[PASSED] Commend Kuriko

[Sedgistan]

Submitted Version of this resolution.

The Security Council,

Asserting that Kuriko has been a force for good for over 8 years, and has contributed to NationStates through various ways including coordinating regional defence; authoring Security Council proposals and developing a multitude of regions,

Noting that Kuriko has been prolific in their efforts to bring the Security Council to action; and has authored the greatest number of Security Council Resolutions,

Further noting that Kuriko utilised the power of the Security Council for the maximum benefit of vulnerable regions, including helping to intervene and restore regional sovereignty to native nations of The Monarchist Entente, resulting in the stability of the region and preventing the complete destruction of the region and it’s community,

Observing that Kuriko was elected to the position of World Assembly Secretary General, building a large movement in support of their vision to create a better future for the World Assembly,

Recognising that Kuriko founded the major region The Hole to Hide In which at times has contained over 400 members,

Further Recognising Kuriko’s work in The Hole to Hide In which includes administering the region’s assets and continually ensuring the region’s activity,

Attesting that Kuriko has held leadership positions within several high profile and distinguished defender organisations and has served served as a Tactical Officer for the The Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation; and was a Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Wardens,


Applauding the successful defence missions that Kuriko has led and co-ordinated, including their vital role in halting an attempted coup of The East Pacific in 2019 by mobilising defending forces, training members of the government to effectively handle the coup and assisting nations in their ability to administer The East Pacific following the conflict,


Highlighting that Kuriko has additionally oversaw and contributed to the regional defence of 10000 Islands in the capacity of World Assembly Delegate for over a year; maintaining 10000 Islands’ world assembly voting bloc and co-ordinating voting and discussion procedures within the region,


Appreciating Kuriko’s diplomatic contributions to 10000 Islands as the second-longest serving World Assembly Delegate of the region, negotiating and signing notable treaties including:

• The Southern Islander Accords, a treaty which shows solidarity between the defender regions of 10000 Islands and the South Pacific;
• The Rejected Realms Treaty of Friendship, which is seen as a milestone for improving relations between the Rejected Realms and 10000 Islands;
• The 10000 Islands - Yggdrasil treaty, which solidified the bond between Yggdrasil and 10000 Islands,

Further Asserting that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates,

Hereby Commends Kuriko.

Co-authored by Markanite and Concrete Slab

The Security Council,

Asserting that Kuriko has been a force for good for over 8 years, and has contributed to NationStates through various ways including coordinating regional defence; authoring Security Council proposals and developing a multitude of regions,

Noting that Kuriko has been prolific in their efforts to bring the Security Council to action; and has authored the greatest number of Security Council Resolutions,

Further noting that Kuriko utilised the power of the Security Council for the maximum benefit of vulnerable regions, including helping to intervene and restore regional sovereignty to native nations of The Monarchist Entente, resulting in the stability of the region and prevent the complete destruction of the region and it’s community,

Observing that Kuriko was elected to the position of World Assembly Secretary General through the support of a large grassroots movement enabling her to create a better future for the World Assembly,

Recognising that Kuriko founded the major region The Hole to Hide In which at times has contained over 400 members,

Further Recognising Kuriko’s work in The Hole to Hide In which includes administering the region’s assets and continually ensuring the region’s activity,

Attesting that Kuriko has held leadership positions within several high profile and distinguished defender organisations and has served served as a Tactical Officer for the The Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation; and was a Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Wardens,


Applauding the successful defence missions that Kuriko has led and co-ordinated, including their vital role in halting an attempted coup of The East Pacific in 2019 by mobilising defending forces, training members of the government to effectively handle the coup and assisting nations in their ability to administer The East Pacific following the conflict,


Highlighting that Kuriko has additionally oversaw and contributed to the regional defence of 10000 Islands in the capacity of World Assembly Delegate for over a year; maintaining 10000 Islands’ world assembly voting bloc and co-ordinating voting and discussion procedures within the region,


Appreciating Kuriko’s diplomatic contributions to 10000 Islands as the second-longest serving World Assembly Delegate of the region, negotiating and signing notable treaties including:

• The Southern Islander Accords, a treaty which shows solidarity between the defender regions of 10000 Islands and the South Pacific;
• The Rejected Realms Treaty of Friendship, which is seen as a milestone for improving relations between the Rejected Realms and 10000 Islands;
• The 10000 Islands - Yggdrasil treaty, which solidified the bond between Yggdrasil and 10000 Islands,

Further Asserting that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates,

Hereby Commends Kuriko.

