[PASSED] Commend Calvin Coolidge

[Hulldom]

No, not the President of the United States silly, the former President of Europeia!

This is the first draft coming from Europeia, The North Pacific, and Balder's Heroes of Valhalla program, so let's see how this one goes.

As a side note, Pathoal's co-authorship is left out of here because everything inside the box will eventually be copy+pasted over if and (hopefully) when this is submitted.

Commend Calvin Coolidge

Commendation | Nominee: Calvin Coolidge

The Security Council,

Recognizing that region-building achievements do not fit into a black or white binary, but rather sit along a highly diverse spectrum;

Believing that one nation contributing to the direction of Europeia across a diverse array of policy areas over the last eight years is Calvin Coolidge, commonly known as Calvin;

Revering Calvin's incredible contributions to the sector of recruitment while working in Europeia's Ministry of the Interior, where they:

• Prodigiously assisted with recruitment efforts by starting the "Daily Dose" program, which encouraged small-batch recruitment and ultimately saw over 120,000 recruitment invitations sent under the nominee's oversight during 4 distinguished terms as Minister of the Interior, and
• Contributing an unmatchable 100,000 recruitment invitations on their own, allowing for countless new nations to plant their roots in the soil of Europeia and distinguishing them as the most prolific recruiter ever to grace the region;

Cherishing Calvin’s leadership of, and work put into, the former Citizens’ Assembly of Europeia, a body notable for its representatives being the corpus of the Europeian citizenry; they provided members with an effective introduction to lawmaking, debate, and Europeian legislative procedures, mentored new members of the region to prominence like Kuramia, and shaped Europeian law by tirelessly promoting and interacting with the work of the Citizens' Assembly;

Appreciating the efforts Calvin has contributed to the twin pillars of diplomacy and culture through their many tenures as President of Europeia, showing deft skill in concluding such agreements as:

• The Treaty of Friendship Between The West Pacific and Europeia (2016), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between two diplomatic powers of the multiverse that culminated in the “Festival of Friendship” bringing together those two regions and Equilism in a joyous celebration of friendship, and
• The Treaty of Spomenik with The Communist Bloc (2021), a commemoration of camaraderie between two of the most influential regions in the world that began with a week-long celebration attended by national leaders of both regions and replete with all manners of enjoyment;

Admiring Calvin's tireless devotion to the media scene in Europeia, enriching both the region's written and spoken publications through:

• Their operation of “The Panda’s Pen”, their own regional media outlet providing news and opinion on a variety of hot-button issues, that has operated continuously for almost eight uninterrupted years, creating the modern methodology for reporting on Europeian polling,
• Their leadership of the EBC (Europeian Broadcasting Corporation) Radio, an outlet used to entertain, inform, and forge stronger bonds between national leaders of Europeia and the wider multiverse, and
• Their oversight of the Organization of Independent Media, through which they have brought together a smorgasbord of thought and opinion leaders from across Europeia to spotlight and reward contributions from independent writers and provide a forum for collaboration within media;

Esteeming Calvin's indefatigable work in the region of Albion, including their tenure as Knight Interior where they successfully reformed Albion's civil service by changing the system of appointment to the civil service from Crown appointment to self-appointment, opening up governmental service to all citizens and allowing the region to flourish;

Extolling then the accomplishments of this nation across the varied domains they embraced and saluting their commitment to excellence wherever they have been involved;

Hereby Commends Calvin Coolidge.

Co-authored by Pathoal and Thousand Branches

[Guess and Check]

Feedback. Main issue is you lack elaboration in some areas, and some of the clauses are written a bit weird. But I think overall it's a good start.

Revering the contributions of Calvin to encourage new nations in the multiverse to put down shoots in Europeian soil through their work as theirrecruitment efforts as part of Europeia’s Ministry of the Interior where they:

Cut out some part that made this highly confusing. However, still reads long-winded to me and probably warrants some shortening.

• Assisted prodigiously with recruitment efforts by starting the “Daily Dose” program to encourage small-batch recruitment, thus encouraging and facilitating the sending out nearly 120,000 invitations by others to join Europeia sent out over their 4 terms in that office, and

Suggest rewritte: "Prodigiously assisted with recruitment efforts by starting the "Daily Dose" program, which encouraged small-batch recruitment and ultimately saw over 120,000 recruitment invitations sent under the nominee's oversight during 4 distinguished terms,"

Or maybe not exactly that as Im not sure if what i suggested is too much better, but overall fix the flow of the clause is what I'm suggesting.

