NationStates

Here is a draft I had been thinking about for a while. Special thanks to Malphe and Nightkill for helping me out on this! Thanks for any and all advice in advance.

The Security Council,

Noting that the nation of Pierconium was founded before even the advent of the calendar system in time immemorial;

Observing that the nation of Pierconium, throughout their long history, has participated in and lead many despicable acts throughout the realms which have largely gone unnoticed and which the international community should be made aware of;

Appalled that, in 2004, Pierconium supported the brutal coup d'etat of The North Pacific by the New Pacific Order, itself a condemned organisation per SC#268, and ordered forces hailing from New Sparrow to support the rogue delegate Great Bight and later Francos Spain, founder of the New Pacific Order;

Shocked that Pierconium, using their puppet government of Gracius Maximus and its influential position in The North Pacific, manipulated the government of the then Delegate nation of Pixiedance to gain control of that nation's power within the feeder to subvert and destroy the governing body of The North Pacific. Using that power they systematically disbanded the lawful government in lieu of one they themselves envisioned, called the North Pacific Directorate, and removed nearly 500 native nations they saw as threats to their power;

Astonished that Pierconium played a key role in setting up Okhrana, an international spy network, which gathered intelligence from a wide range of regions and maintained in operation for several years;

Outraged that, in 2008, Pierconium, under the name of "Lord Darkseid", participated in a group known as "the Empire" as a founding member, which overthrew the legal government of The East Pacific and established an illegitimate regime for over 5 months;

Stunned that, as That Called the Vlagh, Pierconium was instrumental in the survival of the authoritarian Triumvirate of The West Pacific, which established a legacy of Delegate Supremacy and a Meritocratic government that continues to influence The West Pacific to this day;

Aware that Pierconium was an influential member of Gatesville, a region known for its opposition of the World Assembly as well as its coup of Osiris in 2013;

Further Noting that Pierconium has served in various positions with the governing body of The Pacific, known as the New Pacific Order, since that body's early history starting in 2004. These positions include the titles of Chief Justice of the High Court, Governor, Senator, Regent, and Emperor. In this capacity Pierconium oversaw multiple purges of the community of The Pacific, one in 2006 and one in 2008, which saw the removal of over 5,032 nations native to their region;

Firmly believing that these deeds warrant condemnation,

Hereby condemns Pierconium.

Co-authored by Nightkill and Malphe.

This is going over a whole lot of stuff so any corrections or additional facts/context about the events described here would be very appreciated!

Malphe wrote:This is going over a whole lot of stuff so any corrections or additional facts/context about the events described here would be very appreciated!

Especially when it comes to the Triumvirate, Empire, and Gatesville

It's been quite a while since I was active, and I never paid much attention to feeder politics to begin with, so I'll limit myself to grammar and rules related comments

Kingdom of Napels wrote:The Security Council,

Noting that the nation of Pierconium was founded before even the advent of the calendar system in time immemorial;

Observing that the nation of Pierconium, throughout their long history, has participated in and lead many despicable acts throughout the realms which have largely gone unnoticed and which the international community should be made aware of;

I think a comma after "throughout" wouldn't hurt, though I don't think it's necessarily something that needs to be changed.

Appalled that, in 2004, Pierconium supported the brutal coup d'etat of the North Pacific by the New Pacific Order, itself a condemned organisation per SC#268, and ordered forces hailing from New Sparrow to support the rogue delegate Great Bight and later Francos Spain, founder of the New Pacific Order;

The underlined section is potentially problematic; technically SC #268 is condemning the entirety of the North Pacific based off of the actions of the NPO, as opposed to condemning the NPO itself.

Astonished that Pierconium played a key role in setting up Okhrana, an international spy network, which gathered intelligence from a wide range of regions and maintained in operation for several years;

A bit more may be necessary here. Plenty of regions/nations engage in interregional espionage and intelligence gathering, so it may be worth noting why exactly this specific instance is worthy of condemnation.

Outraged that Pierconium, under the name of "Lord Darkseid", participated in a group known as "the Empire" as a founding member, which overthrew the legal government of the East Pacific and established an illegitimate regime for over 5 months;

Maybe throw in what year this took place in.

No further comments.

First of all, the advice is appreciated.

Eumaeus wrote:It's been quite a while since I was active, and I never paid much attention to feeder politics to begin with, so I'll limit myself to grammar and rules related comments

Kingdom of Napels wrote:The Security Council,

Noting that the nation of Pierconium was founded before even the advent of the calendar system in time immemorial;

Observing that the nation of Pierconium, throughout their long history, has participated in and lead many despicable acts throughout the realms which have largely gone unnoticed and which the international community should be made aware of;

I think a comma after "throughout" wouldn't hurt, though I don't think it's necessarily something that needs to be changed.

I don't see how that would improve the proposal?

