[PASSED] Commend Imperium Anglorum

[Abhichandra]

The proposal has been submitted: https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1494026642

The Security Council,

Applauding that Imperium Anglorum and its World Assembly delegation have authored 14 previous General Assembly resolutions at this time, including,

• "Reducing Statelessness", which introduces the Passport Organization, issues passports to stateless people, and forbids nations of robbing people of their citizenship,
• "Compliance Commission", which improves security for nations, and limits unprincipled nations from infringing on World Assembly resolutions, and,
• "Preserving Antimicrobials", which helps doctors by slowing the creation of bacterially resistant microbes, allowing doctors to provide care for their patients without the disruption,

Seeing that Imperium Anglorum has also repealed several flawed resolutions, including,

• "Rights of Indigenous Peoples", which permitted national sub-groups to disregard and neglect nationwide laws,
• "Nuclear Security Convention", which had stopped the World Assembly from passing any laws in order to protect nuclear supply chains, and,
• "Open Internet Order", which allowed the World Assembly to fine nations without any oversight, and could potentially harm user privacy, while simultaneously slowing down the internet,

Recognizing that Imperium Anglorum has provided helpful and constructive feedback on many General Assembly and Security Council drafts,

Impressed that Imperium Anglorum also developed Communiqué, a system which sends mass and recruitment telegrams, and also helps with campaigning,

Acknowledging that Imperium Anglorum maintains the ‘Passed General Assembly Resolutions’ index and has recorded 44 resolutions at this time, which helps aspiring General Assembly authors write drafts, and give them ideas for new resolutions,

Noting that Imperium Anglorum served as Europe’s WA Delegate, and while in that role has helped draft or campaign for several General Assembly resolutions proposed by Umeria, Excidium Planetis, Tinfect, Defwa, and The Global Republic,

Further acknowledging that Imperium Anglorum enacted several laws for Europe, including Europe's Basic Law, which constitutes and organizes how the region is run, and has extensively wrote and introduced other policies for Europe,

Further noting that since Imperium Anglorum was elected as WA Delegate in September 2015, the region's population increased from 500 to a record high of 950 and continues to increase, while endorsements soared up from about 190 to greater than 330,

Believing that Imperium Anglorum deserves to be commended for their hard work and commitment,

Hereby commends Imperium Anglorum

Edits 1-8: Edited draft, fixed illegalities
Edit 9-15: Basic changes, rewording and some adding of new information, fixed illegalities
Edit 16: Edited 'Acknowledging' clause
Edit 17-18: Edited 'Further Acknowledging' clause
Edit 19: Edited proposal
Edit 20-21: Edited 'Applauding' clause
Edit 21: Added 'Seeing' clause
Edit 22: Edited 'Seeing' clause
Edit 23: A bit of re-wording in the 'Seeing' clause
Edit 24: Added 'Recognizing' clause
Edit 25: Reworded 'Recognizing' clause
Edit 26: Moved 'Impressed' clause between 'Acknowledging' and 'Noting' clause, and re-worded 'Acknowledging' clause
Edit 27: Reworded 'Noting' clause

[Kitzerland]

Can't say his.

[Abhichandra]

Can't say his.

Yep, just fixed that!

[The Marsupial Illuminati]

Acknowledging that Imperium Anglorum keeps and manages the thread ‘Passed General Assembly Resolutions’ and has recorded 44 resolutions over time,

R4 violation: "thread" is an illegal term

[Abhichandra]

Acknowledging that Imperium Anglorum keeps and manages the thread ‘Passed General Assembly Resolutions’ and has recorded 44 resolutions over time,

R4 violation: "thread" is an illegal term

Is it? What should I use instead?

EDIT: I sort-of fixed it

[Kitzerland]

R4 violation: "thread" is an illegal term

Is it? What should I use instead?

EDIT: I sort-of fixed it

You could say he maintains a list of General Assembly Resolutions

[The Marsupial Illuminati]

R4 violation: "thread" is an illegal term

Is it? What should I use instead?

The list of illegal terms can be found here.

I can see that a solution has already been posted above.

[Tinhampton]

A few corrections, recommendations, and additions:

The Security Council,

Amazed with Imperium Anglourm’s dedication to the General Assembly and Europe, This should read Imperium Anglorum.

Applauding that Imperium Anglorum's World Assembly delegation has authored 14 resolutions for the General Assembly, including Reducing Statelessness, which helps stateless people receive travel documents and forbids nations from depriving others of their legal nationality, I'd recommend listing a few more resolutions and how they helped.

Acknowledging that Imperium Anglorum keeps and manages ‘Passed General Assembly Resolutions’ and has recorded 44 resolutions over time, What exactly is so significant about "44 resolutions"?

Noting that Imperium Anglorum served as Europe’s WA Delegate (and previously as Deputy Minister), and helped draft and campaign for several General Assembly resolutions proposed by Umeria, Excidium Planetis, Tinfect, Defwa, and The Global Republic, How exactly could IA have drafted WA resolutions written by others?

