[DEFEATED] Commend LadyRebels

[Goobergunchia]

despite being repeatedly challenged by unendorsement campaigns by Francos Spain and Tanzarian, notably during which relations were built with notable regions such as The West Pacific and The Pacific,

This needs more detail if you're going to phrase it like that -- note that the FSend/Savage Lands Reloaded campaign was a direct attack by the NPO and LadyRebels's eventual rapprochement with the NPO needs to be given that context. NetworkRadio had good coverage although I don't know if any of the links from that page are recoverable.

[The Python]

despite being repeatedly challenged by unendorsement campaigns by Francos Spain and Tanzarian, notably during which relations were built with notable regions such as The West Pacific and The Pacific,

This needs more detail if you're going to phrase it like that -- note that the FSend/Savage Lands Reloaded campaign was a direct attack by the NPO and LadyRebels's eventual rapprochement with the NPO needs to be given that context. NetworkRadio had good coverage although I don't know if any of the links from that page are recoverable.

Okay, how's this:

... serving a second term as Delegate at the end of 2003 to mid-2004 and successfully managing leadership and day-to-day affairs of the South Pacific despite being repeatedly challenged by unendorsement campaigns by The Pacific through regional leaders Francos Spain and Tanzarian, notably building relations with The West Pacific and even healing those with The Pacific after the direct attack

[Goobergunchia]

I'd use Savage Lands Reloaded as the name, not Tanzarian. Other than that I think it's reasonable.

[The Python]

I'd use Savage Lands Reloaded as the name, not Tanzarian. Other than that I think it's reasonable.

Sure, done

[The Python]

boop

[Zukchiva]

Further noting that in June 2003, the fledgling government of the South Pacific, the Coalition of the South Pacific (CSP), endured a coup d'etat by The XYZ Affair, who seized the delegacy due to a natural disaster and ran a despotic regime responsible for mass purges of native residents, and the ACC, while initially supportive of the coup, switched sides under LadyRebels’ own lobbying and successfully helped restore the CSP and its sovereignty,

Outraged that following this incident, the ACC, through the imposed tyrant Alpha C, unilaterally imposed its own rule and terror on the South Pacific, and the CSP was largely helpless and seemingly unlikely to regain its sovereignty,

Where did this Alpha C person come from? It's a bit jarring to hear about a sudden dictator with no clue how they came there in the first place.

Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific after during the ensuing chaos when Alpha C was ejected from the UN, LadyRebels, on its own free will, turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s rightful sovereignty of the South Pacific by, while boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific as a colonised territory; LadyRebels later resigned later resigning from the ACC and openly assured assuring natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC- a move where it selflessly destroyed all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

Suggested some changes; I feel like this can be considerably shortened (for example, no need to mention Pilmour because this commend is about LR) and rephrasing some clauses. Up to you, though.

Praising how LadyRebels, after holding the Delegacy of the South Pacific, was exemplary in rebuilding the South Pacific and its community, and oversaw the first stable delegacy of the South Pacific, free from internal coups and chaos and even successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts by Harkinnen, before peacefully handing off the delegacy to THE MATT- DUCK, during which, among other things:

to

Praising how LadyRebels became the South Pacific's Delegate and oversaw its first stable delegacy free from internal chaos whilst successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts; some of the incredible actions LadyRebels did as Delegate that helped rebuild the South Pacific and its community, before peacefully handing the Delegacy off to THE MATT- DUCK, include the following:

Suggested change to make it read a bit better- note that if you accept this change, you'll have to rephrase the subsequent list of things to start off with action words.

Appreciating that LadyRebels has shown further dedication towards the South Pacific by serving as Vice Delegate at the end of 2003, helping in leadership of the region, Secretary and later Undersecretary of Intelligence, helping find possible threats to regional security which was important in the unstable times of antiquity, and editor of the South Pacific Independent News Network in 2011, helping inform the world about affairs and news within the South Pacific, as well as serving a second term as Delegate at the end of 2003 to mid-2004 and successfully managing leadership and day-to-day affairs of the South Pacific despite being repeatedly challenged by unendorsement campaigns by The Pacific through regional leaders Francos Spain and Savage Lands Reloaded, notably building relations with The West Pacific and even healing those with The Pacific after the direct attack,

I would recommend making this into a list of positions (similar to your first draft), or using periods. As it stands, its too much to read in one run-along sentence.

