[DEFEATED] Commend Llorens

[Guess and Check]

Llo is definitely commendable. And I think this draft has pretty much all the meat it needs to get the job done, and it's good for a developing draft. However, it's too vague in a lot of areas. I left more specific feedback below, but in general, try to specify more on this. Why does X matter and what was its impact on the region. You have around 4105 characters, ignoring code. Use the extra 700-900 to elaborate on things.

Feedback:

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, being the longest serving delegate in the region's history and also had access to the Leftist Assembly founder nation and maintains decorum in the region by proper supervision.

350+ days in a foundered UCR isn't noteworthy, at least not by itself. People have maintained longer delegacies in unstable GCRs and Warzones.

You need to explain what Llorens did in their Delegacy that made it commendable, like Praeceps said.

Designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region by introducing different remarkable legislations.

Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,

This clause makes the previous "Designing" one redundant. Would suggest deleting the designing clause.

Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens,

Why is this good? Explain that here.

Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations

Add a comma here at the end.

Documenting the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments,

What does this mean? It isn't clear.

Creating the highly factual and regularly updated TLAwiki which contains regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others,

Creating is a notable thing, but did they do anything beyond creating it? Did they help maintain it? Did they create articles for it? Etc. If they just created it and did absolutely nothing else, I would suggest not mentioning this.

Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program, which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly.

add comma

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region, making it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates. They created the major legal system while they were in power.

This could be reworded to "Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms, wherein they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates. They also created the major legal system during their time as Secretary."

Beyond grammar, this clause needs work. How did they empower the region as secretary? Also if their work in creating "the major legal system" was in your "proposing clause", then I would delete the "major legal system" sentence from this secretary clause. It's redundant and doesn't add anything, if my interpretation of your writing is right.

If I'm wrong, then specify on the legal changes they made while being Secretary.

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:

This is a bit of a run-on, try to split it up.

They were appointed the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice.
They were appointed to the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson in NSToday.

What specifically did they do in these positions? If you can't mention that, then remove these. Position listing does not help your draft.

They have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST.

It may help to make a summary of the articles Llo wrote. Beyond the WA shift (which you mentioned right after this), what general articles did they write? Would add some color to this clause.

They established the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation, which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations.

Add comma

They were appointed the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice.
They were appointed to the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson in NSToday.
They have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST.
They also wrote the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly.
They established the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations.

I would remove the "they X" parts of the sentence. Start with the -ing verbs instead.

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day5 Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table, and was awarded the Green Heart Award which is meant for those nations who has been a exceptional service to the community of Spiritus through "An Alliance of Potatoes" faction.

I wouldn't mention the Green Heart Award, or if I did I would say something like "and was awarded the Green Heart Award by Spiritus for their service". Focus more on their specific role during that N-Day. Also mention that Potato came back from a negative score to second.

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship that varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports.

would reword to this: "Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship, which empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports by providing a different championship for regions to participate in.[/quote]

Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation.

This should be in its own clause. It should also explain what exactly were these reforms.

Concluding that the presence and contributions of Llorens has brought The Leftist Assembly and the Nationstates Today to a better position in the multiverse;

I agree with you that this final clause is a bit dry. Unfortunately, I'm out of creative juice right now Maybe look at recent commends for ideas on how to word this?

May be a good idea to state Llo is an example of some sort to other nations wishing to regionbuild, or something.

[Wascoitan]

Creating the highly factual and regularly updated TLAwiki which contains regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others,

Creating is a notable thing, but did they do anything beyond creating it? Did they help maintain it? Did they create articles for it? Etc. If they just created it and did absolutely nothing else, I would suggest not mentioning this.

just jumping in here to say that I can in fact confirm that Llo, along with me and kava, was one of the main people who maintained the wiki. the wiki itself has since become fairly outdated, mostly due to Llo's semi-retirement and me leaving the region (and as such not caring enough to update it anymore). still worth mentioning despite that tho imo.

[Apatosaurus]

Okay, this is vastly improved, and I will likely support this.

Also, stop ending clauses with full stops! Only other person who regularly uses them this much to end clauses is Xor :p

Anyway, this draft still needs lots of work.

Designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region by introducing different remarkable legislations.

You should elaborate on examples of the "majority of the region's government system" and the "different remarkable legislations"

Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,

Are these the same "remarkable legislation" you just mentioned in the item immediately before that? :catglaresip:

If so, then you should get rid of the "introducing different remarkable legislations" part of the item above so that you can elaborate more on the "Designing the majority of the region's government system" and don't repeat the same thing twice.

