[DEFEATED] Commend Llorens

by **Jakker** » Sun Jan 03, 2021 5:57 pm

Alentejozinho and Algarvezinho wrote:Enjoy the rejected realms, my nitpicky friend, I've heard no region wants you...hard to see why, you must be a fun guy at parties.

You can disagree with others' opinions, but this comment was just starting to cross into a personal attack. Be mindful of that moving forward.

by **Wymondham** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 7:17 am

Alentejozinho and Algarvezinho wrote:
Bormiar wrote:He'll need those 32 votes

Plus a regional approval. Not a lot, but something. I mean, we do have a delegate, he's a little lazy but he will vote if we annoy him enough.

Enjoy the rejected realms, my nitpicky friend, I've heard no region wants you...hard to see why, you must be a fun guy at parties.

Lmao - good to see that your response to any sort of critique is to insult people. Depite our historical disagreemetns over certain IC issues, Borm's a pretty swell guy who know's a lot about the SC, I very much prefer him to someone who has all the SC expirience of a squashed apricot

by **Alentejozinho and Algarvezinho** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:47 am

Wymondham wrote:
Alentejozinho and Algarvezinho wrote:
Plus a regional approval. Not a lot, but something. I mean, we do have a delegate, he's a little lazy but he will vote if we annoy him enough.

Enjoy the rejected realms, my nitpicky friend, I've heard no region wants you...hard to see why, you must be a fun guy at parties.

Lmao - good to see that your response to any sort of critique is to insult people. Depite our historical disagreemetns over certain IC issues, Borm's a pretty swell guy who know's a lot about the SC, I very much prefer him to someone who has all the SC expirience of a squashed apricot

Oh dear, don't squish an apricot, they are rather tasty.

by **KIDS Country** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:53 am

Alentejozinho and Algarvezinho wrote:
Wymondham wrote:Lmao - good to see that your response to any sort of critique is to insult people. Depite our historical disagreemetns over certain IC issues, Borm's a pretty swell guy who know's a lot about the SC, I very much prefer him to someone who has all the SC expirience of a squashed apricot

Oh dear, don't squish an apricot, they are rather tasty.

let's keep this civil, this is a decision to commend folk, not some civil war relic turned homage site for unite the right rallyists...

by **Crazy girl** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 11:19 am

Enough with the personal attacks, back on topic now.

by **KIDS Country** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 12:04 pm

Crazy girl wrote:Enough with the personal attacks, back on topic now.

was this directed towards me :blink:

by **Alentejo and Algarve** » Mon Jan 04, 2021 4:42 pm

Wymondham wrote:to someone who has all the SC expirience of a squashed apricot

You probably think this song is about you, don't you? Don't you?

by **Crazy girl** » Tue Jan 05, 2021 1:37 am

Crazy girl wrote:back on topic now.

Let me make myself clear, this was not a request.

Alentejo and Algarve wrote:
Wymondham wrote:to someone who has all the SC expirience of a squashed apricot

You probably think this song is about you, don't you? Don't you?

Considering your clean record, I'll leave this at

Unofficial warning for continuing a threadjack after I told you all to get back on topic.

by **Indusse** » Tue Jan 05, 2021 2:31 am

Sorry, got busy with Christmas. I'm back here and I've noted the comments and suggestions thanks!

by **Honeydewistania** » Tue Jan 05, 2021 4:38 am

Indusse wrote:Sorry, got busy with Christmas. I'm back here and I've noted the comments and suggestions thanks!

Instead of noting them, you could try implementing the suggestions/addressing the comments through changes to the proposal test

by **Kavagrad** » Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:35 pm

Llo is lovely and is already commended in my eyes <3

by **Indusse** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:44 pm

This Draft was somewhat in a dead state, I have started working on it again and the new draft will be up within a few days. Thanks to those who suggested changes and I would like to welcome others to suggest something so that the proposal can be made better.

by **Cedoria** » Fri Mar 05, 2021 7:38 pm

I agree the proposal needs work, that said, if it gets good enough, I’m in favour.