[The Python]

Further noting that in June 2003, the fledgling government of the South Pacific, the Coalition of the South Pacific (CSP), endured a coup d'etat by The XYZ Affair, who seized the delegacy due to a natural disaster and ran a despotic regime responsible for mass purges of native residents, and the ACC, while initially supportive of the coup, switched sides under LadyRebels’ own lobbying and successfully helped restore the CSP and its sovereignty,

Outraged that following this incident, the ACC, through the imposed tyrant Alpha C, unilaterally imposed its own rule and terror on the South Pacific, and the CSP was largely helpless and seemingly unlikely to regain its sovereignty,

Where did this Alpha C person come from? It's a bit jarring to hear about a sudden dictator with no clue how they came there in the first place.

Alpha C was a person from the ACC who became Delegate, but generally put the ACC over TSP (despite publically stating otherwise) and basically turned TSP into a puppet state of the ACC (even though he later became an important asset to TSP). I will add more detail on that then.

Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific after during the ensuing chaos when Alpha C was ejected from the UN, LadyRebels, on its own free will, turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s rightful sovereignty of the South Pacific by, while boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific as a colonised territory; LadyRebels later resigned later resigning from the ACC and openly assured assuring natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC- a move where it selflessly destroyed all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

Suggested some changes; I feel like this can be considerably shortened (for example, no need to mention Pilmour because this commend is about LR) and rephrasing some clauses. Up to you, though.

Sure

Praising how LadyRebels, after holding the Delegacy of the South Pacific, was exemplary in rebuilding the South Pacific and its community, and oversaw the first stable delegacy of the South Pacific, free from internal coups and chaos and even successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts by Harkinnen, before peacefully handing off the delegacy to THE MATT- DUCK, during which, among other things:

to

Praising how LadyRebels became the South Pacific's Delegate and oversaw its first stable delegacy free from internal chaos whilst successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts; some of the incredible actions LadyRebels did as Delegate that helped rebuild the South Pacific and its community, before peacefully handing the Delegacy off to THE MATT- DUCK, include the following:

Suggested change to make it read a bit better- note that if you accept this change, you'll have to rephrase the subsequent list of things to start off with action words.

I reworded your suggestion a bit but mostly done.

Appreciating that LadyRebels has shown further dedication towards the South Pacific by serving as Vice Delegate at the end of 2003, helping in leadership of the region, Secretary and later Undersecretary of Intelligence, helping find possible threats to regional security which was important in the unstable times of antiquity, and editor of the South Pacific Independent News Network in 2011, helping inform the world about affairs and news within the South Pacific, as well as serving a second term as Delegate at the end of 2003 to mid-2004 and successfully managing leadership and day-to-day affairs of the South Pacific despite being repeatedly challenged by unendorsement campaigns by The Pacific through regional leaders Francos Spain and Savage Lands Reloaded, notably building relations with The West Pacific and even healing those with The Pacific after the direct attack,

I would recommend making this into a list of positions (similar to your first draft), or using periods. As it stands, its too much to read in one run-along sentence.

Also ok

Thanks

[The Python]

Brought this to last call, I'll be submitting this about next weekend or so.

[Minskiev]

UN resolutions, a process pioneered by the South Pacific and that continues to this day,

We still carry out votes on UN resolutions?

[The Python]

UN resolutions, a process pioneered by the South Pacific and that continues to this day,

We still carry out votes on UN resolutions?

Fixed xD

I'll now be submitting this in about 2 days now with the queue having become shorter. Note: I plan to submit on Apatosaurus as this is a TSP commend and that is my nation in TSP.

Hello esteemed delegate %NATION%!