Documenting the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments,

Like what?

Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly.

What did this accomplish?

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region, making it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates. They created the major legal system while they were in power.

Ew a full stop

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:

[list=i]
[*] They were appointed the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice.
[*] They were appointed to the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson in NSToday.

Laundry listing positions? I think it's fine to mention that they served in lots of positions, but you shouldn't put this much verbose content of what can just be summarised as "They served in various positions including but not limited to Chief Executive Officer twice, Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson".

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table, and was awarded the Green Heart Award which is meant for those nations who has been a exceptional service to the community of Spiritus through "An Alliance of Potatoes" faction.

What major role?

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship that varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports.

You should elaborate on this.

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world. Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation.

Replace the full stop in the middle of this clause with a semicolon.

Concluding that the presence and contributions of Llorens has brought The Leftist Assembly and the Nationstates Today to a better position in the multiverse;

Honestly, I don't like this summary.

Try something like this:

Concluding that Llorens has been an impressive contributor to The Leftist Assembly, NationStates Today and the sporting community, and thus merits official recognition by this body,

[/quote]

[Indusse]

Thanks for the comments, once again I've updated the draft and fixed some grammatical error. As Zuk and Apatosaurus said I'm currently trying to find a bit more information that can be added about Llorens and their involvement in Historical Documentation, RoSE and Nationstates Today.

Once again, please post your suggestions and comments.

[Indusse]

I've updated the draft with some more information, fixed some formatting errors and tried merging a bullet point into another. Feedback on this would be nice

[Hanovereich]

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, being the longest serving delegate in the region's history making a lot of improvement in the community
[/quote]

What kinds of improvements? 'A lot' doesn't say much apart from 'a lot'

[Indusse]

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, being the longest serving delegate in the region's history making a lot of improvement in the community

What kinds of improvements? 'A lot' doesn't say much apart from 'a lot'[/quote]
The Improvements and Contributions have been listed in the Recognizing Clause, I've made the Noting Clause as an introduction on who and what did the Nominee do.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, being the longest serving delegate in the region's history making a lot of improvement in the community

What kinds of improvements? 'A lot' doesn't say much apart from 'a lot'

The Improvements and Contributions have been listed in the Recognizing Clause, I've made the Noting Clause as an introduction on who and what did the Nominee do.

That Noting clause reads badly - dump or rewrite would be my suggestion.

[Indusse]

The Improvements and Contributions have been listed in the Recognizing Clause, I've made the Noting Clause as an introduction on who and what did the Nominee do.

That Noting clause reads badly - dump or rewrite would be my suggestion.

Would rewrite it and update the draft ^-^

[Indusse]

Taking into consideration the recent suggestions on rewording the "Noting Clause" I've come up with a few ideas, eventhough they're not what I feel as the best I would like to get some suggestions to proceed with the draft:

Noting that Llorens founded on May 6th 2016, has been a leftist superpower, distinguished journalist, influential and successful nation in the multiverse;

Noting that Llorens has immensely served the leftist community and has played a major role in the development of the Nationstates Today and the Leftist Assembly;

[Apatosaurus]

Taking into consideration the recent suggestions on rewording the "Noting Clause" I've come up with a few ideas, eventhough they're not what I feel as the best I would like to get some suggestions to proceed with the draft:

Noting that Llorens founded on May 6th 2016, has been a leftist superpower, distinguished journalist, influential and successful nation in the multiverse;

Noting that Llorens has immensely served the leftist community and has played a major role in the development of the Nationstates Today and the Leftist Assembly;

Yeah, not a fan of either of them, especially as it's not just the "leftist community" (unless Sports is now leftist lol)

Try this:

Noting that since Llorens' creation in May 2016, it has immensely served The Lefist Assembly (TLA), as well as being an important participant in world journalism and international sports;

EDIT: Since the current "Noting" clause also mentions Llorens' tenure as Delegate of TLA, maybe you could make a clause purely about his Delegacy?

[Indusse]

tysm Apato, I've updated the Draft. On the suggestion on having a seperate clause for his delegacy achievements may not be possible because we have covered almost everything on the other clauses.

[Tinhampton]

You have failed to close off the list tags in your UNDERSTANDING and RECOGNIZING clauses. There is also a superfluous gap between paragraphs v and vi of the RECOGNIZING list. There should not be a space between the word "score" and the comma following it in the ASTONISHED clause. No idea if "the NSLeft" should just read "NSLeft."