Co-authored by Markanite and Concrete Slab

The Security Council,

Asserting that Kuriko has been a force for good for over 8 years, and has contributed to NationStates through various ways including coordinating regional defence; authoring Security Council proposals and developing a multitude of regions,

Noting that Kuriko has been prolific in their efforts to bring the Security Council to action; and has authored the greatest number of Security Council Resolutions,

Further noting that Kuriko utilised the power of the Security Council for the maximum benefit of vulnerable regions, including helping to intervene and restore regional sovereignty to native nations of The Monarchist Entente, resulting in the stability of the region and prevent the complete destruction of the region and it’s community,

Observing that Kuriko was elected to the position of World Assembly Secretary General through the support of a grassroots movement, leading the World Assembly to a better future,

Recognising that Kuriko founded the major region The Hole to Hide In which at times has contained over 400 members,

Further Recognising Kuriko’s work in The Hole to Hide In which includes administering the region’s assets and continually ensuring the region’s activity,

Attesting that Kuriko has held leadership positions within several high profile and distinguished defender organisations, and has served served as a Tactical Officer for the The Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation; and was a Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Wardens,


Applauding the successful defence missions that Kuriko has led and co-ordinated, including their vital role in halting an attempted coup of The East Pacific in 2019 by mobilising defending forces, training members of the government to effectively handle the coup and assisting nations in their ability to administer The East Pacific following the conflict,


Highlighting that Kuriko has additionally oversaw and contributed to the regional defence of 10000 Islands in the capacity of World Assembly Delegate for over a year, this included maintaining 10000 Islands’ world assembly voting bloc and co-ordinating voting and discussion procedures within the region,


Appreciating Kuriko’s contributions to 10000 Islands as the second-longest serving World Assembly Delegate of the region, also includes negotiating and signing treaties and opening embassies between multiple regions and 10000 Islands, including:

• The Southern Islander Accords, a treaty which shows solidarity between the defender regions of 10000 Islands and the South Pacific;
• The Rejected Realms Treaty of Friendship, which is seen as a milestone for improving relations between the Rejected Realms and 10000 Islands;
• The 10000 Islands - Yggdrasil treaty, which solidified the bond between Yggdrasil and 10000 Islands,

Further Asserting that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates,

Hereby Commends Kuriko.

Co-authored by Markanite and Concrete Slab

The Security Council,

Asserting that Kurikohas been a force for good for over 8 years, and has contributed to NationStates through various ways including co-ordinating regional defence, authoring Security Council proposals and developing a range of regions,

Noting that Kuriko has authored the greatest number of Security Council Resolutions,including:

• Security Council Resolution #253 - Liberate The Monarchist Entente;
  
• Security Council Resolution #257 - Repeal Liberate The Monarchist Entente;
  
• Security Council Resolution #261 - Repeal "Liberate The Communal Confederacy";
  
• Security Council Resolution #262 - Commend Frattastan ii;
  
• Security Council Resolution #269 - Condemn Macedon;
  
• Security Council Resolution #276 - Commend Paffnia;
  
• Security Council Resolution #284 - Commend Common Territories;
  
• Security Council Resolution #291 - Commend Duxburian Union;
  
• Security Council Resolution #293 - Commend Markanite,

Further noting that Kuriko utilised the power of the Security Council for the maximum benefit of vulnerable regions helping to intervene and restore regional sovereignty to native nations of The Monarchist Entente, resulting in the stability of the region and prevent the complete destruction of the region and it’s community,

Recognising that Kuriko founded the major Future Technology roleplaying region The Hole to Hide In, which at its peak contained over 300 members,

Further Recognising Kuriko’s work in The Hole to Hide In, which included administering the region’s off-site assets and continually ensuring the region’s activity,