I am Apatosaurus, AKA The Python, a 2x WA author. I am asking you approve my SC proposal to Commend LadyRebels. LadyRebels, while they have drastically reduced their position within NS since then, was a leading figure in the early history of the South Pacific. They are well-known for bravely rejecting Atlantic Central Command's (a now-inactive raider region) soft imperialist control over the South Pacific in 2003, and then being Delegate twice since then, not only rebuilding the South Pacific but massively contributing to much of the culture of TSP.

Thank you for your time,
- Apatosaurus/The Python

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

An overblown and verbose draft with lots of filler helps disguise the fact that there's nothing much here to Commend. It's not well written and you have made, in my opinion, no case for the nominee to receive the award.

Nothing I have seen in the latest draft makes me want to change my opinion above.

I will be recommending an “Against” vote to TWP’s Delegate if this comes to vote.

[Refuge Isle]

An overblown and verbose draft with lots of filler helps disguise the fact that there's nothing much here to Commend. It's not well written and you have made, in my opinion, no case for the nominee to receive the award.

Nothing I have seen in the latest draft makes me want to change my opinion above.

I will be recommending an “Against” vote to TWP’s Delegate if this comes to vote.

Agree with BBD's take, as I often do.

[The Python]

An overblown and verbose draft with lots of filler helps disguise the fact that there's nothing much here to Commend. It's not well written and you have made, in my opinion, no case for the nominee to receive the award.

Nothing I have seen in the latest draft makes me want to change my opinion above.

I will be recommending an “Against” vote to TWP’s Delegate if this comes to vote.

Nothing I have seen in the latest draft makes me want to change my opinion above.

I will be recommending an “Against” vote to TWP’s Delegate if this comes to vote.

Agree with BBD's take, as I often do.

Ok, so how can I improve it...?

[A Bloodred Moon]

Further noting that in June 2003, the fledgling government of the South Pacific, the Coalition of the South Pacific (CSP), endured a coup d'etat by The XYZ Affair, who seized the delegacy due to a natural disaster and ran a despotic regime responsible for mass purges of native residents and the ACC, while initially supportive of the coup, switched sides under LadyRebels’ own lobbying and successfully helped restore the CSP and its sovereignty,

I initially read this as the XYZ Affair purging both natives and the ACC due to the wording. Perhaps I have a different perspective on this but the ACC opposing a coup doesn’t sound very invader-like. From what I understand they were more imperialist than invader.

Outraged that following this incident, the infamous tyrant Alpha C, an operative from the ACC, became Delegate of the South Pacific and essentially turned the South Pacific into a puppet state of the ACC; the CSP was largely helpless seemingly unlikely to regain its rightful sovereignty over the region,

How is it “rightful”? You might wish to reword “...largely helpless seemingly unlikely...” but that might just be me.

Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific during ensuing chaos when Alpha C was ejected from the UN,

During the ensuing chaos, I’d say. Might wish to change “when” to “after” as well.

LadyRebels, on its own free will, turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s sovereignty, boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific; LadyRebels later resigned from the ACC and openly assured natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC, selflessly destroying all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

How was the ACC ‘terrorising’ the South? Correct me if I’m wrong but the resolution doesn’t exactly explain how the ACC was an evil regime. It might help if that was given some more context.

Praising how LadyRebels, after holding the delegacy of the South Pacific, oversaw its first stable delegacy free from internal chaos whilst successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts by Harkinnen; some of the incredible actions LadyRebels did as Delegate that helped rebuild the South Pacific and its community, before peacefully handing the Delegacy off to THE MATT- DUCK, include the following:

1. Starting the cultural tradition of running so-called “Craziest Person” elections during usual cabinet elections, which still continues to this day,
2. Starting the process of holding regional votes to determine the Delegate’s vote in UN resolutions, a process pioneered by the South Pacific and that continues to this day for voting in the World Assembly, furthering democratic participation within the region,
3. Introducing regular regional contests on the forums, helping build activity, which continued even after LadyRebels' delegacy, even holding regional Summer Olympics in 2004 and a Football Association Cup in 2005,
4. Overseeing the original creation of the Vice Delegate position, allowing for the Delegate to delegate their job to a dedicated deputy, and
5. Overseeing the founding of the first military branch of the South Pacific, the Defence Force of the South Pacific (DSP), by the then-Secretary of Defense, THE MATT- DUCK,

