[Passed] Repeal "Quarantine Regulation"

[Imperium Anglorum]

It seems to me that some work is needed to make this more cohesive. First, you need to tell us why it matters, not what it does. Then you need to tell us why we should repeal it (and why repealing it is important). After that, tell us about replacement efforts. Then give the repeals clause.

I'd write something like (entirely based on the arguments which are provided):

The World Assembly,

Recognising that quarantines are an important tool to prevent the spread of epidemics and the loss of life associated with them,

Concerned that while 385 GA deals with many of these problems, it does not cover some unanswered issues on medical ethics and that future legislation on that front is blocked by 385 GA, making it impossible to solve those issues,

Believing that 385 GA does not provide an effective treatment of the issues and that some of its mandates would prevent nations from taking extreme measures which would save many lives,

Insert other reasons for repeal here.

Hoping to repeal and replace this resolution with one which answers these questions and deals with many of the issues pointed out by recent discussions on the matter, hereby,

Repeals 385 GA 'Quarantine Regulation'.

[Excidium Planetis]

Does anyone have any actual edit suggestions or are you people just going to keep insulting my previous decisions?

"Well, I guess I'm done here." Schultz stands up and walks out of the room. Blackbourne would leave too, but he never showed up in the first place so he can't really leave.

OOC:
I don't have anything to add on this. Quarantine resolutions aren't considered very important to Excidium Planetis due to the circumstances of my nation.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Believing that 385 GA is unacceptably brief regarding these matters, and skims many prominent issues central to the topic of quarantines;

Neville: What's wrong with being brief? The first part of this clause is not really needed.

Hoping to clear away the hastiness of 385 GA from these halls and pass a new resolution that fills the gaping hole 385 GA created;

Fairburn: If the World Assembly is willing to pass hasty resolutions, it should face the consequences of its poor decision.

Neville: I...I personally have no objections to this clause.

Hereby repeals "Quarantine Regulation".

Fairburn: Keep this clause, Ambassador Lockwood, or we will be forced to vote against.

Neville: Well, they can't exactly remove that clause, can they?

Fairburn: Eh, they could in theory, but that would be pretty stupid.

[Umeria]

[snip]

Lockwood takes out a piece of paper and starts sketching a new proposal outline, occasionally glancing at the original draft.

[Araraukar]

Lockwood takes out a piece of paper and starts sketching a new proposal outline, occasionally glancing at the original draft.

OOC: I thought Cubbins was the one that actually wrote these things? Or did that change?

[Skyviolia]

If you can assure us that you would present a more adequate resolution to replace this one, we have no reason to oppose you.

[Umeria]

OOC: I thought Cubbins was the one that actually wrote these things? Or did that change?

OOC: Lockwood's just taking notes. Later, he'll show it to Cubbins, who will write up the legalese. Carlyle then makes further edits based on commentary.

If you can assure us that you would present a more adequate resolution to replace this one, we have no reason to oppose you.

Lockwood hands the Skyviolian ambassador a copy of the replacement draft.

[Umeria]

After a while, Lockwood returns with another draft. "Okay, those first clauses are rewritten to better envelop the whole issue. I believe that addresses Parsons's concerns. So, any more proposal comments?"

[Umeria]

Lockwood is tired of being impatient. This time, he's going to sit here and silently wait for someone to respond, even if it takes a month. That'll shake up the pattern.

[Separatist Peoples]

Understanding that the logistics of quarantines and their facilitation raise many issues due to theof conflicting needs of theindividuals and the whole society in the case of an epidemic;

"You don't need to qualify a quarantine as an action taken in an epidemic. That is obvious. You have too many "glue" (or, and, of) words versus action words. About 15 glue words to about ten action words, depending on how you value unnecessary adjectives. A few edits and that ratio is down to six glue words to nine action words."