Also not sure about "invitations", personally sounds a bit weird to me when one can just say "recruitment telegrams".

Single-handedly contributed some 96,000 invitations on their own, a feat that distinguishes them as the most prolific recruiter ever to grace Europeia sender of invitations to join Europeia in that region’s history;

Left a suggestion - main point is "to join europeia in that region's history" sounds weird and can be rephrased better.

Also ditto on what I said about invitations just before this.

Cherishing the Calvin’s leadership of, and work put into, the former Citizens’ Assembly of Europeia, a body notable for its representatives being the corpus of the Europeian citizenry, providing for an effective introduction to lawmaking, debate, and Europeian legislative procedures, allowing new national leaders to learn how, and occasionally to, shape Europeian law in the way Calvin Coolidge has;

This does not explain anything about what Calvin has accomplished in the Citizens' Assembly. I would suggest elaborating more on Calvin's leadership and work, rather than explaining what the CA is/was. (Do explain the CA, just spend less time on it)

Appreciative of the efforts Calvin has contributed to the twin pillars of diplomacy and culture through their many tenures as President of Europeia, showing deft skill in concluding suchagreements such as:

This may sound abstract but saying "twin pillars of diplomacy and culture" sounds like those are things highly important to Europeia, but that isnt conveyed well in this clause.

• The Treaty of Friendship Between The West Pacific and Europeia (2016), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between two diplomatic powers of the multiverse that culminated in the “Festival of Friendship” bringing together those two regions, and noted friend of Europeia Equilism, in a joyous celebration of friendship,

I feel this is long-winded and needs to be shortened.

I'm also not sure how it looks to say "the Festival is the culimination of the treaty". I get you're saying Calvin probably worked on said festival, but it makes it sound like TWP & Europeia did nothing much after the festival. Would suggest rewording that.

The Treaty of Spomenik with The Communist Bloc (2021), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between the largest region in NSLeft and Europeia, concluding in a week-long celebration attended by national leaders of both regions replete with all manners of enjoyment, and

Same for this - sounds a bit weird to say "the treaty concluded in a week-long celebration", if you see what I mean. This also sounds a bit too structurally similar to the last clause, although I can understand why - try changing it up a bit with this clause, beyond using synonymous phrases, if you can.

The Treaty of Lucent with Thaecia (2021), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between a newfound pillar of the independent sphere and Calvin’s home region, concluding in yet another week-long festival attended by yet more national leaders to celebrate their mutual friendship;

Same feedback as the Treaty of Spomenik clause.

Bewildered by the trove of Europeian law Calvin Coolidge both provided input on and participated in the passage of during their 8 ½ terms as Senator of the Europeian Senate, including 1 ½ of those terms as Chairman of that body, for example shepherding the passage of the Citizenship Act (2019), a pillar of Europeian law which governs how nations gain formal membership or “Citizenship” in that region;

I would suggest focusing less on how Calvin served as a Senator for so long and more about what bills he authored, what legal concepts he introduced (if he participated as a Senator, then he probably did suggest some legal concepts that are important in Europeian law even if he didn't author any laws), and/or what he changed in Senate procedures as Chairman.

Admiring Calvin’s efforts to build and bolster a strong media scene in both written and audio forms in Europeia, a fact evident through:

Makes it read better

• Their operation of “The Panda’s Pen”, their own regional media outlet providing news and opinion on a variety of hot-button issues, that has operated continuously for almost eight uninterrupted years,

This is fine as-is but I feel you can go slightly deeper - how did The Panda's Pen specifically better the media landscape? Did it inspire new media practices? Hold officials accountable? Offered new insights into political discourse? Etc.

Calvin’s leadership of EBC (Europeian Broadcasting Corporation) Radio, an outlet used to entertain, inform, and forge stronger bonds between national leaders of both Europeia and the multiverse, and

This does not explain well enough what Calvin did for the EBC Radio. Did he just warm the seat? Or did he run shows, lead new initiatives, and take the Radio in a new direction? As it is, you're mostly explaining what the Radio is, not what Calvin did in it that ultimately helped build up Europeia's media scene.