Attesting that Kuriko has held leadership positions within several high profile and distinguished defender organisations, and has served served as a Tactical Officer for the The Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation; and was a Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Wardens where she organised and participated in multiple high-profile defences including repeated defenses of notable nations such as England and Iran,


Applauding Kuriko for the successful participation in the defence missions and co-ordination of defender forces as a member and tactical officer of the Ten Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation,


Further Applauding Kuriko for playing a vital part in halting the coup of The East Pacific in 2019 by playing a huge role in mobilising defender forces, training members of the government, assisting nations in their ability to administratively control The East Pacific and subsequently to effectively handle the coup and help regain control of the region,

Highlighting that Kuriko has additionally oversaw and contributed to the regional defence of 10000 Islands in the capacity of World Assembly Delegate for over a year, this included maintaining 10000 Islands’ world assembly voting bloc and co-ordinating voting and discussion procedures within the region,


Appreciating Kuriko’s contributions to 10000 Islands as the second-longest serving World Assembly Delegate of the region, also includes negotiating and signing treaties and opening embassies between multiple regions and 10000 Islands, including:

• The Southern Islander Accords, a treaty which shows solidarity between the defender regions of 10000 Islands and the South Pacific;
• The Rejected Realms Treaty of Friendship, which is seen as a milestone for improving relations between the Rejected Realms and 10000 Islands;
• The 10000 Islands - Yggdrasil treaty, which solidified the bond between Yggdrasil and 10000 Islands

,


Further Asserting that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates,

Hereby Commends Kuriko.

Co-authored by Markanite and Concrete Slab

The Security Council,

Asserting that Kuriko has been a force for good for over 8 years, and has contributed to NationStates through various ways in various incarnations,

Noting that Kuriko has authored the greatest number of Security Council Resolutions in several incarnations, including:

• Security Council Resolution #253 - Liberate The Monarchist Entente;
  
• Security Council Resolution #257 - Repeal Liberate The Monarchist Entente;
  
• Security Council Resolution #261 - Repeal "Liberate The Communal Confederacy";
  
• Security Council Resolution #262 - Commend Frattastan ii;
  
• Security Council Resolution #269 - Condemn Macedon;
  
• Security Council Resolution #276 - Commend Paffnia;
  
• Security Council Resolution #284 - Commend Common Territories;
  
• Security Council Resolution #291 - Commend Duxburian Union;
  
• Security Council Resolution #293 - Commend Markanite,

Recognising that Kuriko, under the alias Lenylvit founded the major roleplaying region The Hole to Hide In which served as a home for many nations,

Applauding Kuriko for the successful participation in the defence over 85 regions as a member of the Ten Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation,

Further Applauding Kuriko for playing a vital part in halting the coup of The East Pacific in 2019 by playing a huge role in mobilising defender forces to assist in the region and assisting nations in The East Pacific to effectively handle the coup and help regain control of the region,


Attesting that Kuriko has held leadership positions within several defender organisations, and has served served as a Tactical Officer for the The Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation; and was a Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Wardens,

Appreciating Kuriko’s contributions to 10000 Islands as the second-longest serving delegate of the region, which includes negotiating and signing treaties and opening embassies between multiple regions and 10000 Islands, including:

• The Southern Islander Accords, a treaty which shows solidarity between the defender regions of 10000 Islands and the South Pacific;
• The Rejected Realms Treaty of Friendship, which is seen as a milestone for improving relations between the Rejected Realms and 10000 Islands;
• The 10000 Islands - Yggdrasil treaty, which solidified the bond between Yggdrasil and 10000 Islands

,


Further Asserting that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates,

Hereby Commends Kuriko.

Co-authored by Markanite and Concrete Slab.

This is the first draft of this proposal, and my first attempt at a proposal. I naturally welcome any hints, tips or suggestions.

The Security Council,

Noting that the Security Council can chose to commend those whose achievements and actions contribute to, not only their home region but the international community

Attesting that Kuriko has been a force for good for over 8 years. During this time, the nation has been held in high esteem across the NationStates in various incarnations including Lenlyvit.