I don't have any other feedback to give at this time but I'll let you know in the unlikely event that I do

[Indusse]

Fixed them up

[Indusse]

The Draft was updated, would like to have comments.

[Wymondham]

Establishing the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations,

Citation needed on this - PR and HR were established when NST was first set up under Lewis, with Brih and Preco as the respective directors. Llo did not become CEO until September 2019, thus Llo did not establish the PR or HR dept as far as I remember. Therefore this statement is to my knowledge incorrect. (Obviously if my memory has failed me I am happy to be corrected). You may wish to replace this with something about Llo's term as CCO prior to becoming CEO.

[Apatosaurus]

You asked for me to give more feedback :p here you go.

The Security Council,

Noting that since Llorens' creation in May 2016, it has immensely served The Leftist Assembly (TLA), as well as being an important participant in world journalism and international sports;

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including: This is a very long list, you should split it in my opinion. I'd vote for this, but people might vote against because of it.

1. Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,
   
2. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
   
3. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens, in order to assist regional leaders to ensure that the rules and policies were made aware and followed. It aimed to reduce domination by a single political tendency in the region,
   
4. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations and promoting interregional harmony, resulting in the strong relationship between The Leftist Assembly and other left inclined regions and also the recent signing of "The Laika Accord" and establishment of embassies with The West Pacific,
   
5. Creating the highly factual and timely updated TLAwiki which serves as the regional encyclopaedia containing regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others and Documentation of the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments and bringing the available information for public access,
   
6. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly and bolstering TLA from outside threats,
   
   Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms, wherein they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates,

Are you sure that closing list tag was not meant to go before this clause?

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including: Change "including" to "; for example, they:" and then axe the "They" beginnings of the first 2 list items.

1. They served in various positions including but not limited to Chief Executive Officer twice, Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson,
2. They have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST,
3. writing the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly, Why are the 2 items before this in past tense, but this is in present tense?
4. Establishing the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations, Again, this is present tense but the other 2 items are in past tense.

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table after a historic comeback from negative score, and was awarded the Green Heart Award by Spiritus for their service to the community and the faction, What "major role"?

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship, which empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports by providing a different championship for regions to participate in,

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world; Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation, What were these reforms and why were they good? Elaborate a lot more. First part of that clause is also too verbose.

Concluding that Llorens has been an impressive contributor to The Leftist Assembly, NationStates Today and the sporting community, and thus merits official recognition by this body,

Hereby Commends Llorens.

Co-Authored by Grod Island.

[Indusse]

The Draft has been updated

[Doge Land]

Support

[Apatosaurus]

(Image)
Commend Llorens

---

The Security Council,

Noting that since Llorens' creation in May 2016, it has immensely served The Leftist Assembly (TLA), as well as being an important participant in world journalism and international sports;

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

1. Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others, Proposing and passing countless remarkable legislation, such as a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,
   
2. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
   
3. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens, in order to assist regional leaders to ensure that the rules and policies were made aware and followed. It aimed to reduce domination by a single political tendency in the region,
   
4. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations and promoting interregional harmony, resulting in the strong relationship between The Leftist Assembly and other left inclined regions and also the recent signing of "The Laika Accord" and establishment of embassies with The West Pacific,
   
5. Creating the highly factual and timely updated TLAwiki which serves as the regional encyclopaedia containing regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others and Documentation of the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments and bringing the available information for public access,
   
6. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly and bolstering TLA from outside threats,

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms, wherein they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates, More detail needed

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today, a well-known and widely circulated interregional newspaper, by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation; where among other things, they:

1. served in various positions including but not limited to Chief Executive Officer twice, Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson,
2. have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST,
3. wrote the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly,

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table after a historic comeback from negative score , and was awarded the Green Heart Award by Spiritus for their service to the community and the faction,

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship, which empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports by providing a different championship for regions to participate in,

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world; Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation, What did those reforms do?

Concluding that Llorens has been an impressive contributor to The Leftist Assembly, NationStates Today and the sporting community, and thus merits official recognition by this body,

Hereby Commends Llorens.

