The Embassy, a region which was locked away with a password only known to a select few national leaders. This raid was conducted using a spy within the regional ranks in order to learn the password, which led to an attack that resulted in over 3,500 embassies with other regions being closed. The largest embassy closure from a raid ever accomplished.
  
• ASEAN Region on February 1st 2020, where over 90 raider nations came together to attack a region of around 30 nations. In this raid around 25 native nations were ejected from the region, making it extremely vulnerable to becoming refounded. The region never recovered from this attack and now sits inactive.
  
• Asia on April 19th 2020, where over 80 nations from various raider regions came together to occupy the region. The occupation lasted for 8 days, culminating in the removal of a handful of the lesser influenced native nations within the region.
  
• A Liberal Haven in early January of 2022, where the government of A Bloodred Moon organized and recruited other raider nations to pile upon the raider delegate nation within the region. This invasion saw over 200 invading nations and 9 organizations involved, ultimately leading to a few native nations being ejected from the region after it was passworded on the suggestion of A Bloodred Moon's colony nation. This nation acted as a Regional Officer throughout the entire occupation and its hand in the occupation led to the Security Council passing a Liberation in order to free the region from oppressing forces.

Aghast at the fact that A Bloodred Moon has been more than willing to attack regions inhabited by the extremely powerful nations of the multiverse, ranging from the region of Q102 which is inhabited by Pythagosaurus to the region of The Cuckoos Egg which is inhabited by Salusasecondus.

Stating that A Bloodred Moon needs to be condemned by the international community for their actions across the multiverse of NationStates,

Hereby condemns the nation of A Bloodred Moon.

Hi Lenly :)

I think Jo is Condemnable and I can see myself supporting this once it's more developed, but this draft still needs a lot of work.

Lenlyvit wrote:Stating that A Bloodred Moon has held many leadership positions within the raider community including leading the military forces of the region Unknown, one of the oldest raider regions in existence

Can you find information on what specific invasions or operations they led Unknown into?

Lenlyvit wrote:, and spending over two years as Khan of Lone Wolves United, where they've revived a dormant destructive raider region into a military powerhouse;

Can you add more detail here? e.g. by how much it grew, possibly operation stats (like the ones in Commend Xoriet) or major operations, etc.?

Lenlyvit wrote:Horrified by the amount of regions that the colonies of A Bloodred Moon has helped to attack, as well as engaging in ejecting resident nations, throughout the last four years including but not limited to:

• The region of ASEAN Region on February 7th 2020, where five different Raider and Independent aligned regions came together to clear the region of all nations inhabiting it and to lock it behind a password to prevent re-entry;
• The region of Asia on April 18th 2020, where the raiding forces cleared all but less than a dozen inhabiting nations from the region in a mass purge of locals that left the region full of raider and defender colony nations for months;
• The region of The Embassy in February of 2021, where over 3,000 regional embassies were closed in the single biggest closure in the history of the multiverse by raider forces focused solely on that task;

Does this refer to just piling in these operations...? If not please say what specific role Jo had, because I'm fairly confused right now :P if it's just piling, this seems like very fluffy.

Lenlyvit wrote:Believing that although A Bloodred Moon, through the use of it's puppet government in Redpeppers within the region of The Hole To Hide In, may have some redeeming qualities through their efforts to guide the region's community and protect it from truly heinous nations they are still a worthy nation of being condemned by this body;

Does this refer to being a moderator in THHTHI? I don't think that's really worth mentioning. You could use something better in "redeeming qualities", e.g. they're a leader in Lazarus if you can find information about that, or their SC work, etc.

Definitely a worthy and deserving candidate, but I agree that you are going to need to flesh it out with more content (which I know exists) and pursues the story of how Jo has furthered raiding. You are lacking the narrative quality that makes me care about the target and causes me to believe that they are outstanding or unique in the way they have worked for their faction. For instance, you only briefly mention that Jo is a part of LWU. What has Jo's role in there been? Has he revolutionised or brought about reform and development in LWU (or anywhere else)? Has he trained hosts of raiders? Are these few targets the only notable ones that he had a role in during his tenure?

Further, stay true to the theme. Do not inspire the thought that the Security Council is unsure about the nominee by mentioning non-condemnable work, Re: THTHI.

Full support for this one, Jo's an extremely deserving candidate.

Welcome back to drafting in the SC Lenly!

Your nominee is definitely a worthy candidate for a Condemnation. However, as you freely acknowledge this is still a rough draft.

As others have pointed out there are more details required on the nominee’s actions and some of the language in the draft is in need of refining from my first read through if it. Otherwise it’s a good start.

I think you’re lacking in LWU content - while I’m not an expert in Jo’s history, I’m fairly sure most of it’s been in there & they revived from being basically dead. At the moment, I don’t feel this is properly reflected (especially the latter point).

Can't think of a more deserving candidate, Jo is quite possible the only raider that anyone should have true respect for. This is a man who has stood by his ideals and morals, despite political pressures and paradigm shifts. Full support, can't wait to see this on the floor.

jo mama

I'll get to work on the suggestions, thanks! I'm looking at this as a long project, not a quick one so it may be awhile before I have updates due to RL.

Lenlyvit wrote:I'll get to work on the suggestions, thanks! I'm looking at this as a long project, not a quick one so it may be awhile before I have updates due to RL.