Recalling that Kuriko has successfully participated in defence over 85 regions as a member of TITO. Kuriko also served as a Tactical Officer for three months directing the defence of regions who were unfairly invaded.

Appreciating that Kuriko's impact on the World Assembly has a whole has been recognised at the recent 2019 Defender Awards by winning The World Assembly Security Council Award.

Further Appreciating the multiple Security Council Resolutions authored by Kuriko, including:

• SC#262 - Commend Frattastan ii
  
• SC#276 - Commend Paffnia
  
• SC#284 - Commend Common Territories
  
• SC#293 - Commend Markanite

Applauding Kuriko's record of service to the defender cause. Kuriko has achieved five 'Coast Watcher Eagles' as a result of identifying and foiling invasions including South_Africa and England.

Observing that Kuriko has been delegate and organised a variety of interregional events with the allies of 10000 Islands including A_hole_to_hide_in, forest, The South Pacific and International_Northwestern_Union

Further Applauding Kuriko's work to help support The East Pacific during their recent elections cycle. Kuriko helped to coordinate anti-coup forces and was instrumental in organising support for Marrabuk

Further noting that under the aliases Bovitt Cay and Asuna 1 authored both

• SC#253 - Liberate The Monarchist Entente and
• SC#257 - Repeal Liberate the Monarchist Entente respectively

Assertingthat Kuriko has held leadership positions within several defender organisations including The RRA and The Order of Grey Wardens.

Highlighting the further international accomplishments of Kuriko include:

• Delegate of 10000 Islands
  
• Cultural Officer of The Rejected Realms
  
• Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Warden
  
• General and Commander of The Knights Radiant, defender military of FORGE.
  
• Cartographer of the Hole to Hide In
  
• Commander of Solidarity, a defender organization to help raided regions.

Further Recognising that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates.

Hereby Commends Kuriko

Co-Authored by Markanite and Concrete Slab

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Just had a quick read of the proposal and on first look it looks legal.

What does stand out to me is that it could be better organised and ordered. You seem to jump around a bit e.g. you mention Kuriko’s efforts in the defender cause, then a few clauses later you talk about their membership of TGW.

Likewise after noting Kuriko’s successful SC resolutions you wait for a couple of clauses before mentioning those written under an alias.

Anyway those are just my first impressions - I will try and give it a more detailed look later.

[Yohannes]

Hiii Agalaesia,

This is not an endorsement of your proposal (I don't know Kuriko's Gameplay career that well), but thought I'd let you know that I'm currently helping Kuriko with their proposal (I'm the co-author, with Kuriko as the lead author and researcher) to commend Sarzonia, who is a long-standing writer in NationStates Forum's National and International Roleplaying boards (especially NS Sports). I'm not sure, but I think Kuriko is also working on other community side projects

I'd recommend you wait (with this proposal) until Kuriko has finished Commend Sarzonia and their other side projects

Again, I don't know Kuriko that well. I'm neutral (concerning this proposal)

Best wishes

Support!

[Bormiar]

Hiii Agalaesia,

This is not an endorsement of your proposal (I don't know Kuriko's Gameplay career that well), but thought I'd let you know that I'm currently helping Kuriko with their proposal (I'm the co-author, with Kuriko as the lead author and researcher) to commend Sarzonia, who is a long-standing writer in NationStates Forum's National and International Roleplaying boards (especially NS Sports). I'm not sure, but I think Kuriko is also working on other community side projects

I'd recommend you wait (with this proposal) until Kuriko has finished Commend Sarzonia and their other side projects

Again, I don't know Kuriko that well. I'm neutral (concerning this proposal)

Best wishes (Image)

I think (see Skydip, Topid, Abacathea) she’s got enough already so there’s no point waiting indefinitely.

[Yohannes]

she’s got enough already so there’s no point waiting indefinitely.

Then that's great!

[Marilyn Manson Freaks]

This reads a bit list-ish. DM me and I can propose some edits if you'd like.

Also, minor nitpick but, it's not "Cultural Officer" of The Rejected Realms. It's Officer of Culture. A good rule for this is to replace "Officer" with Minister and see if it sounds right.

