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[PASSED] Commend Kenmoria

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Honeydewistania
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[PASSED] Commend Kenmoria

Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Nov 09, 2020 8:39 pm

An extremely deserving candidate that I had been wanting to commend for a while now, and following the failure of Commend Northern Borland I have decided to post this. Feedback appreciated :)

Also, no, the resolution tags aren’t broken, they only parse gameside.
The Security Council,

Believing that nations that make significant contributions to the international community should be formally recognised, and that Kenmoria is one such nation,

Applauding Kenmoria’s novel approach to economic freedom, which includes allowing corporations to own and operate judicial systems and entire towns, and such a deregulated model has resulted in the privately-owned Kenmorian airports and airways being reputed for their efficient security and affordable accommodations,

Impressed by the Kenmorian government, a parliamentary democracy elected every five years, which has enacted policies beneficial for the Kenmorian populace such as a nationwide subsidised internet connection and a world-class road infrastructure,

Recognising Kenmoria for their involvement in the crisis in Posteastan via the corporation Construction Enterprises, in which they provided humanitarian aid and helped to reconstruct civilisation after a complete obliteration of social order,

Further recognising that Kenmoria, despite not being an official member of the World Assembly, is in compliance with every resolution passed, a shining example of which many other non-WA member nations should follow,

Fully appreciating the Kenmoria WA Mission, led by the Ambassador James Lewitt, for their omnipresence in World Assembly discussion channels and forums, in which they:
  • provide consistent and constructive criticism on draft proposals, as well as suggest crucial additions to content, ensuring that resolutions passed may be of the highest quality,
  • create a more positive and conducive environment for newer and less experienced authors, and guide them in the tough process of passing their own proposals,
  • state extremely insightful opinions and commentaries on World Assembly related discussion (excepting one occasion that deservedly resulted in the defenestration of Ambassador Lewitt), which are understandably revered by the international community,

Extolling the Kenmoria WA Mission for their co-authorship of several resolutions, which further indicates their devotion to assisting fellow delegations in improving international law, ensuring the passage of resolutions such as:
  • [resolution=GAR#48q]General Assembly Resolution 481 "Data Protection Accord"[/resolution], a resolution which guaranteed privacy for people in member nations by prohibiting most cases of non-consensual data collection,
  • [resolution=GAR#494]General Assembly Resolution 494 "Regulating Desalination"[/resolution], a resolution which enforced environmental regulations regarding the construction and operations of desalination plants,
  • [resolution=GAR#511]General Assembly Resolution 511 "Ensuring Effectual Recycling"[/resolution], a resolution which required systems for the recycling of items to be in place, allowing for reuse of waste and preventing it from damaging ecosystems,

Praising the Kenmoria WA Mission for their contributions to international law as submitting author, which include:
  • [resolution=GAR#469]General Assembly Resolution 469 "Reducing Food Waste"[/resolution], a resolution which prevented the unnecessary wastage of edible food, protecting the environment and providing nourishment for the poor,
  • [resolution=GAR#475]General Assembly Resolution 475 "Promoting Natural Sciences in Schools"[/resolution], a resolution which ensured that all students in member nations received a science education based on empirical evidence and logical reasoning,

Observing that while in Europe, Kenmoria served as an Undersecretary of the European WA Office, and in that position they participated in the authorship of multiple informational dispatches for residents of Europe, allowing them to make well-informed votes on World Assembly proposals,

Acclaiming Kenmoria’s authorship of the document 'Power to the (AI) People', which highlighted the issue of Artificially Intelligent citizens being shut down as a result of power trips, resulting in governments making prompt decisions to resolve the issue,

Concluding that Kenmoria is a nation that absolutely deserves formal recognition, and that an official commendation from this Council is in order,

Hereby commends Kenmoria.
Last edited by Honeydewistania on Thu Nov 26, 2020 11:07 pm, edited 22 times in total.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Nov 09, 2020 8:42 pm

Also for those about to complain that this is my second ‘capitalism good’ proposal in a row, I promise there won’t be anymore :p
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Drop Your Pants
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Postby Drop Your Pants » Mon Nov 09, 2020 8:44 pm

Kenmoria WA Mission is their WA, no 'n'.