Co-Authored by Grod Island

(Image)
Commend Llorens

---

The Security Council,

Noting that since Llorens' creation in May 2016, it has immensely served The Leftist Assembly (TLA), as well as being an important participant in world journalism and international sports;

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

1. Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,
   
2. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
   
3. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens, in order to assist regional leaders to ensure that the rules and policies were made aware and followed. It aimed to reduce domination by a single political tendency in the region,
   
4. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations and promoting interregional harmony, resulting in the strong relationship between The Leftist Assembly and other left inclined regions and also the recent signing of "The Laika Accord" and establishment of embassies with The West Pacific,
   
5. Creating the highly factual and timely updated TLAwiki which serves as the regional encyclopaedia containing regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others and Documentation of the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments and bringing the available information for public access,
   
6. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly and bolstering TLA from outside threats,
   
   Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms, wherein they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates,

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:

1. They served in various positions including but not limited to Chief Executive Officer twice, Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson,
2. They have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST,
3. writing the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly,
4. Establishing the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations,

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table after a historic comeback from negative score, and was awarded the Green Heart Award by Spiritus for their service to the community and the faction,

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship, which empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports by providing a different championship for regions to participate in,

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world; Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation,

Concluding that Llorens has been an impressive contributor to The Leftist Assembly, NationStates Today and the sporting community, and thus merits official recognition by this body,

Hereby Commends Llorens.

Co-Authored by Grod Island.

(Image)
Commend Llorens

---

The Security Council,
Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, being the longest serving delegate in the region's history making a lot of improvement in the community and also had access to the Leftist Assembly founder nation and maintains decorum in the region by proper supervision;


Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

1. Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,
   
2. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
   
3. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens, in order to assist regional leaders to ensure that the rules and policies were made aware and followed. It aimed to reduce domination by a single political tendency in the region,
   
4. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations and promoting interregional harmony, resulting in the strong relationship between The Leftist Assembly and other left inclined regions and also the recent signing of "The Laika Accord" and establishment of embassies with The West Pacific,
   
5. Creating the highly factual and timely updated TLAwiki which serves as the regional encyclopaedia containing regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others and Documentation of the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments and bringing the available information for public access,
   
   
6. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly and bolstering TLA from outside threats,

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms, wherein they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates,

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:

1. They served in various positions including but not limited to Chief Executive Officer twice, Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson,
2. They have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST,
3. writing the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly,
4. Establishing the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations,

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table after a historic comeback from negative score , and was awarded the Green Heart Award by Spiritus for their service to the community and the faction,

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship, which empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports by providing a different championship for regions to participate in,

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world; Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation,

Concluding that Llorens has been an impressive contributor to The Leftist Assembly, NationStates Today and the sporting community, and thus merits official recognition by this body,

Hereby Commends Llorens.

Co-Authored by Grod Island

(Image)
Commend Llorens

---

The Security Council,

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, being the longest serving delegate in the region's history making a lot of improvement in the community and also had access to the Leftist Assembly founder nation and maintains decorum in the region by proper supervision;

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

1. Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,
   
2. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
   
3. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens, in order to assist regional leaders to ensure that the rules and policies were made aware and followed. It aimed to reduce domination by a single political tendency in the region,
   
4. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations and promoting interregional harmony, resulting in the strong relationship between The Leftist Assembly and other left inclined regions and also the recent signing of "The Laika Accord" and establishment of embassies with The West Pacific,
   
5. Documenting the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments and bringing the available information for public access,
   
6. Creating the highly factual and timely updated TLAwiki which serves as the regional encyclopaedia containing regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, historical archives, cultural and sporting events among others,
   
7. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly and encouraging members to cross endorse other comrades,

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms, wherein they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates,

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:

1. They served in various positions including but not limited to Chief Executive Officer twice, Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson,
2. They have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST,
3. writing the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly,
4. Establishing the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations,

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table after a historic comeback from negative score , and was awarded the Green Heart Award by Spiritus for their service to the community and the faction,

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship, which empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports by providing a different championship for regions to participate in,

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world; Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation,

Concluding that Llorens has been an impressive contributor to The Leftist Assembly, NationStates Today and the sporting community, and thus merits official recognition by this body,

Hereby Commends Llorens.

Co-Authored by Grod Island

---

(Image)
Commend Llorens

---

The Security Council,

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, being the longest serving delegate in the region's history and also had access to the Leftist Assembly founder nation and maintains decorum in the region by proper supervision.


Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

1. Designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region by introducing different remarkable legislations.
   
2. Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,
   
3. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
   
4. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens,
   
5. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations
   
6. Documenting the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments,
   
7. Creating the highly factual and regularly updated TLAwiki which contains regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others,
   
8. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly.

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region, making it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates. They created the major legal system while they were in power.

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:

1. They were appointed the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice.
2. They were appointed to the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson in NSToday.
3. They have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST.
4. They also wrote the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly.
5. They established the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations.

[/list][/list]


Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table, and was awarded the Green Heart Award which is meant for those nations who has been a exceptional service to the community of Spiritus through "An Alliance of Potatoes" faction.

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship that varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports.

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world. Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation.

Concluding that the presence and contributions of Llorens has brought The Leftist Assembly and the Nationstates Today to a better position in the multiverse;

Hereby Commends Llorens.

Co-Authored by Grod Island

---

Commend Llorens

---

The Security Council,

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, during which they served the region by designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region by introducing different remarkable legislations. They also hold access to the Leftist Assembly founder nation and maintains decorum in the region by proper supervision.

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

i. Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,

ii. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,

iii. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens,

iv. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations

v. Documenting the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments,

vi. Creating the highly factual and regularly updated TLAwiki which contains regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others,

vii. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly.

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region, making it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates. They created the major legal system while they were in power.

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:
i. He was appointed the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice.
ii. Llorens was appointed to the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson in NSToday.
iii. Llorens has over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST.
iv. He also writes the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly.
V. He established the Public Relations and Human Resource Departments in the organisation which ensures the collaboration and recruitment between regions or nations.


Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day Faction "Alliance of Potato", and was awarded the Green Heart Award for their contribution to the event such as Planning and Execution.

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship that varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports.

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world. Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation.

Hereby Commends Llorens

Co-Authored by Grod Island

---

The Security Council,

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, during which they served the region by designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region.

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

i. Proposing countless remarkable legislation concentrating on simplifying the Constitution and making the government system more efficient,
ii. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
iii. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens,
iv. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program which has greatly improved the region’s foreign relations,
v. Documenting the regional history from a neutral perspective, incorporating elements of both government and community developments,
vi. Creating the highly factual and regularly updated TLAwiki which contains regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others.

Acknowledged by the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region and the leftist community of Nationstates.

Understanding that Llorens is the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is the most famous and read newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:
i. They were elected the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice and is currently holding the position.
ii. Llorens decorated the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer,Editor,Governor and Chairperson in NSToday
iii. Llorens has over eighty articles in the NationstatesToday Newsletter which is regarded as the most read newsletter in (SCR#302) and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST.
iv. They also writes the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth.


Astonished by the fact that Llorens has been awarded the Green Heart Award of Spiritus and the prefix SPH for their momentous contribution towards The Potato Alliance in the Nuclear Apocalypse.

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and made the IAFF World Cup, a great success by having participants from many regions.

Approving that Llorens has been in the NSLeft Organisation, helping the organisation in its development and also had governing experience in The East Pacific including being a Magister of TEP.

Hereby Commends Llorens

Co-Authored by Grod Island

---

The Security Council,

Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, during which they served the region by designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region

Recognizing Llorens's contribution to developing The Leftist Assembly into a large community in the Nationstates and a superpower in NSleft.

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region and the leftist community of Nationstates.

Understanding that Llorens is the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is the most famous and read newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the newsletter.


Astonished by the fact that Llorens is one of the most influential nations in Nationstates and is also ranked in the top 1% for the most pacifist, best weather, most environmental beauty in the community and various other indexes.

Exclaimed by the fact that Llorens Created The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and made the IAFF World Cup, a great success by having participants from many regions.

Approving that Llorens has been invested variously important positions in the NSLeft Organisation and also had governing experience in The East Pacific.

Hereby Commends Llorens
Co-Authored by Grod Island

[Thousand Branches]

EDIIIIITS!! Falls over. Edits:

Noting that since Llorens' creation in May 2016, it has immensely served The Leftist Assembly (TLA), as well as being an important participant in world journalism and international sports;

I actually rather like this clause! "immensely served" is interesting language but it works here

As a note though, throw "Llorens" and "The Leftist Assembly" in some bb code nation tags.

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

"the region" should probably be "The Leftist Assembly"

Also I would do "Llorens' momentous contributions" rather than "the momentous contributions by Llorens"

Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,

"countless" is grammatically incorrect unless you did "pieces of legislation" instead of just "legislation".