[Vincent Drake]

I know Kuriko pretty well and think she definitely potentially worthy of commendation. However, I would recommend a few changes -

1. It needs better organizational flow. You have three main themes here - defending work, authorship, and regional service. You want to group the points for each within each and not have them randomly mixed throughout. A high quality commendation tells a logical story that we can follow.

2. You want to drop the Defender Award and Coast Watcher Eagles. They are awards already, we don't want to be awarding people for winning awards. Instead, focus on Kuriko's work in spotting, why it was important, what invasions were picked up and defended, were natives worked with to prevent raids? This is the good stuff that tells us why spotting matters and what impact it has on potential raid targets. Kuriko is uniquely good at proactively working with natives to avoid invasion, so go into detail, it's good stuff.

3. Kuriko also commended me (through Duxburian Union) SC #291. You could include that on the list.

4. Kuriko has a worthy service record in TGW worth including, with big liberations led. Big libs are important to include to show why defending matters, the impact it has on real communities.

5. For regional service, you want to talk about the impact of those events and delegacies, not just that she held the positions. How did life improve in those regions? What did Kuriko do with the delegacy of 10KI that others have not? Or Culture in TRR?

Just some food for thought.

[A Bloodred Moon]

As others have pointed out, it’s slightly messy.

What I think is important to mention is that Kuriko is the original founder of both A Hole To Hide In and later The Hole To Hide In, both large RP regions. Both are mentioned, but it should be noted that she is the Founder instead of merely the former Cartographer, and she still holds the founder account (Candensia briefly held it for a while, but other than that it’s been Kuriko’s since the start).

Other than that, I think it looks good at first glance.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

On further reading I believe you have the makings of a good proposal here though, as I and others have pointed out, it's a bit messy in terms of flow.

One further point; although you mention Lenlyvit at the start of the proposal there is no further mention of Kuriko's work in that incarnation. There are certainly a couple of SC resolutions authored by Lenlyvit (e.g. Commend Texas) which would give more weight to the section of works authored under an alias.

[Marxist Germany]

OOC: Her work as delegate of XKI needs to be heavily expanded upon, under her first term, she signed an alliance with TRR if I recall correctly, she also signed an alliance with TSP in her second term, you could also mention how she has served second-longest as Delegate, and if she gets re-elected in the upcoming elections, and serves her term, she will become the longest-serving XKI delegate. You could also perhaps include other achievements such as the founding of The Hole to Hide In, and serving as Senator of Himes West in XKI.

As to specific changes, here we go:

Noting that the Security Council can choose to cCommend those nations whose achievements and actions contribute to, not only their home region, but the international community (I also suggest ending every clause with a comma, as a resolution is just one really long sentence.)

Observing that Kuriko has been delegate and organised a variety of interregional events with the allies of 10000 Islands including A_hole_to_hide_in, forest, The South Pacific and International_Northwestern_Union (Cut out this entire section and just include it under a mega section of her achievements as Delegate of XKI, and as a side note, it's "The Hole to Hide in" currently as "A Hole to Hide In" was the older incarnation.)

Further Recognising that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates. (This is a bit unnecessary, Fratt, and Markanite have both done much more than Kuriko in my opinion, but that does not make her achievements less important, perhaps just a recap on her achievements should be enough.)

Overall, I am in strongly supportive of this, Kuriko has done enough to warrant a Commend, however, you need to clean up and organise the proposal, and do some more research before submission.

[Praeceps]

You should note the number of resolutions Kuriko and her associated nations have authored. Additionally, that she has more SC resolutions authored than anyone.

[Ramaeus]

Worthy candidate, but the proposal is incredibly barren. You need a lot more information. Some things to consider: prominent defenses she was involved in (go into detail and explain why they're important), prominent initiatives she undertook as XKI Delegate, and expand on her international presence. She was extraordinarily helpful in TEP's efforts to remove Fedele from power.

Given this needs an extensive rewrite, I'm not particularly inclined to edit it since I'd basically be writing and researching the proposal for you.

So, I'm against.

[Bormiar]

If I need to elucidate or something, just say so.