I'm just posting a general update, I plan on getting back into this this week. Things in real life have been extremely hectic for me since February with my job, and I haven't had any free time to speak of.

Full support

Am I the only one that thinks that the resolution is a little short on content? Only three rather important raids are mentioned, the rest seems like filler or just vague. What did they do in Unknown? What about their SC contributions (could be worth mentioning)? I think jo was in TBH for some time as well so there’s probably some stuff from there you could include. Is there anything particularly unique that stands out as a condemn worthy action besides tagging some site admins regions?

Honeydewistania wrote:Am I the only one that thinks that the resolution is a little short on content? Only three rather important raids are mentioned, the rest seems like filler or just vague. What did they do in Unknown? What about their SC contributions (could be worth mentioning)? I think jo was in TBH for some time as well so there’s probably some stuff from there you could include. Is there anything particularly unique that stands out as a condemn worthy action besides tagging some site admins regions?

Their past actions are... Unknown.

This is actually a good critique though. Jo's done far more than the resolution mentions and it would be nice to see it fleshed out a lot more.

I would probably focus much more on LWU than Unknown; anything to do with us is going to be a byline, because Unknown itself hasn't done much.

I think it would be cool to see Unknown get mentioned as a place of learning/stepping stone for Jo. It could be framed that the knowledge he gained there was then applied to rebuild LWU back into the powerhouse it is today, instead of going with a generic mention with vague achievements to boot with it.

Disclaimer: I know little about his time in Unknown, just throwing this idea out in the open

Jo is a worthy nominee for a commendation, so I definitely support the idea. I am looking forward to the next draft to see if there are comments I can make. Good luck with this proposal!

Lenlyvit wrote:

The Security Council,

Convinced that there are some nations in existence throughout the multiverse that are truly heinous in their objectives, and that it is the duty of this body to bring their actions to light in a manner as to inform the community;

Informing the Security Council that the name of such a nation as this is A Bloodred Moon, a nation so heinous as to strike fear into innocent communities to the point that they lock themselves behind passwords in order to avoid them and the nations they colonize in order to do their bidding;

Stating that A Bloodred Moon has held many leadership positions within the raider community including leading the military forces of the region Unknown, one of the oldest raider regions in existence, and spending over two years as Khan of Lone Wolves United, where they've revived a dormant destructive raider region into a military powerhouse;

Observing that the actions of A Bloodred Moon, and its colonies, include participating in non-destructive raids when politically applicable, as well as leading raider militaries into occupations that can sometimes lead to destruction, such as native nations being banned from their home regions;

Horrified by the amountnumber of regions that the colonies of A Bloodred Moon has helped to attack, as well as engaging in ejecting resident nations, throughout the last four years including but not limited to:

• The region of ASEAN Region on February 7th 2020, where five different Raider and Independent aligned regions came together to clear the region of all nations inhabiting it and to lock it behind a password to prevent re-entry;
• The region of Asia on April 18th 2020, where the raiding forces cleared all but less than a dozen inhabiting nations from the region in a mass purge of locals that left the region full of raider and defender colony nations for months;
• The region of The Embassy in February of 2021, where over 3,000 regional embassies were closed in the single biggest closure in the history of the multiverse by raider forces focused solely on that task;

Noting further that the leaders of A Bloodred Moon have shown true grit and determination to upset the balance of the multiverse by attacking regions home to nations of godlike status, such as the regions of Q102 and The Cuckoos Egg which are home to the nations of Pythagosaurus and Salusasecondus in that order;

Believing that although A Bloodred Moon, through the use of it'sits puppet government in Redpeppers within the region of The Hole To Hide In, may have some redeeming qualities through their efforts to guide the region's community and protect it from truly heinous nations they are still a worthy nation of being condemned by this body;

Hereby Condemns A Bloodred Moon.

A few minor quibbles here and there.

I know it's been a long time coming, but draft two is up. I know it needs a lot of work!

Spelling mistake in the paragraph prior to the operative clause; “fro their actions” should be “for their actions”.

It was only a very quick read through V2, but that caught my eye.

OOC: What's so special about attacking a region just because some inactive old admin resides there? I'd think that attacking a region with active members would be more of note than hitting those dead regions. Just saying.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Spelling mistake in the paragraph prior to the operative clause; “fro their actions” should be “for their actions”.

It was only a very quick read through V2, but that caught my eye.

Thanks BBD, I missed that.

West Barack and East Obama wrote:OOC: What's so special about attacking a region just because some inactive old admin resides there? I'd think that attacking a region with active members would be more of note than hitting those dead regions. Just saying.

It adds a certain appeal to it lol. They're admins, you generally don't mess with them.

West Barack and East Obama wrote:OOC: What's so special about attacking a region just because some inactive old admin resides there? I'd think that attacking a region with active members would be more of note

This is the fire I live for

So, it's been four days and I'm hoping to receive some feedback on the newest draft. I know it definitely still needs work to become better.

The draft is definitely coming along well. Jo is one of, if not the only truly worthy opponent among the raider leaders.

Personally, I don’t vibe with the inclusion of a clause about admin owned regions, but it’s not a dealbreaker.

As far as content is concerned, I believe Jo's role in the historic raids on A Liberal Haven, during which Maineiacs lost his 2,000 day residency streak, along with his role organizing combatting the siege of The Mystical Council, the first major refound in (a long time). Should be noted in his Condemnation.