Appreciating that LadyRebels has shown further dedication towards the South Pacific by serving as:

1. Vice Delegate at the end of 2003, helping in leadership of the region,
2. Secretary and later Undersecretary of Intelligence, helping find possible threats to regional security which was important in the unstable times of antiquity, and
3. Editor of the South Pacific Independent News Network in 2011, helping inform the world about affairs and news within the South Pacific,

The first point seems like fluff, the second seems a little silly when that can be overridden the moment the Cabinet doesn’t like the vote, the third also seems unimportant, the fourth was abolished from what I can see (so it seems not even modern TSP cared for it), and did that military achieve anything? And following that you list a number of titles and positions and nothing else that would justify their inclusion.

Believing that LadyRebels should in no doubt be officially recognised by this body, and that an official Commendation is necessary to do LadyRebels justice,

“In no doubt” seems grammatically incorrect to me.

Overall, this seems mostly filler and there seems to be no reason whatsoever the interregional community should care.

[The Python]

First, this has been un-last called as it seems mostly doomed to fail at this rate.

Further noting that in June 2003, the fledgling government of the South Pacific, the Coalition of the South Pacific (CSP), endured a coup d'etat by The XYZ Affair, who seized the delegacy due to a natural disaster and ran a despotic regime responsible for mass purges of native residents and the ACC, while initially supportive of the coup, switched sides under LadyRebels’ own lobbying and successfully helped restore the CSP and its sovereignty,

I initially read this as the XYZ Affair purging both natives and the ACC due to the wording. Perhaps I have a different perspective on this but the ACC opposing a coup doesn’t sound very invader-like. From what I understand they were more imperialist than invader.

Fixed that, but yes the ACC helped restore the CSP before deciding to be soft imperialist.

Let's set the time machine to 2003. In early June, the Coalition was founded, but soon faced significant troubles, as within the first two weeks the region was couped, owing to a game glitch, by The Xyz Affair. Our very own Tsunamy, then of tender years, reached out to other places for help, including the West Pacific where his plea was heard by LadyRebels of the Atlantic Central Command (ACC). ACC was one of the earliest invader groups and at or near the height of its power at the time. They quickly moved in and helped the Coalition regain control, but soon after placed one of their own operatives by the name of Alpha C into the Delegacy, who flew the flag of the ACC over the region. While they let the Coalition remain to manage the day-to-day operations of the region, ACC was the boss.

(Source, Emphasis mine)

Outraged that following this incident, the infamous tyrant Alpha C, an operative from the ACC, became Delegate of the South Pacific and essentially turned the South Pacific into a puppet state of the ACC; the CSP was largely helpless seemingly unlikely to regain its rightful sovereignty over the region,

How is it “rightful”? You might wish to reword “...largely helpless seemingly unlikely...” but that might just be me.

How isn't it rightful? Lol. I did clean that bit up however.

Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific during ensuing chaos when Alpha C was ejected from the UN,

During the ensuing chaos, I’d say. Might wish to change “when” to “after” as well.

k.

Praising how LadyRebels, after holding the delegacy of the South Pacific, oversaw its first stable delegacy free from internal chaos whilst successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts by Harkinnen; some of the incredible actions LadyRebels did as Delegate that helped rebuild the South Pacific and its community, before peacefully handing the Delegacy off to THE MATT- DUCK, include the following:

1. Starting the cultural tradition of running so-called “Craziest Person” elections during usual cabinet elections, which still continues to this day,
2. Starting the process of holding regional votes to determine the Delegate’s vote in UN resolutions, a process pioneered by the South Pacific and that continues to this day for voting in the World Assembly, furthering democratic participation within the region,
3. Introducing regular regional contests on the forums, helping build activity, which continued even after LadyRebels' delegacy, even holding regional Summer Olympics in 2004 and a Football Association Cup in 2005,
4. Overseeing the original creation of the Vice Delegate position, allowing for the Delegate to delegate their job to a dedicated deputy, and
5. Overseeing the founding of the first military branch of the South Pacific, the Defence Force of the South Pacific (DSP), by the then-Secretary of Defense, THE MATT- DUCK,