The Security Council,

Noting that the Security Council can chose to commend those whose achievements and actions contribute to, not only their home region but the international community

I don't think you need this. Generally, a clause preceding your "thesis" would be a premeditated argument defending an unconventional concept, in my opinion. For example:

Believing that posthumous condemnations ought not to be invalidated by the Security Council for its nominee’s demise, as condemnations serve to recognize and provide an example of unethical actions as well as create a moral basis behind liberations and future condemnations,

In that example, the clause that precedes mentioning the nominee was my tack-on response to this problem. This example, however, is not really defending anything peculiar or unconventional. It just defines the standard for commendations, which I think virtually all voters accept. So it's a little fluffy.

Attesting that Kuriko has been a force for good for over 8 years. During this time, the nation has been held in high esteem across the NationStates in various incarnations including Lenlyvit,

1) Don't even bother mentioning Lenlyvit. It was all done by Kuriko, and Lenlyvit has a connotation to Kuri's noobier times.

2) This is supposed to be like a thesis/assertion, so it should be much more specific than that. Here's an explanation of an assertion.. Just google "how to write assertions" and make it into a preambulatory clause. "Recognizing" is my go-to pre-ambulatory phrase for assertions, but "Attesting that" looks even better in my opinion.

3) Resolutions are in a grammatically sentence format. Such as "The Security Council, Noting that Kuriko is cool, Hereby commends Kuriko" <== that's a sentence. As such, it is poor form to have periods rather than commas at the end of each pre-ambulatory clause (and poor form to not say "The Security Council," at the beginning). Additionally, for future reference, a semicolon is grammatically to a period in the middle of a clause. That last bit might be pedantic, but it's not too hard to change.

Recalling that Kuriko has successfully participated in defence over 85 regions as a member of TITO. Kuriko also served as a Tactical Officer for three months directing the defence of regions who were unfairly invaded.

85 is extremely low based on precedent (of thousands), so this should not be an early clause (region-building or SC should). Additionally, you should state whether any of those officer positions or defenses were particularly remarkable. If not, you might not even want to mention it passed being a "throwaway" clause.

Appreciating that Kuriko's impact on the World Assembly has a whole has been recognised at the recent 2019 Defender Awards by winning The World Assembly Security Council Award.

As others have opined, it's silly to award someone for being awarded. Instead, state why they were awarded: for their liberations.

Further Appreciating the multiple Security Council Resolutions authored by Kuriko, including:

• SC#262 - Commend Frattastan ii
  
• SC#276 - Commend Paffnia
  
• SC#284 - Commend Common Territories
  
• SC#293 - Commend Markanite

So if the last clause is about liberations, this ones about C&Cs, which is much more impressive.

Is there anything remarkable about any of Kuriko's resolutions. If so, you should stress those in depth. You also should (especially if they're standard proposals in your judgement) (for the sake of free "wow!"s) emphasize that Kuri has written the most SC resolutions of all time (not the most C&Cs, which would be Unibot until Kuri writes 2 more resolutions. Try not to mix them up). Describing the resolutions in general as well-written and well-researched and such will also help.

Right now, their WA work is not done justice.

Applauding Kuriko's record of service to the defender cause. Kuriko has achieved five 'Coast Watcher Eagles' as a result of identifying and foiling invasions including South_Africa and England.

Again, this seems borderline as you did say why, but I'd just mention that she's a good spotter.

Observing that Kuriko has been delegate and organised a variety of interregional events with the allies of 10000 Islands including A_hole_to_hide_in, forest, The South Pacific and International_Northwestern_Union

1) Clarify that she was delegate of 10KI
2) That's all she did in 10KI? Even if there's nothing that great domestically, stress Foreign Affairs work (such as these events; the treaty with TSP, TEP, and TRR; and embassies with Laz and TEP and probably a few others)

Further Applauding Kuriko's work to help support The East Pacific during their recent elections cycle. Kuriko helped to coordinate anti-coup forces and was instrumental in organising support for Marrabuk

How did she help? I believe showed Bach how to endo-surf (which might be a term non-compliant with R4).