Their overseeing of the Organization of Independent Media, an organization bringing together a variety of thought and opinion leaders from across Europeian media to both notice and reward contributions from independent media and provide a forum for collaboration within media;

Same issue as prior; you're explaining with OIM does, not Calvin's contributions to it. Elaborate more on what Calvin did to better improve the OIM and therefore Europeia's media.

Esteeming the efforts of Calvin Coolidge to the region of Albion, including their tenure as Knight Interior, wherein they successfully reformed the civil service of that region, opening up governmental service to all interested members of that region, leading to a flourishing of that region’s government;

Not bad, I would say reword it to use less commas though. And how did Calvin specifically reform the civil service? It's a bit unclear whether his reform was opening up the service or something else.

Treasuring too the recognitions already bestowed on this nation, particularly their receipt of Europeia’s highest honor, an Ovation, and their receipt of the title Baron of Bastion and Knight Commander of the Mace in Albion, all signs of sustained excellence and impactful contributions to those regions;

Cognizant that while the honors and recognition already received may, to some, be enough, but

Prizing then the efforts of this well-rounded and long-serving nation to Europeia and thus to the multiverse, and desirous of a further reward for their prodigious efforts;

I'm not sure if I would put in awards within a commendation. The commend itself is, partially, an award of recognition. In the same way no proper award citation would mention that someone received another award, I personally feel a commendation shouldn't mention awards a nation has received.

But of course, up to you what you wish to do with this.

[Hulldom]

To clarify, Zuk. Not ignoring your comments, I have seen them. I haven't had the opportunity to much read them due to IRL stuff going on today. Will read/respond/edit in a bit.

Edit: have now had the chance to read over/edit. The mechanical stuff has been hashed out with the exception of the diplomacy clause. Will work on stuff relating to the media clause and hopefully be able to come back on this soon-ish.

[Pland Adanna]

Full support for the nominee.

[Tinhampton]

I'm going to pretend that the last two clauses of this make grammatical sense when smoshed together.

One of the duplicate commas in the Daily Dose subclause should be removed.

[Hulldom]

I'm going to pretend that the last two clauses of this make grammatical sense when smoshed together.

One of the duplicate commas in the Daily Dose subclause should be removed.

Kibboshed on both ends.

[Hulldom]

Have yet to find someone from Albion that I'm comfortable approaching but Zuk's comments re: Europeian media and the CA have been dealt with. Should hopefully get his points re: the Senate and Albion soon!

Edit: Waiting for Europeian Senate stuff.

[Hulldom]

Bumping this.

As a note: Decided to remove the Senate clause after all. No doubt Calvin was a force there, but in terms of being a force for change there? I'm not exactly seeing it.

[Hulldom]

Bumping this again. Barring any substantive criticism, I don't see much reason to sit on this for too much longer. Certainly by the middle of next month, I'm thinking I might submit if I don't get anything of note.

[Apatosaurus]

This proposal looks good in general, but here:

The Treaty of Friendship Between The West Pacific and Europeia (2016), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between two diplomatic powers of the multiverse that culminated in the “Festival of Friendship” bringing together those two regions, and noted friend of Europeia Equilism, in a joyous celebration of friendship, and

The clunkiness lost me by the "and noted friend"; this needs a rework to make it less clunky.

a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between the largest region in NSLeft and Europeia

This may also just be me, but I don't really like how this copies the language exactly as it was used in the clause immediately before it; it isn't even separated by a few clauses. Also, the reference to NSLeft is... interesting to say the least; I'd rather something like "largest leftist region" that doesn't mention NSLeft, unless this did significantly help relations between Euro and NSLeft, in which case you should cite that.