Appreciating that LadyRebels has shown further dedication towards the South Pacific by serving as:

1. Vice Delegate at the end of 2003, helping in leadership of the region,
2. Secretary and later Undersecretary of Intelligence, helping find possible threats to regional security which was important in the unstable times of antiquity, and
3. Editor of the South Pacific Independent News Network in 2011, helping inform the world about affairs and news within the South Pacific,

The first point seems like fluff, the second seems a little silly when that can be overridden the moment the Cabinet doesn’t like the vote, the third also seems unimportant, the fourth was abolished from what I can see (so it seems not even modern TSP cared for it), and did that military achieve anything? And following that you list a number of titles and positions and nothing else that would justify their inclusion.

Your first point, sure I'll remove that ig, your second point is anti-TSP cringeposting, third I'll remove ig (EDIT: Decided to keep that in), fourth sure it was but a lot has changed since 18 years ago lol (EDIT: for example, according to Roavin in the same link I provided before, none of the original Charter remains), the DSP, wasn't necessarily a big thing at the time, but definitely an important milestone in the history of TSP.

Believing that LadyRebels should in no doubt be officially recognised by this body, and that an official Commendation is necessary to do LadyRebels justice,

“In no doubt” seems grammatically incorrect to me.

Ok

[Nyxonia]

That LadyRebels was given a position of authority over a captured region and expected to manage it with an iron-fist. Not their finest hour.

But, they realized that it was unfair or untenable and they revolted against their masters and chose to fight the good fight.

And to willingly give up power after you have such a firm grip on a region? How many other people could say with confidence that they would start it on the road to a democratically elected region.

History is filled with examples of people who served under an unfair political system (Washington, Franklin, Jefferson) and when the unfairness became too much they dropped their loyalty to the king of England and became revolutionaries.

[The Python]

Bump

EDIT: New draft posted

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Bump

EDIT: New draft posted

And you still have this load of flannel in it.

Further noting that in June 2003, the fledgling government of the South Pacific, the Coalition of the South Pacific (CSP), endured a coup d'etat by The XYZ Affair, who seized the delegacy due to a natural disaster and ran a despotic regime responsible for mass purges of native residents, and the ACC, while initially supportive of the coup, switched sides under LadyRebels’ own lobbying and successfully helped restore the CSP and its sovereignty,

Outraged that following this incident, the infamous tyrant Alpha C, an operative from the ACC, became Delegate of the South Pacific and essentially turned the South Pacific into a puppet state of the ACC; the CSP was largely helpless, and seemingly unlikely to regain its rightful sovereignty over the region,

Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific during the ensuing chaos after Alpha C was ejected from the UN, LadyRebels, on its own free will, turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s sovereignty, boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific; LadyRebels later resigned from the ACC and openly assured natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC, selflessly destroying all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

This is just three clauses of badly written filler. Are you writing a Commendation or a cure for insomnia?

[Xoriet]

As mentioned earlier, just applied to another clause:

Better phrasing would have a more matter-of-fact phrasing, or at least cutting out the "that" and adjusting the wording to be less clunky.

"Admiring LadyRebels' work after securing the delegacy of The South Pacific after Alpha C was removed from the United Nations"

instead of

"Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific during the ensuing chaos after Alpha C was ejected from the UN"

However, with a series of clauses, you run into what BBD mentions about it coming across more as filler. You can simplify it by removing the clause before the aforementioned and merging the two without bulking up the wording. However, even if you do that, it's awkward to see LadyRebels persuading the ACC to side with TSP in the XYZ affair, after which ACC immediately becomes the antagonist, which muddles things a little. You might consider removing the excess language in all three and combining them to demonstrate that LadyRebels pushed events and people with hostile intentions to work for benevolence, then removed them when they proved treacherous. This would emphasize her influence and ability more than do a laundry list of events that occurred.