To clarify on the history point, I did write TLA’s original history project, Llorens produced a subsequent document that detailed the history of the region since it’s founding, while my project covered the history up until it’s founding as part of the prior communities from which it was formed. I’m sure Llo can dig up a copy of that document if people want proof of his involvement in that (or if I get time to go through my drive, I can probably find it as well).

by **Indusse** » Thu Mar 11, 2021 9:01 pm

Cedoria wrote:I agree the proposal needs work, that said, if it gets good enough, I’m in favour.

To clarify on the history point, I did write TLA’s original history project, Llorens produced a subsequent document that detailed the history of the region since it’s founding, while my project covered the history up until it’s founding as part of the prior communities from which it was formed. I’m sure Llo can dig up a copy of that document if people want proof of his involvement in that (or if I get time to go through my drive, I can probably find it as well).

Thank you for saying about the history part and yes, the proposal still needs some work
We are on to it, RL pulls us off.

by **Honeydewistania** » Fri Mar 12, 2021 2:43 am

Indusse wrote:
Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, during which they served the region by designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region.

Did Llorens design the government within his 350 days as delegate, or were those two separate events? If they are, you have to make that clearer. Also if I'm not wrong Llorens also controls TLA's founder account, which might be useful to mention.

Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

i. Proposing countless remarkable legislation concentrating on simplifying the Constitution and making the government system more efficient,
ii. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
iii. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens,
iv. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program which has greatly improved the region’s foreign relations,
v. Documenting the regional history from a neutral perspective, incorporating elements of both government and community developments,
vi. Creating the highly factual and regularly updated TLAwiki which contains regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others.

1. Remarkable legislation - like what? How are they remarkable?
2. How is tracking demographics and improving foreign relations commendable? Elaborate more,
3. "neutral perspective" seems slightly misleading considering Llorens' significant role in TLA. Perhaps you should change the adjective.

Acknowledged by the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region and the leftist community of Nationstates.

Acknowledged by the fact -> Acknowledging the fact. Also, how has Llorens empowered the leftist community as Secretary? And how is that commendable?

Understanding that Llorens is the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is the most famous and read newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:
i. They were elected the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice and is currently holding the position.
ii. Llorens decorated the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer,Editor,Governor and Chairperson in NSToday
iii. Llorens has over eighty articles in the NationstatesToday Newsletter which is regarded as the most read newsletter in (SCR#302) and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST.
iv. They also writes the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth.

1. Don't say 'most famous and read newspaper', especially if it probably isn't true. Say 'widely circulated'. 2. Also, what have they done as CEO that's commendable.
3. What does 'decorated the posts' mean?
4. You have some grammar mistakes where there isn't a space after some commas.
5. Why are you linking to a repealed resolution? I'd drop that.
6. How is writing 'The Shift' helpful or commendable?

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has been awarded the Green Heart Award of Spiritus and the prefix SPH for their momentous contribution towards The Potato Alliance in the Nuclear Apocalypse.

Personally, I'm opposed to commending people for one off events. However if you want to include this, that's fine. But beware of the character count.

b]Amazed[/b] by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and made the IAFF World Cup, a great success by having participants from many regions.

Again, why and how is this commendable?

Approving that Llorens has been in the NSLeft Organisation, helping the organisation in its development and also had governing experience in The East Pacific including being a Magister of TEP.

What did they do as Magister? How was that commendable? What did they do in NSleft and how was it commendable?

Indusse, I strongly advise you to ask yourself the questions I have posed to you, answer them and incorporate those answers into your draft. This will go a long way into making your draft ready to be passed by the WA

by **Indusse** » Tue Mar 30, 2021 3:42 am

The Draft has been Updated. We are trying our best to get more information into the draft. We hope we do get them soon.

by **Indusse** » Sun Apr 04, 2021 9:37 pm

/bump

here · by **Llorens** » Tue Apr 13, 2021 6:52 pm

So just a few factual points, obviously I don't want to really influence my own proposed commendation but would like the record to be correct.

Indusse wrote:Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, during which they served the region by designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region by introducing different remarkable legislatures. They also control the Leftist Assembly Founder Nation and oversee the region.

I've been primarily responsible for many of the region's major institutional reforms, but not during my time as Secretary (the title of the region's leader, who is constitutionally bound to be Delegate) from memory. This included a consolidated one-branch government when political parties collapsed in the region's infancy in 2016, and more recently a full separation of powers with Uan aa Boa and Greylyn in the 2019 'Separate Cabinet' legislative package. I co-control the founder nation alongside Cedoria and Kavagrad presently and have done so since 2018.