[Hulldom]

This proposal looks good in general, but here:

The Treaty of Friendship Between The West Pacific and Europeia (2016), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between two diplomatic powers of the multiverse that culminated in the “Festival of Friendship” bringing together those two regions, and noted friend of Europeia Equilism, in a joyous celebration of friendship, and

The clunkiness lost me by the "and noted friend"; this needs a rework to make it less clunky.

a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between the largest region in NSLeft and Europeia

This may also just be me, but I don't really like how this copies the language exactly as it was used in the clause immediately before it; it isn't even separated by a few clauses. Also, the reference to NSLeft is... interesting to say the least; I'd rather something like "largest leftist region" that doesn't mention NSLeft, unless this did significantly help relations between Euro and NSLeft, in which case you should cite that.

Been a few days, and I've not been ignoring you, just thinking it through. Both of these points have been well taken.

Edit: There have been some further edits thanks to some off-forum help from Maowi, so props to her there.

[Thousand Branches]

Edits! Edits! get your fresh edits here! Also as a starter note, I definitely started these edits like 4 hours ago so the draft might be lightly outdated, whoops

Recognizing that region-building activities do not fit into a black or white binary, but rather sit along a highly diverse spectrum;

"activities" could probably be something more like "achievements" if you were going for a more positive commendatory vibe. I'm also not sure this beginning exactly fits, since the resolution does seem like a somewhat cut and dry region-building commendation. Mind you, I haven't read it in detail yet, but it certainly doesn't seem to be anything particularly wild so far.

Believing that one-nation contributing across the region-building spectrum and thus to the direction of Europeia over the last eight years is Calvin Coolidge;

I know you're trying to form some kind of metaphor with "spectrum" and all that, but I haven't quite figured out what it means? What are you referring to as the region-building spectrum? Especially since in actually scientific theory, most spectrums are still pretty binary. Like radio, radiation, colors, scale, etc are all pretty solidly two directional and I'm not really sure what that means when it comes to region-building. Like whether ones region building contributions have been good or evil? Or like... effective or ineffective? Sorry I'm really not getting this one.

Also, if you're gonna shorten it to Calvin, make a note of that here.

Revering the contributions of Calvin to encourage new nations in the multiverse to put down shoots in Europeian soil through their recruitment efforts as part of Europeia’s Ministry of the Interior where they:

Love "revering". Unfortunately, grammatically it would be "Revering Calvin's contributions in encouraging". THere's enough mayhem in this clause, I'd suggest a small organizational rewrite:

"Revering Calvin's incredible contributions to the sector of recruitment while working in Europeia's Ministry of the Interior, where they:"

Unfortunately there were too many things going on in this list opener, so I cut the bit on putting down shoots, but I'll also provide a rewrite of the second bullet point where I think that'll fit better anyway. You can't really talk about how they recruited a lot and then also have a bullet point talking about how they recruited a lot. Better to introduce that they contributed to recruitment and then show all the ways that they did.

Prodigiously assisted with recruitment efforts by starting the "Daily Dose" program, which encouraged small-batch recruitment and ultimately saw over 120,000 recruitment invitations sent under the nominee's oversight during 4 distinguished terms, and

You should define what "terms" means since the list opener does not introduce them as holding any sort of position in the MOI.

This clause needs a bit of a rework tbh, it gets very jumbled:

"Assisted enormously with recruitment efforts by starting the "Daily Dose", a program that encouraged small-batch recruitment and ultimately saw an incredible 120,000+ recruitment invitations sent under Calvin's oversight during their four terms as [INSERT POSITION NAME HERE],"

Almost purely organizational stuff along with the clarification of Calvin's mysterious position. Additionally, the "and" actually doesn't work at the end. I don't know why but it just feels really weird and I don't think that's just me Feel free to re-include it if you want to tho.

Single-handedly contributed some 96,000 invitations on their own, a feat that distinguishes them as the most prolific recruiter to ever grace Europeia;

As I previously noted, I will be providing a rewrite of this list item. Additionally, is it not more commendable to note somebody's actual success rather than their theoretical efforts, There's a lot of folks who've sent out 100000 recruitment tgs, but how are their numbers on actually recruiting new members? Anyway, rewrite:

"Contributing an unmatchable 96,000 recruitment invitations on their own, allowing for countless new nations to plant their roots in the soil of Europeia and distinguishing them as the most prolific recruiter ever to grace the region;"

Cherishing the Calvin’s leadership of, and work put into, the former Citizens’ Assembly of Europeia, a body notable for its representatives being the corpus of the Europeian citizenry, providing for an effective introduction to lawmaking, debate, and Europeian legislative procedures, mentoring new members of the region to prominence like Kuramia, and shaping Europeian law by tirelessly promoting and interacting with the work of the Citizens' Assembly;

Why is it now "The Calvin"? Also, I'm gonna be totally honest, I took a bit here trying to figure out how to rewrite this clause but I just don't understand what it's talking about enough to be able to properly organize it. What does the whole corpus bit even refer to? Are any of the points connected or are they meant to be standalone? What does this organization actually do because I really genuinely have no idea from the information provided here.