And my own nitpick is the whole list under the nation link should have a capital at the start of each one :P
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Morover
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Postby Morover » Wed Nov 11, 2020 1:46 pm

I had a half-draft of this going that I was going to give to someone to adapt into something, as Kenmoria is incredibly deserving, but you've lessened my "before-CTE" plate a bit.

My biggest critique is that your "Appreciating" clause should ideally be stronger in language - I think the feedback given by Kenmoria is their biggest strong-point and it cannot be overemphasized.

Other than that, full support and good luck!

If you wish to use any of my previous work - be it World Assembly or otherwise - feel free to use it, but I ask that you credit me as a co-author. If the piece credits a non-CTE'd co-author, I ask that you approach them first.
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Wayneactia
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Postby Wayneactia » Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:03 am

I remember when commends actually meant something. Now it seems, you pass a couple of resoultions and you automatically get a commend badge.

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Nov 12, 2020 7:17 am

Wayneactia wrote:I remember when commends actually meant something. Now it seems, you pass a couple of resoultions and you automatically get a commend badge.

This isn’t like Commend Morover, I’m not commending Kenmoria for passing resolutions, I’m commending them for being helpful.

Since I don’t see a need to continue waiting (I had been private drafting this for little over two months), I’m going to submit it soon
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The Unified Missourtama States
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Postby The Unified Missourtama States » Thu Nov 12, 2020 7:48 am

I think Kenmoria is worthy of a commendation, and your draft highlights this very well. There are however some things in wordings that stifle that point:
Honeydewistania wrote:The Security Council,

Believing that nations that make significant contributions to the international community ought to be formally recognised, especially those that contribute to this very Assembly,

I have never heard ought in formal writing, only in conversational contexts, it does not contribute anything, so I would change it for uniformity. Why is assembly capitalized? The use of "this" is as a determiner, which we usually don't do with proper nouns.
Noting that Kenmoria is one such nation dedicated to the mission of improving the lives of many through its actions in the World Assembly and elsewhere,

I think you could merge this one with the above, let's just get to the point.
Applauding the novel approach to economic freedom by Kenmoria, which includes allowing corporations to own and operate judicial systems and entire towns due to extreme deregulation, and such a model has resulted in the privately-owned Kenmorian airports and airways being reputed for their efficient security and affordable accommodations,

That sounds like literal hell, further so given that the WA is governmental, maybe a condemnation is better? I'm still fine with a commendation, and the rest of the proposal seems to support it, but maybe think about rewording.
Fully appreciating the Kenmoria WA Mission, led by the Ambassador James Lewitt, for their omnipresence in World Assembly discussion channels and forums,

Are we commending a person? Not a fan, in my opinion commending people, even fake, should be illegal.
European WA Office,

The formatting change from region-hyperlink to not in the middle of the word "European" is very much bothering me, maybe instead say "WA Office Of Europe."
Concluding that Kenmoria is a nation that absolutely deserves formal recognition, and that an official commendation from this Council is in order,

Once again, with the conversational syntax, no! Please put it in formal, it would be easier to hear, but to read it is a nightmare.

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Nov 12, 2020 8:12 am

Not sure how cheap but secure flights is literally hell. Also, I’m not commending Ambassador Lewitt, I’m stating for the record that the WA office is led by them.

I’ll consider your other suggestions though :)
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Refuge Isle
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Postby Refuge Isle » Thu Nov 12, 2020 7:08 pm

I agree that Kenmoria is a good target. He's been a helpful force in the GA board on getting people's drafts to a better place, including mine, and has been doing that for years. Whether or not now is the right time for this resolution, I don't know. Mechanically, I see a couple errors.

[resolution=GAR#470]General Assembly Resolution 475 "Promoting Natural Sciences in Schools"[/resolution], a resolution which ensured that all students in member nations received a science education based on empirical evidence and logical reasoning,

The tag that you've used here is 470, so it will be linking to an entirely different resolution.