Indusse wrote:Recognizing the momentous contributions by Llorens to the region, including:

i. Proposing countless remarkable legislation concentrating on simplifying the Constitution and making the government system more efficient like the various bills.
ii. Organizing the first-ever Culture Competitions, a biannual event to design and vote for new regional symbols which have since become a regional tradition,
iii. Hosting the first-ever quarterly regional census to track the demographics of the region’s citizens,
iv. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program which has greatly improved the region’s foreign relations by deploying ambassadors and other officials.
v. Documenting the regional history by incorporating elements of both government and community developments,
vi. Creating the highly factual and regularly updated TLAwiki which contains regional information such as election details, legislative proposals, cultural and sporting events among others,
vii. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which has increased the regional world assembly population.

(ii) and (iii) aren't incorrect per se, but I did continue running both of those - either on my own or alongside relevant Ministers - for a few years until roughly last year when I more or less have handed over the job (I still help out where needed). As for (v), I wrote a 7000ish word text called 'The Comprehensive History of The Leftist Assembly' in 2020 for specificity, which is on top of the regional wiki which I created and have curated since I think 2017 on different platforms (now on our own hosted wiki: tl.awiki.org). For (vii), I wouldn't necessarily credit it with increasing our WA population, though its likely it did in the immediate implementation of it in January 2020; the main impact has more so been maximising our Delegate endos as a proportion of all WA members and also making TLA one of the consistently highest-ranking regions on average WA endorsements (record high of 2nd, fluctuate between 3rd and 7th now).

Indusse wrote:Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region, making it one of the largest leftist community in Nationstates. They had created a major portion of the legislature while they were the secretary.

Again that didn't happen while I was Secretary, and I don't want to give the illusion that I've single-handedly made TLA's government what it is today. The Secretary is also an executive role, as opposed to the point about legislation you've made. I have passed by far the most amount of legislation in the region's history, however. Whether that's notable is up for debate.

Indusse wrote:Understanding that Llorens was the Chief Executive Officer of Nationstates Today, which is a widely circulated newsletter in Nationstates and has also served the writing community of Nationstates Today by being an Executive in different boards of the organisation including:
i. He was elected the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice.
ii. Llorens was elected to the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson in NSToday.
iii. Llorens has over eighty articles in the Nationstates Today Newsletter and has the record of having the most number of articles written in NST.
iv. He also writes the Shift Series in Nationstates Today which analyses the World Assembly and its growth, the series helps others with comparing statistics regarding the growth of different regions in the world assembly.

I was not elected as CEO, I was appointed by the Chairperson and confirmed by the Governors.

Indusse wrote:Amazed by the fact that Llorens hosted The International Association of Football Federation World Cup (IAFF World Cup) as an invitational inter-regional soccer championship that varied from the majestic Nationstates World Cup and empowered various regions to take part in Nationstates Sports.

This was a Discord-based football roleplay that I was a co-organiser of in 2018 and brought back to life in early 2020, which was quite successful for a short while before unfortunately dying out due to my lack of time late last year. Not sure if that reframes this point in any way.

Indusse wrote:Approving that Llorens has been in the NSLeft, which is the largest Leftist Organisation in Nationstates helping the organisation in its development to be one of the largest political organisations in the history.

This is a pretty vague point, but if you would like to note anything, I was one of the key authors of the major reforms of the NSLeft in 2019 (I think that was the year?). There's an NSToday article someone (not me I think) wrote about it at the time if you would like to search for it.

---

by **Indusse** » Sat Jul 03, 2021 2:45 am

After a long time, updated the draft. Suggestions can be posted so that we can improve this.

by **Praeceps** » Sat Jul 03, 2021 10:48 am

Indusse wrote:Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, during which they served the region by designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region by introducing different remarkable legislatures. They also control the Leftist Assembly Founder Nation and oversee the region.