Example:

Admiring LadyRebels' demonstration of influence in navigating politics around the XYZ Affair to persuade the Atlantic Central Command to support The South Pacific, and then the nation's work in removing the Atlantic Central Command delegate Alpha C when that organization's seemingly charitable act proved to have been one with selfish intentions to secure its own form of governance without regard to native will, bringing an end to both coups and further driving The South Pacific on the path to stability,

[The Python]

"Admiring LadyRebels' work after securing the delegacy of The South Pacific after Alpha C was removed from the United Nations"

instead of

"Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific during the ensuing chaos after Alpha C was ejected from the UN"

Sure, how's this

Admiring LadyRebels' work after securing the delegacy of The South Pacific after Alpha C was removed from the United Nations, when on its own free will, it turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s sovereignty, boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific; LadyRebels later resigned from the ACC and openly assured natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC, selflessly destroying all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

However, with a series of clauses, you run into what BBD mentions about it coming across more as filler. You can simplify it by removing the clause before the aforementioned and merging the two without bulking up the wording. However, even if you do that, it's awkward to see LadyRebels persuading the ACC to side with TSP in the XYZ affair, after which ACC immediately becomes the antagonist, which muddles things a little. You might consider removing the excess language in all three and combining them to demonstrate that LadyRebels pushed events and people with hostile intentions to work for benevolence, then removed them when they proved treacherous. This would emphasize her influence and ability more than do a laundry list of events that occurred.

Example:

Admiring LadyRebels' demonstration of influence in navigating politics around the XYZ Affair to persuade the Atlantic Central Command to support The South Pacific, and then the nation's work in removing the Atlantic Central Command delegate Alpha C when that organization's seemingly charitable act proved to have been one with selfish intentions to secure its own form of governance without regard to native will, bringing an end to both coups and further driving The South Pacific on the path to stability,

Bump

EDIT: New draft posted

And you still have this load of flannel in it.

Further noting that in June 2003, the fledgling government of the South Pacific, the Coalition of the South Pacific (CSP), endured a coup d'etat by The XYZ Affair, who seized the delegacy due to a natural disaster and ran a despotic regime responsible for mass purges of native residents, and the ACC, while initially supportive of the coup, switched sides under LadyRebels’ own lobbying and successfully helped restore the CSP and its sovereignty,

Outraged that following this incident, the infamous tyrant Alpha C, an operative from the ACC, became Delegate of the South Pacific and essentially turned the South Pacific into a puppet state of the ACC; the CSP was largely helpless, and seemingly unlikely to regain its rightful sovereignty over the region,

Admiring that after seizing the delegacy of the South Pacific during the ensuing chaos after Alpha C was ejected from the UN, LadyRebels, on its own free will, turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s sovereignty, boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific; LadyRebels later resigned from the ACC and openly assured natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC, selflessly destroying all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

This is just three clauses of badly written filler. Are you writing a Commendation or a cure for insomnia?

Hmm, I've decided to remove the Further Noting clause instead (if it's considered filler, which I'd argue it's historical context but)

Specifically regarding BBD's feedback: I don't really see how Outraged and Admiring could be considered filler? Outraged is literally a very short clause that just gives necessary historical context and Admiring is actually commendable stuff...

[The Python]

This is now on last call, I intend to submit in at least 1 week from now, if not a few days later.

[Emodea]

Noting that LadyRebels was originally an extremely high-ranking member of the Atlantic Central Command (ACC), one of the largest invader groups in Antiquity,

Is this supposed to be the introductory clause? Because if so, then this isn't exactly a good one. It tells me nothing about why the nominee is supposed to considered for a commendation and in fact does the opposite by stating that they were once one of the leaders of an invader organization condemned by this council without any hint that they redeemed themselves. I would suggest you rewrite this completely to reflect on the nominee better.