[resolution=GAR#488]General Assembly Resolution 488 "Data Protection Accord"[/resolution], a resolution which guaranteed privacy for people in member nations by prohibiting most cases of non-consensual data collection,

GAR#488 is not Data Protection Accord, it's Repeal: “Ensuring Safe Syringe Use”. You're looking for #481.

which brought the issue of

I think this could be reworded to not sound like a sentence fragment.

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Nov 12, 2020 7:27 pm

I swear I fixed the resolution numbers >.>

Edited accordingly
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The Unified Missourtama States
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Postby The Unified Missourtama States » Fri Nov 13, 2020 3:00 pm

Much better!

I'll be glad to see this in queue.

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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Sun Nov 15, 2020 8:45 am

I’m half and half on this one. You do make a good case for Commendation, but at the same time I’m not 100% convinced. That not convinced part tends to agree with Wayneactia.

However, as always the writing is good and the research is of a high quality.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Sun Nov 15, 2020 8:49 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:I’m half and half on this one. You do make a good case for Commendation, but at the same time I’m not 100% convinced. That not convinced part tends to agree with Wayneactia.

However, as always the writing is good and the research is of a high quality.

Thank you, BBD.
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Refuge Isle
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Postby Refuge Isle » Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:18 am

This is now at vote.

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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:23 am

Honeydewistania wrote:
Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:I’m half and half on this one. You do make a good case for Commendation, but at the same time I’m not 100% convinced. That not convinced part tends to agree with Wayneactia.

However, as always the writing is good and the research is of a high quality.

Thank you, BBD.

After a number of re-reads I decided that, on balance, there was a good case for Commendation - have voted “For” and made the same recommendation to my Delegate.
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Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

RiderSyl wrote:If an enchantress made it so one raid could bring about world peace, Unibot would ask raiders to just sign a petition instead.

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:29 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:Thank you, BBD.

After a number of re-reads I decided that, on balance, there was a good case for Commendation - have voted “For” and made the same recommendation to my Delegate.

Yay! Thanks
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Czechoslovakia and Zakarpatia
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Postby Czechoslovakia and Zakarpatia » Mon Nov 23, 2020 5:40 am

Speedy Against. How on Earth could anyone even think of commending and approving a corrupt corporate oligarchic dystopia is beyond me. This resolution shall soon be consigned to the dustbin of history, God willing.

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Nov 23, 2020 5:45 am

Czechoslovakia and Zakarpatia wrote:Speedy Against. How on Earth could anyone even think of commending and approving a corrupt corporate oligarchic dystopia is beyond me. This resolution shall soon be consigned to the dustbin of history, God willing.

Kenmoria isn’t really as bad as you think, they’ve authored a couple of pro-education and environment resolutions.
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Rothnia
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Postby Rothnia » Mon Nov 23, 2020 12:19 pm

Kenmoria promotes a political and economic system that is completely at odds with my communist society. I must therefore vote against this resolution.

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Marxist Germany
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Postby Marxist Germany » Mon Nov 23, 2020 12:30 pm

OOC: Kenmoria is definitely deserving of this.
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Maowi
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Postby Maowi » Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:07 pm

Best of luck, glad to see the vote count is where it is!

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Byzconia
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Postby Byzconia » Mon Nov 23, 2020 4:24 pm

Wayneactia wrote:I remember when commends actually meant something. Now it seems, you pass a couple of resoultions and you automatically get a commend badge.

My thoughts exactly. So many commendations these days seem to just be listing off things people have done and going, "See?" Also, the domestic stuff is completely irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. Commendations should be about meaningfully contributing to NS in exceptional ways, not for RPing whatever random policies (not the in-game kind) you imagine your nation as having. And in terms of actual in-game stuff (i.e. the things that matter), I don't see anything particularly worthy of a commendation. It's nice that Kenmoria has passed a few resolutions and helped other people on theirs, but I don't see any reason to give a commend simply for that.
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Wayneactia
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Postby Wayneactia » Mon Nov 23, 2020 7:52 pm

Yet another participation badge being handed out.

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Nov 23, 2020 8:00 pm

Wayneactia wrote:Yet another participation badge being handed out.

:roll:
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Astrobolt
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Postby Astrobolt » Mon Nov 23, 2020 8:32 pm

Wayneactia wrote:Yet another participation badge being handed out.


Cheers.
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