Appreciative of the efforts Calvin has contributed to the twin pillars of diplomacy and culture through their many tenures as President of Europeia, showing deft skill in concluding such agreements as:

"Appreciative of" --> "Appreciating".

Find an alternative to "contributing". Perhaps "Appreciating Calvin's ceaseless commitment to the twin... etc"

The Treaty of Friendship Between The West Pacific and Europeia (2016), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between two diplomatic powers of the multiverse that culminated in the “Festival of Friendship” bringing together those two regions and Equilism in a joyous celebration of friendship, and

If the "Treaty of Friendship" is a title of an official article of writing, it would generally be italicized (it's a matter of preference in the SC though it seems).

"Between" should not be capitalized.

"cementing" --> "that cemented | "alliance --> "collaboration" | "that culminated" --> "and culminated" | "bringing those two regions and Equilism in a joyous celebration of friendship" --> ", a joyous celebration of good will between Europeia, The West Pacific, and Equilism"

The Treaty of Spomenik with The Communist Bloc (2021), a treaty cementing the friendship and alliance between the largest region in NSLeft and Europeia, concluding in a week-long celebration attended by national leaders of both regions replete with all manners of enjoyment;

I believe somebody did mention this earlier, but you shouldn't go for an exact duplicate of the first clause with his one. With that in mind, rewrite:

"The Treaty of Spomenik with The Communist Bloc (2021), a commemoration of comraderie between two of the most influential regions in the world that began with a week-long celebration attended by national leaders of both regions and replete with all manners of enjoyment;"

Admiring Calvin’s efforts to build and bolster a strong media scene in both written and audio forms in Europeia through:

Rewrite (full):

"Admiring Calvin's tireless devotion to the media scene in Europeia, enriching both the region's written and spoken publications through:"

Their operation of “The Panda’s Pen”, their own regional media outlet providing news and opinion on a variety of hot-button issues, that has operated continuously for almost eight uninterrupted years, creating the modern methodology and reporting on European polling,

Rewrite (Organizational):

"The creation of "The Panda's Pen", a privately owned regional media outlet that has provided news and opinions on a variety of hot-button issues for almost eight uninterrupted years and practically invented the modern methodology and reporting on Europeian polling."

Ngl, I don't actually know what "the modern methodology and reporting on Europeian polling" actually means so you may want to clarify that as well.

Calvin’s leadership of EBC (Europeian Broadcasting Corporation) Radio, an outlet used to entertain, inform, and forge stronger bonds between national leaders of both Europeia and the multiverse, and

"Calvin's" --> "Their"

"the" before "national leaders".

Nix "both".

"multiverse" --> "wider multiverse".

Their overseeing of the Organization of Independent Media, an organization bringing together a variety of thought and opinion leaders from across Europeian media to both notice and reward contributions from independent media and provide a forum for collaboration within media;

"overseeing" would be "oversight" but likely "supervision" or "management" works better. And whatever you do, you should probably delete "their" at the beginning.

"bringing" --> "that brings" | "variety" --> "smorgasbord" (only cuz it's fun )

What is a "thought and opinion leader"?

Nix "both".

"within media" --> "between media organizations".

Esteeming the efforts of Calvin Coolidge to the region of Albion, including their tenure as Knight Interior, wherein they successfully reformed the civil service of that region by changing the system of appointment from Crown appointment to self-appointment, opening up governmental service to all interested members of that region and leading to a flourishing of that region’s government;

Had so many individual edits that I just turned it into a rewrite:

"Esteeming Calvin's indefatigable work in the region of Albion, including their tenure as Knight Interior where they successfully reformed Albion's civil service by changing the system of appointment from Crown appointment to self-appointment, opening up governmental service to all citizens and allowing the region to flourish;"

Treasuring too the recognitions already bestowed on this nation, particularly their receipt of Europeia’s highest honor, an Ovation, and their receipt of the title Baron of Bastion and Knight Commander of the Mace in Albion, all signs of sustained excellence and impactful contributions to those regions;

Delete this clause or heavily elaborate on it. Awards themselves are not commendable.