Acknowledging that the resolution put a number of measures into place which that fixed some of these issues and helpedimproved the standards and facilitation of quarantines;

However, regretting that 385 GA failed to cover manyissues involving medical ethics and medicine within a quarantine;

Questioning whether the resolution's 4- four point definition of "treatment" is malleable enough to extend to cover/include untested methods or medical experimentation procedures;

"Round numbers between one and ninety-nine should be spelled out unless they follow a numerical representation of a number, and then only if that number is consistent in use."

Believing that 385 GA does not properly address these matters, and skims many prominent central issues central to on the topic of quarantines;

Worried that the resolution makes it extremely difficult to pass further additional legislation on unaddressed medical ethics ethical problems as pertaining to quarantines;

Hoping to clear away the hastiness of 385 GA from these halls and pass a new resolution that fills thegaping hole gap 385 GA created;

Hereby repeals GAR#385,"Quarantine Regulation".[/box]

"Your Excellency's drafters have no small amount of tense agreement issues here. When referring to the resolution's actions, they should choose whether they are referring to it in the past tense or the present tense. Is it what the resolution did or does?

"I did the very best I could not to change your Excellency's particular style any more than I had to, so some of the edited sentences aren't very polished. Please, feel free to restructure them to suit your Excellency's style while bearing in mine concision and brevity in your language.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Understanding that the logistics of quarantines and their facilitation raise many issues due to theof conflicting needs of theindividuals and the whole society in the case of an epidemic;

"You don't need to qualify a quarantine as an action taken in an epidemic. That is obvious. You have too many "glue" (or, and, of) words versus action words. About 15 glue words to about ten action words, depending on how you value unnecessary adjectives. A few edits and that ratio is down to six glue words to nine action words."

Madsons: Nawwwwww. Sentences should be as long and incomprehensible as possible. How else do lawyers get paid?

[Umeria]

"It seems there is one plus to having that error in 385 GA: we are gaining valuable experience on repeal format. The clauses have been edited, but we kept 'however' in the third clause, as well as some other phrases that we feel are needed for the proposal to flow."

Cubbins chimes in. "I also made it entirely present tense. And we might have missed something, let us know if we did."

OOC: What do you mean by "Your Excellency"? Is it a legal thing?

[Separatist Peoples]

"It seems there is one plus to having that error in 385 GA: we are gaining valuable experience on repeal format. The clauses have been edited, but we kept 'however' in the third clause, as well as some other phrases that we feel are needed for the proposal to flow."

Cubbins chimes in. "I also made it entirely present tense. And we might have missed something, let us know if we did."

OOC: What do you mean by "Your Excellency"? Is it a legal thing?

OOC: Your Excellency is a standard honorific for an ambassador. My character has generally always use "ambassador" because the C.D.S.P. is meritocratic and very anti-hierarchical, but it seems to have turned into a lazy shorthand that many players use to skirt an IC/OOC confusion. Its easy to tuck ", Ambassador," into a phrase that can be understood as OOC and muddy the waters between the two. So, while the proper diplomatic way of addressing a C.D.S.P. ambassador really is to refer to them by title and not honorific, I'm trying to add an edge of realism when dealing with others.

IC:"There are still a number of awkward phrases and formatting. "However, regretting" is a deviation from your established format, and retaining "due to the" in the first line,(". . .many issues due to the individual's needs conflicting. . ."), remains clunky. My delegation had hoped that the Umerian drafting team would take the space cleared by concise edits and turn it into either examples of the charges made in the repeal, or additional arguments. The current arguments are not without merit, but extra detail will not hurt, provided it is in the form of additional clauses and not the clunky extension of existing sentences."

[Umeria]

"We will attempt to add more argumentative material in the resolution, but it might take a while."

[Umeria]

"And... done. Three new clauses with unique reasoning in each one. Of course, that probably also means we brought in a boatload of errors." Cubbins looks as if he was going to say more, but decides against it and sits back down.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Distraught by 385 GA's complete lack of information on what constitutes appropriate force when restraining infected persons attempting to escape a quarantine;

Neville: I'm not quite sure if any attempt at a replacement would be able to rectify this issue anyway.