Outraged that in June 2003, the infamous tyrant Alpha C, an operative from the ACC, became Delegate of the South Pacific and essentially turned the South Pacific into a puppet state of the ACC; the CSP was largely helpless, and seemingly unlikely to regain its rightful sovereignty over the region,

Admiring LadyRebels' bravery after securing the delegacy of The South Pacific after Alpha C was ejected from the United Nations, when on its own free will, it turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s sovereignty, boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific; LadyRebels later resigned from the ACC and openly assured natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC, selflessly destroying all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

This is fluffy and way too verbose for my liking. I think you can combine both of these clauses into a singular one that shortly yet succinctly describes LadyRebels' actions. Also get rid off all the irrelevant things like Supreme Commander of the ACC, they serve as nothing but mere trivia and does nothing to emphasize what good LadyRebels did. You can just write "boldly defying orders from the leaders of the ACC" and it would mean essentially the same.

Praising how LadyRebels, after holding the delegacy of the South Pacific, oversaw its first stable delegacy free from internal chaos whilst successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts by Harkinnen;

Is it really a 'stable' delegacy if you have to fight off multiple coup attempts during your time? Me thinks not. Also, this arguably deserves its own clause.

some of the incredible actions, among others, LadyRebels did as Delegate that helped rebuild the South Pacific and its community, before peacefully handing the Delegacy off to THE MATT- DUCK, include the following:

Fluff. We don't need to know who succeeded LadyRebels as Delegate. We're more interested in what they did as Delegate. Get rid of the mentions of THE MATT-DUCK and the transition, and rewrite the 'some of the incredible actions' bit to something less verbose, like:

Praising LadyRebels' historic first tenure as Delegate of the South Pacific following the immediate aftermath of the ACC's invasion, where they contributed to the rebuild of the region by:

Or something like that.

Appreciating that LadyRebels has shown further dedication towards the South Pacific by serving as:

1. Vice Delegate at the end of 2003, helping in leadership of the region,
2. Secretary and later Undersecretary of Intelligence, helping find possible threats to regional security which was important in the unstable times of antiquity, and
3. Editor of the South Pacific Independent News Network in 2011, helping inform the world about affairs and news within the South Pacific,

Fluff. I see nothing commendable within this clause unless you can delve into the specifics of what they did in each respective position you listed.

Impressed by LadyRebels' accomplishments in its second term as delegate in late 2003 to 2004, where despite being repeatedly challenged by unendorsement campaigns by The Pacific through regional leaders Francos Spain and Savage Lands Reloaded, the region remained very stable and successfully built relations with The West Pacific and even healed those with The Pacific after the direct attack,

How are we uh, defining stability here? Because again, being under the threat of a coup doesn't seem very stable to me.

Overall, this needs quite a bit of work before it can reach the voting floor. I'm not yet convinced that LadyRebels deserves a commendation from the SC.

[The Python]

Noting that LadyRebels was originally an extremely high-ranking member of the Atlantic Central Command (ACC), one of the largest invader groups in Antiquity,

Is this supposed to be the introductory clause? Because if so, then this isn't exactly a good one. It tells me nothing about why the nominee is supposed to considered for a commendation and in fact does the opposite by stating that they were once one of the leaders of an invader organization condemned by this council without any hint that they redeemed themselves. I would suggest you rewrite this completely to reflect on the nominee better.

It gives necessary historical context, but I changed that to look like this:

Recognising LadyRebels as a nation known for its selflessness and bravery, and while they started out as a high-ranking member of the Atlantic Central Command (ACC), one of the largest invader groups of antiquity, later became a leading figure in the early history of the South Pacific,

Outraged that in June 2003, the infamous tyrant Alpha C, an operative from the ACC, became Delegate of the South Pacific and essentially turned the South Pacific into a puppet state of the ACC; the CSP was largely helpless, and seemingly unlikely to regain its rightful sovereignty over the region,

Admiring LadyRebels' bravery after securing the delegacy of The South Pacific after Alpha C was ejected from the United Nations, when on its own free will, it turned on the ACC and heroically restored the CSP’s sovereignty, boldly defying orders from Pilmour, then Supreme Commander of the ACC, to fly the ACC flag and maintain its despotic rule over the South Pacific; LadyRebels later resigned from the ACC and openly assured natives of the South Pacific that they would no longer be terrorised by the ACC, selflessly destroying all of its standing within the ACC for the cause of universal good,

This is fluffy and way too verbose for my liking. I think you can combine both of these clauses into a singular one that shortly yet succinctly describes LadyRebels' actions. Also get rid off all the irrelevant things like Supreme Commander of the ACC, they serve as nothing but mere trivia and does nothing to emphasize what good LadyRebels did. You can just write "boldly defying orders from the leaders of the ACC" and it would mean essentially the same.