Cognizant that while the honors and recognition already received may be enough to some, but prizing the efforts of this well-rounded and long-serving nation to Europeia and thus to the multiverse, and desirous of a further reward for their prodigious efforts;

I highly dislike this closing clause because it relies too hard on previous awards and not on the real achievements of the player. It also sort of kills any character work done by defining them by their awards. I would highly suggest you rethink and redo this clause.

---

"Hopefully nothing too serious" -Hulldom

Weeeeeeeell sorry Hope these are helpful anyway! Have a great day,

-A

[Hulldom]

Not quoting that, but most of those have been well taken. After discussing it, their contributions were so comprehensive, I will be appending TB as a co-author.

[Apatosaurus]

Not quoting that, but most of those have been well taken. After discussing it, their contributions were so comprehensive, I will be appending TB as a co-author.

ngl I thought you meant "Twobagger" by "TB" until I read back and noticed you meant Thousand Branches :p

[Thousand Branches]

Not quoting that, but most of those have been well taken. After discussing it, their contributions were so comprehensive, I will be appending TB as a co-author.

ngl I thought you meant "Twobagger" by "TB" until I read back and noticed you meant Thousand Branches

Actually I've done that several times in the last couple days because the folks over at Young Bloods call me TB too and every time I just think "Twobagger???". Good to know I'm not the only one xD

[Fachumonn]

Editing.

The Security Council,

Recognizing that region-building achievements do not fit into a black or white binary, but rather sit along a highly diverse spectrum;

A bit clunky, but I guess it's alright.

Believing that one nation contributing to the direction of Europeia across a diverse array of policy areas over the last eight years is Calvin Coolidge, commonly known as Calvin;

It gets clunky when you say "policy areas", why areas? I'm sure there's better words for that, you can come up with your own, but I have a few in mind:
Maybe you could just say "policy's?
I don't know if this is what your trying to say, but you could do "Policy Changes", or something like that.
Maybe you could just reverse it and say "Over many different Areas of Policy"
Idk, don't have to change it but IMO you should.

Revering Calvin's incredible contributions to the sector of recruitment while working in Europeia's Ministry of the Interior, where they:

I thought about changing "sector" for a long time but realized it's fine after re-reading it again.

• Prodigiously assisted with recruitment efforts by starting the "Daily Dose" program, which encouraged small-batch recruitment and ultimately
  saw over 120,000 recruitment invitations sent under the nominee's oversight during 4 distinguished terms as Minister of the Interior, and

Prodigously isn't a word. And it's not that great of a sub-clause starter. Maybe "Colossally" or "Immensely" or "tremendously" or "considerably" ok ok you get what i'm saying, there's a lot of better options, and there practically endless.

Contributing an unmatchable 96,000 recruitment invitations on their own, allowing for countless new nations to plant their roots in the soil of Europeia and distinguishing them as the most prolific recruiter ever to grace the region;

Well written, couldn't find anything bad about it even when i'm trying

Cherishing Calvin’s leadership of, and work put into, the former Citizens’ Assembly of Europeia, a body notable for its representatives being the corpus of the Europeian citizenry; they provided members with an effective introduction to lawmaking, debate, and Europeian legislative procedures, mentored new members of the region to prominence like Kuramia, and shaped Europeian law by tirelessly promoting and interacting with the work of the Citizens' Assembly;

The First part of the clause it sorta seems this is more a clause about commending the Citizens' Assembly of Europeia, not Calvin. I don't know how strong a clause is when half of it never actually says the work he put into it, just saying they did, and then praising the above mentioned assembly for introducing people to law, debate, and legislation, not Calvin.
You could find what "work they put into it" like maybe the # of laws they made, or something around that. I don't think praising the body and not Calvin for the first part of this clause. You also say they keep "promoting and interacting in the assembly", but how? However I do like you mentioned the nations he mentored to prominence, that adds a lot to the clause. Fixing this will string your proposal together better.