Delete the second instance of "proposing".

"which established the Supreme Court of the region" should be in parentheses.

"the Military Removal Act" should be "and the Military Removal Act.

"which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military" should once again be in parentheses.

Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,

Should "Competitions" be plural? Additionally, should "Culture Competitions" as a whole be capitalized?

"which have since become a regional tradition" would fit better in parentheses after "Culture Competitions".

Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens, in order to assist regional leaders to ensure that the rules and policies were made aware and followed. It aimed to reduce domination by a single political tendency in the region,

"in order to assist" --> "thereby assisting"

"to ensure" --> "in ensuring"

"aware and followed" --> " fully clear and properly followed"

". It aimed to reduce" --> "and reducing"

"a single" --> "any single"

Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations and promoting interregional harmony, resulting in the strong relationship between The Leftist Assembly and other left inclined regions and also the recent signing of "The Laika Accord" and establishment of embassies with The West Pacific,

"promoting" --> "promoted"

The second half of this clause should be reworded, I'd give my suggestion here:

"resulting in the strong relationship between The Leftist Assembly and many notable regions such as [region]The Communist Bloc[/nation] and the recent signing of "The Laika Accord" to establish embassies with The West Pacific,"

Creating the highly factual and timely updated TLAwiki which serves as the regional encyclopaedia containing regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others and Documentation of the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments and bringing the available information for public access,

Maybe instead of "highly factual" something like "unbiased"?

"as the" --> "as both the"

"cultural and sporting" --> "and cultural/sporting"

"Documentation" should not be capitalized.

"bringing" --> "releasing"

Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly and bolstering TLA from outside threats,

"which is credited with significantly increasing" could also just be "which significantly increased". In junction with this, "bolstering" would also be "bolstered".

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms, wherein they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in Nationstates,

[FULL REWRITE]

"Acknowledging Llorens' Secretary service in The Leftist Assembly, serving for a regional record of four terms, a reign in which they empowered the region and made it one of the largest leftist communities in the (Multiverse/World),"

Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation;

"was the Chief" --> "served as Chief"

"Nationstates Today" should be "NationStates Today (NST)

Delete "which is"

"a widely circulated newsletter in NationStates' should be in parentheses and "in" should be "across".

"being an Executive in different boards of the organisation;" should simply be replaced with a colon for the following list. It is unnecessary and grammatically does not fit with the list.

served in various positions including but not limited to Chief Executive Officer twice, Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson,

"served" should be "serving".

Put "twice" in parentheses.

Oxford Comma.

have over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST,

"have" to "having"

"eighty articles" --> "eighty authored articles"

"has the record of having the most number" --> "holds the record for most"

wrote the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly,

Add "a set of articles" after "NationStates Today".

"which" should be "that"

", the series" --> and"

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day⁵ Faction “An Alliance of Potatoes” which finished second in the table after a historic comeback from negative score , and was awarded the Green Heart Award by Spiritus for their service to the community and the faction,

"the fact that Llorens played a major role as" --> "Llorens' major role as"

"the table" --> "overall score"

No space before the comma.

"and was awarded the" --> "and (its/their) subsequent awarding of the"

Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship, which empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports by providing a different championship for regions to participate in,

"by the fact that Llorens hosted" --> "by Llorens' hosting of"

"which empowered" --> "thereby empowering"

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles such as the representative of The Leftist Assembly in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world; Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation,

[FULL REWRITE]

"Appreciating the various important roles Llorens has held, such as being representative from The Leftist Assembly in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world; Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms in NSLeft including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation,

Concluding that Llorens has been an impressive contributor to The Leftist Assembly, NationStates Today and the sporting community, and thus merits official recognition by this body,

Oxford comma.

Edits done! Hope they were helpful and have a wonderful day,

-A

[Indusse]

Thanks, Patty and Ara for the edits. I have updated the draft once again.
Looking for more suggestions to make the draft better before moving to the last call.

[Indusse]

I am thinking of moving this to the last call. I would like to see if there's anymore suggestions before I do it soon.

[Apatosaurus]

I am thinking of moving this to the last call. I would like to see if there's anymore suggestions before I do it soon.

You have an extra line-space between "Recognizing" and the list. Otherwise, no more comments.

EDIT: The co-author no longer has to go in the proposal text as co-authors are now added as a setting during submission.

[Indusse]

The Formatting Error has been fixed, thanks Patty.