I've decided not to merge the 2 clauses for now, but I did shorten admiring fwiw.

Praising how LadyRebels, after holding the delegacy of the South Pacific, oversaw its first stable delegacy free from internal chaos whilst successfully fighting off multiple coup attempts by Harkinnen;

Is it really a 'stable' delegacy if you have to fight off multiple coup attempts during your time? Me thinks not. Also, this arguably deserves its own clause.

It was absolutely stable, at least for standards back then, lol. During the delegacies of Bong Load and Katland, the first two delegates, there was not even an established government. Killer Monkeys started the Coalition but got couped. Goddessness also got couped, and when The Fathoms Below had their short-term delegacy they literally self-ejected and went on a banning spree. Alpha C was... Alpha C, Garylandia and Gatren were both very short term but LadyRebels was the first Delegate who managed to keep the delegacy under an established government, not get couped and be able to transfer it to someone else.

EDIT: I did, however, add the fact that LR created the ban list record which stayed in regular use until 2006 and revived/in tentative use in 2011 (for anyone curious, it can be found here)

some of the incredible actions, among others, LadyRebels did as Delegate that helped rebuild the South Pacific and its community, before peacefully handing the Delegacy off to THE MATT- DUCK, include the following:

Fluff. We don't need to know who succeeded LadyRebels as Delegate. We're more interested in what they did as Delegate. Get rid of the mentions of THE MATT-DUCK and the transition, and rewrite the 'some of the incredible actions' bit to something less verbose, like:

Praising LadyRebels' historic first tenure as Delegate of the South Pacific following the immediate aftermath of the ACC's invasion, where they contributed to the rebuild of the region by:

Or something like that.

Shortened.

Appreciating that LadyRebels has shown further dedication towards the South Pacific by serving as:

1. Vice Delegate at the end of 2003, helping in leadership of the region,
2. Secretary and later Undersecretary of Intelligence, helping find possible threats to regional security which was important in the unstable times of antiquity, and
3. Editor of the South Pacific Independent News Network in 2011, helping inform the world about affairs and news within the South Pacific,

Fluff. I see nothing commendable within this clause unless you can delve into the specifics of what they did in each respective position you listed.

When I get time to research that I will ig.

EDIT: I cleaned that up and purged the VD part, and added more detail about how she was one of the more active Chairpersons apparently (which I did not know before lol)

[

box]Impressed by LadyRebels' accomplishments in its second term as delegate in late 2003 to 2004, where despite being repeatedly challenged by unendorsement campaigns by The Pacific through regional leaders Francos Spain and Savage Lands Reloaded, the region remained very stable and successfully built relations with The West Pacific and even healed those with The Pacific after the direct attack,[/box]
How are we uh, defining stability here? Because again, being under the threat of a coup doesn't seem very stable to me.

And I'm just going to use my previous response:

It was absolutely stable, at least for standards back then, lol. During the delegacies of Bong Load and Katland, the first two delegates, there was not even a stable government. Killer Monkeys started the Coalition but got couped. Goddessness also got couped, and when The Fathoms Below had their short-term delegacy they literally self-ejected and went on a banning spree. Alpha C was... Alpha C, Garylandia and Gatren were both very short term but LadyRebels was the first Delegate who managed to keep the delegacy, not get couped and be able to transfer it to someone else.

[WayNeacTia]

Seeing as how you keep making major changes, why is this still tagged as "Last Call"?

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

When you keep getting this much criticism about the amount of filler and lack of Commendable content, maybe the penny should drop that this is a pretty poor attempt.