a commemoration of comraderie

This is misspelled: Should be "comradery" or "camaraderie" not "comraderie"

Admiring Calvin's tireless devotion to the media scene in Europeia, enriching both the region's written and spoken publications through:
[list][*]Their operation of “The Panda’s Pen”, their own regional media outlet providing news and opinion on a variety of hot-button issues,

Why "hot-button issues" I don't think you need the button there, could just say "hot issues"

[*]Their oversight of the Organization of Independent Media, through which they have brought together a smorgasbord of thought and opinion leaders from across Europeia to spotlight

Your preference but i would add a comma here somewhere or below so it's not as continuous and hard to read with all the "and" in there (there's like 3 straight "ands")

and reward contributions from independent writers and provide a forum for collaboration within media,
Esteeming Calvin's indefatigable work in the region of Albion,

I think your trying to be too fancy, not sure your average 13 year old would understand this lol.

including their tenure as Knight Interior where they successfully reformed Albion's civil service by changing the system of appointment from Crown appointment to self-appointment, opening up governmental service to all citizens and allowing the region to flourish;

I think a specify of what "crown appointment" and "self appointment" is, so that people will more understand HOW that opens up governmental service to everybody, not just that it "does".

Extolling then the accomplishments of this nation across the varied domains they embraced and saluting their commitment to excellence wherever they have been involved;
Hereby Commends Calvin Coolidge.[/box]

Co-authored by Pathoal and Thousand Branches

Overall I have a few things: A lot of the words you're trying to be fancy when not needed, and it might cause some misunderstanding with a lot of not English fluent nations, (trust me) there a lot. As a result a lot of clauses may not be fully understood. Substitute a few of those, you got yourself another SC resolution. Like "Extolling" is not needed, it's the wrap up clause!

Anyways this is overall good and I approve, just added a few of my thoughts

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

A commentary on the edit.

It gets clunky when you say "policy areas", why areas? I'm sure there's better words for that, you can come up with your own,

Policy areas is a standard term, instantly recognisable.

Prodigously isn't a word.

Yes it bloody is - get a dictionary.

Why "hot-button issues"

Because it’s a well known term for an issue that is highly charged emotionally or politically.

I think your trying to be too fancy, not sure your average 13 year old would understand this lol.

I believe you mean “you are” or the contraction “you’re”. Also no SC author is writing for 13 year olds.

If you’re going to offer advice to authors try and make sure it’s sound, especially when the author has 6 GA and 3 SC resolutions under their belt.

[Thousand Branches]

A bit clunky, but I guess it's alright.

It’s really not, it only feels that way because contractions are generally not a thing in the WA. You get used to it

It gets clunky when you say "policy areas", why areas? I'm sure there's better words for that, you can come up with your own, but I have a few in mind:
Maybe you could just say "policy's?

If anything, it could maybe be changed to areas of policy, but that would actually serve to make it clunkier. This is fine as is.

I don't know if this is what your trying to say, but you could do "Policy Changes", or something like that.
Maybe you could just reverse it and say "Over many different Areas of Policy"
Idk, don't have to change it but IMO you should.

Nope, all of these would make it worse.

I thought about changing "sector" for a long time but realized it's fine after re-reading it again.

Definitely fine as is.

Prodigously isn't a word. And it's not that great of a sub-clause starter. Maybe "Colossally" or "Immensely" or "tremendously" or "considerably" ok ok you get what i'm saying, there's a lot of better options, and there practically endless.

Actually you are correct, “prodigously” is not a word. But it’s just a slight misspelling (proper being “prodigiously”)

As for the sub clause opener, actually the issue is not word choice, but rather that it shouldn’t be “prodigiously assisted”, it should be “assisted prodigiously”.

The First part of the clause it sorta seems this is more a clause about commending the Citizens' Assembly of Europeia, not Calvin. I don't know how strong a clause is when half of it never actually says the work he put into it, just saying they did, and then praising the above mentioned assembly for introducing people to law, debate, and legislation, not Calvin.