Appalled that, in 2004, Pierconium supported the brutal coup d'etat of the North Pacific by the New Pacific Order, itself a condemned organisation per SC#268, and ordered forces hailing from New Sparrow to support the rogue delegate Great Bight and later Francos Spain, founder of the New Pacific Order;

The underlined section is potentially problematic; technically SC #268 is condemning the entirety of the North Pacific based off of the actions of the NPO, as opposed to condemning the NPO itself.

Yes and no. The Pacific was condemned for it's government's actions and history, I believe.

Astonished that Pierconium played a key role in setting up Okhrana, an international spy network, which gathered intelligence from a wide range of regions and maintained in operation for several years;

A bit more may be necessary here. Plenty of regions/nations engage in interregional espionage and intelligence gathering, so it may be worth noting why exactly this specific instance is worthy of condemnation.

Okay, noted.

Outraged that Pierconium, under the name of "Lord Darkseid", participated in a group known as "the Empire" as a founding member, which overthrew the legal government of the East Pacific and established an illegitimate regime for over 5 months;

Maybe throw in what year this took place in.

No further comments.

The Empire coup of the East Pacific took place in 2008. I will add that in.

Yes, the Empire coup of TEP was late 2008 to early 2009. Trust Ivan to pick Darkseid.

It's about time Ivan gets the recognition he deserves. Full support from me in principle (provided there are no serious historical errors, etc).

*its coup

And I think Ivan purged The Pacific quite badly if I’m remembering.

Unibot III wrote:*its coup

And I think Ivan purged The Pacific quite badly if I’m remembering.

Yes he did.

No mention of his involvement as That Called the Vlagh in the West Pacific Triumvirate - a fairly serious oversight.

Unibot III wrote:*its coup

And I think Ivan purged The Pacific quite badly if I’m remembering.

Look at the NPO clause.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:

Unibot III wrote:*its coup

And I think Ivan purged The Pacific quite badly if I’m remembering.

Yes he did.

No mention of his involvement as That Called the Vlagh in the West Pacific Triumvirate - a fairly serious oversight.

*looks up* I think I said we needed more information on his involvement in the Triumvirate. Do you know anything there Bhang Bhang Duc?

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:

Unibot III wrote:*its coup

And I think Ivan purged The Pacific quite badly if I’m remembering.

Yes he did.

It's in the draft.

No mention of his involvement as That Called the Vlagh in the West Pacific Triumvirate - a fairly serious oversight.

Correct. We were aware of his involvement, but did not have sufficient information on the Triumvirate itself, even less about Ivan's involvement there. We're still looking for information, which we also stated in the thread. If you have any knowledge about his involvement in the Triumvirate/on the Triumvirate itself, please tell us.

With regards to The West Pacific Triumvirate I suggest you talk (nicely) to Wickedly Evil People - he’s much better placed to know Vlagh’s involvement than me. I was on the losing end of that stick.

TAO may also be able to shed some light on this.

viewtopic.php?p=23741485#p23741485
viewtopic.php?p=18363021#p18363021

Here's a bit about the Triumvirate that I could find in the Gameplay forums.

Xoriet wrote:viewtopic.php?p=23741485#p23741485
viewtopic.php?p=18363021#p18363021

Here's a bit of about the Triumvirate that I could find in the Gameplay forums.

I’d completely forgotten about writing that and pinching Logue’s rhyme about Ethelred the Unready. Still best to go to the source though i.e. WEP.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:

Xoriet wrote:viewtopic.php?p=23741485#p23741485
viewtopic.php?p=18363021#p18363021

Here's a bit of about the Triumvirate that I could find in the Gameplay forums.

I’d completely forgotten about writing that and pinching Logue’s rhyme about Ethelred the Unready. Still best to go to the source though i.e. WEP.

Xoriet wrote:https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=23741485#p23741485
viewtopic.php?p=18363021#p18363021

Here's a bit about the Triumvirate that I could find in the Gameplay forums.

Thanks for the help, Bhang and Xor. I will see what I can find more on this subject.

Unibot III wrote:*its coup

And I think Ivan purged The Pacific quite badly if I’m remembering.

I Command F'd to find this typo in the draft, and found a second one:

Kingdom of Napels wrote:Shocked that Pierconium, using their puppet government of Gracius Maximus and it's influential position in The North Pacific...

Eumaeus wrote:

Unibot III wrote:*its coup

And I think Ivan purged The Pacific quite badly if I’m remembering.

I Command F'd to find this typo in the draft, and found a second one:

Kingdom of Napels wrote:Shocked that Pierconium, using their puppet government of Gracius Maximus and it's influential position in The North Pacific...

Those aren't typos. "Its" is not the same as "it's", as the word "it's" means "it is" or "it has" and the word "its" means "something belonging to it". In the case provided in the resolution we are talking about the nation's influence, which belongs to it.

Nightkill wrote:

Eumaeus wrote:I Command F'd to find this typo in the draft, and found a second one:

Those aren't typos. "Its" is not the same as "it's", as the word "it's" means "it is" or "it has" and the word "its" means "something belonging to it". In the case provided in the resolution we are talking about the nation's influence, which belongs to it.