Further noting that under the aliases Bovitt Cay and Asuna 1 authored both

• SC#253 - Liberate The Monarchist Entente and
• SC#257 - Repeal Liberate the Monarchist Entente respectively

This should go up in the liberation section (WASC award clause). Don't mention the puppet nations.

Assertingthat Kuriko has held leadership positions within several defender organisations including The RRA and The Order of Grey Wardens.

What leadership positions? What did she do?

Highlighting the further international accomplishments of Kuriko include:

• Delegate of 10000 Islands
  
• Cultural Officer of The Rejected Realms
  
• Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Warden
  
• General and Commander of The Knights Radiant, defender military of FORGE.
  
• Cartographer of the Hole to Hide In
  
• Commander of Solidarity, a defender organization to help raided regions.

You're really jumping in around in importance here. In my opinion, delegate of 10KI (see FA stuff above) and warden of TGW (which one?; see "leadership in TGW+RRA" clause above; it's grey wardens), and founder of the Hole to Hide In could be deserving of their own clause. The rest is scrappable.

Further Recognising that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates.

You can re-write this to restate the assertion when you do that.

Hereby Commends Kuriko

The one place where the period belongs (other than acronyms and ellipses) is where you didn't put it.

This is promising, but not ready yet. It'll take some work (first times always do).

---

How I Might Structure it:

[assertion]

[10KI delegacy]

[Founder of The Hole to Hide In]

[C&C stuffs]

[liberation proposals]

[defending]

That suggested format could probably use work, but I think it would be fine.

Edit: that was longer than I expected

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

Is "alias" as a synonym for "puppet" R4-compliant?

[Lyrical International Brigade]

Is "alias" as a synonym for "puppet" R4-compliant?

I'm just astonished "satellite" isn't in more common use.

[Agalaesia]

We've redrafted the resolution. It now includes more information about several things, including Kuriko's delegacy in XKI; Kuri's response to the TEP coup and Security council resolutions, amongst a few other things.

[Fauxia]

Don’t just do a laundry list of resolutions. Pick a few and explain why they’re important.

And I assume Kuri has more than 85 regions defended because that’s not that many. I bet I have several times that number and I was not anything near a prolific defender

[Bormiar]

The Security Council,

Asserting that Kuriko has been a force for good for over 8 years, and has contributed to NationStates through various ways in various incarnations,

A force for good... how? "Various ways"? If your noob friend asked you who Kuriko was, is this what you would tell them, or at least very close to it? If yes, I think you've been liberated of further questions. If no, this needs rephrasing. Be more specific.

Noting that Kuriko has authored the greatest number of Security Council Resolutions in several incarnations, including:

• Security Council Resolution #253 - Liberate The Monarchist Entente;
  
• Security Council Resolution #257 - Repeal Liberate The Monarchist Entente;
  
• Security Council Resolution #261 - Repeal "Liberate The Communal Confederacy";
  
• Security Council Resolution #262 - Commend Frattastan ii;
  
• Security Council Resolution #269 - Condemn Macedon;
  
• Security Council Resolution #276 - Commend Paffnia;
  
• Security Council Resolution #284 - Commend Common Territories;
  
• Security Council Resolution #291 - Commend Duxburian Union;
  
• Security Council Resolution #293 - Commend Markanite,

Ahh very list-y. I'd pick the best ones and roll with them in detail.

And can you ditch the "in various incarnations" thing? It's confusing, vague, and doesn't contribute to the proposal past alluding to Kuriko's noob days.

Recognising that Kuriko, under the alias Lenylvit founded the major roleplaying region The Hole to Hide In which served as a home for many nations,

How does The Hole to Hide In roleplay (e.g. past tech, future tech, NS sports, P2TM, etc)? What sets it apart (could just be size, in which case you can say "large")? Remember SC resolutions should be timeless if possible, so mentioning dynamic things you can find on the region page is helpful.

Applauding Kuriko for the successful participation in the defence over 85 regions as a member of the Ten Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation,

Well that doesn't sound like much. Anything... special about them?