Disagreed. Given that they led the group, it is important to share the significance of that. Not super meaningful to lead a group that doesn’t do anything. Explaining in exact specifics what they did as a leader might actually just serve to make the clause nearly unreadable.

This is misspelled: Should be "comradery" or "camaraderie" not "comraderie"

“camaraderie” would be correct.

Why "hot-button issues" I don't think you need the button there, could just say "hot issues"

I actually rather like it, adds a little spice

Your preference but i would add a comma here somewhere or below so it's not as continuous and hard to read with all the "and" in there (there's like 3 straight "ands")

Actually yeah, this may be fair

I think your trying to be too fancy, not sure your average 13 year old would understand this lol.

As mentioned by BBD, that is not the point of the WA. Legal writing ain’t like a novel, it’s gonna be delicate and intricate, that’s what makes it interesting, especially in a very politician-style commendation.

I think a specify of what "crown appointment" and "self appointment" is, so that people will more understand HOW that opens up governmental service to everybody, not just that it "does".

Actually yeah, I did make a small comment about that earlier iirc. It’s sort of self-explanatory, but not incredibly clear.

Overall I have a few things: A lot of the words you're trying to be fancy when not needed, and it might cause some misunderstanding with a lot of not English fluent nations, (trust me) there a lot. As a result a lot of clauses may not be fully understood. Substitute a few of those, you got yourself another SC resolution. Like "Extolling" is not needed, it's the wrap up clause!

Anyways this is overall good and I approve, just added a few of my thoughts

Fancy language is how c/c works. And with a candidate such as this, casual writing would not serve the nominee justice.

Additionally, intro and wrap up clauses are a part of every single c/c draft, they’re very important as they establish character and narrative to a resolution.

[Hulldom]

Re: BBD and TB. Have addressed the spelling error. Unfortunately, I don't think there's a way to make the Albion clause much more descriptive. The current wording (I did tweak it a bit) accurately encapsulates what it is.

Also, BBD. I'm also Boston Castle, so 9 GA and 3 SC.

Re: Fauchmonn. Thanks for commenting! I appreciate that you're interested, but I do want to note that the language used is appropriate to the situation. I make my linguistic choices carefully and the dignity of the situation plus my personal pastiche dictate a certain tone and verbiage. This reflects that.

Also, I use he/him pronouns, so just for future reference!

[Fachumonn]

A commentary on the edit.

It gets clunky when you say "policy areas", why areas? I'm sure there's better words for that, you can come up with your own,

Policy areas is a standard term, instantly recognisable.

Prodigously isn't a word.

Yes it bloody is - get a dictionary.

Why "hot-button issues"

Because it’s a well known term for an issue that is highly charged emotionally or politically.

I think your trying to be too fancy, not sure your average 13 year old would understand this lol.

I believe you mean “you are” or the contraction “you’re”. Also no SC author is writing for 13 year olds.

If you’re going to offer advice to authors try and make sure it’s sound, especially when the author has 6 GA and 3 SC resolutions under their belt.

My point was for this to get passed, it would need to be more clear, but I guess your point is somewhat fair. I didn't say that SC writing was for 13 years, and didn't intend for it to be interpreted like that.

[Fachumonn]

Re: BBD and TB. Have addressed the spelling error. Unfortunately, I don't think there's a way to make the Albion clause much more descriptive. The current wording (I did tweak it a bit) accurately encapsulates what it is.

Also, BBD. I'm also Boston Castle, so 9 GA and 3 SC.

Re: Fauchmonn. Thanks for commenting! I appreciate that you're interested, but I do want to note that the language used is appropriate to the situation. I make my linguistic choices carefully and the dignity of the situation plus my personal pastiche dictate a certain tone and verbiage. This reflects that.

Also, I use he/him pronouns, so just for future reference!

Thanks! I didn't want to assume pronouns because there's just a lot of issues that come up if I assumed wrong.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Also, BBD. I'm also Boston Castle, so 9 GA and 3 SC.

Where’s the facepalm emoji when you need it? Should have remembered that.

[Hulldom]

It’s been a few days, so “bump”.

[Fachumonn]

It’s been a few days, so “bump”.

I mean, I don't really have much to say besides what I already said. It's a good proposal!

[Hulldom]

This has been submitted.