Oversee the region how? As a note, all of these questions I ask should have the answer included in the resolution. I'm not sure what you mean by "introducing different remarkable legislatures", if you mean they introduced new laws, I would use "legislation" instead of "legislatures". A legislature is the body that makes laws (aka legislation).

iv. Establishing the highly successful ambassador program and the region's Diplomacy Hub, both of which greatly improved the region's foreign relations

How were the region's foreign relations improved?

vii. Launching the immensely successful Revolutionary Support Exchange (RoSE) program which is credited with significantly increasing the region's power in the World Assembly.

What does this program do?

Acknowledging the fact that Llorens served The Leftist Assembly as the Secretary for a regional record of four terms empowering the region, making it one of the largest leftist community in Nationstates. They had created a major portion of the legislature while they were the secretary.

If you mean that they created a lot of the laws, I would suggest using legal code or legal system or laws; whichever is most appropriate. It should be "one of the largest leftist communities" instead. Extraneous space between in and Nationstates. The fact should be bolded.

i. He was appointed the Chief Executive Officer of NSToday twice.
ii. Llorens was elected to the posts of Chief Content Officer, Chief Publishing Officer, Editor, Governor and Chairperson in NSToday.

What did they do that matters in these positions?

Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day Faction "Alliance of Potato" and was awarded the Green Heart Award for their contribution in the event.

What did Llorens do in their role? I continue to not be a fan of mentioning players receiving other awards in their commendation.

Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world. Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation.

"with appreciation" should not be bolded. What impact has NSLeft had on the world?

by **Indusse** » Tue Aug 24, 2021 2:54 am

We have tried our best getting necessary information for the proposal, the draft has been updated

by **The Python** » Tue Aug 24, 2021 8:00 pm

Okay, this seems like an interesting draft. It does need a lot of work, however:

Indusse wrote:Noting that Llorens was the Delegate of The Leftist Assembly for a total period of 350 days, during which they served the region by designing the majority of the region's government system, also contributing to the growth of the region by introducing different remarkable legislations.

What parts of the government system? What kinds of remarkable legislations?

Side note, you should also use

Code: Select all: [list=i] [*]Never [*]Gonna [*]Give [*]You [*]Up[/list]

coding for lists instead of

Code: Select all: i. Never ii. Gonna iii. Give iv. You v. Up

Indusse wrote: Proposing countless remarkable legislation such as proposing a new simplified Constitution and Code of Laws, the Judicial Separation Act which established the Supreme Court of the region, the Military Removal Act which abolished the region's dormant and inactive military among many others,

This technically answers my feedback above, but is fluff because it duplicates what you already mentioned. Use this detail in the noting clause instead.

Indusse wrote:They created the major legal system while they were in power.

Is this the same thing as above again >_>

Indusse wrote:Astonished by the fact that Llorens has played a major role as the Potato General of the N-Day Faction "Alliance of Potato", and was awarded the Green Heart Award for their contribution to the event such as Planning and Execution.

What's the Green Heart Award? I've never heard about it lol. It's "An Alliance of Potatoes" not "Alliance of Potato", and what major role did they play? Also add the fact that the potato alliance got to second place.

Indusse wrote:Viewing with appreciation that Llorens has served in various important roles in the NSLeft, an organisation formed to increase coordination and give a stronger voice to left-wing nations of the world. Llorens was also one of the leaders who spearheaded major reforms including the ‘2019’ reforms to improve efficiency and coordination in the organisation.

Which important roles?

Indusse wrote:Hereby Commends Llorens

Use [nation] tags, and make sure to add a full stop at the end

by **Indusse** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 10:08 pm

The Draft has been updated after a long break. Thanks Python for the suggestions.

by **Tinhampton** » Thu Oct 14, 2021 2:02 am

Your UNDERSTANDING clause continues to refer to Llorens as a "he" on multiple occasions; you've been here long enough to know why that's illegal and how you can change it.

The first letter in the word "designing" should start with a capital D. The word "regions" in the NOTING clause should also be "region's." It should perhaps be clarified that AAP's nuclear-powered achievements occurred in 2020 (given that the most properly-named The Potato Alliance had the lowest score in 2021). And of course there is a missing summary clause at the end; you might want to check out past Commendations for examples

by **Indusse** » Thu Oct 14, 2021 4:38 am

Thank you for the comments, I've got the draft updated once again.
I think the final clause isn't as good as it should be, would like to have some suggestions on that.

[DEFEATED] Commend Llorens

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