[Umeria]

Distraught by 385 GA's complete lack of information on what constitutes appropriate force when restraining infected persons attempting to escape a quarantine;

Neville: I'm not quite sure if any attempt at a replacement would be able to rectify this issue anyway.

Carlyle: A medical ethics board would certainly help, even if it may fall short of solving it completely.

[Umeria]

The room is quiet. But, Lockwood wonders, is it "consensus" quiet? Or is it "calm before the storm" quiet?

Considering how events played out in past occurrences, he's leaning toward the latter.

[Separatist Peoples]

The room is quiet. But, Lockwood wonders, is it "consensus" quiet? Or is it "calm before the storm" quiet?

Considering how events played out in past occurrences, he's leaning toward the latter.

OOC: The council thing has most people waiting. Most of us don't see a reason to contribute when the whole system is going to change in the next breath (or month?) anyways. What we say could well be invalid soon.

[Umeria]

The room is quiet. But, Lockwood wonders, is it "consensus" quiet? Or is it "calm before the storm" quiet?

Considering how events played out in past occurrences, he's leaning toward the latter.

OOC: The council thing has most people waiting. Most of us don't see a reason to contribute when the whole system is going to change in the next breath (or month?) anyways. What we say could well be invalid soon.

OOC: So, definitely "calm before the storm" quiet.

[Separatist Peoples]

OOC: The council thing has most people waiting. Most of us don't see a reason to contribute when the whole system is going to change in the next breath (or month?) anyways. What we say could well be invalid soon.

OOC: So, definitely "calm before the storm" quiet.

OOC: Just you wait. For better or worse, this is going to kick up a storm.

[Umeria]

Lockwood gazes forlornly out the window to the other debate halls, which are overflowing with chattering ambassadors. In his drafting table? Silence. He knows it's undiplomatic to sleep on the job, but this lack of discussion is really wearing him out. Maybe he'll just rest his eyes...

[Imperium Anglorum]

Lockwood gazes forlornly out the window to the other debate halls, which are overflowing with chattering ambassadors. In his drafting table? Silence. He knows it's undiplomatic to sleep on the job, but this lack of discussion is really wearing him out. Maybe he'll just rest his eyes...

A little kid runs through, giggling. A few seconds later, Parsons bursts in, chasing, yelling 'You little rascal!'. He picks him up and leaves the room, muttering 'You silly thing you!'

[States of Glory WA Office]

Lockwood gazes forlornly out the window to the other debate halls, which are overflowing with chattering ambassadors. In his drafting table? Silence. He knows it's undiplomatic to sleep on the job, but this lack of discussion is really wearing him out. Maybe he'll just rest his eyes...

A little kid runs through, giggling. A few seconds later, Parsons bursts in, chasing, yelling 'You little rascal!'. He picks him up and leaves the room, muttering 'You silly thing you!'

Fairburn: (with a custard pie on his face) Honestly, Lord Colonel His Grace Cyril Parsons, 1st Duke of Geneva, 1st Earl Parsons of Eastminster, 8th Viscount Parsons of Eastminster, 1st Baron Markenshire of Concilium, Knight of the Garter, Grand Cross of St Michael and St George, Privy Councillor, Member of Parliament for Those-Across-the-Seas; Proconsul Decimus; Permanent Representative to the World Assembly, you need to learn to control that scallywag.

Neville: (looks at Lockwood) Oh, hey, there. Are you asleep? He looks asleep.

Fairburn: Let's draw on his face with permanent marker. At least then I won't be the person who has the most ridiculous face in this room. Also, the pie tastes awful.

[Umeria]

Fairburn: Let's draw on his face with permanent marker. At least then I won't be the person who has the most ridiculous face in this room. Also, the pie tastes awful.

Carlyle walks in. "Permanent marker? What the bloody hell do you thing you're doing? (a brief moment of awkward silence) You know this room has windows, right? Look, use this napkin to wipe that pie off if you don't like it. Does anyone have any comments, about this repeal, not about Lockwood's unconsciousness?"

Lockwood dreams he is walking through a jungle filled with dozens of chattering monkeys.