Further Acknowledging that Imperium Anglorum wrote several laws and policies for Europe, including Europe's Basic Law, which helps and organizes how Europe is run, You do not need the region link for "Europe" so many times.

Further Noting that since Imperium Anglorum was elected WA Delegate of Europe in September 2015, the region's population nearly doubled from 500 to record highs of almost 940, and the delegate's endorsement tally increased from 190 to 310,

Impressed that Imperium Anglorum also developed Coommunique, which sends mass telegrams and recruitment telegrams, This should read "Communique". This also needs a bit of padding out.

Believing that Imperium Anglorum deserves to be commended for hard work and dedication towards NationStates, Is this supposed to refer to NationStates as a website (illegal) or as a synonym for "the world" (legal)?

Herby commends Imperium Anglorum "Hereby", not "Herby". Herby was a Strangers' Bar regular over in the GA that CTEd a couple of months ago.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

If you're going to write a decent commendation for IA then my advice would be to concentrate on his GA work.

The stuff about his Delegacy is no more than what any other halfway decent Delegate would do for their region.

My marsupial colleague has put together a compendium of C&Cs here:

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=392800

I would advise studying the commendations for WA authorship to get an idea of the sort of detail required.

[Unibot III]

If you're going to write a decent commendation for IA then my advice would be to concentrate on his GA work.

The stuff about his Delegacy is no more than what any other halfway decent Delegate would do for their region.

There's some debate over this.

Some authors believe in a 'holistic' resolution where you include everything about their career as a commendable package, other authors believe every clause in the commendation needs to be commendable in and of itself. My personal preference is to include it: IA's work as Europe's delegate is impressive when it's placed in the context of his work in the WA. It's one thing to specialize, it's another to act as a community leader in a number of communities.

[Abhichandra]

Updated! Please tell me if you see any flaws/illegalities that I could change.

I also have a question: Should I include Defwa in it as it CTE'd?

and is saying 'General Assembly' and 'WA Delegate' R4c violations?

[Abhichandra]

What do you guys think of some of the edits I've made?

[Unibot III]

Put "Impressed" between "Acknowledging" and "Noting." It's more significant. Also, for the clause about IA maintaining the GA resolution thread you ought to say "at this time."

[Abhichandra]

Put "Impressed" between "Acknowledging" and "Noting." It's more significant. Also, for the clause about IA maintaining the GA resolution thread you ought to say "at this time."

Fixed!

[Sciongrad]

Full support for the idea, IA is definitely commendable. But I'd suggest some significant rewriting. For example, the clauses that recognize his contributions to the GA -- probably his most noteworthy attribute -- are weak. I'd suggest that rather than using scattered clauses to reference his resolutions, you use one clause and enumerate the resolutions you feel are the most noteworthy. For reference, take a look at BA or Sanctaria's commendations.

Also, I know IA would just love it if you bolded all of the operative verbs!

Just kidding don't do that.

[States of Glory]

Also, I know IA would just love it if you bolded all of the operative verbs!

In honour of IA, I suggest that the author bolds, underlines, italicises and capitalises all the clauses.

[Benevolent Thomas]

I'd personally like to see more elaboration on both the many resolutions that the nominee has authored and those that they've struck down. Informing World Assembly members on how this nation has improved the lives of their citizens would do much to paint the nominee in a positive light.

[Abhichandra]

Thanks for the feedback!
I will get to this in a few minutes.

[Abhichandra]

Ok, I changed the first two clauses.

[Consular]

I like it.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

This is looking good.

One clause that has me a little concerned is this:

Impressed that Imperium Anglorum also developed Communiqué, a program which sends mass and recruitment telegrams, and also helps with campaigning,

It's the use of the word "program" in particular. I know I'm being picky and maybe for no reason, but its use could be R4(c) non-compliant.

Maybe instead use "..... a system for sending mass and recruitment telegrams, ..."

[Abhichandra]

This is looking good.

One clause that has me a little concerned is this:

Impressed that Imperium Anglorum also developed Communiqué, a program which sends mass and recruitment telegrams, and also helps with campaigning,

It's the use of the word "program" in particular. I know I'm being picky and maybe for no reason, but its use could be R4(c) non-compliant.

Maybe instead use "..... a system for sending mass and recruitment telegrams, ..."

Ok, I changed it.

[Sciongrad]

This is much nicer. I'll look at it more closely later but I would vote yes on this.

[Tinhampton]

One of your clauses needs a bit of updating, given recent events:

Further Noting that since Imperium Anglorum was elected as WA Delegate in September 2015, the region's population increased from 500 to a record high of 933 almost 950, and endorsements increased from 190 to 310 330,

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

One of your clauses needs a bit of updating, given recent events:

Further Noting that since Imperium Anglorum was elected as WA Delegate in September 2015, the region's population increased from 500 to a record high of 933 almost 950, and endorsements increased from 190 to 310 330,

Which to me highlights an issue with using hard numbers to make a positive point in a proposal. Much better in my opinion to use more general terms, e.g. "IA as Delegate has greatly increased not only the number of residents in the region, but also their number of endorsements."