Further Applauding Kuriko for playing a vital part in halting the coup of The East Pacific in 2019 by playing a huge role in mobilising defender forces to assist in the region and assisting nations in The East Pacific to effectively handle the coup and help regain control of the region,

That's fine. You have more than one space between this clause and the next

Attesting that Kuriko has held leadership positions within several defender organisations, and has served served as a Tactical Officer for the The Thousand Islands Treaty Organisation; and was a Warden Commander of The Order of The Grey Wardens,

What do you do as these positions?

Appreciating Kuriko’s contributions to 10000 Islands as the second-longest serving delegate of the region, which includes negotiating and signing treaties and opening embassies between multiple regions and 10000 Islands, including:

• The Southern Islander Accords, a treaty which shows solidarity between the defender regions of 10000 Islands and the South Pacific;
• The Rejected Realms Treaty of Friendship, which is seen as a milestone for improving relations between the Rejected Realms and 10000 Islands;
• The 10000 Islands - Yggdrasil treaty, which solidified the bond between Yggdrasil and 10000 Islands

,

Here's a good clause. I don't have any further questions, but would like you to mention other jobs as delegate (world assembly).

Further Asserting that the contributions of Kuriko go farther than those in this proposal and have benefitted and improved the current state of numerous regions and nations across NationStates,

Two spaces between this clause and the previous. Again, very vague. See comment about the introductory clause and revise, please.

Less suggestions than last time. So either you've culled the proposal, it's better, or I'm too tired.

[Praeceps]

I think this commendation still has quite a ways to go before it is ready. Can you go into more specific detail about how Kuriko assisted defenders during TEP's coup? I'm thinking of her helping Bach update surf as a specific example which can be mentioned.

[Agalaesia]

Third Draft of this is now up. I appreciate any comments you may have.

I'm curious as to whether the terms "Off-site assets" and "Future Tech Roleplaying" would be legal. Could someone clarify?

[Bormiar]

Third Draft of this is now up. I appreciate any comments you may have.

I'm curious as to whether the terms "Off-site assets" and "Future Tech Roleplaying" would be legal. Could someone clarify?

Neither are legal.

I would remove those unnecessary details. Then I'd replace "future tech" with something along the lines of "hub for intergalatic nations".

Will look at it in closer detail later.

[Morover]

I echo most of the sentiments stated here, so I won't be repetitive with it.

Noting that Kuriko has authored the greatest number of Security Council Resolutions,including:

This, however, could use some rewording. Personally, I'd word it as the following (feel free to use this or any version of it without credit):

Astonished at Kuriko's immense number of Security Council Resolutions, which at the current time number into the double-digits, making the delegation from the nation to be the most prolific in the world,

Particularly intrigued by the sentiments reflected by the language in the following Resolutions:
[insert three or four particularly insightful resolutions here]

While I'm all for listing the resolutions if there's only a handful of them, I think it's necessary to cut down on them, and only list the ones which led to a significant change in the precedence of the Security Council, or has some other quality about it that sticks out, and then elaborate on those. A very good example of how this is done correctly is Imperium Anglorum's Commendation.

[Candensia]

Recognising that Kuriko founded the major Future Technology roleplaying region The Hole to Hide In, which at its peak contained over 300 members,

Two things here. While roleplay in THTHI is trending towards future tech, this has only been a very, very recent development. For most of the regions' history, modern tech has been the norm. If any tech level is specified in the resolution, modern, not future tech, should be it.

Second, maybe it's just regional-bias but, "which at its peak contained over 300 members", makes it sound like THTHI is withering and dying. I'd say "which, at its highest peak to date, contained over 300 members".

Further Recognising Kuriko’s work in The Hole to Hide In, which included administering the region’s off-site assets and continually ensuring the region’s activity,

I'd replace "included" with "includes" or "has included", as these actions continue to the present day.

[Fauxia]

Is "future tech" R4 compliant? It can’t be the future to the WA since it is canonically occurring, surely.

[A Bloodred Moon]

Asserting that Kurikohas been a force for good for over 8 years, and has contributed to NationStates through various ways including co-ordinating regional defence, authoring Security Council proposals and developing a range of regions,

Needs a space between "Kuriko" and "has".

In addition to Candensia's post, it should be noted that The Hole To Hide In peaked at 400 nations, not 300.