So... they used "their puppet... and it is influential position" to manipulate Pixiedance? That sentence is supposed to make sense?

Edit: Actually, after rereading your post, I believe you thought I changed the wording from what it was in the OP. I only highlighted the typo, I didn't change it.

It should be "its" but it is "it's".

Eumaeus wrote:

Nightkill wrote:Those aren't typos. "Its" is not the same as "it's", as the word "it's" means "it is" or "it has" and the word "its" means "something belonging to it". In the case provided in the resolution we are talking about the nation's influence, which belongs to it.

So... they used "their puppet... and it is influential position" to manipulate Pixiedance? That sentence is supposed to make sense?

Edit: Actually, after rereading your post, I believe you thought I changed the wording from what it was in the OP. I only highlighted the typo, I didn't change it.

It should be "its" but it is "it's".

Oh, yup. Sorry!

Nightkill wrote:

Eumaeus wrote:So... they used "their puppet... and it is influential position" to manipulate Pixiedance? That sentence is supposed to make sense?

Edit: Actually, after rereading your post, I believe you thought I changed the wording from what it was in the OP. I only highlighted the typo, I didn't change it.

It should be "its" but it is "it's".

Oh, yup. Sorry!

No problem. If I wanted to highlight it I probably should have just underlined it.

The typos and spelling mistakes should be dealt with. If you spot any more, please tell us. Thanks for informing us about them.

Armaros wrote:The typos and spelling mistakes should be dealt with. If you spot any more, please tell us. Thanks for informing us about them.

Kingdom of Napels wrote:Observing that the nation of Pierconium, throughout their long history, has participated in and lead many despicable acts throughout the realms which have largely gone unnoticed and which the international community should be made aware of;

'Lead' (underlined) should be 'led' (because it's past tense. It might be a trans-atlantic thing but I'm pretty sure it's 'led' in both usa and european english). Also, if you want to be really nit-picky, the 'of' at the end of the clause should generally, in more formal English, go just before the second 'which'.

Astonished that Pierconium played a key role in setting up Okhrana, an international spy network, which gathered intelligence from a wide range of regions and maintained in operation for several years;

'Maintained in' isn't really a grammatically correct structure in this situation; I think it'd be better as something like 'remained in operation', or maybe 'maintained its operations'.

Further Noting that Pierconium has served in various positions with the governing body of The Pacific, known as the New Pacific Order, since that bodies early history starting in 2004. These positions include the titles of Chief Justice of the High Court, Governor, Senator, Regent, and Emperor. In this capacity Pierconium oversaw multiple purges of the community of The Pacific, one in 2006 and one in 2008, which saw the removal of over 5,032 nations native to their region;

Where you've got 'with' (underlined), do you mean 'within'?

Other than that, looks good
(Sorry, a bit of a grammar Nazi here)

Maowi wrote:

Armaros wrote:The typos and spelling mistakes should be dealt with. If you spot any more, please tell us. Thanks for informing us about them.

Kingdom of Napels wrote:Observing that the nation of Pierconium, throughout their long history, has participated in and lead many despicable acts throughout the realms which have largely gone unnoticed and which the international community should be made aware of;

'Lead' (underlined) should be 'led' (because it's past tense. It might be a trans-atlantic thing but I'm pretty sure it's 'led' in both usa and european english). Also, if you want to be really nit-picky, the 'of' at the end of the clause should generally, in more formal English, go just before the second 'which'.

Whoops. Good catch.

Astonished that Pierconium played a key role in setting up Okhrana, an international spy network, which gathered intelligence from a wide range of regions and maintained in operation for several years;

'Maintained in' isn't really a grammatically correct structure in this situation; I think it'd be better as something like 'remained in operation', or maybe 'maintained its operations'.

I will look into this.

Further Noting that Pierconium has served in various positions with the governing body of The Pacific, known as the New Pacific Order, since that bodies early history starting in 2004. These positions include the titles of Chief Justice of the High Court, Governor, Senator, Regent, and Emperor. In this capacity Pierconium oversaw multiple purges of the community of The Pacific, one in 2006 and one in 2008, which saw the removal of over 5,032 nations native to their region;

Where you've got 'with' (underlined), do you mean 'within'?

I believe "serving as <position> with <organisation>" is grammatically correct.

Other than that, looks good
(Sorry, a bit of a grammar Nazi here)

No worries, it's appreciated.

The Triumvirate was Tao, Lanier, and me.

Vlagh was very supportive of that government whose full fruition came about once we rid our selves of the loathsome off site forum legislature. Unistrut was supportive also.


I did eject BBD for a bit, I thought he was a F+P ally.


Actually I ejected them down to about 50 endo's, i figured anyone with that low a number was no threat pre-influence days.

You missed a few capital T's when you named feeders. Just a pet peeve